Fransurrey
Well-Known Member
There's an entire chapter in The Pleasurable Kingdom by Jonathan Balcombe about sex and gay animals. It's more common than you think!
Do you ever invent things about your horse?
- Thread starter ArklePig
- Start date
Olly's crew
Well-Known Member
Poppet wears floral dresses, likes Terry Wogan and is mainly found lurking at the Vicar's garden parties, eating all the cucumber sandwiches. Lottie models herself on Britney Spears, and likes baby animals and drinking prosecco with granola bars.
WaterySun852
Well-Known Member
I don't hate her but I can so imagine my shetland with your accent. She has all the big horses (15.2 - 17.2hh) running scared.
She's always reminded me of Peggy Mitchell in personality, tiny but terrifyingly fierce. I got her as 5yo from a lady in the Sperrins but Fatty is definitely more townie in personality I reckon
Sealine
Well-Known Member
Many years ago I had a beautiful dun mare who was very sweet but not the brightest and loved the boys when she was in season. Her nickname was 'bimbo' and in my head she was a stereotypical supermodel and called everyone 'daaarling'.
I now have a chunky 16.1 cob cross gelding who is a stereotypical bloke. He loves his food, likes a fun day out or just chilling with his mates, hates dancing aka dressage. He may be a bit rough and ready on the outside but he scrubs up well, he's kind, popular, reliable, hard working and tries his best to please. I'd marry him if I could
I now have a chunky 16.1 cob cross gelding who is a stereotypical bloke. He loves his food, likes a fun day out or just chilling with his mates, hates dancing aka dressage. He may be a bit rough and ready on the outside but he scrubs up well, he's kind, popular, reliable, hard working and tries his best to please. I'd marry him if I could
Cob Life
Well-Known Member
My mare would be the one in school who no one approaches because they think she’s really mean but is actually sweet and loyal once you get to know her, and everyone assumes she’s stupid but she actually has straight As even if she’s kicked out of class a lot for misbehaving.
My cob would just be like Smithy from gavin and Stacy
My cob would just be like Smithy from gavin and Stacy
Rowreach
👀
Mine's from Athlone (the Roscommon side).
Griffin
Well-Known Member
My mare is Irish, so she has an Irish accent in my head (a nice soft one like Dervla Kirwan). I call her the Irish Princess because despite being of unknown parentage, she acts like she is some sort of high maintenance competition horse (to be fair, she is very talented at dressage)!
My old gelding was such a gentleman, I always imagined that he sounded like Ralph Fiennes.
My old gelding was such a gentleman, I always imagined that he sounded like Ralph Fiennes.
Bellaboo18
Well-Known Member
Yes mine have voices and I often do both parts of the conversation ?
The shetland, is on older man who likes the simple pleasures in life. He'd eat meat and two veg, say things like 'what's the world coming to' and 'it wasn't like that in my day'. He'd definitely smack my mares bum as he passed probably calling her sweet cheeks.
My beautiful mare is French so says le in front of everything due to my poor language skills. She's disappointed she's ended up with an older Scottish man when really she was hoping for a tall, well bred, French man so does look at him in disgust. She likes the finer things in life and talks about her time at the Chateaux but is happy with her lot.
Nice to see we're all absolutely bonkers ?
The shetland, is on older man who likes the simple pleasures in life. He'd eat meat and two veg, say things like 'what's the world coming to' and 'it wasn't like that in my day'. He'd definitely smack my mares bum as he passed probably calling her sweet cheeks.
My beautiful mare is French so says le in front of everything due to my poor language skills. She's disappointed she's ended up with an older Scottish man when really she was hoping for a tall, well bred, French man so does look at him in disgust. She likes the finer things in life and talks about her time at the Chateaux but is happy with her lot.
Nice to see we're all absolutely bonkers ?
milliepops
Wears headscarf aggressively
Kira has a squawky indignant voice. She's hilarious. Frank has a dopey voice. Millie is condescending. Salty is an earth mother. Hera is a smartarse brat chatting back to her elders innit
Goldenstar
Well-Known Member
Oh yes all of ours have voices .
Sky is Irish middle class and has had an easy life he is in charge of everything and has responsibility for nothing hes a snitch always telling me what’s gone on while I was in the house with embellishments .
Hero is also Irish but very simple but has a good heart he put a positive spin on everything eg Sky tore my rug but it was because he thought I was too hot .
Blue has a Scottish accent He's rather anxious .
Frank talks like Nigel Farage he quite obnoxious but people like him more than they should .He knows he’s protected by his special friend ship with me .
We are of course completely barking here .
Sky is Irish middle class and has had an easy life he is in charge of everything and has responsibility for nothing hes a snitch always telling me what’s gone on while I was in the house with embellishments .
Hero is also Irish but very simple but has a good heart he put a positive spin on everything eg Sky tore my rug but it was because he thought I was too hot .
Blue has a Scottish accent He's rather anxious .
Frank talks like Nigel Farage he quite obnoxious but people like him more than they should .He knows he’s protected by his special friend ship with me .
We are of course completely barking here .
SatansLittleHelper
Well-Known Member
I forgot about ShitPig..!!!
ShitPig...actually a Mini Shitland, rising 11, Piebald, arsehole in the first degree, looks cute.
"Human" ShitPig is that horrible little scruffy shit of a kid that bullies the other kids despite being half their size but looks angelic so noone ever calls him out on it "poor little chap, I bet the big ones started it, he'sonly defendinghimself". Either involved in the playground scrap or on the sidelines yelling "fight, fight, fight".
