Commenting on other people's horses

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WeeBrown

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How comfy are you at making comments to other people on your yard, i.e their management of their horses, their horses themselves etc?

I'm constantly baffled by how rude/cheeky some people are. The comments are not always aimed at me I should add, just a few recently have made me raise my eyebrow. I should be used to this by now as I have been on yards for nearly 4 years but not sure I ever will - never had this issue when I rented friends' fields for my pony years ago.

I don't comment about people's management if the horse is o.k. If it is not the way I'd do things I tend to think each to their own. If the horse was being mistreated or there was a welfare issue I'd see the YO.
 
Unless the horse was being neglected or badly treated I would not make a comment unless I was asked for help/ an opinion.
 
Personally think this is a major problem with livery yards. If horse is happy & healthy, owner is happy with horse, what does anyone elses opinion matter? If I were you I'd not be drawn into these conversations, either don't comment or leave them to it.
 
Some people love to poke their oar in, I don't ever comment on how other people manage their horses. I have friends on the yard who I gently suggest things to, and they suggest things to me, but I would never offer unsolicted advice to another unless welfare was seriously compromised.

I'm no bloody expert anyway to give any advice :D
 
Santa's Little Helper said:
Unless the horse was being neglected or badly treated I would not make a comment unless I was asked for help/ an opinion.
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Agree with this completely.

I think some people want to seem the all knowing horseperson and point out every little thing, but so long as it suits the horse and owner then I don't see why it's anyone elses business.
 
There is only me and YO on my yard so it's a bit different but she quite happily tells me every day that my horses are too thin/underfed/overfed/over worked/under worked etc. I just let it go over my head (luckily I'm laid back lol) and tell myself it's because she's jealous that mine are in work, don't destroy things and are well mannered (most of the time :rolleyes: )

As a few people on here know my opinion on her way of caring for her horses is rather low, however as they get fed and mucked out and occasionally shown a brush plus they get the farrier regularly and vaccinated once a year I keep my mouth shut. There are a lot of horses in a worse position, plus as I feed them every evening and look after them two weekends a month they get some extra TLC then lol :D

If I visit someone else's yard and I'm :eek: :eek: :eek: at what they're doing I might say "Oh your horse is well behave, mine wouldn't stand for that" or something similar ;)
 
I wouldn't say anything now unless cruel/horse suffering through negligence or it affects me and my lot.Would say it sometimes does bother me what people do but wouldn't say anything now unless as already stated.
Even if I try to say things nicely people always seem to think I'm having a go so don't now.I obviously come across wrongly but thats because I actually don't like confrontations or saying anything at all to a person so it comeso out wrong.
 
I wouldn't usually say anything unless asked, however...

right now I am really struggling as there is a horse on the yard now who's management I completely disagree with. I won't say anything though I don't suppose!
 
To be honest, if somebody had an issue with the way I keep my horses, I would rather they came directly to me to say so, rather than bi**h about it behind my back. The same goes if I have worries about how somebody is dealing with their horse, and I have in the past expressed concern at a yard on an elderly arthritic mare being kept in 24/7 without anywhere near enough food. Unless there was what I would class as cruelty/neglect taking place, I would keep quiet, however if a horse is being neglected I could never just stand back and keep quiet.

You can get the point across without being nasty, being nice goes a long way.
 
I comment if i'm asked for advise which seems to be frequent as i'm the vet nurse for their horses' vet practice! I tend to bite my tongue and stay quiet for schooling issues or stable management and just think to myself each to their own. I would only step in if horses welfare is compromised or if someone is really struggling, especially where wound management or medication is envolved.
 
I don't comment unless the horse is being abused, neglected or I'm asked.
During shows I go to watch/take pictures, normally unaffiliated or normal Eventing, I see kids whipping, spurring and pulling their horses in the mouth needlessly. If they're near me I'll do the immature thing and when talking to a friend I'll shout "Did you see that one on the little bay pony with the pink numnah. Yeah, disgraceful, glad I don't ride like that." It usually works :D

If I can't do the above immature thing, or I'm attempting to keep up appearances (which I usually fail at) I stare. I've been told if I had the full blown mind of a woman, I could turn people to stone :D yay.

But. I don't think it's anyone business what people do with their horses if the horse is happy :)
 
Ahhh,the wonder of livery yards.
I agree with you- as long as the horse is not suffering then hw exactly it is being taken care off is no concern of anyone.
There are 1001 ways to do things and "not my way" is not the same as wrong....
 
If someone asks me for advice then il give them my opinion but i usually stay away from anything which may cause controversey!! If someone says "Oh isnt my horse so pretty!" i tend to just agree even if i think otherwise :p But there have been some rude people on the yard who just comment on everything "I dont like the colour of your horse ... hes getting fat ... omg how much do you feed that horse ... your beds to clean ... your horse is good for nothing!" personally i just tend to ignore these jealous ignorent folk :D
 
I mind my own business unless I see a horse being mistreated or if I think my advice could be really helpful. I am always willing to give advice when I am asked though. :)
 
Where I am there are a lot of horses that are not kept the way I keep mine. However I just think 'each to their own' and live and let live on that front. The horses are healthy and their needs are seen to, which is, at the end of the day, what matters. They probably don't agree with the way I keep my horses either!!
 
