Does anyone else feel 'stuck' with their horse?

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Nels

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After years of loaning ponies and horses I finally got the chance to purchase my own horse 3 years ago. He was a decent breed and I was so excited at the opportunity to finally have a horse I could call my own with the hope of competing. Unfortunately, all that followed has been 3 years of injury and a step backwards in my riding. I love him to pieces and have battled through certain 'issues' associated with the breed (Trakehner!) to end up with a very loving, calm young horse. However, i don't think he is ever going to be sound enough to compete (and believe me I have spent a fortune on vets and physios etc) and after 3 years of watching everyone else out there having fun, i feel i am starting to resent him. I can't afford to keep 2 horses and don't really want to sell him for the fear of the new owners 'breaking' him further or undoing all of my hard work on the ground.

So I am stuck. Only other thought is to retire him so he can be happy - but very place I have found is either too expensive or full.

I feel so bad resenting him - my friends all say PTS because he has never been much good at being ridden. But i just can't do that - not when he looks so healthy and stunning! If he had given me years of riding/competing I would quite happily hang my boots up and retire him myself. But i am only in my 20s and selfishly I really, really miss riding.

Anyway, i wondered if anyone else had been in a situation like this and what you did? Would anyone want to buy that sort of horse as a hack? Especially when he still has lameness issues (but vets advise hacking is fine)?
 
I'm in a very similar situation myself. I have a wonderful, beautiful horse - who also has some lameness issues that need careful management.

I don't resent him - how could I?? But would love to find him a companion/hacking home.
 
I can't ride as much or do as much as I want to with my old boy and I don't want to get another horse just yet.

I do feel a bit green when I see others going out and having a ball but I don't feel "stuck". I suppose I am just grateful for being able to have my horses and enjoy them for what they are.

How old is your horse? If there are lamness issues and its not going to get better then perhaps your friends are right. Perhaps though your horse just needs a bit more time to properly heal before they can do the things that you would like to?
 
Hiya i think i know u - your posts sound familiar i wont put your name incase u dont want me to is it H? Anyway its Lucy i thought id reply because i feel for where you are with him - i was in the same boat as you with scrumps as u know and she has turned out (after many years) to now be a lovely riding horse and im so glad i persisted with her though i felt like jacking it in so often. Im lucky that i could afford another so over the last few years i havent felt so reliant on her going well and relieving that pressure from her i think has been the answer. If you really cant afford another why not half share another -your a lovely rider and anyone would be grateful to have you as a sharer. Your ability far outweighs your horses at the mo and i cant imagine you will ever feel satisfied with him though i totally disagree with him being pts (that just my opinion though) I hope this is the person i think it is if not soo sorry! x
 
It' a tough one :(

Most of us, myself included, become so emotionally attached that no matter what we started with horse wise we tend to adjust our riding/competing to how it suits our four legged friends as they age or get injured.

I used to love competing but like you but and had to resign myself to no jumping when he got spavins and now he is retired no riding at all :(

I however decided that I would be happy not to ride in order to give my horse a happy retirement but get to ride friends horses so keeps me sane.

As your horse can still be ridden can you not put him on loan to someone who does not wish to compete? That way it would free you up finacially to be able to buy or loan a horse that you can compete with. You also still have a final say if your boy goes down hill.

Horses are a very expensive thing to do if your not getting anything out of it.
 
amymay said:
I'm in a very similar situation myself. I have a wonderful, beautiful horse - who also has some lameness issues that need careful management.

I don't resent him - how could I?? But would love to find him a companion/hacking home.
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I love my boy to pieces so feel very frustrated that I am starting to resent him :( Just feel I have hit a brick wall and am running out of energy for the whole situation...

I wish you luck in finding him that home. Let me know if they want 2 horses!
 
I feel for you as I recognise that feeling. My youngster was lame for months and I started to resent him for all the work I was trying to do to get him sound, when all he could do was mess around and make himself worse. It was a total irrashional thought and one I felt guilty about afterwards, but I think its just a way to channel our fears and emotions.

