Feeling bitter and twisted!

[Baywonder]

I was incredibly jealous of anyone who had a pony when I was a child. I thought life was just so unfair! As I grew older, I fully understood that my parents simply could not afford to buy and keep a pony.

To be honest, I do feel really sorry for the 'well off' types who have everything thrown at them. In most cases they are unable to appreciate what they actually have, and how lucky they are. I suppose everything is taken for granted, and they know the cost of everything but the value of nothing.

For me, I saved and saved to buy my first pony when I was 16 - and when I got him I felt like the luckiest person in the world! Yes, it was a struggle to buy things sometimes, but I managed it, and we had some fun years together. At one particular show, I remember seeing a little boy, probably about 6 or 7, all dressed smartly ready to go into his class. He was standing on a piece of paper, and his mother yelled at him to stand there and not move. The poor kid looked so fed up. He was then plonked on his pony, and his mother carried on fussing and bossing him about. I often wonder if he carried on with riding as he got older......

Poor kid.

 

[Marigold4]

I think a bit of the green eyed monster is normal when you're trying to do well in a sport like ours.
there will always be people who have had a huge leg up and it feels like you'll never touch them. I would be lying if I said I wasn't envious of people I see out competing, amazing lorries, amazing horses, an entourage of helpers and supporters... and there's little old me struggling with my feral project... but HP puts it well



Me even 10 years ago would look with envy at what I have now, a decent (if rather old) horsebox that I can go anywhere I fancy, whenever I want, and a horse that I've trained up to a level I never thought I'd achieve. a trainer who really wants to see us succeed - someone who believes in us. 65% at the FEI levels is like 90% at prelim to me! If we can carry on getting scores in the 60s as we attempt to continue scrambling upwards I'll be thrilled.




I'm a broken record on this subject, but do you have a great instructor/trainer who can help you? its the thing that makes the most difference to my enjoyment and sense of fulfillment, I now go to shows for a sense check but its my lessons that really scratch the itch I have to develop and prove something (to myself ) and that makes the jealous tendencies fade to the background you might think you've hit a wall but a really skilled passionate trainer who gets you should be able to help you see the way forward

No, sadly, I don't have a great trainer. I have tri

Right now I'd just like any one of my 3 horses to actually be rideable and not just spend all my money at the vets

OP - I do know what you mean though and I've seen a lot more of it since we moved back to the South East. I don't remember so much money floating around kids and ponies when I was young, but perhaps I've got my rose tinted specs on. We were all on various degrees of shaggy at the local gymkhanas then.

I still find it odd watching prelim dressage at one of the local yards and seeing some extremely highly schooled horses doing very basic tests. I can't work out if their riders are just chasing rosettes or are too scared of failure to move up the levels. Perhaps that would show up their riding more??? Perhaps that's me being bitter and twisted

 

[Marigold4]

Right now I'd just like any one of my 3 horses to actually be rideable and not just spend all my money at the vets

OP - I do know what you mean though and I've seen a lot more of it since we moved back to the South East. I don't remember so much money floating around kids and ponies when I was young, but perhaps I've got my rose tinted specs on. We were all on various degrees of shaggy at the local gymkhanas then.

I still find it odd watching prelim dressage at one of the local yards and seeing some extremely highly schooled horses doing very basic tests. I can't work out if their riders are just chasing rosettes or are too scared of failure to move up the levels. Perhaps that would show up their riding more??? Perhaps that's me being bitter and twisted

Agreed. There does seem to be a real reluctance to move out of the lower levels even for horses that seem to have what it takes. I wonder why? As Milliepops says, there are fewer entrants up the levels, so more chance of a rosette. Perhaps we're all as insecure as each other?!

 

[Mrs Jingle]

too right and that's from a 3 step mounting block....and as for getting off again - that takes serious planning!

I am at the huge mounting block height being increased at regular intervals stage of my riding career! My very old and half crippled shrinking little body struggling more and more to get on my 17.3 tank.
Even worse now since discovering due to an accident I had a couple of months back I appear to also have some spinal damage going on. Riding is banned altogether and I am NOT a happy little old lady to say the least.

