For those of you that pay to have someone ride your horse

[Birker2020]

I’ve lost my rider for reasons I don't want to go into.

So I’m looking for someone else to come to the yard and think I’ve found someone so what do you do when arranging for someone to ride your horse? How do you communicate? Do you have set days? How do you deal with someone who doesn’t get back to you?

I really want to get this right this time. I need to get it right if I am going to keep Lari. Just until I get myself sorted.

 

[Michen]

Just stay professional, why air "issues" on an open forum where you know she can read the above. It's her perogative to terminate the agreement just as it is yours.

When I paid someone to ride my horse, and with the freelancer who does two days a week looking after mine (not riding) currently, I text as far in advance as I could with what days I'd like for week X if poss and she says yes or no can do, if no gives alternatives and then we work from there.

Riding wise I didn't really care what days it was as long as it didn't clash with a lesson or whatnot when I needed to ride- does it really matter to you when they ride at this point?

Freelance grooming days are a bit diff as it's usually because I'm away/working etc so there's a need for specific days at times.

 

[Birker2020]

Just stay professional, why air "issues" on an open forum where you know she can read the above. It's her perogative to terminate the agreement just as it is yours.

When I paid someone to ride my horse, and with the freelancer who does two days a week looking after mine (not riding) currently, I text as far in advance as I could with what days I'd like for week X if poss and she says yes or no can do, if no gives alternatives and then we work from there.

Riding wise I didn't really care what days it was as long as it didn't clash with a lesson or whatnot when I needed to ride- does it really matter to you when they ride at this point?

Freelance grooming days are a bit diff as it's usually because I'm away/working etc so there's a need for specific days at times.

Okay deleted. I just wanted to explain what happened because I know someone would have asked.

Yes it matters when people ride as I sometimes like to watch and I work full time and sometimes at the weekend I have my elderly mum to shop for and entertain so time can run away from us. And obviously I need to be there for a lesson so need to know in advance. So its essential I know when or what time. EDITED to say I don't want to watch every time, I did want to watch at the beginning obviously.

Perhaps it was silly of me to ask the question on here but i just wanted to get an idea of how people communicated with someone that rode for them as I've never had anyone ride for me before.

It was just an honest question but I should have known better. Forget it thank you.

 

[milliepops]

i agree with michen, keeping it discrete is probably best, as your arrangement is between the 2 of you and no one else. I think if i got wind that someone i was working for was talking about me with other people I'd also decide it was potentially more hassle than it was worth.
So for the next one, I'd just share the bare minimum details with randoms who are not involved... on a need to know basis (YO etc)

I think I'd try and set out your requirements at the outset with the new person, whether that's regular days or being able to book on a more informal basis. bearing in mind someone who is busy might not be able to respond at short notice because they may have other bookings in the future. You could ask about that, how quickly they might be able to come back to you if you are wanting more of an ad-hoc arrangement. the key is probably in the communication up front.

 

[poiuytrewq]

I had someone help me out a few years ago when I had 2 to ride and one that I wasn’t keen on taking alone at the time and wanted my old horse as a nanny on the roads.
I used to just ask her what days she was able to fit us in at the end of each week and work round that. It worked really well for the time I needed it. She was a freelance.

 

[Cragrat]

My daughter couldn't ride for a while (medical) and we asked someone we already went to for lessons, so she knows the horse.
It was just done by text - is this day any good? If so, what time? We took the horse to her, she got on and rode in her arena. We had a loose agreement of once or twice a week.

 

[MuddyMonster]

If you want to be there, then I think you need to arrange it as far in advance as possible. I would imagine lots of people would have a bit of a wait list anyway.

When I had my instructor ride mine, I didn't feel the need to be there so we agreed days and I just left her access to my tack and let her get on with it. Trying to be there would have made it more difficult.

I was guided by when my instructor could fit us in around her other arrangements.

We made arrangements via text I think from memory as easy to respond quickly.