Unfortunately, we arent all blessed with land and the ability to retire horses. Its the fear most mere mortals have about their future oldies or if in your circumstance. Their are great loan homes out there, I found the most amazing person who looked after my first horse in his later years in return for light hacking. I could still go and see him as much as i liked and very quickly i saw him look at her in the same loving way he did with me, I was greatful for that as i knew he was happy.
 
Farma said:
Hiya i think i know u - your posts sound familiar i wont put your name incase u dont want me to is it H? Anyway its Lucy i thought id reply because i feel for where you are with him - i was in the same boat as you with scrumps as u know and she has turned out (after many years) to now be a lovely riding horse and im so glad i persisted with her though i felt like jacking it in so often. Im lucky that i could afford another so over the last few years i havent felt so reliant on her going well and relieving that pressure from her i think has been the answer. If you really cant afford another why not half share another -your a lovely rider and anyone would be grateful to have you as a sharer. Your ability far outweighs your horses at the mo and i cant imagine you will ever feel satisfied with him though i totally disagree with him being pts (that just my opinion though) I hope this is the person i think it is if not soo sorry! x
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Hey you, yep you guessed right! Thanks for the advice and sorry for the moan - just really feel like quitting horses altogether right now :( Nothing ever gets better and I am just so sick of people's faces when they ask if my boy is finally doing ok and I just have to say no! If I get told I have the patience of a saint one more time.....!
Have thought about part-loaning again but to me there is nothing to look forward to - I just end up getting attached to other people's horses and getting them out there winning and going well with the thought in the back of mind all the time that it could all be taken away any second/those horses are just not mine :( That is selfish as well I know. Not sure I have to time to go to 2 yards with my job either :(
I think my only option is to look for a home for the nag as a companion. Just need to somehow find the strength to actually let him go!
Hope your two are well x
 
i do feel yr pain:)
i have had my lovely mare for many yrs now & we were both quite happy hacking, doing the odd sponsored ride & a teeny bit of xc BUT a year ago I started doing a bit of very low level dressage [RC prelim] & discovered that I really liked it - however my 20yr old mildly arthitic mare struggles a bit - like you I cannot afford a 2nd horse so am currently thinking through 2 pos options -either to put her out on a very local loan - she is very happy to hack all day & find a loan horse for me - altho that feels very disloyal:( or to try & find me a p/time share horse with a particular interest/strength in schooling to allow me to improve in dressage.
Could you look at a pos share to allow you to compete whilst keeping yr boy or is he sound enough too go out as a hack only loan - there are LOTS of people looking for safe hacking horses & many hacking horses whose workload is very light - perhaps 3/4 hrs of riding per week
:)
 
If you feel that strongly then you should so get him advertised -you will be so suprised at the number of homes out there that will be more than happy to just do hacking and have a companion - if your not in a hurry just dont send him anywhere your not totally happy with - u so deserve a nice horse and to be out doing well so be strong and although it will be hard initially it will be so worth it - i really struggled whether to buy gus or not and although its been hard financially to have 2 and i know i wont have 2 forever its the best thing i ever did.
 
I really sympathise with you.
I got my first horse last year after a break. I only had him for 1-2 months and he went lame.
He had a fortune spent on him with vets and physio, 6 months box rest. I finally had a day to ride him after lunging him for 2 months, by the 3rd time I rode him he was hopping lame again. I do see how you can resent him a bit, as you have't had happy years of competing like you wanted to. I felt the same.
He got turned away and put on bute which the vet didn't think would work on his injury, and advised to PTS.
In the mean time I bought a new horse, which I know class as my first horse as I have ridden him more than for a month! I had my new horse 1 week and the other came sound.
So there may be hope yet if that helps? Maybe see if you can find him a loan home as a companion, and give him a year turned away?
My old horse is now on loan to a lovely home, as I can't afford to keep two at livery, and staying sound.
After all the treatments I feel now all he needed was turning out for 6 months for rest.
 
Hey - I know exactly how you feel.

I have a lovely Connie and an ex-racehorse. Last yr I bought a new forest to do novice RC stuff with. 3 horses I can cope with fine. The plan was to find the Connie a loan home (he's done quite a bit with me and now wants a quieter life though he's only 14).