OP I really do get your point - but I also often look at kids riding their ponies at competitions with their parents screaming instruction laced with abuse at them as the child does its best with a pony built for competing on, not for having fun. Do those children ever get to disappear for a day with a bunch of friends on their Thelwell ponies, sandwich and an old fashioned army flask of water for the mid day break lol! Do they ever gallop around bareback, often two riders on the one pony giggling and shrieking when they predictably have an unplanned dismount at some point of the high jinx? I doubt it very much.

So no, I dont envy the kids these days, deprived of a fantastic happy childhood to follow their parent's dreams of lots of nice frillies and big shiny cups on the mantelpiece.

 

[Marigold4]

No, sadly, I don't have a great trainer. I have tri

Oops posted too soon.

I have tried to find a trainer. I work hard for my money teaching teenagers in the state system in one of the worst educational areas and I'm not going to give that money to someone who is on the phone, who spouts standard instructions without explaining them/why or who is on a mission to belittle. Search goes on.

 

[Marigold4]

I am at the huge mounting block height being increased at regular intervals stage of my riding career! My very old and half crippled shrinking little body struggling more and more to get on my 17.3 tank.
Even worse now since discovering due to an accident I had a couple of months back I appear to also have some spinal damage going on. Riding is banned altogether and I am NOT a happy little old lady to say the least.

OP I really do get your point - but I also often look at kids riding their ponies at competitions with their parents screaming instruction laced with abuse at them as the child does its best with a pony built for competing on, not for having fun. Do those children ever get to disappear for a day with a bunch of friends on their Thelwell ponies, sandwich and an old fashioned army flask of water for the mid day break lol! Do they ever gallop around bareback, often two riders on the one pony giggling and shrieking when they predictably have an unplanned dismount at some point of the high jinx? I doubt it very much.

So no, I dont envy the kids these days, deprived of a fantastic happy childhood to follow their parent's dreams of lots of nice frillies and big shiny cups on the mantelpiece.

Ha, ha this is how I broke my arm, riding bareback backwards up a hill!

 

[Marigold4]

I am at the huge mounting block height being increased at regular intervals stage of my riding career! My very old and half crippled shrinking little body struggling more and more to get on my 17.3 tank.
Even worse now since discovering due to an accident I had a couple of months back I appear to also have some spinal damage going on. Riding is banned altogether and I am NOT a happy little old lady to say the least.

OP I really do get your point - but I also often look at kids riding their ponies at competitions with their parents screaming instruction laced with abuse at them as the child does its best with a pony built for competing on, not for having fun. Do those children ever get to disappear for a day with a bunch of friends on their Thelwell ponies, sandwich and an old fashioned army flask of water for the mid day break lol! Do they ever gallop around bareback, often two riders on the one pony giggling and shrieking when they predictably have an unplanned dismount at some point of the high jinx? I doubt it very much.

So no, I dont envy the kids these days, deprived of a fantastic happy childhood to follow their parent's dreams of lots of nice frillies and big shiny cups on the mantelpiece.

Wow! 17.2 kudos! I started back to riding on a 16.3, my horses getting smaller and smaller. Youngster is 15 hh. I can feel a shetland coming on!

 

[milliepops]

whereabouts are you? maybe someone local could make some suggestions. I really do think it's the best way to get away from the frustration of feeling like you don't match up. it's a bloody hard sport to be feeling your way through on your own and I'd argue that the biggest difference between some riders is not the horse power and all the kit but the input from experienced eyes on the ground.

 

[TWMD]

Really interesting thread and I think it works both ways.

I've seen people at shows and known a few personally who can afford a fantastic horse that jumps 1.30s, events at intermediate, competes at PSG etc but when they try and ride them around BE100 they really struggle. These lovely horses are often sharp and senstive.

Was talking to a friend at the weekend who was telling me about a 15 year old girl at her yard. Parents are very lardy da and girl has just completed her first ever 70cm ode. Her pony stopped twice on the xc so parents flew off and 3 weeks later pony was replaced by an intermediate event horse I'm looking forward to hearing how she gets on with that one!