 

[nutjob]

I have had 2 people ride mine for me. Both were trainers that I already knew and who knew my horse. I wanted him to be trained not just exercised and wanted to be there to see what they were doing and discuss his progress. He's a large wb like yours and not straightforward. Since I already knew them and had been having lessons I would just agree the next appointment at the end of the session. If one of us wanted to reschedule we would then do it by text. If it was someone new then I would want to speak to them on the phone first. If they don't get back to you it's a bad sign, I would try another method of communication. Where I live there's a very limited mobile signal so I don't always get calls. If this doesn't work go for someone else. Some trainers are flaky on timekeeping and whilst there are often good reasons for this it's annoying if you have got the horse ready and you don't know if they are late or not going to turn up at all because they are bad communicators.

 

[Birker2020]

If you want to be there, then I think you need to arrange it as far in advance as possible. I would imagine lots of people would have a bit of a wait list anyway.

When I had my instructor ride mine, I didn't feel the need to be there so we agreed days and I just left her access to my tack and let her get on with it. Trying to be there would have made it more difficult.

I was guided by when my instructor could fit us in around her other arrangements.

We made arrangements via text I think from memory as easy to respond quickly.

You misunderstood. I left my tack too, so he could be ridden whenever, but it was nice to be there at the start and every now and then. I didn't want to be there every time, if it read like that it was because I wrote in a hurry.

It was more about the communication side that I was struggling with so I don't make the same mistake again. I find it very hard to ask for help so it makes it very hard speaking to someone directly, I don't like hassling people but at the same time I need to know. I'd rather someone text me and said I can do 5pm Wednesday, early Sunday morning, Friday morning, etc, etc. Some people at the yard have been great and have been offering to help me by walking round with me or being in the school with me for 20 mins, just so I can have some confidence.

I don't know what's happened but all my confidence has just disappeared. I never used to be like this. It's scary.

 

[Gallop_Away]

I think you will probably need to consider which is more important, having the horse ridden regularly, or it fitting around your schedule.

I understand wanting to be there to watch especially the first few times, but going forward I think you may struggle to consistently book a professional at short notice.

You may either have to accept the horse being ridden without you being there, in which case is there someone you trust that you could ask to be there in your place? Or you may need to jiggle your schedule around to suit when your rider can be there.

 

[Emilieu]

I had a block booking of set times as I would do with a regular lesson. If either of us needed to change it we texted.

 

[Birker2020]

I think you will probably need to consider which is more important, having the horse ridden regularly, or it fitting around your schedule.

I understand wanting to be there to watch especially the first few times, but going forward I think you may struggle to consistently book a professional at short notice.

You may either have to accept the horse being ridden without you being there, in which case is there someone you trust that you could ask to be there in your place? Or you may need to jiggle your schedule around to suit when your rider can be there.

I made a mistake when I wrote what I wrote. I don't need to be there every time, its just every now and then. The ten times he was ridden I probably watched four times.

I just wondered how you communicated with someone, if they didn't respond how did you tackle the problem?

 

[Birker2020]

I think I'd try and set out your requirements at the outset with the new person, whether that's regular days or being able to book on a more informal basis. bearing in mind someone who is busy might not be able to respond at short notice because they may have other bookings in the future. You could ask about that, how quickly they might be able to come back to you if you are wanting more of an ad-hoc arrangement. the key is probably in the communication up front.

Yes this makes sense, thank you.

 

[Gallop_Away]

I made a mistake when I wrote what I wrote. I don't need to be there every time, its just every now and then. The ten times he was ridden I probably watched four times.

I just wondered how you communicated with someone, if they didn't respond how did you tackle the problem?

Sorry I posted before seeing your correction on post #9.

I would ask which means of communication is preferable to them. For example my farrier prefers Facebook messages as it's easier for him to keep track of who is who, instead of random numbers texting or phoning.

If it was also a professional I would give some allowances for them being busy, but I think a response within 24/48hrs (depending on what days they also work) is an acceptable time to wait for a response.

I would perhaps give the benefit of the doubt once and send a follow up message, but I can't be dealing with having to constantly chase professionals for a response.

