Forum Bully Behavior - Observation

maisie06 said:
Point made = sarcasm!!!!!!
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You poked her with a big bloody stick and then you complain she is sarky? Come on, that really isn't fair! How would you like her to respond to your post. 'Let me change my whole posting style to suit you?' pretty unlikely don't you think?

And Durr. How could I not work that one out?! More lurking on mumsnet is clearly needed. It is good over there, brightens my day immeasurably :)
 
I think that people need to realise if they're going to post threads, then they have to take the good with the bad in terms of the response to those threads. Sometimes the truth isn't something you want to hear, but you need to hear it all the same. If you aren't willing to accommodate other viewpoints than your own, there's no point belonging to a forum.

Similarly, on the other side of the fence, there's a line between offering constructive criticisms that may unintentionally offend the poster, and being down right rude. If you haven't anything nice or helpful to say, don't say anything. Name calling is out of order, as is making assumptions about a poster and stating them as if they are fact. To assume makes an ASS out of U and ME ;)

Sitting on the middle of the fence now; not one person in this world knows everything there is to know about horses, and not every horse can be managed/ridden/treated in the same way - so therefore what works for you may not work for others, the way you do things may not be the way others do things.

If someone opposes your opinions/methods this is not bullying, it's just life! :)

//end sermon

:D:D love this forum, no matter what the problem there's always 101 ways you can try and resolve it after asking for advice here!
 
Shhhh stop being such sheep and beating me to the replies - I no longer have anything witty (or sarcastic) to reply with :mad:
 
sophiebailey said:
I think that people need to realise if they're going to post threads, then they have to take the good with the bad in terms of the response to those threads. Sometimes the truth isn't something you want to hear, but you need to hear it all the same. If you aren't willing to accommodate other viewpoints than your own, there's no point belonging to a forum.

Similarly, on the other side of the fence, there's a line between offering constructive criticisms that may unintentionally offend the poster, and being down right rude. If you haven't anything nice or helpful to say, don't say anything. Name calling is out of order, as is making assumptions about a poster and stating them as if they are fact. To assume makes an ASS out of U and ME ;)

Sitting on the middle of the fence now; not one person in this world knows everything there is to know about horses, and not every horse can be managed/ridden/treated in the same way - so therefore what works for you may not work for others, the way you do things may not be the way others do things.

If someone opposes your opinions/methods this is not bullying, it's just life! :)

//end sermon

:D:D love this forum, no matter what the problem there's always 101 ways you can try and resolve it after asking for advice here!
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Agree with most of this - but disagree with the saying 'if you haven't got anything nice or helpful to say don't say anything'. Helpful - yes, nice - no - sometimes pointing out your opinion is never going to be nice to someone else. Some people just want to hear nice things - and that isn't always the answer.
 
Fii said:
Not overly fat, well covered, and they were bad photos, and it was a work in progress!
Sooo i dont agree, does that make me a bully ;) argumentative, or just airing my view!! :p
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Clearly a bully! I am going off to cry into my wine now! ;):D
 
Moomin1 said:
Agree with most of this - but disagree with the saying 'if you haven't got anything nice or helpful to say don't say anything'. Helpful - yes, nice - no - sometimes pointing out your opinion is never going to be nice to someone else. Some people just want to hear nice things - and that isn't always the answer.
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Should have worded myself better, I meant if you can't phrase it nicely (without resorting to name calling, personal attacks, character defamation etc etc etc ;) phrasing it dramatically but can't think how else to word it!!!) then perhaps don't post until you can offer advice that is somewhat easier to swallow :o I agree though, the truth hurts but if you're not open to hearing it, don't ask for opinions! :p
 
Fii said:
Not overly fat, well covered, and they were bad photos, and it was a work in progress!
Sooo i dont agree, does that make me a bully ;) argumentative, or just airing my view!! :p
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You're just horrible Fii :D One of the most vile ones on here. You're nearly as bad as Shils, that's how bad you are :p :D
 
What did i say before about dragging up old arguments? :p

Maybe someone could post a link to the fat horse thread so we can all rake over who was mean/wrong/bullying/etc?

No flounces as yet though..... :D
 
Fii said:
Not overly fat, well covered, and they were bad photos, and it was a work in progress!
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Fii, I'm not starting that debate again, but a point I failed to get over clearly on that thread was that I was less concerned by the photos, more by her own description of the mare as "fat" as though it was desirable. Fwiw, I wasn't alone in thinking the photos did show an overweight horse, but that was irrelevant to my original point :)
 
Seriously though, OP please just give yourself time to heal after your bullying experience at work. Like I said earlier - I suffered severe depression/anxiety after I was bullied at work, and am still now, three years later, on anti depressants (symptom free for two years now but a wee bit scared to come off them!). The bullying destroyed my life at that point and I nearly lost my house and my job because of the lies and underhand activities being told by my boss. Thankfully she was sacked and I held on for dear life and brought myself back to me!!

It is VERY easy to be sensitive after that experience, but I promise you one thing, given time you will emerge a stronger person and may even find yourself being more outspoken - it certainly happened to me!! :o
 
I can attempt a flounce if you like?

I'm the least flouncy person in the world but am willing to try for the sake of forum harmony?
 
jesstickle said:
I can attempt a flounce if you like?

I'm the least flouncy person in the world but am willing to try for the sake of forum harmony?
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Yay, cards at the ready :D :D

index.php
 
quirky said:
You can definitely see some users who must be in contact by other means as their cronies/allies turn up very soon after they have posted and reaffirm their beliefs. You only have to see x post and you know xx will be following soon after :D.
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× smug smiley ×
Both x and xx turned up in quick succession :D
Chuffed my prediction was correct ;):)
 
First of all O/P sorry to hear of your bullying experience in real life, that is terrible :(

I am a newbie - to horse ownership and also fairly new to this board and at first I was a little intimidated. BUT I find this board to be invaluable to me. It is so full of helpful advice and knowledgeable people. I rarely see what I would describe as really bullying behaviour, just strong opinions and sometimes people can be a bit blunt. But actually bluntness can be a good thing, I have a tendancy to waffle, be too nicey nicey and skirt around a subject. Some would say this is far worse.

The only thing that gets me is occasionally someone will be accused of being a troll when they clearly aren't and this can get in the way of whatever discussion.

I also dislike it when people are jumped on for asking what others consider to be stupid questions about horse care and are then told they shouldn't own horses. Far better they come on here and ask surely?

But generally it is a wonderful and informative place to hang out. If anything I see on here starts to wind me up for whatever reason I take a breath, step back and remember things often look worse in 'black and white'... horsey people in real life can be pretty blunt sometimes and with good reason, when you are dealing with a half ton (or more) of animal, sometimes niceties go out the window.

I am slowly learning not to be overly sensitive to certain comments, not to take things soooo personally, but look for the good advice they might contain. And if they don't contain anything pertinent, I just ignore and move on....
 
Right ok. So if I were really going to flounce (according to forum rules) I would start a new thread but you'll just have to imagine that I have started a thread called, um,

I'm not wasting any more time.. (or, what is the point of forums/I'll say good bye etc)


And then I'd go on to spout something (usually fairly illiterate) umm, I actually don't know.

Told you I was rubbish at it. Especially as I don't usually read the flouncing threads.

OP, I hope you don't mind me being silly on your thread. It isn't funny that you were bullied at work, I was bullied at school. It sucks. You take care of yourself won't you?
 
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