Forum Bully Behavior - Observation

There aren't many sustained bullying campaigns on here IMO, but there are some very unkind people. I was attacked by such a one once, when I was already very low, and it wasn't pleasant. However, this was made up for by the support I got both on the thread and via PM.

Honestly, I feel a little sorry for these sorts of poster - only an unhappy person can be so unkind to others IME.
 
Lolo said:
I also have missed this clique accusations. I post reports and get replies and advice. I sometimes think people need to man up just a little...
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I think a lot of the time, this comes down to the tone in which people read things. One person could read a sentence in a humourous tone, whereas another person could read the exact same thing in an angry tone. It's the joy of written contact, heightened further by perceptions of the writer (true or not).
If you're part of an online forum, I guess you have to accept that things may not be meant in the manner that you perceive it and vice versa.
 
black_horse said:
There are a few posters on here that annoy the hell out of me....but i wont go there ;)

Tomorrow is another day :)
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Yeah, I totally agree- with some people, it's just drama drama drama and constant attention seeking and it does bug the heck out of me ;) I've got them on user ignore now and everything is so much nicer :D Maybe the TFC needs to have something about UI on the 'sign up' bit?! :D :D
 
Oberon said:
I have seen first hand, many times, how workplace bullying can devastate someone's mental and physical health. More so that I would ever have believed possible.

You need to take some time to heal - you are going to be very sensitive for a while.

Don't worry about the posters on here or anyone else until you have taken care of yourself.

Avoid any threads that make you feel upset and ignore anything you aren't happy with. This place can seem quite scary - but there's lots of help and good advice on here.
And online worlds are always more raw than the real world anyway ;)
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Thank you Oberon - u echo my feelings I think its going to take time as I have been left feeling oversensitive :D

I have found reading all the comments really interesting and helpfull and I just wanted to point out as someone mentioned it earlier in the thread - I am 100% not a Fluffy Bunny :D very much in the real world as my forum name suggests :)

I do enjoy reading & lurking but was saddened last night to see a very nice & polite lady bombarded with down talk and generally spoken to and about like a complete idiot! It just enraged me and brought my old problem to the surface :confused:


I really do understand about the whole everyone has an opinion and is entitiled etc but what saw was more like dictatorship :( my flabber has never been so gasted so to speak. The lady wasnt a novice or someone with champagne taste and lemonade pockets - she was purely wanting to follow her dream and the means to do so and she was stamped on like a creepy crawly - she was kindly advised by most but like so many have said its always the minority who spoil it.
 
Dave282B said:
From a none too bright blokes point of view some of the problems are definatly down to the vast majority of members being ladies.
Before you all try and kill me let me explain. Other posters have talked about windsurfing, archery and diving which are great sports involving inanimate objects. When you involve living things such as horses or All about Dogs it is like coming between a lioness and her cubs and even to a chap like me you just know its gonna end in tears!
So even well intentioned posts can descend into trouble without Troll "help"
I timidly await your replies
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Perfect post! You should see what happens on Mumsnet! That lot really let rip and take no prisoners!
 
Goldenstar said:
Mumsnet you are brave enough to go on Mumsnet wow.
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I'm not, they are seriously scary!!!

I have had some fantastic help and advice from this forum and many people will go out of their way to help so all in all I think it is great. The only occasions I have had slightly unpleasant remarks is when people have failed to read the post properly and I do think that happens quite often!

Having been badly bullied at school I know how serious it can be, it has affected the rest of my life without doubt and I would hope that anyone on here who posts alot of aggressive things without always thinking first how it will be taken the other end reads this post and just thinks a bit.
 
Ladydragon said:
I agree... An internet forum shared with totally unknown individuals is hardly the same as the more closed environments of school, work, home relationships etc where any victimisation is personal...

Report dodgy pms...use the ignore feature if you think someone has moved from an opinion to an unwarranted insult...and accept that others have opposing views that may be assertively defined - irrespective of who agrees with them or not... If a post by a random stranger on the internet is going to effect the emotional state of someone and they let it continue into their home life - perhaps an unmoderated forum is not the place to visit...

Rude people exist outside the front door too and it's not that difficult to sort well meant, genuine advice from anything else that pops up...
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Yep.
 
In The Real World said:
Ok whats Mumsnet?

:o
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NOoooo! You are not ready for that yet
duel.gif
.
 
JFTD said:
Well that's absurd. Virtually all of the posts on that thread were complimenting Jadeyandady for putting weight on her mare. I was the one who posted that "fat" (her description of her own mare's condition) was not the same as good. Afair, I didn't comment on her previous posts, I certainly wasn't amongst the vicious response she got then. And as a result it was I who got the sharp end of the forum's more charming members :rolleyes: - a response I still feel was uncalled for and downright offensive. If you're going to use specific examples, Maisy, do try and pick ones which accurately describe what you're talking about :cool:

There are some strong personalities on here, there are some idiots and some complete knobs. Same as life really, except on here you can utilise the user ignore function!
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TBH you are one of the individuals who do seem to delight in making others look or feel stupid. In my humble opinion you can come across as a little sarcastic, although not nasty. It's maybe just that way because on a forum we are reading the typed word and have no vocal expression to go on, but sometimes you can come across as a little harsh. I have neither the time, nor inclination to go through posts and quote your viewpoints, but I have read your replies on some threads and thought - wow, that was a bit uncalled for!
 
