Different attitudes to putting dogs to sleep

[Winters100]

I live outside of the UK (Catholic country, although not sure if this is relevant or not), and today something happened that left me speechless. A friend, who I had always thought to be a very sensible person, also a horse owner, has an aging dog who has been declining recently. I have gently mentioned several times over the last weeks about the importance of not letting them suffer, offering assistance if needed etc. This morning I visited and saw that the dog could no longer get up. He was lying on a puppy pad, and obviously suffering. I told her directly that the dog was in pain, and that she needed to do something. Her answer shocked me. She told me that she did not want to have the power of life or death over another being, but that if I wanted to take the dog to her vet she would call them and give permission for any treatment, including PTS. I felt a bit uncomfortable about it, but I did take him, and the vet agreed that he should be put to sleep, actually saying that she had recommended this on the last 2 visits but that the owner had refused. So the poor boy has gone on his way, I went back to talk to the owner, but she was almost dismissive about it, basically just said that she supposed I had got my way in the end. I guess that she will come round once she is over the immediate pain, but wow, I had never thought about PTS being a 'power over life or death', but simply the duty of a responsible owner, and the last respect that we can pay to our animals

 

[splashgirl45]

Some people can’t take responsibility for anything so this doesn’t surprise me but makes me sad that the old dog had to wait so long for help. Well done you for being that help

 

[CorvusCorax]

Almost sounds like she knew but didn't want to do it and wanted someone else to make the call/she needed permission/validation. She's not the 'bad guy', it's someone else that's done the 'dirty work' and she can sleep easy in her bed at night.

 

[Annette4]

In my view its absolutely the last respect we can pay our dear friends and I would rather make that decision a day too early than a day too late. We are very close to making that decision with our nearly 16yo terrier. It's painful but it's my responsibility to do right by them!

 

[nagblagger]

Well-done @Winters100 for putting the dogs' welfare first. She just shirked her final responsibility as an animal owner.

 

[Tiddlypom]

She completely abdicated her responsibility by hoping that the dog would hurry up and just die without her being actively involved. Now she can blame you for intervening, but thank goodness you did.

She would no longer be a friend of mine.

I have to say that I’m impressed that you found a vet in your country that would PTS. You have posted before how reluctant vets there are to PTS, or at least with horses they are.

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

Firstly well done you for stepping in and helping the poor old dog on his way over the Rainbow Bridge.

I am also in a Catholic country and a Catholic myself. A few years back I tried to help a neighbour who was over run with semi feral cats. He is a very committed and devout Catholic (unlike me!) and for months resisted my attempts to take his 25 plus cats and have them all spayed/neutered and then returned to him minus the kittens that we would find new homes for. Part paid for by me and part by a cat charity. He said it wasn't 'natural' and went against his faith and beliefs! I finally convinced him that allowing them to half starve, suffer horrendous inter breeding malformations and every cat disease known to man went against my beliefs and the beliefs of most Catholics I knew!

The stupid old gobshite kept one older 'mother' cat hidden back that we didn't know about, so angry about that. So within a few short years we were back to being overrun with diseased, malnourished and suffering cats. I gave up at that point, barely talk to him now his cruelty to them is inexcusable IMO.

 

[ycbm]

People who don't want to exercise their "power of life or death over an animal", and therefore don't recognise that a peaceful death is the last kind thing we can do for them, should not be allowed to own one.
.

 

[CorvusCorax]

Firstly well done you for stepping in and helping the poor old dog on his way over the Rainbow Bridge.

I am also in a Catholic country and a Catholic myself. A few years back I tried to help a neighbour who was over run with semi feral cats. He is a very committed and devout Catholic (unlike me!) and for months resisted my attempts to take his 25 plus cats and have them all spayed/neutered and then returned to him minus the kittens that we would find new homes for. Part paid for by me and part by a cat charity. He said it wasn't 'natural' and went against his faith and beliefs! I finally convinced him that allowing them to half starve, suffer horrendous inter breeding malformations and every cat disease known to man went against my beliefs and the beliefs of most Catholics I knew!

The stupid old gobshite kept one older 'mother' cat hidden back that we didn't know about, so angry about that. So within a few short years we were back to being overrun with diseased, malnourished and suffering cats. I gave up at that point, barely talk to him now his cruelty to them is inexcusable IMO.

And such people think they are animal lovers, sigh.....

