Forum Bully Behavior - Observation

russianhorse said:
I think "bullying" is probably the wrong word, but I also have been back reading some old threads recently and thought OMG (make a good read though :o )

There is however a clique bandwagon IMO, especially if one believes a poster may be a troll........and then the chase begins :rolleyes:
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This is a good point, bullying may be the wrong word.

I understand that some people dont have time and dont like the 'fluffy bunny' approach (that is NOT a dig at the people that posted this), I understand that 'fluffy bunny' is sickening.... but if a horse is not being treated in the right way.. then being diplomatic towards an OP may mean that the OP is more likely to stay on the forum and seek further advice...I would rather that... than they feel frightened to ask for further advice.
 
its happened to me on my cross breeds post as mentioned before. i dont think its bullying so much as people thinking they know everything! but, admittedly, it is an instinct to fight back. to have people insulting my pony and calling me a bad owner (or at least implying it), especially since it was completely unreleated to the purpose of the post, did make me very angry. it is difficult not to respond. i know it is horrible and sad, but when people are able to hide behind a computer screen it is inevitable. at least me can now report it :(
 
GinaGeo said:
I, personally, haven't witnessed what I would class as bullying on here. Just opinionated people, who usually express and explain their opinions in a reasoned way. It's these people debating subjects that allows us to form a reasoned opinion of our own, and I do enjoy reading through them. If I feel uncomfortable than I'll go read another thread instead.
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Exactly this. Or you could always start a new thread about how horrible and bullying HHO is to give everybody the chance to moan about HHO/make subtle digs at people who may or may not know who they are/moan about RL/moan about moderators/moan about lack of moderators/moan about cliques/moan about the whole internet/drag up old arguments to pick them up where they were left off/drag up old posts to prove random points/have a few flouncy departures over.......

It depends how bored you are really, and obviously the OP is very bored or has a victim complex.
 
Flame_ said:
Exactly this. Or you could always start a new thread about how horrible and bullying HHO is to give everybody the chance to moan about HHO/make subtle digs at people who may or may not know who they are/moan about RL/moan about moderators/moan about lack of moderators/moan about cliques/moan about the whole internet/drag up old arguments to pick them up where they were left off/drag up old posts to prove random points/have a few flouncy departures over.......

It depends how bored you are really, and obviously the OP is very bored or has a victim complex.
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Ooooo! :p:D
 
LIZ66 said:
However, I feel that this type of behavior is everywhere in the horse world. Horse owners (particularly women) are some of the bitchiest, nastiest people I have met. They seem to delight in telling people how they are doing everything wrong and laugh at people who are new to horse ownership and give them no chance of learning without feeling that they should just give up. My son was a competitive windsurfer for several years and I took him to many events. When i first started I didn't even know how to rig up a board, but there were so many nice people around to help me that I soon learned and then was able to help other newcomers. All the competitors got on really well and congratulated those who had won and commiserated with those who had had a bad day. I have watched young horse riders at local shows and never see this sort of behaviour - i once stood next to a lady i knew who hoped that the young girl in the ring "would fall off and hurt herself to put her in her place" :( if this is the attitude of the parents what hope is there for our youngsters!

.
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This is so true and very sad. I work in the music industry and the same is true there. I was stunned when I took up archery. The people were encouraging and supportive. So different from my other life!

hest said:
I agree that there are some really unkind and unnecessary comments made on this forum.

I wouldn't say it amounts to 'bullying' in the traditional sense of the term, but the criticism (usually directed at younger OPs) makes for uncomfortable reading. Some posters delight in picking fights, and the 'mob' mentality thatthen follows is dreadful too.

I am new to HHO and have read some fantastic posts giving invaluable advice on here. I have also followed light-hearted posts and laughed til I've had tears in my eyes. There are some very knowledgeable and incredibly funny people on here I have discovered, to my delight!
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Agree with this. However,to my shame,(perhaps its my ancestry),I do enjoy reading a bit of a heated debate. It saves me going to the local pub where they have regular fistycuffs!
 
