Family/friends wanting to ride my horse

[Rosa666]

I just want your opinion to see if I’m being over the top or not…
All summer I’ve been inundated with people wanting to ride my horse. I think if I had of said yes to everyone , literally every weekend would have been filled up with people riding my horse.
One friend even asked if he could drop his daughter to me for the morning to do horse stuff! Er no thank you!
I’m lucky that I keep my horse at home, but every time we have a bbq someone guaranteed will ask if they can see the horses (fine) but then that leads to can we ride or can my kid ride? Er no! I got up early did all my horse stuff early so I could enjoy my day at bbq. I’d have to get changed and get dirty to give a pony ride that I don’t want to put my horse through when I want to be relaxing and enjoying myself at the bbq!
Ive got family coming round tomorrow and just had a message from a family member asking if their daughter can do horse stuff tomorrow. (He is obviously trying a different tactic rather then kid asking me on day) their kid has started riding and is now cantering on her own, but still I just don’t want to do it! Not sure I can get out of this one though. But then all the kids are going to want a go and it goes on and on.
Am I being unreasonable???

 

[Glitterandrainbows]

Say the horse is suffering season allergies honestly it’s not worth it you end up been the child care I’ve fallen for this before and ended up been holiday childcare ?

 

[Cragrat]

Your're not being unreasonable at all. You spend a lot of time and money on your horse.

Also you're not insured. That's not a get out excuse - it's fact. However a good a friend or close a family member, if someithing happens, they WiLL be contacted by ambulance chasers

 

[Rosa666]

Thank you both, I’ve replied saying she can groom and poo pick! But u fortunately due to heat wave I haven’t been riding regularly so she’s be too fresh/unpredictable for their 9 year old daughter! So hopefully that goes down ok. Hopefully if I make her pick up enough poo she won’t want to ask again.
mot honestly made me wish my horse was on livery! Or maybe have to stop doing bbqs! X

 

[Glitterandrainbows]

The worst thing is the parents often think the kids are been super helpful but the kids don’t even know how to fill a haynet after showing them a couple of times I feel awful saying that but it’s happened to me so much over the years

 

[Jellymoon]

I completely get this! I understand the bit about getting the horses done and all cleaned up ready for a non-horsey BBQ, and that sinking feeling when guests want to ‘do horses’! Much as I love them.
I don’t know, maybe be direct?

 

[Rosa666]

The worst thing is the parents often think the kids are been super helpful but the kids don’t even know how to fill a haynet after showing them a couple of times I feel awful saying that but it’s happened to me so much over the years

exactly! I have ocd about poopicking too and need to pick every little bit up so I’m sure she won’t do that to my standard either!

 

[Rosa666]

I completely get this! I understand the bit about getting the horses done and all cleaned up ready for a non-horsey BBQ, and that sinking feeling when guests want to ‘do horses’! Much as I love them.
I don’t know, maybe be direct?

glad it’s not just me!! I try to be obvious and say she’s not really suitable for novices and she’s not like a riding school pony but they don’t seem to catch on. Well think of me tomorrow, having to get changed and play horses half way through my bbq ?

 

[Bonnie Allie]

Use the word “no” regularly and with conviction. You don’t need an explanation as to why not, a reason or an excuse. It’s just ”no” and then be silent.

Get practiced at being comfortable with awkward silence.

 

[Lois Lame]

It's awful to be put into this situation. The people who ask probably have no idea of the ins and outs of it. It seems perfectly reasonable to them.

No suggestions, sorry, but you are not alone. (I am sure.)

 

[Ratface]

As advised above, just keep saying "No". If people persist, repeat.
"But, why?" trivia can be effectively met with "Because I say so" and changing the subject. It may lose you some tiresome hangers-on, but that, in my humble opinion, will be a blessing.
Good luck.

 

[Gingerwitch]

Ask for a ride on their husband or wife ?

 

[Flowerofthefen]

I've had a few friends ask to ride my boy. I just say no. Now at any given opportunity I neutron I don't ket anyone else ride him due to insurance.

 

[Barton Bounty]

I dont think your unreasonable at all. I am lucky no one wants to ride my boy ?

 

[meleeka]

I just say they are funny with other people riding them and don’t like it.