My horse is quite well bred but I brought him fairly cheap as he was just backed when I got him. He is not an easy ride so we will never be in the ribbons consistently. A good day for us is a relaxed dressage test, a clear sj round and a xc round where he actually listens to me and doesn't try and tank off. I've done all of that, finished halfway down the placings but was chuffed to bits.

 

[Sprat]

Was talking to a friend at the weekend who was telling me about a 15 year old girl at her yard. Parents are very lardy da and girl has just completed her first ever 70cm ode. Her pony stopped twice on the xc so parents flew off and 3 weeks later pony was replaced by an intermediate event horse I'm looking forward to hearing how she gets on with that one!

doesn’t that sound like a recipe for disaster. Poor kid, and horse, it will end in tears

 

[Pinkvboots]

Having money and posh expensive things does not always mean you win or are better than anyone less fortunate.

Years ago a woman that taught me how to ride when I was a child had a daughter that loved riding they ended up being my neighbours, they were not that well off but that woman saved up and bought an ex hunting pony for her daughter he wasn't expensive, her daughter dreamt of doing dressage she had one lesson a week with a dressage instructor, they then went out and did prelim dressage alongside all the posh warmbloods and lorries, and over time she moved up the ranks often beating adults on big flash horses and she got that pony to advanced medium, as she grew into an adult she had a talent and was asked to compete other people's horses which is what she does now, I love looking at her Facebook and she has been in magazine articles and does bloody well, unfortunately her mum passed away some years back but I know her lovely mum worked really hard to get her daughter on that path with very little money and help. It's a real inspiration to me as I have known them all my life.

 

[honetpot]

When my children were teenagers we were at livery on a friend's yard. They literally spent tens of thousands of pounds, on the yard, arena, lorries, ponies then horses, to help their child. I do not think she was any happier than my kids with their bargain basement ponies and battered old lorry. Non of them now ride, I hope they all have happy memories of shared time together. I liken learning to ride like learning to swim, a skill that we can learn but not all of us are going to be world beaters, but you can still get a lot of enjoyment and skills for life out of it.
There is nothing better I think than a mornings hunting on a £250 pony, being loaded in to a £500 trailer, no pressure just the thrill of being out, from where I started out that's posh.

 

[TPO]

While I understand that the OP is (slightly) tongue in cheek and that in every walk of life, or just life full stop, there will always be people with "more" who appear to glide through life untouched by any troubles I have never understood the reverse snobbery in horses.

If someone is able to have their hobby/sport funded in some way then their horsemanship will be lacking, or they aren't enjoying it or all the work has been done for them. It's not just this thread but it's been a common theme on here over the years. it's almost a sport in its own right to "look down" upon those with money and pick holes because they must have had it so easy. If someone handed me a £100k horse tomorrow and booked Caroline Moore to teach me I still wouldn't be able to ride one side of it; to think that they just sit there and haven't put in any work or effort, let alone have any skill, is really quite rude. If I had access to training, horses and funding too right I wouldn't be saying "but that's not fair on the people who don't". Horses are a luxury and always have been.

Yes getting correct tuition on correctly schooled horses will undoubtedly be a huge benefit and not all of us had access to that when starting out but as LEC and others have said where there is a will there is a way and there are plenty of things that anyone could do to improve their "game".

Like Milliepops has said it can be hard if you're competitive but are restricted by money/time/only one horse but it's not impossible. I don't understand why so much time is spent comparing oneself to others. You have what you have and if you want to see a change then you've got to put in the time/work/money/effort somehow. I'm not talking about people who solely have horses for the enjoyment but if you have horses to compete/that's a big part and competing means a lot to you then you do what it takes.

For example while I have passing notions that I'd like to do X,Y or Z I don't want to do it so much that I want to go back to 4.30am starts and purely living and breathing horses. I quite like the balance that I have just now and with that I have to accept that I'll never be bothering Ros Canter. If somehow it did become very important to me to be the best that I could possibly be then you betcha I'd be up crack of dawn putting in the hours, reading, watching, learning, listening, doing my keep fit, building core strength, changing priorities and devoting hours and money on getting where I wanted to be. People have pointed out ways, on this thread and others, to progress, improve and better results but there are always without fails excuses given as replies. I mean that's fine if you don't want to do/try what's been suggested you don't have to but don't say that it can't be done.