I've been a lurker on this forum since Jul/Aug last year, but as you can see I didn't join until this year. I never had time to post, so didn't see the point in joining until I'd some more time to participate. Anyway, I joined after a thread caught my attention, one that I had a strong opinion about. I finally registered, caught up on the posts I'd missed whilst registering and then didn't post. Why? In the time it had taken me to register a "pack mentality" (which is quite common on forums) had descended and started picking on posters with very low post counts. They were either trolls, or people who knew nothing. :rolleyes:
Rather than add to the fire, I clicked back out of the thread and went back to lurking.

I haven't personally seen bullying on this forum, but that doesn't mean it doesn't or hasn't happened. I just haven't came across it in the threads I've read. I have came across strong personalities, pack mentality, what I refer to as the Matilda scenario (where Matilda's dad goes on about "I'm right, you're wrong... I'm big you're small etc.), differing opinions, trolls etc. etc. However, all of these are common on forums and in real life. I think on forums though, a lot of people feel they can hide behind their computers, they almost forget that it's another person on the receiving end of their comments and they may come across in a manner or say things that they wouldn't find acceptable in real life.
Like someone else previously said, I also hate rudeness and find no excuse for it online or in real life. Yes things can get heated, but some people should remember there's another person on the receiving end, they should treat them how they'd like to be treated themselves and also to act in a manner they'd be happy to act in around their friends and family in real life.

If there is bullying or people feel bullied, I hope they report it as it needs to be nipped in the bud.

I've more I could say on the entire subject but I'm posting from my phone and it's taken me an age to type this. (I also can't access the smilies unless i type them by hand and i don't know them all of the top of my head =/ ).
 
I've definitely seen what I would class as bullying on this forum, and from long-standing active members. The same names often crop up: sometimes they are merely opinionated, and sometimes they are clearly trolling or bullying (IMO).

I've assumed, given that they have thousands of posts to their name, that they will have been reported before and that nothing has been done.
Either that, or they are very friendly with whoever has the power to tick them off.

Just my observations as a long-time lurker.
 
rhino said:
If you see bullying report it. It is an unmoderated forum so unless you report it it will not be dealt with.

However, don't confuse differences in opinion with bullying, as people are perfectly entitled to their strong opinions.
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I agree with Rhino, have never had anything apart from great support from the people on here, everyone has their own views on things freedom of speach comes to mind. But if you really see what you think is bullying then it is up to you to report it.
 
I agrre that the majority of users are helpful,kind and thoughtful,but have noticed a pattern emerge when some people pounce on some posters without really thinking through the consequences of their actions.They are quick to judge others,over assertive and refuse to accept there are opinions other than their own.I have noticed that the negative posters tend to look for posts which seem to give them an excuse to criticise.These people seldom post on the innocuous threads.Myself and other NHS staff experienced this during the public sector pension thread.
 
I sometimes feel intimidated to post or ask for help here as I feel a little self-confident about getting the wrong replies, which is sad because I've learnt a lot from lurking and reading. I do agree that riding in general seems to attract the wrong kind of people. Or maybe it is just the fact that its the hormones.
I often compare riding to scuba-diving of which I and my Mother are definitely nervous nellies about.
Both are risk sports but yet when I go diving, people who have logged 1000+'s of dives are always helpful, they put their enjoyment second to ensuring that we feel safe and are not pushed out of our comfort zones. My mother has even had a divemaster on his holiday take her out, holding her hand and just take her on a slow pootle around the bay.
Compared to that I've been to dressage competitions as a child where I was told I couldn't and shouldn't compete as I was on an RS pony and didn't have all the gear and then lodge official complaints when I won.
My mother recently quit riding after a bad back injury but before, when she went for a gentle hack to recover her confidence was told that "if you're nervous, you have no right to be on horseback!"

No real point to this meandering post, just to agree that there's something about horses that often seems to bring out the worst in people.
 
