Forum Bully Behavior - Observation

Ceris Comet said:
I'm sure folk would If they wernt scared of being jumped on.
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I don't think that's true. I think the accused might well want to stick up for themselves but that seems only fair don't you think?

I think the truth is that people like to be snidey snidey. Shame we can't all be a bit more like blokes and say 'I just don't like you' and then get on with it! lol
 
kylee86 said:
Wow what an interesting thread. I had an awful experience on here few months ago i was new to the sight and was being acused of all sorts. it was very hurtful and i didnt like the way my thread was hijacked and to find other threads then talking about me.
luckily once i gathered my thoughts i didnt care what others thought. As what was being implied by other members was not true. my thread waas regarding what i could do with a 10month old colt, this esculated to me being accused of breaking him when he reached 12months of age, and i shouldnt own a colt. then i was being pulled up on my grammar which aagain was directed towards me as a person and had nothing to do with my orignal post. oh and i was also a troll when infact i was a normal person with little knowledge on colts looking for advise.
thankfuly I havnt had any other threads hijacked in this manner
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I remember that. How is your colt, btw? Have you any recent threads/pictures of him?
 
jesstickle said:
I don't think that's true. I think the accused might well want to stick up for themselves but that seems only fair don't you think?

I think the truth is that people like to be snidey snidey. Shame we can't all be a bit more like blokes and say 'I just don't like you' and then get on with it! lol
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Terrible announcement to make: Men can be just as bad!:eek:
 
kylee86 said:
Wow what an interesting thread. I had an awful experience on here few months ago i was new to the sight and was being acused of all sorts. it was very hurtful and i didnt like the way my thread was hijacked and to find other threads then talking about me.
luckily once i gathered my thoughts i didnt care what others thought. As what was being implied by other members was not true. my thread waas regarding what i could do with a 10month old colt, this esculated to me being accused of breaking him when he reached 12months of age, and i shouldnt own a colt. then i was being pulled up on my grammar which aagain was directed towards me as a person and had nothing to do with my orignal post. oh and i was also a troll when infact i was a normal person with little knowledge on colts looking for advise.
thankfuly I havnt had any other threads hijacked in this manner
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Well done for sticking around! There are many on here that will jump on you if they think you are treating horses inappropriately. Often it is due to adding 2 and 2 and making 5. However, that is not always the case and sometimes they highlight something that is very important in the welfare of the horse concerned. It happens to us all. However, you highlight a good point, and one which I think can define where frank, honest and sometimes harsh comments cross over to bullying. That is where instead of attacking the argument of the subject under discussion, they attack the PERSON. Making the odd quip about grammar is fine, but when it is followed by repeated quips and mocking of the person themselves, then that is bullying.
 
Arizahn said:
Terrible announcement to make: Men can be just as bad!:eek:
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Really? All the ones I know are pretty upfront and either just avoid people they don't like (seems sensible enough to me) or make it abundantly obvious they don't like someone! I probably know particularly simple, cave man esqu men! :D
 
I'm really surprised this thread is still live...I dont see the point in people naming and shaming...I think it would just cause some arguments.

The OP and others (including me) have said that 'some' people can come across as rude...or worse. I do not have a specific problem with one person so even if you asked me to name and shame I couldn't anyway.

I personally think the OP was just raising an observation, asking people to be more thoughtful when replying to threads.....can we all go back to normal posts now? I think its a shame this is still running.
 
Parker79 said:
I personally think the OP was just raising an observation, asking people to be more thoughtful when replying to threads.....can we all go back to normal posts now? I think its a shame this is still running.
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Why? It isn't particularly nasty and it's interesting? To me anyway. I find forum dynamics really fascinating, I love threads like this. Much more interesting than talking about bloody 'matchy, matchy' ! :D

I think pretty much everyone understands why OP posted and has said so and offered support of some kind. I hope OP doesn't mind the direction the thread has taken. I think it's a really valid discussion. Especially as some people do think there is bullying on the forum. How are the 'bullies' meant to know they're offending people if it can't be discussed?!

I don't really want people named and shamed, I just don't like the snidey comments.

Wagtail and Lady La La have both brought up things they thought were questionable and so has Maisy06 (I think) and it's all been discussed quite calmly by both sides I think :confused:
 
Well if any one thinks I have bullied some one then please do let me know, it certantly wasnt intentional.

As I think that the posting about certain posters without specifying who is actually worse than just saying who you have had a problem with so that they can either ammend their posting style or ignore the post in future.
 