 

[Jellymoon]

glad it’s not just me!! I try to be obvious and say she’s not really suitable for novices and she’s not like a riding school pony but they don’t seem to catch on. Well think of me tomorrow, having to get changed and play horses half way through my bbq ?

haha, I will! I remember friends coming to stay once with kids, we’d all been at a 40th the night before, was really hung over so had crawled out of bed at 7am, fed horses and chucked them out in my jimjams, couldn’t face mucking out, do that later, crawled back into bed for a lovely lie in.
Next thing, friend banging on door, kids want to muck out and ride. I said, I’m feeling like shite, later… she wouldn’t have it, said kids are bored, they’ve got nothing to do, they are out there already with the shovels. FFS.

 

[COldNag]

Honestly, if they persist just say you are not insured for that.

 

[millikins]

If you'd bought a new car would all your friends and family expect to take it for a spin? Including the 17 yr old who passed their test last week? Just say a polite but firm no, if they persist say (truthfully) that you are not insured.

 

[FFAQ]

My friend usually responds with 'No. My horse is not a taxi, and if she was you would expect to pay for a ride' - I wish I could be that direct!

 

[The Xmas Furry]

I've always stuck to the truth. No, I'm not insured, no I'm not a riding school but here is the number of the local RS.

I've had non horsey parents wanting me to take their tots on my little ponies, again its a flat no. They know that others sit on them but that's v capable RC mums or grans bringing little ones and I don't need to supervise, they only come when I'm around anyway.

 

[jumbyjack]

I also would just say no and refuse to answer any further requests. If they want to ride they can go to a riding school.

 

[Peglo]

It’s such a frustrating situation to be in. And I totally get sorting the horses out and then ready to focus on other things.
I had 2 old retirees for years so that was always a good excuse but now I’ve got a ridden one, if anyone asks it will just be a no. She’s not a carousel and I won’t treat her like one.

your not being unreasonable, say no and enjoy your BBQ. Agree with above. You don’t need to give a reason.

 

[Trouper]

I'd just say I bought a horse suitable for me - not a child. Come back in a few years when they are a competent rider.

 

[Snow Falcon]

I'm in the "no" camp too. Unless I offer I think it's rude of someone to ask/assume they can have a ride.

 

[Landcruiser]

It's so cheeky! I'll never forget the time I'd got off my horse in the middle of Avebury (lots of tourists) and a guy asked me if he could put his little kid on the saddle and take a photograph. I said no, but he persisted and wanted to know why not!
I think non horse people view them as a sort of fairground ride- they only "see" the riding/having a ride, they don't understand that for every hour of riding there are hours of hard work, there are years of training, financial investment, emotional investment. It just doesn't occur to them.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

I just say that they are nutters to ride soon stops anyone asking ?

 

[fetlock]

See if you can find a video clip of a horse that looks broadly like yours (if they're non horsey just the same colour will probably do) that's going batsh!t crazy with a rider on, and show it to anyone that asks, whilst saying "the more on board the better really, as he/she was much worse than this before other people started riding him/her. Doris who you can see riding in the clip only broke her wrist that time, which I'm thrilled about because when Bob's son Horace popped on, Bob got kicked in the face and Horace is still in traction, so that broken wrist this time is definitely a big improvement..."

(PS Bob is the one standing by the barbie with his jaw wired, looking wistfully at the steak...)

 

[Flowerofthefen]

See if you can find a video clip of a horse that looks broadly like yours (if they're non horsey just the same colour will probably do) that's going batsh!t crazy with a rider on, and show it to anyone that asks, whilst saying "the more on board the better really, as he/she was much worse than this before other people started riding him/her. Doris who you can see riding in the clip only broke her wrist that time, which I'm thrilled about because when Bob's son Horace popped on, Bob got kicked in the face and Horace is still in traction, so that broken wrist this time is definitely a big improvement..."

Brilliant!!

 

[greasedweasel]

This… and it’s way worse when your “horse” is actually a fluffy pony who looks like it should be child friendly!!! Fed up with the “small child can help you with pony” they are NO help, my nerves can’t stand it, the pony is flat lining calming cookies, I’m counting the minutes until I can have wine and I’m very much childless by choice ???

 

[splashgirl45]

None of my family would ever ask to ride mine,they are too polite so when my nieces were young I offered them a ride on my old horse who was safe and took them out for a walk and they took it in turns to sit on him , my later horses were not so safe so I wouldn’t let anyone , especially the children, ride them because of the chance of an accident..so you are right to say no…