I never understand complaining about dressage either (clearly there is a lot I don't understand on here about people). In dressage you are being judged against the set out scoring scale for performing the movements, IMO you go out to "beat" yourself and better your score. So it really doesn't matter if Millionaire Maisie is out riding Thousand K Tommy in the ring before you because you aren't being judged against them. If you want to score higher then do better and stop complaining that there aren't rules to stop Millionaire Maisie from competing!

 

[PapaverFollis]

Jumbled thoughts.

I was soooooooo jealous of the other girls in Pony Club with the fancy horses while I did my best on fluffy, nappy, difficult riding school borrows! But the year I won overall Tack and Turnout AND the Combined Training was very, very sweet.

Finally getting my own horse at the age of 26 was such a huge thrill I'm not sure I'd switch it for years of horse ownership before...

One of the shows I helped out at last year there was a lassy sweeping the board on a gorgeous hunter type... I was a bit eye rolling thinking she'd been bought the posh horse. We got chatting to the family and it turned out they'd basically rescued the mare as a malnourished wreck and paid a pittance for her but had seen the quality underneath... abd her brother was doing a stirling job wrestling the rather difficult hand me down pony around various classes! So I put my judgey hat away for the day!

When I took The Beast dressaging everyone, including the judge, thought I was a novice on a made horse pot hunting in the intro. I've been riding since I was a kid, was riding my previous horse at medium type level at home, and have done 50% of the schooling of The Beast who was definitely still only intro level at that point! Why we looked the other way around I don't know. But appearances can be deceiving. It's kind of pointless getting jealous about a scenario thar might not be true. But it's not like I haven't been there myself with the jealous.

 

[milliepops]

While I understand that the OP is (slightly) tongue in cheek and that in every walk of life, or just life full stop, there will always be people with "more" who appear to glide through life untouched by any troubles I have never understood the reverse snobbery in horses.

If someone is able to have their hobby/sport funded in some way then their horsemanship will be lacking, or they aren't enjoying it or all the work has been done for them. It's not just this thread but it's been a common theme on here over the years. it's almost a sport in its own right to "look down" upon those with money and pick holes because they must have had it so easy. If someone handed me a £100k horse tomorrow and booked Caroline Moore to teach me I still wouldn't be able to ride one side of it; to think that they just sit there and haven't put in any work or effort, let alone have any skill, is really quite rude. If I had access to training, horses and funding too right I wouldn't be saying "but that's not fair on the people who don't". Horses are a luxury and always have been.

Yes getting correct tuition on correctly schooled horses will undoubtedly be a huge benefit and not all of us had access to that when starting out but as LEC and others have said where there is a will there is a way and there are plenty of things that anyone could do to improve their "game".

Like Milliepops has said it can be hard if you're competitive but are restricted by money/time/only one horse but it's not impossible. I don't understand why so much time is spent comparing oneself to others. You have what you have and if you want to see a change then you've got to put in the time/work/money/effort somehow. I'm not talking about people who solely have horses for the enjoyment but if you have horses to compete/that's a big part and competing means a lot to you then you do what it takes.

For example while I have passing notions that I'd like to do X,Y or Z I don't want to do it so much that I want to go back to 4.30am starts and purely living and breathing horses. I quite like the balance that I have just now and with that I have to accept that I'll never be bothering Ros Canter. If somehow it did become very important to me to be the best that I could possibly be then you betcha I'd be up crack of dawn putting in the hours, reading, watching, learning, listening, doing my keep fit, building core strength, changing priorities and devoting hours and money on getting where I wanted to be. People have pointed out ways, on this thread and others, to progress, improve and better results but there are always without fails excuses given as replies. I mean that's fine if you don't want to do/try what's been suggested you don't have to but don't say that it can't be done.

I never understand complaining about dressage either (clearly there is a lot I don't understand on here about people). In dressage you are being judged against the set out scoring scale for performing the movements, IMO you go out to "beat" yourself and better your score. So it really doesn't matter if Millionaire Maisie is out riding Thousand K Tommy in the ring before you because you aren't being judged against them. If you want to score higher then do better and stop complaining that there aren't rules to stop Millionaire Maisie from competing!

couldn't agree more!

