Friction with another livery client

Unfortunately I’ve found most yards are the same and there are always politics going on. I don’t know why we can’t just be kind to each other and accept that we are all different and have our own way of doing things! I would personally like my horse to be with others, so maybe a yard where there are mares would be a good option for you? When I go to a new yard I just keep my head down and do my own thing and this seems to work :) Good luck - I hope the lady can be more understanding, otherwise don’t be afraid to make a change to suit you and your girl!
 
I think you need to stop being quite so nice!!! Or move to our little tiny yard, where we would love someone like you.

Sorry but the idea that she would move in to the middle stable, which effectively means restricting your access to both your mare's stable and the storage stable (as presumably you would then both be using the small stable for your stuff) is utterly unreasonable and ridiculous, and you should simply say so.
 
layout - its not unreasonabel with a narrow aisle forhorses tohave a full ((e.g. weave grill) door etc so they cant reach over to interact (which is often a trigger for biting etc. If she plans to make the internal wall between stables a full wall that's also not unreasonable as most horses don't enjoy being stabled next to each other without any privacy- assuming she plans to do it without reducing the size of your mares stable? It's not unreasonable forher to move to a bigger stable if it is empty.
So I'm not sure what the issue is - I presume you are not moving her items to make room to store your stuff in the empty stable? I assume everyone can store things in said empty stable?
 
WandaMare said:
The problem with this sort of dispute is that as soon as you resolve the stable issue (having spent nights awake with your brain in overdrive) the grumpy woman will find another big issue to throw at you. She sounds very territorial, and maybe jealous of your new horse? Does she have some inappropriate opinion / disapproval about why your gelding has moved away? She sounds like a bully and the only way to stop that going on is to confront her and ask her what her problem is. She won't like that because she will know that her answer is going to sound silly.

I think if you are doing anything wrong it sounds as though you are being way too nice and accommodating, she is feeling in control of you and you need to bite back, set some boundaries with her and stand your ground. Is there anywhere else you could move your mare to, the combination of a bully livery who's friends with the YM doesn't sound a pleasant set-up.
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I haven't heard any comment about my mare except calling her "the mare" instead of her name (I know i've done that here but I'm trying to keep names out of it). I've not heard that my mare has done anything nasty either. She put her nose on her gelding's hindquarters when he walked past once (I didn't know she was bringing him in and just wasn't quick enough to tell my mare to step back, I was a bit slow).

On the day I moved my mare in, I did ask "what is your problem with me?" and she said then that she didn't like my attitude. I knew her before as she helps the YM with her horse in the evenings and had otherwise had nice chats with her when my gelding was there.

I don't particularly want to move if I can help it as the set up is very beneficial for my mare (large stable, access to year-round turnout, DIY livery so I can manage everything, come and go as I please, lovely LO had me in for tea and biscuits a couple of days ago, close to home) and I near enough have the place to myself 21 hours of the day.
 
TheRedMare said:
Hi, there's actually one full stable between them currently. She has said she's moving into the middle stable, which will put only one half-wall between them and then, yes, would allow my mare to put her head over into his stable.
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I've not read the rest of the thread, yet, but this seems strange...

She doesn't want your mare to reach over to her gelding, yet she is going to move her gelding into the empty stable that is currently separating them?

So to my mind, one of the two following explanations for the move, either
  1. she has asked the acting Yard Manager if she can move her gelding into that middle stable for some reason (and got permission for it), or
  2. the acting Yard Manager has asked her to move her gelding into that middle stable for some reason.

Now if the middle stable is bigger, maybe she wants more space for her gelding, or wants more space for herself when she's in there grooming him. Maybe she considers it a waste of space just to use it for short-term storage (like a bale of hay overnight). Or maybe, and normally I wouldn't like to think this, but maybe she knows it will put you to an inconvenience to put her gelding near your mare, and that's enough reason.

If the acting Yard Manager has asked her to move her gelding into that middle stable, what could be the reasons? Is there some repair work needed on the stable that the gelding is moving from?
 
SusieT said:
layout - its not unreasonabel with a narrow aisle forhorses tohave a full ((e.g. weave grill) door etc so they cant reach over to interact (which is often a trigger for biting etc. If she plans to make the internal wall between stables a full wall that's also not unreasonable as most horses don't enjoy being stabled next to each other without any privacy- assuming she plans to do it without reducing the size of your mares stable? It's not unreasonable forher to move to a bigger stable if it is empty.
So I'm not sure what the issue is - I presume you are not moving her items to make room to store your stuff in the empty stable? I assume everyone can store things in said empty stable?
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No, I try not to touch her belongings and I mostly just pop "morning items" in the stable so I can muck out quickly in the morning and then put them away when I leave. There's some rugs on the half-wall of my mare's stable.