 

[Winters100]

In my view its absolutely the last respect we can pay our dear friends and I would rather make that decision a day too early than a day too late. We are very close to making that decision with our nearly 16yo terrier. It's painful but it's my responsibility to do right by them!

So sorry that you are in this position. It is incredibly painfull, but your dog is lucky to have you to ensure that s/he does not suffer x

 

[Winters100]

She completely abdicated her responsibility by hoping that the dog would hurry up and just die without her being actively involved. Now she can blame you for intervening, but thank goodness you did.

She would no longer be a friend of mine.

I have to say that I’m impressed that you found a vet in your country that would PTS. You have posted before how reluctant vets there are to PTS, or at least with horses they are.

Yes, with horses it is very difficult, I only know this because a friend had a horse who was truly dangerous, and several vets refused to PTS. In the end she took him to a clinic in Germany, who concluded that there was a neurological problem which was not worth investigating, so he was PTS there. I think with dogs it might be difficult too if the animal is healthy, but I am not sure. To me it is absolutely bonkers that you cannot put your horse to sleep without a diagnosis, but you can send him on the meat truck to suffer a terrible end. In this case it was thankfully very straightforward, the dog was very old and clearly suffering, so it was an easy decision for the vet.

 

[Jenko109]

A neighbour of mine's elderly boxer collapsed on the grass out the front of their house. About lunch time ish.

It couldn't get up and had various health problems.

I offered to take it to the vet but they insisted the dog just needed to get back in the house. So I carried it back into the house.

They came around the next morning to tell me it had died overnight.

It should have been PTS when it was in a heap on the grass. Not left all day and night.

 

[meleeka]

People who don't want to exercise their power of life or death over an animal, and therefore don't recognise that a peaceful death is the last kind thing we can do for them, should not be allowed to own one.
.

Agreed. It could be classed as a power, but I think it’s more of a responsibility. I know someone who let their dog die, rather than save their dog suffering and the same person also wanted to let their horse “die peacefully”, rather than phone a vet. I did try to explain on that occasion that there’s no such thing as dying peacefully from poisoning. It would be a slow and painful end.

 

[Cortez]

Oh it's just pure cowardice and selfishness, IMO. I have frequently been the Angel of Death for acquaintances' pets (and horses). I'm so tired of hearing the ol' "We love Twiddles too much to do that" refrain; I could tell you stories (the wildest ones from the US)..........but I won't.

 

[Chucho]

PTS decisions are very hard. It's not just facing up to making the decision, it's making it, seeing it through, and knowing the grief that's coming afterwards. I do not support, but I do have empathy with why, people find it so difficult to make that call. Even when it's staring you in the face.

 

[Winters100]

PTS decisions are very hard. It's not just facing up to making the decision, it's making it, seeing it through, and knowing the grief that's coming afterwards. I do not support, but I do have empathy with why, people find it so difficult to make that call. Even when it's staring you in the face.

Yes, I also have empathy. On the other hand though I do agree with ycbm that, when you adopt / buy / otherwise acquire an animal as an adult, you should know that the most likely scenario is that this decision will come one day. If you cannot take these decisions then animal ownership is not for you. Sometimes the decisions are clear and easy to make, for example the last dog who I had put to sleep (my special boy) who had bone cancer, sometimes it is more difficult to decide when it is the time, because it is a general decline, some good days and some bad days. The fact remains however, that we have this responsibility to our animal friends. We have to suffer until the end, but they do not have to if they are lucky enough to have a sensible owner.

 

[Chucho]

Oh, I completely agree with you @Winters100 . I do think, though, that for many people, these decisions are just not in their usual wheelhouse and certainly not what they think about when they get an animal in the first place. Not that that excuses letting an animal suffer at all.

 

[quizzie]

I once had someone suggest to me that, before eventually summoning up the courage to take their elderly (very skinny kidney failure cat) to be PTS, they had considered "letting it loose in the forest to die a natural death"

After counting to ten to control my response I asked them what they considered a "natural" death to be, and they seemed surprised when I suggested that in the wild, death is from starvation or predation....neither option being particularly pleasant, and definitely not the nice soft drifting away that they seemed to be imagining!