I'm always an advocate for the underdog getting out there and having a bloody good crack at it but I also don't get the reverse snobbery on HHO, unless it's just people trying to make themselves feel better if i could change my circumstances in the blink of an eye you can bet your life I'd take the parental help and the fancy lorry and the nice horses and all the rest of it, and yes I reckon it would make me happy it's tremendously hard pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and I'd 100% rather not have to.

that said it's still hard to do well even with all the leg ups cos you've still got to ride the horse well

 

[Summit]

I always knew how lucky I was and the sacrifices my parents made to give me my dream, and later when I had to pay for her with all my own meagre wages. I guess nobody is going to teach those rich kids the benefit of proper hard work or to be grateful for what you do have.

im The same, parents borrowed £400 to buy My first pony when I was 11. I will be eternally grateful for them. As soon as I was 16 I had to work to start paying for him.

loved every moment with him. Didn’t have anything new, everything was 2nd hand but he was the best time of my childhood

 

[Muddywellies]

Oops posted too soon.

I have tried to find a trainer. I work hard for my money teaching teenagers in the state system in one of the worst educational areas and I'm not going to give that money to someone who is on the phone, who spouts standard instructions without explaining them/why or who is on a mission to belittle. Search goes on.

It's just affording it full stop. I have a wonderful trainer but could only afford a lesson every couple of months. Managed to drag myself up a couple of levels in dressage, then reached a point where I need more time and money to get any further, and I have neither.

 

[oldie48]

Goodness me, anyone who has ridden as a child and manages to have their own horse even if it's a three legged carthorse, is, in my book, bloody fortunate. I despise the assertion that the children of well off parents must be sad, rubbish riders with no knowledge of horse care, brow beaten by ambitious parents if they don't bring home the prize. What an absolute load of tosh! Also sick of people moaning that some people can afford better horses and therefore do better at dressage etc. For every child with a privileged background there are 100s who have much less than most of us on here and would give their right arm to spend a day around a pony. If life has taught me anything it's that if you want something you don't have, just go out and work for it. No-one is owed anything in this life. Judge people, if you must, not by what they have but by what they do but tbh the world would be a much nicer place if we were much less judgemental.

 

[Cowpony]

I do get where the OP is coming from. I was beaten recently by a 14 year old who was coached throughout both warm-ups by her trainer. We later found out that the trainer schooled the horse every day. It was really hard not to feel that if I had that level of support I could be doing an awful lot better than I am. But I'm sure if I did I would still be looking at those doing even better and I'd still be feeling dissatisfied.

I do affiliated dressage on a pony who isn't built for it (and neither am I ). I bought her as an allrounder, which she is, but as I got older became less keen on jumping and more interested in dressage. I work full time so can't ride every day or even close. If I get a week off and ride every day my position improves, so it's clear what one of the building blocks is. But life gets in the way. I could become that incredibly focussed person who insists on riding every day, buying a better horse, lessons only with the best trainers etc But I wouldn't have a husband, a job I enjoy or such a fulfilled life. Would I be happier? Almost certainly not. I'd be looking at those with husbands in tow and a newer lorry, and being envious of them, because what I'd really want is a life partner and a well paid job.

What I'm trying to say is that the whole of life is a balance and a series of trade offs. If something is really important to you you take steps to pursue it, because the sacrifices are worth it. If you aren't prepared to make those sacrifices then the issue isn't as important to you and you have to accept that others are going to move ahead of you. It's easier if you have money, but there are still sacrifices.

 

[holeymoley]

Nah. I was the same as you op. The ones you’ve mentioned don’t have an oodle of horsemanship, the horses are bought ‘pre made’.
Certainly that’s the case for the ones I know, and they admit they don’t own a hoof pick! It’s all money and flash things to see who can come home with the most rosettes.