I then found out one of my very close friends had passed away and I inherited 2 ponies - a 15hh arab and a 2 yr old Dartmoor. Now I was up to 5 horses and I only have 2 acres of clay!!! That was last Dec - I had 5 horses on vitually no land over the whole of the nasty Winter.

I love them all and can't bear to see them go to homes that I'm not 100% happy with but I'm spending so much time looking after them etc that I'm not doing what I want to be doing.

The long term plan was to get myself a 'proper' horse this summer as I really want to start doing a bit more competing but there's no way that's an option.

Have advertised the Connie for loan / share - have had very few replies, advertised the New Forest for sale - no replies, and also the ex-racehorse as a light hack / companion - no replies.

The Arab is on loan and is doing very well but I still have 4 of them!!! Can't really advertise the Dartmoor yet as he's only just turned 2 yrs.

Nightmare and very expensive! But I love them all - maybe I'm just being too picky about new homes????

It's not that I resent them as such but having the ones I've got means I can't get out there and start eventing . . . . .

Very difficult situation!
 
I am looking for a hacking horse if anybody has one for long term loan as my warmblood is out of work due to injury...please pm me if you have something suitable...I dont ride that much maybe 3-4 days a week for an hour hacking...thanks
 
Nels said:
After years of loaning ponies and horses I finally got the chance to purchase my own horse 3 years ago. He was a decent breed and I was so excited at the opportunity to finally have a horse I could call my own with the hope of competing. Unfortunately, all that followed has been 3 years of injury and a step backwards in my riding. I love him to pieces and have battled through certain 'issues' associated with the breed (Trakehner!) to end up with a very loving, calm young horse. However, i don't think he is ever going to be sound enough to compete (and believe me I have spent a fortune on vets and physios etc) and after 3 years of watching everyone else out there having fun, i feel i am starting to resent him. I can't afford to keep 2 horses and don't really want to sell him for the fear of the new owners 'breaking' him further or undoing all of my hard work on the ground.

So I am stuck. Only other thought is to retire him so he can be happy - but very place I have found is either too expensive or full.

I feel so bad resenting him - my friends all say PTS because he has never been much good at being ridden. But i just can't do that - not when he looks so healthy and stunning! If he had given me years of riding/competing I would quite happily hang my boots up and retire him myself. But i am only in my 20s and selfishly I really, really miss riding.

Anyway, i wondered if anyone else had been in a situation like this and what you did? Would anyone want to buy that sort of horse as a hack? Especially when he still has lameness issues (but vets advise hacking is fine)?
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Well i had a similar situation - I had a lovely IDxTb, had her for 3.5 yrs - she had hock spavins and i had to be careful with regards to schooling and dressage. She then developed navicular and I kept her sound, with remedial farriery, no work on hard ground, no trotting on roads, no work on rutty ground, no fun rides, and my instructor is very aware of her issues and chooses exercises to help keep her supple and not strain her too much. we managed to still compete at perlim level for 10 months, she then went unlevel again, I had further x rays and the navicular was getting worse. I then spoke to vet frankly and he said to keep her sound just hacking. So I had a choice. I keep my horse that i love to bits, but only hack. Or loan her or sell her - now I felt I couldnt ask a heap of money for her because of the navicular even though the most bombproof horse and best confidence giver out there. But then didnt want to sell her cheap. In case of someone not genuine who bought to sell on, Also didnt want to loan her in case they gave her back lame. In the end the situation sorted itself, Another livery on my yard wanted a safe bombproof for OH to learn to ride and hack out on. They bought her off me, I have first refusal should they ever need to sell but have assured me that she will be with them till the end of her days. They know all her history, they have her xrays and they are smitten with her. I am happy, she is well loved, well cared for and will be forever, It also meant i could go buy something that was physically able to do what i wanted - dressage. So I now have my new girl, Aoife (its pronounced ee-fa) ISH and had her 5 weeks now and we are getting along like a house on fire.

So OP I would say you need to find a lovely hacking home with someone who understands the issues at hand and will only keep as a happy hacker. Good luck
 
Difficult one and yes I feel exactly where you are coming from.

Having bought a horse with fantastic potential as a 3 year old my intention was he was going to be my last competition horse (Dressage) and I wanted to over time get him competing through the levels with a goal of making it into the Z level classes over time, as he progressed and matured.