 

[Winters100]

I once had someone suggest to me that, before eventually summoning up the courage to take their elderly (very skinny kidney failure cat) to be PTS, they had considered "letting it loose in the forest to die a natural death"

After counting to ten to control my response I asked them what they considered a "natural" death to be, and they seemed surprised when I suggested that in the wild, death is from starvation or predation....neither option being particularly pleasant, and definitely not the nice soft drifting away that they seemed to be imagining!

Well done for counting to ten.

 

[meleeka]

PTS decisions are very hard. It's not just facing up to making the decision, it's making it, seeing it through, and knowing the grief that's coming afterwards. I do not support, but I do have empathy with why, people find it so difficult to make that call. Even when it's staring you in the face.

I think for any true animal lover, watching them in pain or suffering and not being able to do anything about it, is way worse than making the decision to pts.

 

[MissTyc]

I think for any true animal lover, watching them in pain or suffering and not being able to do anything about it, is way worse than making the decision to pts.

100% It's the hardest cruelest thing about loving our animals but also an important responsibility, just as important as the good life that we owe them for making them exist. A good life includes the best possible death.

I am been in the position where, if I had the means, I would have put a horse down myself as my empathy for his suffering meant I wanted to end it. Thankfully the vet came quickly and was wonderful. I'd never felt that way before. I felt it again with my dog who, after fighting an unknown illness for a week took a terrible turn in the evening. I couldn't stand the thought of lifting her and taking her to the vet. I couldn't stand the thought of leaving her confused and in pain, so I found a home vet who came out the did the deed there and then on our kitchen floor with the whole family as company. She was in pain but I don't think she was afraid because she had us right there and then she went to sleep forever. Years later these memories bring tears to my eyes and yet I know I'd do it all again in a heartbeat for that is the curse of loving these animals and wanting them in my life.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

I'm another who thinks that before you take on the day-to-day responsibility for any animal, you should be sure that you feel able to make that final decision and carry it through in the best interests of the animal.
If you don't feel that you will be able to do that, leave the animal where it is.
Do the rehoming charities ask that question before handing an animal over, I wonder. And do they ensure that adopters understand that in the worst case scenario, they may be called upon to make that decision the very next day?

 

[SilverLinings]

Oh it's just pure cowardice and selfishness, IMO. I have frequently been the Angel of Death for acquaintances' pets (and horses). I'm so tired of hearing the ol' "We love Twiddles too much to do that" refrain; I could tell you stories (the wildest ones from the US)..........but I won't.

This, absolutely. Every adult who buys a dog/horse/cat/etc knows the rough life-span of the species when they acquire it (and definitely knows it won't live forever), and is aware that as with humans death might come sooner via disease or accident. Keeping a suffering animal alive and claiming you want it to die a 'natural' death is totally about the owner and is an incredibly cruel thing to do to a sentient being, whether you claim to love it or not.

I have had one horse and one dog who I've found particularly hard to PTS (it was terrible), and loosing them felt like a piece of me died. It felt like the worst thing I've ever done (and still does) but I still put them first as the decision shouldn't be about me and my selfish wish to defer the grief.

I once had someone suggest to me that, before eventually summoning up the courage to take their elderly (very skinny kidney failure cat) to be PTS, they had considered "letting it loose in the forest to die a natural death"

After counting to ten to control my response I asked them what they considered a "natural" death to be, and they seemed surprised when I suggested that in the wild, death is from starvation or predation....neither option being particularly pleasant, and definitely not the nice soft drifting away that they seemed to be imagining!

This always surprises me as there are enough nature programmes on TV that people are surely aware that a natural death isn't drifting away whilst asleep in the sunshine in a field full of daisies. Weak animals are predated upon, or collapse and suffer a lingering death. I think these sorts of people either don't want to pay to PTS, or they'd rather wash their hands of it so they aren't confronted with the responsibility or the feelings it might stir.

PTS at the right time for the animal is the painful price that we pay for the privilege of owning them. If you aren't prepared to pay that price then you shouldn't be entitled to the joy of having pets.

 

[Widgeon]

This always surprises me as there are enough nature programmes on TV that people are surely aware that a natural death isn't drifting away whilst asleep in the sunshine in a field full of daisies. Weak animals are predated upon, or collapse and suffer a lingering death. I think these sorts of people either don't want to pay to PTS, or they'd rather wash their hands of it so they aren't confronted with the responsibility or the feelings it might stir.