I remember about 10 years ago I rocked up to a dressage competition(literally rocked as we were late, damn roadworks, and in my blue old rice trailer). I never got a chance to warm up, I basically tacked up and had to go in. It was very intimidating as it was all fancy horse boxes, fancy warm bloods with patent bridles and perfectly turned out riders with instructors and/or grooms. Somehow my guy done the best test and received 74% with 1st place, lots of very disgruntled owners! I managed to watch a few tests, it was very much flashy horses and riders that couldn’t rider one end of them.

 

[Tiddlypom]

Re parental expectations.

I was stewarding at a fun ride a few years ago with my late mum.

We became aware of some sort of commotion in the distance, there was lots of shouting which gradually got louder. It was a mounted party of three, an adult male and two small children. The younger child’s pony was repeatedly refusing, and the shouting was from the father who was berating his child for not riding it postively. The pony stopped again at our fence, the small child fell off, and we caught the pony.

My mum asked ‘Is she all right?’ as the child was crying. Small child in a crash hat, we presumed that it was a girl

The father shouted at his son ‘You’re so pathetic, this woman thinks that you are a girl!‘ and legged him back on his pony. They rode on, small child still crying.

This parent is a well known professional in these parts. I wish I’d let my mum report him, which she wanted to do. But when he’s not being a sh1t, he’s charm personified, so if you’ve not witnessed him lose his rag, his fan base wouldn’t believe it.

I’ve seen him lose his temper in another situation around horses since then, this time with the horse.

 

[Crazy_cat_lady]

I can see where you're coming from i see pictures of people with horse boxes and getting to do competitions while mine won't load so we can't get out to places. Id love to go to the beach for example but we can't. Probably fortunate right now as hes Sporting a full clip bar legs... and from halfway up his neck he is hairy as he for all the tea in China wasnt having them up his neck! However when i started clipping today he was being funny even having them near him i thought we were going to end up with body off then chest and neck remaining firmly on!!!

I was a pony mad child but my parents couldn't afford my own pony so I'd spend hours up at the riding school helping for free rides, and having my twice weekly lesson then eventually loaning various rs ponies, one who I absolutely adored and I think would have been my pony of a lifetime had he been my own used to break my heart seeing him having to go round in lessons with the beginners and id dream of him having just me ride him.

There were several of us ponyless helpers and we all got on really well with hours of fun spent there

I think "adult" horse ownership becomes more serious with more rules to follow unless you have your own land. I miss gymkhanas and when I first got my own horse there was a pond up the yard and id spend many a happy hour with a friend on her pony riding through the pond, over the little log then up the bank that was in the field.

Im now at the point where I'm losing interest in horses, so perhaps OP youre lucky you still have that love. This will be my last horse, who knows what will happen a few years down the line when I've had a bit of a break and hopefully started a family as that's the next thing I want to do with my life. Maybe I'll win the lottery

Op it sounds like you were lucky to have a childhood pony it was always my dream but I was lucky my mum taxied me to the yard so often and even got involved with the chores such as sweeping while i faffed around with the ponies. Now she helps me by mucking out and taking care of my horse when I'm at work in the week

Can remember one of the liveries when I was helping at the rs and her pushy mum left her in tears at a competition as she was scared jumping and her mum was getting after her the whole time. She had an absolutely gorgeous pony who id have given an eye tooth to sit on but she couldn't enjoy him.

 

[milliepops]

it's easy to get into the habit of thinking all horsey parents with money are pushy, and all well off youngsters with nice horses can't ride. but all that does is make you feel bitter, I think.
I know well off (well, it's all relative, innit) horsey parents who have given really positive support to their child and have not fallen into the PC mum stereotype. Likewise there are loads of super young riders who have excellent horsemanship and provide the daily care to their horses/ponies. All of life isn't cartoon-like. there are people who have just been extra fortunate and are doing well for themselves.

 

[Turitea]

Na, wouldn't want them. If they invest that much money, they probably want to see some sort of return. And since I have never been one for the competition scene, I would be a lost case for said parents.

 

[wiglet]

I'm on a full livery yard. There's kids on my yard with multiple horses all paid for by mum and dad. They have a couple of lessons a week and school in-between. They never hack. At weekends they compete, sometimes they get a rosette, mostly they don't and when they don't, their horses pay for it with even more intensive schooling.