ETA - I agree with the above, set out your requirements at the beginning and then see if you can discuss an arrangement that suits you both.

 

[MuddyMonster]

Right, apologies I must have misunderstood when you said you liked to be there.

If somone doesn't respond, there's not a lot you can do to be honest! I'd send a follow up 'not sure if you got my previous message but am still looking for a rider' type message but after that, would leave it and accept they either can't or don't want to ride for you unless they respond at a later date.

 

[Red-1]

I'll start by saying it is a shame if you need to change riders, the previous one seemed to boost your belief that things will work out OK, and it sounded like the horse was becoming what you want. because of that, I think I would move mountains to retain that rider. Offer more money? Apologise, for whatever? Change the arrangement?

If you need a new rider, then I don't see an issue, with the right person. I used to ride horses for people. I would prefer an initial actual conversation, as opposed to text, so I could gauge what the issues were and what was wanted. I would have got back to someone who texted, but with a request to talk. I would want to make sure the horse wasn't a complete idiot, I didn't charge enough for that! I didn't mind 'problems' but wouldn't have ridden a blind bolter (although actually I did, but he bolted because of some issues that started right at the mounting block so we worked on that first). I wouldn't have ridden one that flipped over backwards either, or one whose owner wasn't straight with me, or whose owner I didn't feel I wanted to work with. That could be one where the owner was not appreciative or maybe was not competent enough for the horse once it had been schooled, or whose horse was not sound, or one who had unreasonable expectations.

Maybe it is putting people off, if you don't want to talk?

Usually, I would ride with the owner present, and defo for the first time.

I used to charge the standard lesson fee, which was £40 plus travelling, and that was now many years ago. Average was £45 once travel was put on. I rode for as long as the horse needed, so usually less time if schooling, a bit more if hacking. I guess the money made me professional, as I may not have been quite as interested to go ride for £20, no travelling! That said, I wouldn't have left people hanging.

For that, the horse would be at least in the box and groomed, usually tacked up as well. At the end I don't mind whipping the tack off, sponging girth area, picking feet and putting back in the box, but would not be expecting to turn out again. I think I would have charged extra for that, maybe an extra £5 to £10 grooming fee (depending on the level of faff)?

If someone doesn't come back to you, I would phone and ask if there was a problem. Texts can be taken the wrong way. A conversation should be pleasant, if it is the right trainer. If it remained a problem, I would guess that they aren't bothered about riding for you or it doesn't fit with their schedule.

When teaching, I lived by my diary. Once it was in there, it happened. So, I would have an initial conversation, meet and see, then diary everything and get it confirmed.

 

[throwawayaccount]

I text my instructor and ask if she’s free to school mine/give lessons and she says either yes/no. I’m usually there to watch but can trust her to be left alone and she updates me after

 

[Birker2020]

I'll start by saying it is a shame if you need to change riders, the previous one seemed to boost your belief that things will work out OK, and it sounded like the horse was becoming what you want. because of that, I think I would move mountains to retain that rider. Offer more money? Apologise, for whatever? Change the arrangement?


Usually, I would ride with the owner present, and defo for the first time.

For that, the horse would be at least in the box and groomed, usually tacked up as well. At the end I don't mind whipping the tack off, sponging girth area, picking feet and putting back in the box, but would not be expecting to turn out again. I think I would have charged extra for that.

If someone doesn't come back to you, I would ask if there was a problem. If it remained a problem, I would guess that they aren't bothered about riding for you or it doesn't fit with their schedule.
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Thanks, it is a rotten shame, she was good (said this loads of times) and based at the yard I'm at so no travel involved. Because she was riding three times a week I had a preferential rate. The horse was pretty much tacked up ready when I was there, or she brought him in from the field and tacked up when I was at work which I was grateful for. I trusted her 100% the only thing I wasn't good at was her riding after he'd had his tea and was settled for the night and I'd gone home, for some reason I couldn't get me head round that. I guess I am a bit controlling but I like to know that when they are settled, that's that. Probably sounds mad but I've always been DIY and a very independent person and that is just the way I am. I suppose it didn't help that Bailey was always so colic prone so maybe that's always in my head, I don't know. Anyway in the end I did concede to that request although it never happened.

