Dangerous / aggressive horse - advice needed?!

[Gallop_Away]

I am having him pts by injection and the vets have recomended a company to collect him afterwards, he will be going for communal cremation. I feel so guilty and awful that I can't have him privately cremated and recieve his ashes back, but its £850 on top of everything else and i physically dont have the money.
I will of course be taking some of his tail/mane to have some lovely jewellery made out of , I want a necklace made with his tail hair so i can wear it all of the time so he will always be with me. I feel awful about not being able to have his ashes back but i keep trying to tell myself i have spent the money on vet treatment etc for him so that means more to him in that way... as he wont know whether ive had his ashes back or not... or atleast thats what im telling myself anyway!

I will obviously stay with him for the injection and until the collection people come, and then at that point when they are there i will say my final goodbyes and walk away so i cannot see it, i know they will be as respectful as possible but there really is only one way they can do it and theyre a big animal to move so i dont want to see that bit, but ive just got to remember he wont know anything about that as he will hvae already gone bless him Xxx

Please OP do not feel guilty. You have done everything for your boy during his time with you and you are giving him a peaceful and dignified end. What happens to him "afterwards" will not matter to him. You have been there for him as a dedicated owner when he has needed you. You have nothing to feel guilty about. After he has gone, it is only the shell that remains. He will be free and at peace.

 

[happyhorse978]

Please OP do not feel guilty. You have done everything for your boy during his time with you and you are giving him a peaceful and dignified end. What happens to him "afterwards" will not matter to him. You have been there for him as a dedicated owner when he has needed you. You have nothing to feel guilty about. After he has gone, it is only the shell that remains. He will be free and at peace.

Thank you so much that has made me feel so much better xxx

 

[Peglo]

So so sorry for you. ?

I made the decision to pts my oldie in the summer but I organised it for the next day as the waiting for me would’ve been a real struggle. I didn’t stay with her for the blue injection so if you feel it’s too much on the day it’s ok to leave.
I also kept mane and tail but haven’t done anything with it yet.

Lastly I just want to say what an amazing owner you are and I really hope when you’re ready you will get another horse to cherish, as you have your lovely boy. Big hugs.

 

[Merrymoles]

I am having him pts by injection and the vets have recomended a company to collect him afterwards, he will be going for communal cremation. I feel so guilty and awful that I can't have him privately cremated and recieve his ashes back, but its £850 on top of everything else and i physically dont have the money.
I will of course be taking some of his tail/mane to have some lovely jewellery made out of , I want a necklace made with his tail hair so i can wear it all of the time so he will always be with me. I feel awful about not being able to have his ashes back but i keep trying to tell myself i have spent the money on vet treatment etc for him so that means more to him in that way... as he wont know whether ive had his ashes back or not... or atleast thats what im telling myself anyway!

I will obviously stay with him for the injection and until the collection people come, and then at that point when they are there i will say my final goodbyes and walk away so i cannot see it, i know they will be as respectful as possible but there really is only one way they can do it and theyre a big animal to move so i dont want to see that bit, but ive just got to remember he wont know anything about that as he will hvae already gone bless him Xxx

I have had times of great peace when I have stayed after they have gone before the collection people come and I hope you can feel that too. But, like you, I have never wanted to stay for the collection - that's the time to go and get a cup of tea or whatever your poison is.

I, also, have never had individual cremation or the ashes returned and I have not regretted that. And it is far better that you have spent your money investigating his problems while he is alive than saving it to spend on his ashes. I think the waiting is the worst part and once they have gone, you know their essence has gone and the remains are just remains. I took some mane hair from my boy when I lost him this time last year, planning to do something with it but now it doesn't really feel like part of him any more so I haven't.

 

[happyhorse978]

So so sorry for you. ?

I made the decision to pts my oldie in the summer but I organised it for the next day as the waiting for me would’ve been a real struggle. I didn’t stay with her for the blue injection so if you feel it’s too much on the day it’s ok to leave.
I also kept mane and tail but haven’t done anything with it yet.

Lastly I just want to say what an amazing owner you are and I really hope when you’re ready you will get another horse to cherish, as you have your lovely boy. Big hugs.

Thank you so very much. I am so sorry for your loss xx
I will definitely have another horse at some point, theyre my life and I wouldnt cope without one! Its a lifestyle isnt it. thank you again xxx

 

[happyhorse978]

I have had times of great peace when I have stayed after they have gone before the collection people come and I hope you can feel that too. But, like you, I have never wanted to stay for the collection - that's the time to go and get a cup of tea or whatever your poison is.

I, also, have never had individual cremation or the ashes returned and I have not regretted that. And it is far better that you have spent your money investigating his problems while he is alive than saving it to spend on his ashes. I think the waiting is the worst part and once they have gone, you know their essence has gone and the remains are just remains. I took some mane hair from my boy when I lost him this time last year, planning to do something with it but now it doesn't really feel like part of him any more so I haven't.

thank you so much xxx

 

[Trouper]

Vets I have used have been quite good at sticking to the arranged time when coming out to do something upsetting like this. Both times I have asked them/the transporter to liaise so that they are on site at much the same time. They will still leave you in peace to say your goodbyes but it does save dragging the whole miserable experience out for too long.

 

[Goldie's mum]

Thank you on behalf of us all for being such a credit to the horse owing world.
Nothing but time will ease your pain but you are feeling like this so that he doesn't feel pain. Try to remember you are carrying the burden for him. Well Done!