I feel so sorry for them tbh. They've never mucked out a stable, they wouldn't know how to. They have no idea what to do if their horse gets an injury. They've never experienced the joy of galloping across a stubble field or warming their hands up by sticking them under your horses rug on a cold winter morning. They never look that happy.

 

[9tails]

It doesn't matter what sort of lorry you have, it's what you bring down the ramp that is important. Mine is a beautiful unicorn, the others are just horses. Smile, enjoy yourself, stand in the coffee queue holding your horse, take a couple of sugar cubes for your horse, it should be fun.

 

[TotalMadgeness]

I still find it odd watching prelim dressage at one of the local yards and seeing some extremely highly schooled horses doing very basic tests. I can't work out if their riders are just chasing rosettes or are too scared of failure to move up the levels. Perhaps that would show up their riding more??? Perhaps that's me being bitter and twisted

This sometimes baffles me quite frankly. The day I get to Novice I'm never looking back!! (or Prelim on my connie who the vet thinks will never get to Novice but that's another story). I remember toddling off to a local dressage comp a few years back with my precious IDx and the winner of the Prelim and Novice got a score way higher than the rest of us lowly mortals (like above 90% when 2nd place was in the 70's). The rider was a lovely lady about my age with a very nice mare similar in size/looks to mine so we had a pleasant chit chat in the warm up. I later found out from my instructor that not only does she teach this lady but the horse competes successfully at Elementary level. Unfortunately it turns out that the lady suffers from bad nerves so finds doing elementary classes problematic - hence why she was doing Prelim and Novice.

 

[oldie48]

Na, wouldn't want them. If they invest that much money, they probably want to see some sort of return. And since I have never been one for the competition scene, I would be a lost case for said parents.

Why on earth would you assume that? There are pushy parents in all walks of life just like there are kind supportive parents, some rich, some poor and lots who are neither. Parents tend to spend what they can afford, I certainly did, this meant my daughter had a nicer pony than some and a much less established pony than others. Many years ago I came across a couple of sisters, daughters of a self made millionaire from quite humble beginings. They were bought a team pony each, a huge lorry with a pop out side and given access to the best training available tbh he could afford it and why shouldn't he do it for his girls? I felt so sorry for them, the vile sniping and general schadenfreude when they didn't have a good result was disgusting. They obviously had their father's grit and they did rather well which pleased me hugely.

 

[luckyoldme]

I did fume! But not as badly as when someone says ahh bless.

I know your pain.
Getting called dear is right up there too.

Slightly opposite but in the same vein..........

arrived at a SJ comp one morning at the same time as a teen girl whose Dad who was clearly non-horsie driving a hire horse trailer with a family sedan.

Horse was fluffy, gear was certainly not the latest and her jacket must have been borrowed as it was too large for her.

I remember thinking “gosh, I hope she gets around today as clearly she has gone to a lot of effort just to be here. Maybe it’s her first comp and unfortunately she has picked a big one“. I actually felt a bit sorry for her as I thought she would be outclassed.


You guessed it.......................beat the pants off all of us. Won both classes. She could really ride. My learning was to pull my head in, and never judge a book by its cover.

I like that story.

 

[Winters100]

I still find it odd watching prelim dressage at one of the local yards and seeing some extremely highly schooled horses doing very basic tests. I can't work out if their riders are just chasing rosettes or are too scared of failure to move up the levels. Perhaps that would show up their riding more??? Perhaps that's me being bitter and twisted

I know what you mean, but I don't really find it odd. More likely that they are aware that they are inexperienced riders and want to stay within their level - nothing wrong with having a schoolmaster/mistress. Or maybe they have lost confidence / had injuries / don't enjoy / cannot afford competing at high level. In my discipline, which is admittedly very different to dressage, I now compete in much lower level than I, or my horses, are capable of. Mainly because I enjoy it more, but also because I have had some serious injuries in the last 5 years and I would like to avoid more. For me it would not really make sense to pay a lot of money to do something that I no longer massively enjoy.

We all start and end somewhere with our riding abilities, and I don't really see anything wrong as long as long as everyone is having fun.