Luckily on our yard everyone gets on pretty well so it's not a problem, we tend to laugh at each other for putting on five rugs/no rugs at all or whatever, all the horses are happy and if we need any help we ask one another.

If someone did think I was doing something wrong I'd rather they talk to me than about me though.
 
not everyone in the horseworld are nice, most like the sound of their own voice and trying to be a know it all. i would not say anything unless the animal was being abused or neglected, you never know what they may do to your own horses whilst your back is turned. so glad im on my own !
 
I have opinions on certain aspects of the other liveries' care, but would never say anything unless specifically asked. Some people feel compelled to tell me I'm cruel for clipping my horse out (in full work), over rugging, over feeding.....but same people then ask how my horse looks so well, shiny and fit when theirs looks stary coated, ribby and ropey. Someone moaned at me today for clipping my mare, yet I can guarantee that tomorrow she will be badgering me to clip hers for her.

It's human nature to pass (silent) judgement on other people's methods. I think it would be nice if those judgements were kept silent - and even if the horse in question was suffering I think there are ways of saying things which keep the owner on your side and receptive to that advice.

Someone once told me my horse was 'boring'. I'd so love to get him to ride her out alone,because he'd change his mind immediately. I was most hurt, and still am - and it was months and months ago. :)
 
I am sick to death with people commenting on others riding both on here, youtube, around the yard and competitions. As long as the horse is not in pain or being abused why do people feel the need to pass judgement on other people's riding? No-bodie's perfect, and never will be. Yes there are riders out there that will be better or not so than others, but why do others feel the need to broadcast this? Of course I will take critisism as I think this is a major way in which we improve and learn. BUT, I refuse to take crit from anyone other than experienced knowledgeable people or an instructor.
 
Jayde87 said:
I am sick to death with people commenting on others riding both on here, youtube, around the yard and competitions. As long as the horse is not in pain or being abused why do people feel the need to pass judgement on other people's riding? No-bodie's perfect, and never will be. Yes there are riders out there that will be better or not so than others, but why do others feel the need to broadcast this? Of course I will take critisism as I think this is a major way in which we improve and learn. BUT, I refuse to take crit from anyone other than experienced knowledgeable people or an instructor.
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But you are thinking about wearing a bright pink stock. In public. Therefore your opinion is invalid.
;):)
 
im going to go against the grain a bit here but as a novice owner ona busy diy livery yard i love it when people comment on my horse - good or bad, though i must say it is never ever done in a nasty way.
My fellow liveries have helped me so so much and i love them for it - they arte always coming up to check his tack, tell me when im riding forward (my big fault - i tend to lean forward when riding) - i would be more offended and hurt if they didnt xxx
 
hasten to add - i also have an instructor who comes weekly and doesnt just teach me to ride, she offers advice on general care, feed etc - shes a star and i can text her anytime if ever im worried, confused etc -
I really dont understand people who dont want to learn and improve - knowledge is power - im so grateful when people will share it for the benefit of my horse xxx
 
This thread is missing the point a bit, I feel.

Advising when it's not wanted, trying to change someone's management when it's not cruel, thats not really on (and actually, really annoying...).

However, commenting on someone's horse or management isn't! What if the owner hasn't spotted something is amiss? What if your comment won't go down like a lead balloon, but will help the owner change something!

I dislike the idea of "my horse, my way" on livery yards. Tis how Dorey ended up with a bestest best friend who lived in a foot deep pile of dirty bedding, was starving despite eating constantly because no one would call the vet/dentist, who was dangerous to turn out, dangerous to bring in and is now dead, at the untimely age of 3 years.

The owner still thinks she is better than god and told me how to look after Dorey regularly!!
 
Surely it's the YO/YM's duty to comment if necessary, and that of the other liveries to give advice if looked for.

If every livery owner knew the exact circumstances of every horse on their yard, and were knowledgeable enough to actually know the right way to do things, fair enough. Sadly, that's not usually the case.

That's why I like having my own place - each horse/pony is managed according to their needs, with the default option being unshod/out 24/7 and extras added as required. I've got one unshod, one shod in front (remedial shoeing), and two shod all round, three live out and one lives in with 1/2hr turnout twice a day due to a medical condition, they all have different feed, and are kept at a reasonable condition score without being allowed to become overweight. In spring I'll be able to strip graze as needed.
 
Jayde87 said:
I am sick to death with people commenting on others riding both on here, youtube, around the yard and competitions. As long as the horse is not in pain or being abused why do people feel the need to pass judgement on other people's riding? No-bodie's perfect, and never will be. Yes there are riders out there that will be better or not so than others, but why do others feel the need to broadcast this? Of course I will take critisism as I think this is a major way in which we improve and learn. BUT, I refuse to take crit from anyone other than experienced knowledgeable people or an instructor.
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I take your point - I have most been removed from this kind of thing - because I'm a bloke - quite a rare commodity on Horsey Yards. ( The very fact that I'd be outnumbered 40 -1 made horses an easy choice!) Most of the ladies - even the ones I found attractive, would spent inordinate amounts of time bitching their friends! They could have said the same things about me but I never heard.

I think much depends on circumstance - if you are the sort to ride about as if saying "get me" then you are set up for a few brickbats. Again, if you are aiming at specifics such as dressage - then there are standards which you might attain or fail and your attempts will be "discussed" - in the feedroom while you are out.
 
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