Considering selling Sam

(((hugs))) having seen (briefly) what Oliver can be like I understand your predicament. I really wouldn't try to make a decision now without looking into the options for maybe moving him somewhere where he can be turned out over the winter and seeing how it goes as Oliver gets a bit older.
 
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now see im like a rabbit dog with james i wont let anyone look after him not my mum or my sisters who have young babies/children themselves i let G watch him if i want to nip to the shop or have a bath.I think all together i have spent 1-2 max hours away from him in 22 weeks.There are days i wish i could let go a bit and go ride jay but i dont actually miss riding at all,i miss grooming jay and mucking out doing all the hard work.
I could do it anyday i wanted to but i refuse to take james onto a yard enviroment for any long ammount of time,i will take him on to just look at the horses for ten mins and thats about it.

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I was a bit like you at first, but a yard environment is not going to kill him. In fact it was proved that children that regularily came into contact with animals developed less allergies than those that didn't!! I understand why you are reluctant to leave him with anyone, my parents were the only ones allowed to baby sit...but there is no reason why, if you have someone reliable, you can't take some time out to ride. It does the children good, What happens when the time comes to start playgroup? If he's only used to you, it will be really traumatic for him!! I'm not critizing you, because as a new mum, I was confinced that no one could do as good a job as me, as a consequence my daughter was really clingy.
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im sorry but my little girl is now 16months old and she has only got easier to take up the yard with me just take a bucket load of toys juice biscuits etc and its not so hard i get a little break from her and she loves being out in the fresh air watching all the animals and the fresh air tires her out

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I really like the idea of him being able to spend lots of time outdoors as a young child, sounds like things are working well for you now!
 
Nice to hear you managed to muddle though! I think I will persevere a bit longer.

I'm breastfeeding too which makes it more difficult to get time away to yourself doesn't it!
 
DebDeb- he is starting going to my childminder in october her garden backs onto mine she is registered and is fantastic with children you can see them having music time etc its so cute.
She comes round once a week at the moment just for an hour in her spare time for a cup of tea and to let james get used to her.James loves her but then he is happy to go to anybody who wants to hold him he is not clingy at all.
And we are working it so when he starts going to her i stay for less an less time each time so he gets used to me going away but i will come back.I want him to be looked after by other people in the next month or so BUT my mum runs a pub and she smokes in her house so i dont want him sat in a bar or been around smoke,my 2 sisters have children of there own both have young babies and i know for a fact if i was looking after another child for someone james would come my priority above anyone elses he would get what he needed first so i presume anyone else would be like that.
His father works 6 days a week from dawn till dusk so i dont feel its fair to land him with a baby on his only day off when he gets up ealrier than me 6 days a week.
So it really is a case aswell of not really having anyone to look after him.
 
I'm in Darlington, County Durham. A share would be the ideal solution but I think the success of one depends very much on finding the right person- not easy!
 
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DebDeb- he is starting going to my childminder in october her garden backs onto mine she is registered and is fantastic with children you can see them having music time etc its so cute.
She comes round once a week at the moment just for an hour in her spare time for a cup of tea and to let james get used to her.James loves her but then he is happy to go to anybody who wants to hold him he is not clingy at all.
And we are working it so when he starts going to her i stay for less an less time each time so he gets used to me going away but i will come back.I want him to be looked after by other people in the next month or so BUT my mum runs a pub and she smokes in her house so i dont want him sat in a bar or been around smoke,my 2 sisters have children of there own both have young babies and i know for a fact if i was looking after another child for someone james would come my priority above anyone elses he would get what he needed first so i presume anyone else would be like that.
His father works 6 days a week from dawn till dusk so i dont feel its fair to land him with a baby on his only day off when he gets up ealrier than me 6 days a week.
So it really is a case aswell of not really having anyone to look after him.

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Oh that's a different matter, I remember not going to visit my sister in law for nearly a year because she had a dog that used to growl at the children and because mine were used to our soppy old lab, I didn't want them to think that her dog could be laid all over as well!! I'm sure I was considered snooty and neurotic...
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no well i have mates who wont come here because i have a staffy and they are scared of him even though he is soppy and daft as a brush but he is big and heavy and likes to sit on knees.But i refuse to shut him in a different room he has the run of the house he goes where he likes sleeps in beds with us,so i refuse to isolate him as its important to me he does not feel pushed out and relate it to the baby.
He is wonderful with james though he hits him and pulls his ears and strokes him and tyson just sits and wags his tail,BUT i would never leave him in a room alone with him as thats just stupid i would not leave any dog alone with a baby if i leave the room the dog or the baby goes with me.
 
im a single parent and was b4 he was born and i managed horse and my little boy my parents works 7 till 5 n had him now and again but it hard but i managed it. Hes now three and loves going up to the yard
 
L- have you got any of the taggi range toys for oliver?

james has the entire range and whenever i want him to sleep i either give him a blanket or the sheep and he goes over with them as he finds them soothing.They are quite pricey but so worth it and they use them for years,like i say james has the whole range of them and they each have different uses for each mood.
If you dont have anywhere near you which stocks them i could send you one in the post if you would like to give them a try i swear by them.
 