I was completely novice in all this getting someone to ride which is why I said if there's any issues do please talk to me. That never happened sadly, no second chances, and I don't feel I can speak to her given the abruptness of it all, its obvious she doesn't want to continue. I'm just so shocked by it all, I never saw it coming.

My horse isn't dangerous, he's just a bit sharp at this time in my life. I'm rusty and have a total lack of confidence because all I can remember is him trying to throw me off in the school when his saddle didn't fit back in October last year and its stuck in my head as the terror I felt at the time, I just can't seem to bypass that, but it is early days, I've ridden him four times since that last time so I need to give myself a bit of a break and stop being so hard on myself! It's meant to be fun! I loved riding him on Sunday when I had my friends with me, I really appreciated them just being there, that gave me confidence and then we tried bringing him in and out of the gate and he was fine whereas the day before he'd objected and started spinning and prancing. But I'd perservered and got him in the school so I'd not given up and was quite chuffed with myself! Small steps and all that...

Its crazy, all the other horses I just got on and rode, out competing within a fortnight, just got on with it. Not sure why I'm struggling with Lari, I guess going from something you know inside out for 17 years to something new is one hell of a shock to the system, especially when you are older and find everything so much harder. And I'm so unfit too! Even though I can swim 25 lengths of the pool without a backward glance and do a 45 spin class without breaking a sweat, 5 mins of trotting and I'm gasping like a dying fish!

 

[bonny]

Thanks, it is a rotten shame, she was good (said this loads of times) and based at the yard I'm at so no travel involved. Because she was riding three times a week I had a preferential rate. The horse was pretty much tacked up ready when I was there, or she brought him in from the field and tacked up when I was at work which I was grateful for. I trusted her 100% the only thing I wasn't good at was her riding after he'd had his tea and was settled for the night and I'd gone home, for some reason I couldn't get me head round that. I guess I am a bit controlling but I like to know that when they are settled, that's that. Probably sounds mad but I've always been DIY and a very independent person and that is just the way I am. In the end I did concede to that request although it never happened.

I was completely novice in all this getting someone to ride which is why I said if there's any issues do please talk to me. That never happened, lesson learnt. I feel its outside interference which hasn't helped, for some reason people feel happy to stir. I don't feel I can speak to her given the abruptness of it all, its obvious she doesn't want to continue.

I agree that if someone doesn't come back or return texts they obviously don't want to know but why would be nice to know.

This is why I need to make sure that the next person will communicate with me.

I have thanked her for all her help with my horse, I was very grateful but I feel totally lost now and I just don't want to rely on someone only to find it ends.

I just know I can't do this on my own and I'm running out of options. Feel so alone.

If there's been a misunderstanding surely it's worth talking to her and trying to sort it out ? Sounds like your paths will cross anyway so why not give it a go ? You have nothing to lose.

 

[throwawayaccount]

Ah Birker, it all seems unnecessarily blown out of proportion for you. Something incredibly simple shouldn’t be a massive task! I wish you were closer.

 

[Red-1]

Thanks, it is a rotten shame, she was good (said this loads of times) and based at the yard I'm at so no travel involved. Because she was riding three times a week I had a preferential rate. The horse was pretty much tacked up ready when I was there, or she brought him in from the field and tacked up when I was at work which I was grateful for. I trusted her 100% the only thing I wasn't good at was her riding after he'd had his tea and was settled for the night and I'd gone home, for some reason I couldn't get me head round that. I guess I am a bit controlling but I like to know that when they are settled, that's that. Probably sounds mad but I've always been DIY and a very independent person and that is just the way I am. In the end I did concede to that request although it never happened.

I was completely novice in all this getting someone to ride which is why I said if there's any issues do please talk to me. That never happened, lesson learnt. I feel its outside interference which hasn't helped, for some reason people feel happy to stir. I don't feel I can speak to her given the abruptness of it all, its obvious she doesn't want to continue.