From a none too bright blokes point of view some of the problems are definatly down to the vast majority of members being ladies.
Before you all try and kill me let me explain. Other posters have talked about windsurfing, archery and diving which are great sports involving inanimate objects. When you involve living things such as horses or All about Dogs it is like coming between a lioness and her cubs and even to a chap like me you just know its gonna end in tears!
So even well intentioned posts can descend into trouble without Troll "help"
I timidly await your replies
 
Dave282B said:
From a none too bright blokes point of view some of the problems are definatly down to the vast majority of members being ladies.
Before you all try and kill me let me explain. Other posters have talked about windsurfing, archery and diving which are great sports involving inanimate objects. When you involve living things such as horses or All about Dogs it is like coming between a lioness and her cubs and even to a chap like me you just know its gonna end in tears!
So even well intentioned posts can descend into trouble without Troll "help"
I timidly await your replies
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Ha. I'm glad you said that. You were much more diplomatic than I would be. In RL I usually sum it up thus

'there is nothing in the world more crazy than a horsey girl!'

But I wouldn't say that on here! Well, not usually anyway :D You should hear what my OH says about girls with horses :eek:
 
Sorry to confuse you Jess.
It was a remark in reply to the fact that my first post on this thread about the irony of how a thread about bullying and cliques was so quickly jumped on .
 
jesstickle said:
huh? Have I missed something? I feel totally lost now!

b_h, nice post. Sums it all up pretty well for me :)
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CC is implying that those posting here are the bullies.

By all accounts, my reply has affirmed to CC that yes, I am a bully, CC unfortunately doesn't seem to have the same sense of humour as me, so that apparently labels me as a bully in CC's eyes.

So to summarise, those who are different, must be bullies.
 
In The Real World said:
Hello there,

I have just been reading through some threads (couple of months old) and Im just astonished at how many Bullies there are out there online:( so much so the poor lady who started one of the threads kept her head down after been beaten to submission by some very opioniated stroopy mare.:mad:

I was BUllied at work 12 months ago - I ended up having to leave my position as my health took a turn for the worse.

I just want to say that - These people need to be stopped and the admins need to take charge! Nasty pasys
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I have seen first hand, many times, how workplace bullying can devastate someone's mental and physical health. More so that I would ever have believed possible.

You need to take some time to heal - you are going to be very sensitive for a while.

Don't worry about the posters on here or anyone else until you have taken care of yourself.

Avoid any threads that make you feel upset and ignore anything you aren't happy with. This place can seem quite scary - but there's lots of help and good advice on here.
And online worlds are always more raw than the real world anyway ;)
 
jesstickle said:
Ha. I'm glad you said that. You were much more diplomatic than I would be. In RL I usually sum it up thus

'there is nothing in the world more crazy than a horsey girl!'

But I wouldn't say that on here! Well, not usually anyway :D You should hear what my OH says about girls with horses :eek:
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Agree totally
 
Strong opinions yes,bullying no and there are some very nice people on here. Not sure what "certain types" you really mean CC:confused::confused:So I must be one of the thicko's, people have talked about.
 
jesstickle said:
Ha. I'm glad you said that. You were much more diplomatic than I would be. In RL I usually sum it up thus

'there is nothing in the world more crazy than a horsey girl!'

But I wouldn't say that on here! Well, not usually anyway :D You should hear what my OH says about girls with horses :eek:
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I bet its the same as what my hubby says! He rides and has a horse, but won't go anywhere near the local riding club or its shows - he says he has spent too long watching me listening to them witter and nit pick! He much prefers the affiliated events as people are nicer (I put it down to everyone being scared! I've never met so many people wanting to chat than in the XC warmups!).

I also think that animal lovers are better with animals than humans! I include myself in that too.:o
 
In The Real World said:
I just felt one person who continually posted negative know it all comments on this thread I was reading seemed like a reall S**t and brought it all back:confused:
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If there is someone you really can't stomach then using the User Ignore button means that you won't see anything they say. I agree that continually negative posters can get a bit waring.