ShitPig...actually a Mini Shitland, rising 11, Piebald, arsehole in the first degree, looks cute.
"Human" ShitPig is that horrible little scruffy shit of a kid that bullies the other kids despite being half their size but looks angelic so noone ever calls him out on it "poor little chap, I bet the big ones started it, he'sonly defendinghimself". Either involved in the playground scrap or on the sidelines yelling "fight, fight, fight".
Dave's Mam
Well-Known Member
I'm from Belfast. Despite being born in the very South of England, he has a Belfast accent.
In the heights of his Dramatic moments he is literally "Oh Mammy would you look there at that thing it wasn't there yesterday & now we might all be doomed sure Jimmy up the road said it was the end of the world last Tuesday."
In the heights of his Dramatic moments he is literally "Oh Mammy would you look there at that thing it wasn't there yesterday & now we might all be doomed sure Jimmy up the road said it was the end of the world last Tuesday."
ArklePig
Well-Known Member
Not being funny, but my name is Dearbhla. Which is how Dervla is spelled non anglicised. Think I might have been born to voice your mare in the movie of her life? However I suck at dressage.
Griffin
Well-Known Member
No way! I think Dearbhla is such a lovely name. You could be the voice of my mare because if it's a movie, it won't matter if you suck at dressage (I am not great myself).
Caol Ila
Well-Known Member
Hermosa sounds like a surly teenager from a rough part of Glasgow's South Side, where teen pregnancy rates are high, because she is (yes, on paper, she's a Spanish horse, but we all know she's from Barrhead). Think April from "Parks and Rec," but with a Weegie accent. Currently doesn't know what to do with her life now that she's not a mom anymore but isn't sure she wants to go back to school. I'm in the process of explaining that being pregnant and barefoot is not an option.
Foinavon sounds like a guy from Aberdeenshire. Never finished high school, did a lot of drugs, then studied to get whatever the British equivalent of a GED is while his mates continued doing lots of drugs. He hung out with a rough crowd when he was young, so he's cautious around (horse) people, but he's learning the language and finding his way around these (human) people.They are okay so long as they don't ask anything that's too baffling. He doesn't understand the point of going in aimless circles, but he likes hiking on trails. He has also realized that five-star hotel accomodation with room service isn't a bad deal.
Of course, I cannot fake these accents, so when I do their voices, they sound American.
I'm in the process of explaining that being pregnant and barefoot is not an option.Foinavon sounds like a guy from Aberdeenshire. Never finished high school, did a lot of drugs, then studied to get whatever the British equivalent of a GED is while his mates continued doing lots of drugs. He hung out with a rough crowd when he was young, so he's cautious around (horse) people, but he's learning the language and finding his way around these (human) people.They are okay so long as they don't ask anything that's too baffling. He doesn't understand the point of going in aimless circles, but he likes hiking on trails. He has also realized that five-star hotel accomodation with room service isn't a bad deal.
Of course, I cannot fake these accents, so when I do their voices, they sound American.
Peglo
Well-Known Member
my cousins mare mounted my new girl frequently when she was in season. ? proper squeals and everything! I assumed it was just hormones and the excitement of a new pony but maybe she is gay! Now I think of it I don’t ever recall the tiny gelding in the field mounting cousins pony. ?
Tali flirts with anything and everything, probably her own reflection if she looked in the mirror. ?
ETA Peggy is from Germany so I occasionally attempt to chat to her in German. She has a deep voice and is very blunt.
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Jellymoon
Well-Known Member
Blimey, I started reading this thread not knowing quite what to expect, but this is hilarious! You lot are absolutely nuts!
I have never made up scenarios or voices for the horses, clearly I have no imagination!!
However, when the kids were little, I used to make up voices for the dogs as it made them howl with laughterOne Labrador had a German accent (no idea why) and the other a silly high pitched voice like that character in Four Weddings who ends up marrying the bald chap. They used to scream ‘do the doggy voices mummy’ until
It got exhausting and I knocked it on the head.
I’m going to do them again this morning though, as a special surprise…hehehe!
I have never made up scenarios or voices for the horses, clearly I have no imagination!!
However, when the kids were little, I used to make up voices for the dogs as it made them howl with laughterOne Labrador had a German accent (no idea why) and the other a silly high pitched voice like that character in Four Weddings who ends up marrying the bald chap. They used to scream ‘do the doggy voices mummy’ until
It got exhausting and I knocked it on the head.
I’m going to do them again this morning though, as a special surprise…hehehe!
ArklePig
Well-Known Member
We're all mad here @Jellymoon. I hope your kids enjoyed their surprise!
littleshetland
Well-Known Member
My PRE is aka 'Señor Snappy Snaps' as he's constantly trying to bite lumps out of me (no, he doesn't have ulcers or any other type of equine ailment) He does this I think because he pines constantly for the Costa del Sol and cannot believe he's ended up in a field in the rain sodden and very windy south west of Pudding Island (aka england)....he'd really had his hopes set on Majorca. Luckily, he likes to work, this seems to be the only thing that cheers him up, that and having his very long mane brushed. He's incredibly vain, and cannot believe he has to hang out in the rain sodden field with a short stout shetland pony who has absolutely no sense of style, cannot speak spanish and who probably swears at him in a scottish accent. On a good day, when he has accepted his fate lies on this sceptred isle where the weathers shite and everyone drives on the wrong side of the road, he's actually adorable and will allow me to administer cuddles and kisses. On a bad day, I have to dodge the teeth and threaten him with being turned into tapas....as if I would!