maisie06 said:
TBH you are one of the individuals who do seem to delight in making others look or feel stupid. In my humble opinion you can come across as a little sarcastic, although not nasty. It's maybe just that way because on a forum we are reading the typed word and have no vocal expression to go on, but sometimes you can come across as a little harsh. I have neither the time, nor inclination to go through posts and quote your viewpoints, but I have read your replies on some threads and thought - wow, that was a bit uncalled for!
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I don't ever find find JFTD rude or out of order. I find her posts honest and straight talking. She always offers an explanation to her opinions and is the first person on here to take the mick out of herself too which I find endearing in anyone!

The thread in question where JFTD said that fat doesn't mean good ended up in some extremely personal and nasty comments being made to JFTD - all because she happened to suggest it was not good for a horse to be overweight.

The horse in question was fat. No doubt about it.
 
Moomin1 said:
I don't ever find find JFTD rude or out of order. I find her posts honest and straight talking. She always offers an explanation to her opinions and is the first person on here to take the mick out of herself too which I find endearing in anyone!
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Ssh, you'll either get accused of being a sheep now or of attempting to beat down the newer members of the forum :D

HHO's unwritten rules
If you agree with someone you are a sheep
If you disagree with someone you are a bully
If you agree with someone more than once then you simply must be a clique member
If someone doesn't like the way you post even though you don't break any t&c's or make any personal insults whatsoever, you must somehow be a personal friend of TFC/Admin and therefore receiving privileged treatment

Stick to them and you'll be fine ;)
 
Moomin1 said:
I don't ever find find JFTD rude or out of order. I find her posts honest and straight talking. She always offers an explanation to her opinions and is the first person on here to take the mick out of herself too which I find endearing in anyone!

The thread in question where JFTD said that fat doesn't mean good ended up in some extremely personal and nasty comments being made to JFTD - all because she happened to suggest it was not good for a horse to be overweight.

The horse in question was fat. No doubt about it.
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Thanks, moomin, but sometimes people just want a scapegoat - and I make a fine goat :D I do think that sometimes people don't "get" certain types of humour - the downside of t'internet is that you can't always tell when someone's pulling your leg.

Anyway, AIBU to have stolen a neighbour's cat? (<genuine mumsnet thread :p :D )


btw - rhino and I must be in a clique because we hit up the same threads so regularly. I must be in one with moomin too, as I often find myself on the same threads there too... I say, it couldn't just be because we're all on a forum with similar interests, could it? :D
 
rhino said:
Ssh, you'll either get accused of being a sheep now or of attempting to beat down the newer members of the forum :D

HHO's unwritten rules
If you agree with someone you are a sheep
If you disagree with someone you are a bully
If you agree with someone more than once then you simply must be a clique member
If someone doesn't like the way you post even though you don't break any t&c's or make any personal insults whatsoever, you must somehow be a personal friend of TFC/Admin and therefore receiving privileged treatment

Stick to them and you'll be fine ;)
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Oops I shall retire behind a cushion now and sip my wine to avoid typing anymore!! :D
 
Another one to support JFTD...don't always agree with her, but even when I don't, I wouldn't say she is rude or trying to make anyone feel stupid. This coming from a very big fluffy bunny.

I will probably get called an arse licker or something on a similar note...but I'm 40 years old now, I don't need to lick any arses thank you very much.
 
GG Bells said:
Another one to support JFTD...don't always agree with her, but even when I don't, I wouldn't say she is rude or trying to make anyone feel stupid. This coming from a very big fluffy bunny.

I will probably get called an arse licker or something on a similar note...but I'm 40 years old now, I don't need to lick any arses thank you very much.
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Psst, didn't you read my rules. You are definitely a sheep, and if you continue in this manner you will shortly become a clique member :p
 
rhino said:
HHO's unwritten rules
If you agree with someone you are a sheep
If you disagree with someone you are a bully
If you agree with someone more than once then you simply must be a clique member
If someone doesn't like the way you post even though you don't break any t&c's or make any personal insults whatsoever, you must somehow be a personal friend of TFC/Admin and therefore receiving privileged treatment

Stick to them and you'll be fine ;)
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So true. And it's getting worse too!

And WTF is AIBU? Am I being but what is the 'u'?

I'd stick up for JFTD but as I've met her in real life I would clearly just be in her clique so my opinion couldn't possibly be valid!
 
GG Bells said:
Another one to support JFTD...don't always agree with her, but even when I don't, I wouldn't say she is rude or trying to make anyone feel stupid. This coming from a very big fluffy bunny.

I will probably get called an arse licker or something on a similar note...but I'm 40 years old now, I don't need to lick any arses thank you very much.
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I'm sure you're lovely, but I'm very selective about who I allow to lick my arse anyway - I'd be a bit concerned that those bit rabbit teeth of yours (however fluffy) might inflict some pain :eek::eek::eek:

:D


jess, Am I Being Unreasonable? :D
 
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