All that was put paid to when he injured himself in a casting accident when he was off being backed, the prognosis was he would never make a competition horse, in fact my very straight talking vet said if I really wanted to compete at anything higher than walk and trot (if I was lucky) to have this horse shot and spend the insurance money on another one.

Of course by now I had spent months nursing him and getting him better so this was a no go area I was also concerned that Selling him on could lead him to end up in a home where someone would push him too far and injure him further, and companion horse was not in the mix for the same reason.

Now I am very competitive and love any form of competition so I needed to find something that both horse and I could do together competition wise i.e. something he could manage that was not going to bore me to death.....

After a strange encounter at a show (long and boring story) I was introduced to Jan who is a Western Trainer and Rider and after bending his ear about "love my horse but love competing and basically he is only up to very basic work and meh" he suggested that how about me and my lad learnt a whole new discipline where both of us were rank beginners.

Long story short Nevada has been in training with Jan since March and is now a fully backed, and fully converted western horse (and loving it and is showing some real talent) and me the old dressge Diva is now learning a complete new set of skills and is loving it but more importantly finding it hard and stimulating. We should be competition ready for next season and Jan sees no reason why we should not be able to climb our way up the ranks....looking at doing trail & Western horsemanship.

For me thinking out of the box worked (and I know it will not work for everyone) and I have managed to turn the situation around to one that works for the horse and also for me.

Thanks to that chance meeting it was no longer a "problem" but case of "ok life has handed me lemons....best make lemonade"

Nevada Who should have been a Dressage Diva but Makes a Pretty good Cowboy Horse
picture.php
 
kezimac said:
Well i had a similar situation - I had a lovely IDxTb, had her for 3.5 yrs - she had hock spavins and i had to be careful with regards to schooling and dressage. She then developed navicular and I kept her sound, with remedial farriery, no work on hard ground, no trotting on roads, no work on rutty ground, no fun rides, and my instructor is very aware of her issues and chooses exercises to help keep her supple and not strain her too much. we managed to still compete at perlim level for 10 months, she then went unlevel again, I had further x rays and the navicular was getting worse. I then spoke to vet frankly and he said to keep her sound just hacking. So I had a choice. I keep my horse that i love to bits, but only hack. Or loan her or sell her - now I felt I couldnt ask a heap of money for her because of the navicular even though the most bombproof horse and best confidence giver out there. But then didnt want to sell her cheap. In case of someone not genuine who bought to sell on, Also didnt want to loan her in case they gave her back lame. In the end the situation sorted itself, Another livery on my yard wanted a safe bombproof for OH to learn to ride and hack out on. They bought her off me, I have first refusal should they ever need to sell but have assured me that she will be with them till the end of her days. They know all her history, they have her xrays and they are smitten with her. I am happy, she is well loved, well cared for and will be forever, It also meant i could go buy something that was physically able to do what i wanted - dressage. So I now have my new girl, Aoife (its pronounced ee-fa) ISH and had her 5 weeks now and we are getting along like a house on fire.

So OP I would say you need to find a lovely hacking home with someone who understands the issues at hand and will only keep as a happy hacker. Good luck
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That is a fantastic story - I hope I can find my boy a home as nice as that :) I wish you all the best with your new horse.
I really think it would be easier if my boy was an old plod who could teach a novice, but i hope an experienced rider who wants something a bit lively and fun may take him on.... Fingers crossed!
 
Chavhorse said:
Difficult one and yes I feel exactly where you are coming from.

Having bought a horse with fantastic potential as a 3 year old my intention was he was going to be my last competition horse (Dressage) and I wanted to over time get him competing through the levels with a goal of making it into the Z level classes over time, as he progressed and matured.

All that was put paid to when he injured himself in a casting accident when he was off being backed, the prognosis was he would never make a competition horse, in fact my very straight talking vet said if I really wanted to compete at anything higher than walk and trot (if I was lucky) to have this horse shot and spend the insurance money on another one.

Of course by now I had spent months nursing him and getting him better so this was a no go area I was also concerned that Selling him on could lead him to end up in a home where someone would push him too far and injure him further, and companion horse was not in the mix for the same reason.