I think some (lots of) people are willfully blind to the realities of dying. It doesn't help that in the Western world death and dying tend to be hidden away and spoken abut in hushed tones. But that allows us to believe that it's somehow gentle. I also think that society's gradual alienation from farming and the realities of nature contribute to the growing trend to see everything "natural" as "good". Cancer is natural. Death in childbirth is natural. Neither is good.

Then of course there's the old "out of sight, out of mind" thing, that I think some "religious" people can be very guilty of - "I didn't abuse and kill the horse, so I am innocent and had no part in this messy process. I just sold it to the meat man and let him put it on the truck. I'm a good Catholic, me". This really drives me up the wall.

 

[julesjoy]

When the family cat was nearing the end of its life when I was a teenager, it definitely felt like a 'power' to have the responsibility over the life and death of that cat, and I hated it and wished someone else would have taken that responsibility off me. So I kind of know what she means. Unfortunately being an animal owner it is a responsibility we have to take, whether we like it or not.

 

[Ratface]

I'm a strong believer of the "A day too early rather than a day too late" view of animal euthanasia.
I had the devil's own job trying to get the newly-qualified veterinarian to agree to pts King Kevin Kat when the steroid injections no longer held his stomach cancer at bay. In the end she made a total botch of it and he jumped out of my hands and fell onto the floor twice. In the end she managed to do it and he died in my arms.
I made a formal written complaint to the Veterinary Hospital but received no answer other than a card with Kevin's paw print on it.
I've got my wishes for immediate euthanasia for Old Horse if I can't get there but YO and specialist equine vet are sure that he is terminally ill.
Madam Carrie Cat is heavily insured for £6,000-worth of veterinary treatment. Apart from being a bit chubby, she's in rude health and I hope she stays that way for many years to come.

 

[honetpot]

I live outside of the UK (Catholic country, although not sure if this is relevant or not), and today something happened that left me speechless. A friend, who I had always thought to be a very sensible person, also a horse owner, has an aging dog who has been declining recently. I have gently mentioned several times over the last weeks about the importance of not letting them suffer, offering assistance if needed etc. This morning I visited and saw that the dog could no longer get up. He was lying on a puppy pad, and obviously suffering. I told her directly that the dog was in pain, and that she needed to do something. Her answer shocked me. She told me that she did not want to have the power of life or death over another being, but that if I wanted to take the dog to her vet she would call them and give permission for any treatment, including PTS. I felt a bit uncomfortable about it, but I did take him, and the vet agreed that he should be put to sleep, actually saying that she had recommended this on the last 2 visits but that the owner had refused. So the poor boy has gone on his way, I went back to talk to the owner, but she was almost dismissive about it, basically just said that she supposed I had got my way in the end. I guess that she will come round once she is over the immediate pain, but wow, I had never thought about PTS being a 'power over life or death', but simply the duty of a responsible owner, and the last respect that we can pay to our animals

A big hug for you. There are a lot of people who think PTS means you do not care, when you care that the animal is in distress, and want to stop that. I have a a least two friends that leave it to the last breath, or pass the problem on, which I find unacceptable. One I have just about cut contact with, because I so fed up with her weeping because she 'lost' a horse,but passed the problem on, when it could have been PTS at home with less trauma for it.

 

[Winters100]

When the family cat was nearing the end of its life when I was a teenager, it definitely felt like a 'power' to have the responsibility over the life and death of that cat, and I hated it and wished someone else would have taken that responsibility off me. So I kind of know what she means. Unfortunately being an animal owner it is a responsibility we have to take, whether we like it or not.

I am sorry that you were in this position. It is exactly why I have never 'discussed' putting any of our animals to sleep with our children, rather 'informed' them that we had made a decision and explained why, and what would happen. This is a hard decision for adults, children should not be expected to take this responsibility.

 

[Birker2020]

I knew someone I worked with who thought it wasn't right to pts an animal and instead they should die a natural death even if they were suffering. She wasn't religious just stupid.

I also know a bloke whose wife found their elderly cat on the patio lying in the cold and rain having fallen out of the upstairs window. I was told she left it crying in pain till her hubby got home to take it to the vet because she was 'funny and squeamish' about picking it up and couldn't bring herslef to do so.

People like that really shouldn't own pets.

 

[shortstuff99]

My Aunt has lived for a number of years in Turkey and you're not allowed to PTS animals there as it is Gods will whether they live or die and not up to humans to decide. If you find the right vet and pay under the table you can get it done but have to be careful.