Can I just say - oh my god! Give yourself a chance. 11 weeks? That's nothing at all, of course you're kn*ckered and of course you are going to feel you just don't have a spare second (and this is coming from someone that doesn't have kids!) Your horse will be fine, you have a good few months yet before you have to consider bringing him in and you may find your energy levels do increase over that time and your baby will get into a routine. it's probably a case of that whole tough love thing and letting him cry for a bit to be honest whilst maybe you're spending a few minutes away from his view. I would suggest just trying to increase the time you are way from him when he starts crying to be honest but at the end of the day, stop putting pressure on yourself, not everyone can bounce straight back!

Oh, and I would try word of mouth, there will be somebody you could loan him to out there I am sure (the horse not the baby obviously!
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) . I certainly wouldn't make any rash decisions about selling now (that's enough stress as it is anyway!!)

Just go put your feet up and enjoy the sunshine
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I'm in awe of single mums, you did very well to juggle it all kirst!

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i second on that one although im technically a single mum i do live with his dad and i do rely on enouragment and support from him i would not ope if i was on my own.
 
You will get there its tuff but in my option my little boy did get easyer but like we all know every child is diffrent. It wasnt easy 4 me as i suffered post natel depression but the horses kept me going hugs
 
i have post natal depression too and body dysmorphia but my post natal deprsssion came about because of the body dysmorphia its not towards the baby but all towards myself but im on tablets for it now and they seem to be helping a bit still have rash an burn days where im sik if i see my body in mirror but it is improving.
 
My daughter is now 9 1/2months and i think it gets easier when they can play with toys and entertain themself a bit.

She was born in october and been up the yard everyday, and open pushchair is a good idea, so he can watch you. i always left her if she is she wingde (sp) a bit (evil parent) but other wise you end up picking them up all the time and it gets worse.

She has now learnt to entertain herself, a good life skill. and i sit her by the fence in her pushchair put some hay by the fence to keep the ponies there and she will watch them or play with her toys, while i do everything.

no looking forward to the winter at ponies split on two yards. on the main yard i have tured one of the stallion stables into a play room with foam mats, so hopefully she will play in there will have to see. can understand that everyone doesnt have the same set up.

i have nother friend who gets up after she gives the baby morning feed a 5.30 and goes an mucks out and rides then leaving baby in bed with o/h her baby is 3months
 
Friend at the yard has 2 kids she actually bought her horse when the 1st was 6 months as an escape from the house ( god written down that sounds terrible!!) she used to take one of those self swinging chairs upto the yard and sit him in it outside the school and although she only got probably 1/2 an hour riding she found that really worked.
2nd baby from being born has been carried in his sling to the field, has muck picked, mucked out. At 1 year her eldest started nursery just 1 morning a week and she decided that morning was hers to spend with the horse and her hubbie likes the fact that as she goes out to do the horse at weekends he can have one on one time with the kids at home. She fits riding in as and when she can and doesnt beat her self up if she doesnt ride. She has had many ups and downs and has nearly sold her horse a few times but all in all she manages and as her oldest is now 3 1/2 he loves coming to the yard to play, and as he has grown up round the horses is an absolute pleasure to have around.
Good luck and be sure before you make any decisions.
 
Obviously I have no idea about being a mum, but would it be possible to get a childminder for a couple of mornings a week for you to get a break and go ride before you're exhausted?

I also think looking for a sharer [either paid or unpaid] might help you out a lot. It is a case of finding the right person of course, but Sam is a lovely horse and I'm sure you could find somebody, even if not straight away. It would be a shame for you to have to sell him when you've done so well with him - even a full loan for a year or so might be an option?

((hugs))
 
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im amazed how many people think babies get easier as they get older,i think its the other way round when they are little they sleep most of the time and dont needs as much interaction.
I find james harder now as he is so playful and once they start crawling then toddling you cant turn your back for a second.

[/ QUOTE ] Totally agree there is nothing easier than a really young baby . I had four and was a nanny before that . They just get harder as they get older and more mobile and OMG just wait till they are teenagers no one warns you about that!!
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Yes he does have some Taggie toys (DrSunflower & DrWeevil bought him one when he was born
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the horse wont suffer having 6 months off.
personally, i would get a sharer to have him for 4-6 days and just go down,even if you dotn ride, as a little break.im sure there would be loads of people wanting him!
 
Sounds like you are doing really well!

I too let Oliver grizzle and whinge to himself without intervening so we are both evil lol! I don't however let him scream to the point of getting distressed though which is what often happens if let to cry for any amount of time
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He IS getting better though and will spend more time alone looking at his mobile over his cot etc so I'm hoping things carry on getting better
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Your friend sounds like an inspiration! She is so right about the riding/not riding and not beating herself up... I need to be more like that!
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I would agree with the others above find a sharer for him..then you can still have your away time and as things get easier with the little one you can go back to it...Then at least you wont think what have i done in a few months time...
 
I can't really justify the cost of a childminder tbh.

I have tried to convince DrSunflower to come up and work for free as our aupair/groom but she refuses
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I have four little darlings and gave up trying to keep my horse when my eldest about 7 months. I regretted it so much and had to wait until one of them showed an interest to get back into horses. It will be tough but dont make any quick decisions. Everything changes when you have a baby especially in those first few months> give yourself time. He may be clingy at the moment ,next month not. You must keep sometime to yourself for you own sanity , its so easy as a new parent to forget that. Maybe try and get a share to help with the responsibility. Good luck whatever you decide.
 
I have my TB because his owner didnt have enough time and Ive still got him 3 years later not bad for a 1 year loan. Id try this route if you can find someone reliable for a year or so. Sid'd owner is wellcome to come and ride anytime but she doesnt have time but you could sort this out with someone surley. Good luck!
 
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