Now I am very competitive and love any form of competition so I needed to find something that both horse and I could do together competition wise i.e. something he could manage that was not going to bore me to death.....

After a strange encounter at a show (long and boring story) I was introduced to Jan who is a Western Trainer and Rider and after bending his ear about "love my horse but love competing and basically he is only up to very basic work and meh" he suggested that how about me and my lad learnt a whole new discipline where both of us were rank beginners.

Long story short Nevada has been in training with Jan since March and is now a fully backed, and fully converted western horse (and loving it and is showing some real talent) and me the old dressge Diva is now learning a complete new set of skills and is loving it but more importantly finding it hard and stimulating. We should be competition ready for next season and Jan sees no reason why we should not be able to climb our way up the ranks....looking at doing trail & Western horsemanship.

For me thinking out of the box worked (and I know it will not work for everyone) and I have managed to turn the situation around to one that works for the horse and also for me.

Thanks to that chance meeting it was no longer a "problem" but case of "ok life has handed me lemons....best make lemonade"

Nevada Who should have been a Dressage Diva but Makes a Pretty good Cowboy Horse
picture.php
Click to expand...

WOW! I will try having a think outside the box because my boy is so keen to have a job to do....his body just lets him down!
 
Farma said:
If you feel that strongly then you should so get him advertised -you will be so suprised at the number of homes out there that will be more than happy to just do hacking and have a companion - if your not in a hurry just dont send him anywhere your not totally happy with - u so deserve a nice horse and to be out doing well so be strong and although it will be hard initially it will be so worth it - i really struggled whether to buy gus or not and although its been hard financially to have 2 and i know i wont have 2 forever its the best thing i ever did.
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Thanks hun xx
 
Nels - You have hit the nail on the head "needing a job to do" Vardi just needed something that he could do that pushed him a bit and allowed him to use his brain, but allowed him to slowly work his strength up. It has been a slow process of 3 steps forward, too much, 2 steps back, back to where we were on then on again

.....he is an odd one in that you work him and it is like "nope, don't get it, nope" and this can go on and on for session after session as he works away with an almost concentration frown on his head then suddenly it is like a lightbulb goes on and he is suddenly all "oooo I can do this" and in all honesty once he has it it is there 100% and on you go to the next thing.

Dany - thanks I am just glad that we found a niche for him as he would not have made a good 100 % Happy Hacker too much thinking going on in that head of his and he loves and thrives on learing things. I was just very lucky I ran into the right person at the right time or else this would in all probability been my post.


Nels good luck with whatever you decide to do....just trust your gut I have found it is normally right.
 
All I will say is if you want to compte, don't waste your youth on a horse that cannot do the job. Get out competing while you can, 'cause you might not have the nerve for it in when you get to my age!
 
Oh, but perhaps the answer is in your own post, you loaned ponies for years, why not put him out on loan? If you are very careful there is no reason why things shouldn't work out. Belt and braces mind.

It brings a tear to my eye when people say PTS because their horses are no longer doing what they want (I know you didn't say this, your friends did). Its my opinion, and this isn't aimed at anyone, we owe it to our horses to love them and ensure they have a happy and fulfilling life, whether that is being kept, loaned or sold. They can't choose themselves and it is up to us to try to ensure they are safe, loved and will be looked after.

I really hope you find a solution and go on to find a suitable horse that will fulfil your dreams.

Good luck x
 
How about looking for a part loaner for him or a full loan home.

I have a 16yr old TB who for various reasons I can't really compete on - he is now just a very happy hacker.

I initially looked for a loaneer for him, so I had some spare money to part loan another horse myself. I found the perfect loaner for him, who just enjoys hacking and the odd bit of schooling, and Over a year later, she now more or less full loans him and has become a good friend of mine. She is amazing - we have my horse on full livery, and while I still pay a little bit of his livery plus insurance / vets, she pays for everything else and looks after him as if he was her own. She loves him to bits and he adores her - they are a perfect partnership!!

The pony I had on part loan is now on full loan to me and we are out competing regularly and having a great time.