I agree that if someone doesn't come back or return texts they obviously don't want to know but why would be nice to know.

This is why I need to make sure that the next person will communicate with me.

I have thanked her for all her help with my horse, I was very grateful but I feel totally lost now and I just don't want to rely on someone only to find it ends.

I just know I can't do this on my own and I'm running out of options. Feel so alone.

I would perhaps buy her a gift as a thank you, and ask that, if she ever is able, you would like to continue. I presume it isn't that horse throwing her off or anything, that would prompt me to have another vet visit.

It may be better to take Lari to a training livery set up. You may find it awkward on the yard, if she is there anyway and then you would be able to have a daily rider and tons of support as you took over the riding. I presume you could pay a retainer for the stable? I would bank on a 6 week stay away, have him out and about to shows with the pro too, help with hacking etc. At first, you could go as he is ridden then just have a sit at the end.

As he is an experienced show jumper, and has been in some work, I would fully expect that after a couple of weeks he could go to a show and do the clear round or B Nov or something? It would either give you confidence, or be helpful if you decide to sell.

One consideration, as you feel uncomfortable on him at the moment, are you sure he is comfortable himself? Uncomfortable horses have unpleasant, spiky energy.

 

[milliepops]

If there's been a misunderstanding surely it's worth talking to her and trying to sort it out ? Sounds like your paths will cross anyway so why not give it a go ? You have nothing to lose.

agreed, it's always going to be weird otherwise. i think i'd just fall on my sword and say i'm sorry if xyz has offended you, how it wasn't your intention and how you were pleased with how they were getting on together, even if she turns down the work after that at least you will have cleared the air.

 

[ycbm]

You've written before that somebody is reporting back to her what you write on this forum Birker. Is this the right place for you to be writing about your issues with a pro rider who is based at your livery yard, whose photos you have also posted? It seems likely just to create more trouble at the stables to me ?‍

I'm very sorry not to be more supportive but you seem to be creating a rod for your own back with this thread and that's trouble you don't need in your life.
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[Red-1]

Thanks, it is a rotten shame, she was good (said this loads of times) and based at the yard I'm at so no travel involved. Because she was riding three times a week I had a preferential rate. The horse was pretty much tacked up ready when I was there, or she brought him in from the field and tacked up when I was at work which I was grateful for. I trusted her 100% the only thing I wasn't good at was her riding after he'd had his tea and was settled for the night and I'd gone home, for some reason I couldn't get me head round that. I guess I am a bit controlling but I like to know that when they are settled, that's that. Probably sounds mad but I've always been DIY and a very independent person and that is just the way I am. I suppose it didn't help that Bailey was always so colic prone so maybe that's always in my head, I don't know. Anyway in the end I did concede to that request although it never happened.

I was completely novice in all this getting someone to ride which is why I said if there's any issues do please talk to me. That never happened sadly, no second chances, and I don't feel I can speak to her given the abruptness of it all, its obvious she doesn't want to continue. I'm just so shocked by it all, I never saw it coming.

My horse isn't dangerous, he's just a bit sharp at this time in my life. I'm rusty and have a total lack of confidence because all I can remember is him trying to throw me off in the school when his saddle didn't fit back in October last year and its stuck in my head as the terror I felt at the time, I just can't seem to bypass that, but it is early days, I've ridden him four times since that last time so I need to give myself a bit of a break and stop being so hard on myself! It's meant to be fun! I loved riding him on Sunday when I had my friends with me, I really appreciated them just being there, that gave me confidence and then we tried bringing him in and out of the gate and he was fine whereas the day before he'd objected and started spinning and prancing. But I'd perservered and got him in the school so I'd not given up and was quite chuffed with myself!

Its crazy, all the other horses I just got on and rode, out competing within a fortnight, just got on with it. Not sure why I'm struggling with Lari, I guess going from something you know inside out for 17 years to something new is one hell of a shock to the system, especially when you are older and find everything so much harder.

