Comments on your riding that make you laugh

[Pinkvboots]

I once did a particularly hairy dressage test Grace felt like an unexploded bomb and jogged when we were meant to walk I had some piaffe and passage thrown in, a few leaps in the air and lots of snorting and throwing her head around, and I managed to go wrong so the whole thing was a disaster

Notes from judge was oh dear Elizabeth it really wasn't your day today but I give you full marks for trying to finish the test.

 

[JBM]

When I was learning to jump I was so worried about pulling the horses mouth I used to throw my hands forward
My instructor said I looked like a chicken trying to fly

 

[Sciath]

Given my utterly poor lower leg until just recently: "You look like your trying to swim!"

 

[View]

A very long time ago I was on a course with the late Dick Stillwell, he told one rider his legs were "as ineffective as two straws hanging out a hay loft" and another rider, who was already riding internationally, "if you want to play with yourself go outside till your finished" when he was consistently carrying his hands too low.

Oh that reminds me of the feeling of utter uselessness when he asked me when I was actually going to ride the horse.

 

[EventingMum]

Oh that reminds me of the feeling of utter uselessness when he asked me when I was actually going to ride the horse.

I was 15 or 16 at the time and spent the whole time terrified he was going to say something awful to me but he was actually very nice and liked my horse, plus I got 3 days off school to go!

 

[View]

Um, was this at Kilmardinny? Because I also got three days off school at around the same age, and was horrified to find my PE teacher also had flu …

 

[First Frost]

Comment from a very well known dressage judge and trainer., who I know well adn doesn't give out many compliments.
I decided to take this as a compliment

' you are not the most stylish rider but you're very effective'

 

[JBM]

Wrong thread

 

[magicmoments]

'You've got feel'. I took from that ' you've got feel, but can't ride for toffee'. Said by PH to me in a school master lesson. I did/do find it amusing. Fortunately my riding, one issue in particular, that plagued me for years has now been resolved, thank goodness

 

[shanti]

One that I always remember was from an Andalusian breeder who I visited. He chucked me on his top-level jousting stallion and among the multiple comments regarding my horrendous riding he kept yelling ''TIT'S TO THE SKY"
My current instructor always tells me that I should have been a motorbike rider instead of a horse rider due to the amount of sideways leaning I do

 

[rabatsa]

I had a ride on a really well trained corida horse when I stayed with friends in Spain. Before mounting I was told not to give any aids, just think what I wanted to do.

When I got a half pass instead of canter the comment shouted across the arena was "You thought too hard."

 

[clairebearfur1]

In a good way

I was told today that I look like an enthusiastic teenager when I'm jumping my horse - given I'm approaching a rather significant 0 birthday later this year, this has made me very happy (nearly as happy as jumping my horse does).

What's made you laugh?

Love this !! lol!!

 

[Tarragon]

not my riding but my horse from a very small child we passed. It pointed to my horse and said "donkey" A real comedown for an arab stallion.

Visions of Donkey from Shrek jump into my mind!

 

[Ratface]

I had a ride on a really well trained corida horse when I stayed with friends in Spain. Before mounting I was told not to give any aids, just think what I wanted to do.

When I got a half pass instead of canter the comment shouted across the arena was "You thought too hard."

When I was still able to ride Old Horse, I found that "thinking what I wanted him to do" was very effective, as was breathing in when I wanted him to move off and breathing out when I wanted him to stop. Him having a silly s** moment was resolved by a sharp "Oy, You!!"
He's a very clever horse who knows exactly how to get what he wants without pushing it too far.

 

[supertramp]

Don't interfere with his business, its none of yours! coming into a jump and i like to micro manage

 

[doodle]

I once got told "looks like your lower leg has sat a few bucks"

 

[AppyLover1996]

I have quite a few that stick in my mind and make me chuckle :

1) Riding a very spicy OTTB who had recently come out of training - we were trying to nail to trot to canter without letting him run into it, my instructor after she finished laughing said "You suit him but by god did he look like a chicken legging it down the side of the arena and you looked completely lost - the pair of you are hilarious!"

2) Riding my currently owned Appy x New Forest (who is very opinionated!) - at a local clinic and he had only just come back into work due to a tendon injury so was supposed to be taking it easy. Said pony had other ideas and erupted into a set of spectacular broncs down the long side of the arena after being asked for a simple leg yeild in walk, proper putting his back into it and almost depositing me on the ground. When he realised I was still in the saddle much to his dismay, he promptly sat down and I slid pathetically down his back like it was a slide cause I wasn't expecting it and didn't have any stirrups - clinician had to excuse herself to change her underwear and compose herself...

3) Again with currently owned Appy x - showing at a local friendly venue, instructor came along for moral support as I become a wreck in show environments. Only doing the best equitation class and ridden odd coloured class, my instructor didn't realise the group of impressionable young children behind her and yelled the following across the arena "Ride with your t*ts proper sticking out cause they're bloody massive, have your hips like a wh**e cause he ain't listening, and if you flap like a bloody chicken one more time going into canter, I'm going to bridle you and ride you in the next damned class!" The children luckily found it hilarious and their poor parents had a barrage of questions to answer afterwards - but we placed in the class

4) Riding a friend's 18.2hh Clydesdale cross whilst she rode her daughter's 13.2 sports pony - innocent passer by said "why is the midget on the giant and how on earth did she get up there?"

5) If you rode as pretty as you looked, you'd get what you want a lot quicker - to which I replied "Oh you think I'm pretty?" (being sarcastic as I'm nothing special by a county mile!) and the horse I was riding promptly stopped in front of the arena mirrors and whinnied at himself

6) Why is it when I put you on a complete knob of a horse you ride bloody fab, but stick you on a schoolmaster and you ride completely shite (from a dear friend who sadly is no longer with us, but she had a valid point God rest her soul!)

 

[Fjord]

In response to my ineffective leg flapping: 'Pretend you're riding a space hopper. She's shaped like a space hopper...'

 

[YourValentine]

"Arse in, tits out" shouted by my mum on a hack.

There were 4 cyclists behind us in hearing distance

 

[EventingMum]

Um, was this at Kilmardinny? Because I also got three days off school at around the same age, and was horrified to find my PE teacher also had flu …

Yes! Back in the days when there were very few indoor shows - just Kilmardinny and Foxley.

 

[Pedantic]

Years ago, went to local show, entered the ride ability class, judge said "we have a lot of bad habits don't we" to which I replied, "when you have a pony that will canter for 15 miles non stop, you Just get comfy", our forte was endurance riding.

 

[Tarragon]

I like the use of the Royal We in that example. I would have asked them what their bad habits were!

 

[View]

Yes! Back in the days when there were very few indoor shows - just Kilmardinny and Foxley.

And then Letham House for a while. Now I am showing my age.

But what a small world, our paths must have crossed.

 

[EventingMum]

And then Letham House for a while. Now I am showing my age.

But what a small world, our paths must have crossed.

Yes, quite possibly, I had a little chestnut horse called Ricardo V, in case that rings any bells?

 

[Tinsel]

Once got told to "lift your inside hand up and carry it in front of you, at the moment you look like you're scratching your f*nny". I was laughing so hard I nearly fell off and had to stop the horse!