There are options, and like people have said, if you want to get out and compete, now is the time to do it! Life is far too short for regrets. x
 
Your horse sounds just lovely and I think he could give someone some real pleasure if you looked for a suitable loan/share for him. After 6 months of looking I have loaned me horse to someone and I just adore seeing them having fun. I still pay the insurance and a few minor bills just to make sure I have a legitimate interest!!

Also, don't dismiss loaning a horse yourself if you don't want the ultimate responsibility of two horses. You sound great and I think if you mention to your farrier, instructors, etc what you are looking for you may be suprised what turns up if you give it time .. and there are some truly lovely people out there who just want what is best for their horse but for various reasons don't want to ride and are very flexible in their attitude. You never know until you look.

Final thought, are there any point to point stables near to you? They are always looking for competent riders to help exercise and that is a lot of fun!!
 
Nels, life's too short. You should be having fun competing if that's what you want to do. You have done your best for your horse and clearly are still doing so, but if he isn't up to the job you want him to do, then you need to find him a suitable partner, either loaning or selling.
Loaning is a good route if you want to keep control over his future, if this is a possibility for you.
There are plenty people - me for one - who are content to enjoy hacking and have no desire to compete who would love a nice horse like yours. Often people assume that a hacking home just wants a steady, ploddy type but this is certainly not always the case at all.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do. I do hope you find a resolution to suit both you and your horse.
 
have two ponies
i cant ride either
matrix is difficult,outgrown,12hh, dodgy back, arthritic hocks, delicate tendon and effectivly retired, maybe small lead rein potters in future.
cloud is too much for me to handle ridden wise, has navicular and damaged her tendon she will probably be retired too :( cloud is 9 and matrix is 10 :
i have taken a share in a fab pony who is just right for me. cloud is on 2 months boxrest and then turned out for the winter, which is much easier on the pocket and should give her time to heal. this means i can focus on my share pony. and then try and find her a companion/light hacking, although with navicular that might be hard!
and i will feel awful cos i love her so much :( but she isnt the right pony for me and its not fair on her either,
after the waffle :o what i mean is focusing on a new horse, whilst keeping your one might work for you, like me :)
with you, you want to compete, and i would loan out your pony to a hacking home :)
i hope you sort it out xx
and actualllly this has given me some good advice, so thanks :)
 
Why dont you try long term loan or LWVTB? He sounds like he could still have a job and if he is happy and relatively healthy(apart from lameness issues) it would be worth it. You can vet the people before he goes anywhere and include a clause that you can take him back if you feel he isnt being looked after. Lots of people want sane happy hackers these days. Best of luck with your boy xx
 
I was in a similar situation, i have a 5 year old coloured 16.2hh TBxIrish whom i love dearly that i bought from a dealer to help as he was in a sorry state. I had him as a three year old and he developed chronic uveitis from an eye trauma that occured with his previous owners. After months of trying to treat it with no success and lots of heartache i had to make the hard decision of having it removed. I felt terrible for him but with advice from the vets i knew it was for the best.
He took to having one eye like a duck to water, he was a different horse, full of life, playing in the field and no longer in any pain :)
I decided to start backing him. 3 months later he broke his jaw, i was devastated he had come so far in learning to trust me with one eye and now he was in hospital having major surgery.
It was a massive set back and i was totally gutted not for me but for him. In his 4 short years he had been through so much.
3 months on the vet gave the all clear for him to be bitted. I started at square one with backing him again and he was fab.
Then last winter i noticed small lumps on his only eye....the vet came out and he had sarcoids on his top lid, a few weeks later they developed on his lower lid...that was the final straw i couldn't take much more, i hated having to ring the vet for fear of bad news.
I have since treated his sarcoids not very successfully but one had recently come up where his girth goes :( only tiny but i am gutted! everytime we get somewhere with our training something comes up....BUT after all that and after all the vets bills i am not ready to give up on him....the trust he has shown in me makes me realise i could never be without him. when im onboard i feel so privileged to be riding such a talented horse (clears a 5 bar gate in his field no prob hehehe)
I am currently having lessons and i WILL one day take him to a show and do a small clear round on him....never push him beyond in capabilities...and never give up on him as he has never given up on himself
I LOVE MY GILBERT!!!
 
Thanks everyone for your similar stories and replies - I have a few things to think about now and will let you know how it goes xx
 
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