Family/friends wanting to ride my horse

[Twoblueeyes]

I just want your opinion to see if I’m being over the top or not…
All summer I’ve been inundated with people wanting to ride my horse. I think if I had of said yes to everyone , literally every weekend would have been filled up with people riding my horse.
One friend even asked if he could drop his daughter to me for the morning to do horse stuff! Er no thank you!
I’m lucky that I keep my horse at home, but every time we have a bbq someone guaranteed will ask if they can see the horses (fine) but then that leads to can we ride or can my kid ride? Er no! I got up early did all my horse stuff early so I could enjoy my day at bbq. I’d have to get changed and get dirty to give a pony ride that I don’t want to put my horse through when I want to be relaxing and enjoying myself at the bbq!
Ive got family coming round tomorrow and just had a message from a family member asking if their daughter can do horse stuff tomorrow. (He is obviously trying a different tactic rather then kid asking me on day) their kid has started riding and is now cantering on her own, but still I just don’t want to do it! Not sure I can get out of this one though. But then all the kids are going to want a go and it goes on and on.
Am I being unreasonable???

I was at a small yard and my paddock was next to a bungalow. The lady who lived there used to keep her retired eventer in my pauntil he passed away.
One day the owner of the yard asked if I would mind this lady taking my 20 year old semi retired cob out on a hack “or did I want to keep her all for myself”. Slightly taken aback I agreed. I heard nothing more. A couple of weeks later I noticed my bridle hung up with the reins through the throat lash which I never did. I thought oh … must have ridden. Nothing from yard owner or lady.
couple of weeks later saw husband in the garden when I was poo picking. He came over. I asked how his wife had got on. Terrible he says she had gone round the block a distance of 8 miles ! We only did short rides 1/2 hour max. My girl kept stopping and refusing to move eventually after 4 plus hours she got her back to yard but was suffering from a massive migraine. Funnily enough she never rode her again. I did used to laugh after when I imagined my girl looking at her in her garden and saying to her “fancy a ride round the block” before chuckling to herself and carrying on stuffing her face with grass.

 

[SEL]

With close supervision I've had a friend's kid up on the microcob but that was a special occasion.

I have been known to slap a poultice on and say pony has a poorly leg....

 

[Mari]

I just say No one rides my horse but me.

 

[Sleipnir]

A colleague once started planning a ride on my horse and admitted she had never ridden before. Sorry, I said, he is not suitable for beginners.
For some reason she instantly got offended and questioned me why I've got a horse that's no good for pony rides. ?

 

[TGM]

I have been known to slap a poultice on and say pony has a poorly leg....

Good one!

 

[Ample Prosecco]

I must be boringly obsessive because I’m delighted if family visits include ‘horse stuff’. Normally I resent the enforced ‘lack of horse stuff’ when we have visitors ??

But it shouldn’t be an automatic expectation so if you don’t want to do it, you’ve had plenty of excellent advice on how to avoid it. Hope you managed to enjoy the BBQ. X

 

[tallyho!]

No one ever wants to ride my ponies… I don’t know why because they look fresh from a wild pony movie complete with mud, flies and no one can see their eyes due to untrimmed forelock’s.. then I told everyone how much I fell off and no one really asks anymore.

 

[AUB]

I’ve only had this once and just replied that horse wasn’t safe for children to ride, but I’d gladly have them visit to groom and feed carrots.

I was that horse crazy girl myself and I do like to give back but it is the truth that my high strung super sensitive dressage horse is not suitable for a child. I do pop my 5year old son up there once in a blue moon and lead him a few times around the arena, but a child that would want to ride off the lead rein would not be safe.
But luckily my friend with a 10year old horse crazy daughter is just happy that someone will chat with the girl for hours about horses and have never asked to ride. When she’s older she’s more than welcome to come and ride, I’d really love that.

 

[tallyho!]

I’ve only had this once and just replied that horse wasn’t safe for children to ride, but I’d gladly have them visit to groom and feed carrots.

I was that horse crazy girl myself and I do like to give back but it is the truth that my high strung super sensitive dressage horse is not suitable for a child. I do pop my 5year old son up there once in a blue moon and lead him a few times around the arena, but a child that would want to ride off the lead rein would not be safe.
But luckily my friend with a 10year old horse crazy daughter is just happy that someone will chat with the girl for hours about horses and have never asked to ride. When she’s older she’s more than welcome to come and ride, I’d really love that.