Wagtail said:
I agree with this. There are one or two people who band together and take over threads, though some of the worst offenders seem to have left this forum many months ago.
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Yep, serial thread hijacker here. I do get silly sometimes but no harm is meant. Obviously can't speak for others though but at the end of the day there is always going to be people you don't get on with or who's posting style you dislike :)

maisie06 said:
then I got rude and insulting PM's. What is it with people? If I see a post I don't like, I rarely comment on it, I don't abuse the OP through the PM system.
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I hope you reported them, as that is totally out of order.

With J&L's thread, I failed to see any 'witch hunt' against her, yet it seemed ok for a group of posters to throw personal insults at someone who put a very valid point of view across.

teacups said:
I've assumed, given that they have thousands of posts to their name, that they will have been reported before and that nothing has been done.
Either that, or they are very friendly with whoever has the power to tick them off.
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That's a rather serious allegation you are making... I have never found HHO admin or TFC to be anything other than fair. Better to report if you are genuinely concerned than 'assume' I find.

black_horse said:
BUT a true bully cannot in theory exist on the forum unless their bullying spills into real life where there is a true impact on a persons life outside of the forum.
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Completely disagree. Bullying can be just as bad 'virtually' as 'face to face' only I think the bullies don't maybe realise the impact of what they are saying online. I don't think many people compartmentalise their lives so that one thing doesn't affect others - if you are being bullied anywhere it can take over your entire life.

There are people who use HHO as a Question and Answer/Information forum, and there are those for whom it is the 'HHO community'. With the latter, as in real life, you will get friendship groups, you will get petty fallings out and retaliations, and you will get lumbered with people that you simply can't get on with! And yes, you will get the occasional bully, although I think that scenario is amazingly rare on here.

Can I repeat something I said earlier? This is an unmoderated forum. If you see anything that breaks the terms and conditions, report it otherwise it cannot be dealt with.
 
I have only once read a thread and was concerned that the OP, a young girl, was being bullied. I pm'd her and said I was happy to 'press the button' and report the thread, but she said she was fine and enjoying the verbal sparring :D It is all about interpretation.

HHO and its contributors have helped me no end. There are one or two posters who come accross as rather rude and blunt who have raised my hackles, but thinking about their comments later, they have actually had raised very valid points. It is just their delivery that could be better :D

I used to have a couple of the more abrubt members on user ignore, but I am too nosy and wanted to know what they were saying :D And now I 'know' them a bit better I realise they are trying to help, in their own rude and obnoxious sort of way ;p

When you have been on HHO a while you get to know people and their posting personalities. If you don't like someone, put them on user ignore. I really do think that if an individual was bullying someone on here the rest of us would comment and report.
 
I just want to say that if I received a PM I believed to be bullying, I'd paste it into the main thread and ask for some clarification :D And then I'd report it. Because you don't have to suffer in silence, ever.

I have only ever found this forum to be helpful and supportive. I have received PMs only to offer constructive advice and encouragement, barring one or two. The one or two that weren't got sent back to the sender with "Did you mean this to sound as rude as it did? Please clarify. Thank you!"... Generally got an apology the next day.

I try hard not to be rude. I get so cross sometimes, but I walk away and come back and if it still angers me I'll reply. Then reread, then post. I refuse to argue on the whole. Some posts recently have really angered me in CR, but mostly because I don't believe in arguing for no reason or unprovoked rudeness.

I also have missed this clique accusations. I post reports and get replies and advice. I sometimes think people need to man up just a little...
 
Dave282B said:
From a none too bright blokes point of view some of the problems are definatly down to the vast majority of members being ladies.
Before you all try and kill me let me explain. Other posters have talked about windsurfing, archery and diving which are great sports involving inanimate objects. When you involve living things such as horses or All about Dogs it is like coming between a lioness and her cubs and even to a chap like me you just know its gonna end in tears!
So even well intentioned posts can descend into trouble without Troll "help"
I timidly await your replies
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Yup, earlier I was going to say that driving people were not as bitchy as other horsey types, then I realised that a large number of driving people are not women ;)
 
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