Arizahn said:
I remember that. How is your colt, btw? Have you any recent threads/pictures of him?
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my colt is now a gelded he was gelded 8 days ago on his 1st birthday hes coming on leaps and bounds we have been puddle hunting this week as he doesnt like water lol. we have been walking over carpets builders bags and had the dogs round him. hes now loading on the box. so hes doing realy well.
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You're right! I have to say that this forum is particularily bad!! I think you get 'strong characters' (to put it nicely) associated with horses. I stopped posting here for years after experiencing some of it for myself. I've gained confidence in real life now, and grown up, so I really don't care what people say to me online :p My tip is to not take any of it to heart, and the bullies are probably lonely old bints with only a computer moniter for company. We should feel sorry for them if anything!
 
thankyou hes slowly starting to blossom still got the gangly legs lol unfortunatly dnt think he would win any coloured classes as he isnt marked on the other side but i dont mind im not massivly into shows but thought it would be good for him to experience a few. thankgod his mane is starting to grow bk after i had to hack it off to rid the lice
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Snickers said:
You're right! I have to say that this forum is particularily bad!! I think you get 'strong characters' (to put it nicely) associated with horses. I stopped posting here for years after experiencing some of it for myself. I've gained confidence in real life now, and grown up, so I really don't care what people say to me online :p My tip is to not take any of it to heart, and the bullies are probably lonely old bints with only a computer moniter for company. We should feel sorry for them if anything!
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Have to agree
 
kylee86 said:
thankyou hes slowly starting to blossom still got the gangly legs lol unfortunatly dnt think he would win any coloured classes as he isnt marked on the other side but i dont mind im not massivly into shows but thought it would be good for him to experience a few. thankgod his mane is starting to grow bk after i had to hack it off to rid the lice
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I think he's a cracker:)Congrats on how far he's come so far.
 
Arizahn said:
I think he's a cracker:)Congrats on how far he's come so far.
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hes very much a character and every body loves him but at the same time weary of him. cnt wait to tke some pics when he has fully blossemed fingers crossed for some good weather for his first bath
 
With you all the way Jesstickle,if people have bones to pick and names to shame,I'd rather have people say than innuendos where things are left in the air and sour other posts. And I do remember the 10 month old colt post and most of us said take him slowly.
 
Kylee, iirc, your thread was definitely a case of 2 and 2 making 5 - and I do believe I apologised for my comments, which were the result of a few posters (myself included) completely misinterpreting a seemingly odd post late in the evening. Your young lad looks fabulous :)
 
JFTD said:
Kylee, iirc, your thread was definitely a case of 2 and 2 making 5 - and I do believe I apologised for my comments, which were the result of a few posters (myself included) completely misinterpreting a seemingly odd post late in the evening. Your young lad looks fabulous :)
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you did indeed apologise JFTD. i just think that my thread made sense to bring up. as things can get very out of hand on forums with some people reading to much into things. I can understand why op brings up bullying as some comments that arnt necesary can be very hurtful if the threads were perfectly inocent i just think some time people need to take a step back and think before they type. as i do now when posting threads.
 
I think it is typical of any written communication. It was the same when email came in. We rely on body language, voice inflection etc when talking to determine the tone of a question or answer and judge the experience etc of a person. It is impossible to do so over type, things come across bluntly in type, someone reacts to it and so on and so on. The other key difference is that when you talk to a group of people and you don't agree with or like someone in the group it is easy to steer yourself away from them but you can't on a thread so it sticks and escalates.

There are some more opinionated and blunt than others on here, for example amymay I find quite confrontational (not picking on you amymay, you often have wisdom to share!) however if something doesn't spark back from the blunter posts then threads don't degenerate into the 'bullying' behaviour where a couple of posters get on a similar line and it then ends up being a long list.

Apologise for the ramblyness! Was just trying to write my thoughts. I often rewrite 'negative' or questioning posts so as not cause offence but others may not feel the need.
 
So everyone has had their say, and reading through the posts very little has been said, If you don't like what you call bullies and several have said why don'y you just name them. Call spade a spade. I hate innuendos of this sort.
 
Echo Bravo said:
So everyone has had their say, and reading through the posts very little has been said, If you don't like what you call bullies and several have said why don'y you just name them. Call spade a spade. I hate innuendos of this sort.
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Agree. Why don't people just grow a pair and say who they think they feel bullied by? Unless they feel threatened in any way then surely there is no harm in raising the issue, even by PM. :confused:
 
Ceris Comet said:
I'm sure folk would If they wernt scared of being jumped on.
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Or because it's easier just to allude and suggest instead of being up front...

kylee86 said:
my colt is now a gelded he was gelded 8 days ago on his 1st birthday hes coming on leaps and bounds we have been puddle hunting this week as he doesnt like water lol. we have been walking over carpets builders bags and had the dogs round him. hes now loading on the box. so hes doing realy well.
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He's looking fab... I think I remember that thread too... :)

Snickers said:
I stopped posting here for years after experiencing some of it for myself. I've gained confidence in real life now, and grown up, so I really don't care what people say to me online :p anything!
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Good on you for realising you needed that break and having a different mind set when you came back... Forum members (in the main) aren't people we'll have to face over the dinner table or a desk for hours on end... There is no need for anyone to carry what an anonymous individual on the internet says into our private life unless we choose to - ie, advice worth following...
 
Echo Bravo said:
So everyone has had their say, and reading through the posts very little has been said, If you don't like what you call bullies and several have said why don'y you just name them. Call spade a spade. I hate innuendos of this sort.
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Yeah, that will help loads :rolleyes: :p

The snidey digs are, well, snidey, but IMO they are preferable to all out war. :D Can't we all just coexist calmly accepting that we don't all like one another?
 
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