Ah, you edited after I replied. I went through this, had a super sports horse but other stresses in life. Suddenly, the horse that I would have hugely enjoyed before was not fun at all. Not her fault. Took me far too long to sell, as she was really nice. I was still in the throes of stress when I sold, hence buying Rigsby-cob to get my mojo back. I now have a 'proper' horse again, as in one that could be competitive, but it took a while to be ready for that.

I think it is partly a peri-menopause thing. Apologies if you are younger than I think!

 

[Birker2020]

You've written before that somebody is reporting back to her what you write on this forum Birker. Is this the right place for you to be writing about your issues with a pro rider who is based at your livery yard, whose photos you have also posted? It seems likely just to create more trouble at the stables to me ?‍

I'm very sorry not to be more supportive but you seem to be creating a rod for your own back with this thread and that's trouble you don't need in your life.
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Have I said anything offensive?? I don't believe I have. I have actually come on here to ask for help in finding another rider and where I can avoid going wrong in future.

If people want to cause trouble they will cause trouble as they already have. I am at a loss to know why people feel an incessant need to try and create trouble for others.

 

[Wishfilly]

FWIW, I get the loss of confidence thing, and I think that can sometimes make you anxious in other areas of your life or in how you communicate things. I know sometimes when my confidence is low, ironically it makes it harder for me to organise lessons etc (which is really what I need to boost my confidence, but I don't want to ride in front of someone new, so it all becomes a bit of a vicious cycle).

If you're on the same yard, I would try to clear the air if at all possible- just have a chat and apologise, even if you don't think you are in the wrong! I find apologising often takes the wind out of people's sails a bit.

With someone new, I would try to be really clear about what you want, and what won't work for you and try to organise some regular slots. Ideally, maybe someone who could ride the horse and give you some lessons on him in the future? If you want evenings/weekends, so you can be there sometimes/initially, then you might need to pay a premium for this? Or else perhaps find someone who is doing it around another job/commitment?

That said- and I am trying to say this kindly- if you have lost your confidence with this horse, maybe the time has come to cut your losses? Have you ridden anything else recently, and how did you feel?

 

[Birker2020]

That said- and I am trying to say this kindly- if you have lost your confidence with this horse, maybe the time has come to cut your losses? Have you ridden anything else recently, and how did you feel?

Hi, I have probably ridden three other horses since buying Bailey in 2004. So no, I'm not used to riding other horses. But I certainly don't want to give up on my horse as I am very attached to him. I just need some help from someone and need to know the best way to approach an arrangement/communication.

 

[ycbm]

Have I said anything offensive?? I don't believe I have. I have actually come on here to ask for help in finding another rider and where I can avoid going wrong in future.

If people want to cause trouble they will cause trouble as they already have. I am at a loss to know why people feel an incessant need to try and create trouble for others.

It's not about saying anything offensive. You didn't say anything offensive last time either yet you reported that someone had caused trouble by telling her about it.

Have you said anything critical? Yes, you have, you have criticised a professional rider for being uncommunicative. And as well as showing photos of her you've now also told us all that she is based at the livery where you keep Lari. If I was a pro rider and that was my livelihood I'd be a mite cross with you by now.

My advice to you would be to beg FAT to withdraw this thread and go and talk to the woman face to face.
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[Birker2020]

One consideration, as you feel uncomfortable on him at the moment, are you sure he is comfortable himself? Uncomfortable horses have unpleasant, spiky energy.

Yes he is fine and has an appointment with the vet on the 20th for a follow up.

 

[Birker2020]

It's not about saying anything offensive. You didn't say anything offensive last time either yet you reported that someone had caused trouble by telling her about it.

Have you said anything critical? Yes, you have, you have criticised a professional rider for being uncommunicative. And as well as showing photos of her you've now also told us all that she is based at the livery where you keep Lari. If I was a pro rider and that was my livelihood I'd be a mite cross with you by now.

My advice to you would be to beg FAT to withdraw this thread and go and talk to the woman face to face.
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Wow how to stir and cause as much trouble as possible out of something so innocent. Thanks for that.