I really hate to sound so neg… but… there is a difference being a girl always hanging out “helping” the neatest lady with a horse/pony in hope of a ride and those that just ask (or have parents who ask) and do nothing in return… takes some young folk years to earn a ride not a weekend bbq…

 

[AUB]

I really hate to sound so neg… but… there is a difference being a girl always hanging out “helping” the neatest lady with a horse/pony in hope of a ride and those that just ask (or have parents who ask) and do nothing in return… takes some young folk years to earn a ride not a weekend bbq…

Not disagreeing with you there.

 

[MrsMozartleto]

Most people didn't ever want to ride any of my horses. Think I must've given them a bad press... The occasional enquiry was met with a wee gulp and slight side-eye on my part and a half-rasped/half-whispered "Really? Are you sure...?", at which point they'd usually back off. Can't think why.

But if someone in the family was keen and having lessons, then yes, I'd take them for an in-hand stroll and let them do some jobs. I know it wouldn't be to my standard, but the child being reminded to pick up every bit would either get another well trained horse bod or make sure they never asked again.

 

[ponynutz]

Totally get the bit about getting ready for a bbq and then people want to see the horses - happens to me all the time if i hold pres or a party at my house. I understand they're a novelty but it's not a zoo.

Also insurance is a big issue here especially when it comes to children.

 

[MrsMozartleto]

I'd say to the parents " if you're still here at 6 or 7p.m. when I intend to do the horse we can all go and pick out, feed etc. but I'm not going down there in even half decent clothing. Make sure you bring the child's hat and boots" Most won't and so exclude themselves.
I have always hated refusing a kid a stroke/groom or a ride on the leading rein. It's good experience for the horse and it educates the child into understanding that a horse is not a toy or a machine.
I schooled horses around housing estates for years as an introduction to traffic and sundry noises etc. I feel that I want the kids who live there to grow up smiling at horses and their riders, not lobbing stones at them because those they had only ever seen them from a distance.

We used to do this - many a hack would involve a bit through residential areas and we always stopped if kids (or adults) wanted a wee stroke of the horses. You could see the longing in some of their eyes and so long as the horse was steady enough then I couldn't resist making them smile.

 

[Sparkeyboy]

Completely feel your pain! I say no as 'i don't have anything suitable to ride' or 'i don't have time' both of which are true and then usually follow up with some recommendations of local riding schools. I can see why people ask and it can seem selfish to those who don't have horses, but as others have said, you pay a lot of money and take a lot of time to look after your horse. My horses are my safe place and I, selfishly, enjoy having them to myself! I don't mind the odd visit to see the horses from family members but people take the mickey...before you know it the kids are being dropped off on a saturday morning at 7am and you're responsible for everyone's safety

 

[emilylou]

Nope. Not any more. I just say no and take great delight in it. The worst I've had was an acquaintance messaging me on facebook to say that she had a friend coming over and they would really like to go horse riding and would they be able to borrow mine!!!
But I remember as a teenager hacking to a local school fete and giving people pony rides on my 14.2, no insurance, just any old kid slung up on his back in shorts and trainers and had a wander around the field complete with bouncy castles and footballs flying everywhere. Luckily he was a fantastic pony!

 

[Red-1]

I really hate to sound so neg… but… there is a difference being a girl always hanging out “helping” the neatest lady with a horse/pony in hope of a ride and those that just ask (or have parents who ask) and do nothing in return… takes some young folk years to earn a ride not a weekend bbq…

I don't know... when I was 15 or 16, I had a grade B SJer, retired, bought for me to get experience on as a step up from ponies. He wasn't really suitable as he had been retired for having a stop in him and he was rather hot. Mum bought him and paid for him.

Because of that, I was not in a position to say no when she asked that I give a friend of mum's daughter a lesson. The girl had never ridden before and was younger, maybe 13? I did say that Oliver wasn't really suitable as a lessons horse, but she just told me to get him ready as it was happening.

I cycled to the yard early and took him for a 2 hour ride before the appointed time. It was brisk weather, he was frisky, so he worked hard, then jogged all the way home, and came back to the yard in a bit of a lather.

Mum eyed up the blowing, frothy horse, said not a word and the lesson commenced. The girl was sickening! Started on a lead rein, drank instruction in, learned to rise to the trot, progressed to the lunge line and finished riding free in the school like she had ridden for years. I mean, she looked better on the horse than I did!

Turns out she was a gymnast, fearless and great at learning. That lesson really sparked my interest in teaching TBH, started me on a journey and I got my AI at 18. Mum lapped up the glory. I don't think she knew how 'lucky' it all was