 

[happyhorse978]

Vets I have used have been quite good at sticking to the arranged time when coming out to do something upsetting like this. Both times I have asked them/the transporter to liaise so that they are on site at much the same time. They will still leave you in peace to say your goodbyes but it does save dragging the whole miserable experience out for too long.

thank you very much xx x

 

[happyhorse978]

Thank you on behalf of us all for being such a credit to the horse owing world.
Nothing but time will ease your pain but you are feeling like this so that he doesn't feel pain. Try to remember you are carrying the burden for him. Well Done!

What a lovely way to think of it.. thank you so so much i think this will help me if i think of it like this, i really appreciate this thank you xxx

 

[Annagain]

I am having him pts by injection and the vets have recomended a company to collect him afterwards, he will be going for communal cremation. I feel so guilty and awful that I can't have him privately cremated and recieve his ashes back, but its £850 on top of everything else and i physically dont have the money.

I had my old boy's ashes back and to be honest, by the time they arrived I had started to heal and wasn't bursting into tears at the drop of a hat. It just opened up an old wound and I wish I had never had them back. There was also far more than I expected and I didn't really know what to do with them. The vision I had of them floating off on the wind just didn't happen, the just landed in a heap and I felt a bit silly. I wouldn't have them back again.

How you treat him when he's alive is what matters, not what happens afterwards and you've treated him with kindness and compassion throughout all of this. That's what you need to focus on.

 

[happyhorse978]

I had my old boy's ashes back and to be honest, by the time they arrived I had started to heal and wasn't bursting into tears at the drop of a hat. It just opened up an old wound and I wish I had never had them back. There was also far more than I expected and I didn't really know what to do with them. The vision I had of them floating off on the wind just didn't happen, the just landed in a heap and I felt a bit silly. I wouldn't have them back again.

How you treat him when he's alive is what matters, not what happens afterwards and you've treated him with kindness and compassion throughout all of this. That's what you need to focus on.

Thank you so much that is very kind xxx

 

[splashgirl45]

I’ve never had ashes back from any of my animals as I feel their spirit is with me all of the time, the body is just enclosing the spirit and personality, which is always in my heart. Photos of when they are alive and well and much more precious. Please don’t feel guilty, he will be in your heart forever

 

[happyhorse978]

I’ve never had ashes back from any of my animals as I feel their spirit is with me all of the time, the body is just enclosing the spirit and personality, which is always in my heart. Photos of when they are alive and well and much more precious. Please don’t feel guilty, he will be in your heart forever

that is very true, thank you xxx

 

[SEL]

I'll be thinking of you next week xxx.

In some ways we should feel lucky that we don't have to let them suffer. My old boy looked stunning the day we said goodbye but he was as high as a kite on drugs. I suppose he could have limped on painfully for years because the rest of his body was fine, but that's no life. It hurts so much, but you know you're doing right by him and that's what matters xx

 

[happyhorse978]

I'll be thinking of you next week xxx.

In some ways we should feel lucky that we don't have to let them suffer. My old boy looked stunning the day we said goodbye but he was as high as a kite on drugs. I suppose he could have limped on painfully for years because the rest of his body was fine, but that's no life. It hurts so much, but you know you're doing right by him and that's what matters xx

Thank you so so much xxx

 

[ycbm]

And with all you have on your plate, you have given a personal thank you to every poster who has supported you. What a lovely person you are, your horse is lucky to have you.
.

 

[happyhorse978]

And with all you have on your plate, you have given a personal thank you to every poster who has supported you. What a lovely person you are, your horse is lucky to have you.
.

Awww that’s so sweet Thankyou so much. I just really appreciate everyone commenting , you all don’t realise how much you have truly helped me, so thank you all so so much xxxx

 

[ElvisandTilly]

My heart goes out to you but you have done everything you could and you have always put your boy first. I will be thinking of you. Xx

 

[Pinkvboots]

I'm so sorry your such a good owner you have everything you possibly could and I will think of you next week xx

 

[happyhorse978]

My heart goes out to you but you have done everything you could and you have always put your boy first. I will be thinking of you. Xx

Thankyou so much xxx

 

[happyhorse978]

I'm so sorry your such a good owner you have everything you possibly could and I will think of you next week xx

Thankyou so much xxxx

 

[Fjord]

I'm so sorry you've had to make this decision. You are doing the right thing and have been a wonderfully caring owner to him. I hope you can look back on happy memories with your boy xx

 

[happyhorse978]

I'm so sorry you've had to make this decision. You are doing the right thing and have been a wonderfully caring owner to him. I hope you can look back on happy memories with your boy xx

Thankyou so very much xxx

 

[OldNag]

I am so sorry. Your horse has been so lucky to have you as his owner. Xx

 

[happyhorse978]

I am so sorry. Your horse has been so lucky to have you as his owner. Xx

thank you so much xxx

 

[Fransurrey]

So sorry you've had to make this decision. Sending you lots of strength for next Thursday. I used Tailend jewellery for my necklace and love it (I have the heart pendant).

Definitely make sure you're out of sight for collection. There's sadly no way of moving a body that size with any dignity.

Massive hugs. Your horse is very lucky to have you. x

 

[happyhorse978]

So sorry you've had to make this decision. Sending you lots of strength for next Thursday. I used Tailend jewellery for my necklace and love it (I have the heart pendant).

Definitely make sure you're out of sight for collection. There's sadly no way of moving a body that size with any dignity.

Massive hugs. Your horse is very lucky to have you. x

Thank you so very much xxx

 

[Velcrobum]

Sadly I had to have my old boy PTS at the weekend. But I have chosen to have his ashes back, I know what to expect and he will be buried in the garden in a quiet corner along with his predecessor who's ashes I also got back many years ago. We have a large garden in a rural location so not as gruesome as some might think.

happyhorse I know exactly what you are going through and you have my sympathies and a virtual hug.

 

[Rumtytum]

Thinking of you today.