I think a grill would be reasonable, but I'm a bit hesitant to fork out the money for it when she is the one wanting to move closer but wanting them to be separate (I don't mind if they're next door, unless they showed to harass each other). I'm not sure how a grill would fit over the interior door. I think a new half-door (top door) would have to be fixed into the wall. If wooden boards are put up and a new top half-door, this will barricade my mare in and allow her only one small window.

That said, I cannot say if the LO has approved changes to the stable if I'm entirely open and honest here. It's his property.

Thank you for your thoughtful reply.
 
Sounds rather like this other livery wants the place to herself and her friend - and is making your life as difficult as possible to achieve this! why on earth does she want to move into the middle stable, when you have to walk your mare through this stable to access yours? it makes no sense whatsoever! the whole setup sounds unworkable to me - time to look elsewhere maybe? sadly there are people in this world that are born unpleasant - god knows I've met many over the years! If I were you - I'd be looking for somewhere better. Even if you did manage to work something out (presuming the YM is agreeable), what would this woman's attitude towards you be then?
 
But there is no aisle susie? The stable door to the mare's stable is from the middle stable, so making a full wall will make little difference other than make unless you put a wall up on the stable door too, which essentially will leave her with a dark shut in box and no outlook other than the small window, and the OP will have to lead through the middle stable, containing the gelding in order to access her stable.
 
OP you are on a livery yard with other women. The only thing you have in common is you keep equines. They are just being total b%^ches which is very common on livery yards. You have done nothing wrong and I think you need to start fighting fire with fire and stop bending over backwards for this absolute tool of a women (I personally would have ripped her a new one by now!!)

You are breathing .. that is enough to annoy this tool. I genuinely think you just need to shrug this off, know you wont be friends and concentrate on having a great relationship with your mare. I dont think you should be using any spare stable to store stuff though unless you are paying for it, that would annoy me!

Oh and just for good measure ... 'I dont like your attitude' ... I would have punched her damn lights out and said take that attitude then b&*^h!!!
 
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OP I'm imagining it like this (not to scale obv!)

26992555_10160002269315438_5302594205125387081_n.jpg
 
ester said:
But there is no aisle susie? The stable door to the mare's stable is from the middle stable, so making a full wall will make little difference other than make unless you put a wall up on the stable door too, which essentially will leave her with a dark shut in box and no outlook other than the small window, and the OP will have to lead through the middle stable, containing the gelding in order to access her stable.
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She knows this is unreasonable which presumably why she has said she's going to do it. I tend to agree with cowgirl that she wants the place to herself and the YM, not nice situation at all.
 
Keith_Beef said:
I've not read the rest of the thread, yet, but this seems strange...

She doesn't want your mare to reach over to her gelding, yet she is going to move her gelding into the empty stable that is currently separating them?

So to my mind, one of the two following explanations for the move, either
  1. she has asked the acting Yard Manager if she can move her gelding into that middle stable for some reason (and got permission for it), or
  2. the acting Yard Manager has asked her to move her gelding into that middle stable for some reason.

Now if the middle stable is bigger, maybe she wants more space for her gelding, or wants more space for herself when she's in there grooming him. Maybe she considers it a waste of space just to use it for short-term storage (like a bale of hay overnight). Or maybe, and normally I wouldn't like to think this, but maybe she knows it will put you to an inconvenience to put her gelding near your mare, and that's enough reason.

If the acting Yard Manager has asked her to move her gelding into that middle stable, what could be the reasons? Is there some repair work needed on the stable that the gelding is moving from?
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I don't know, but thank you for the questions to ask the YM at the weekend. It is a waste of space that a horse could be in, but there is no new livery that would like the stable currently. She chose the pony stable herself when I wasn't stabling a horse there (but still paying for a stable) as the little gelding must only be 12-13hh and that stable also lets him look out the window (just, he has to reach, bless him) at the gelding next door.
 
TheRedMare said:
Jaws is such a funny nickname! Cheered me up a bit! <3

Unfortunately her stable is the smallest (as it's the pony stable) and it's not possible for us to swap. As I do everything before anyone else is there in the morning, I only see her after work if we happen to be there at the same time and I try to be as pleasant as possible between doing my evening chores.
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In that case, there is no way I would be happy with their horse in the middle stable, as you would have to walk you mare out through their stable every morning. Makes no sense whatsoever!
 
Just had a thought... If they put up a full wall, the light would also need fixing in my stable as it's broken/needs a new fluorescent strip/bulb. I'd be mucking out in the pitch black. It was like that when I first took on the large middle stable but no one went to fix it because nobody was using the end stable.

Light works in the small stable and the middle stable, which has been okay for me to see by so far as they are nice and bright.
 
Everyone is also currently using the middle stable to store something (rugs, equipment, morning hay/straw etc).

There's no real way to keep the peace, is there? Maybe I have my answer, unless they can tell me that I'm doing X or Y wrong etc so I can fix it and improve the situation.
 
Sounds like an awkward person that there's no pleasing!

Think most larger livery yards have one - your unlucky in your small one that you've got one poor you!
 
It's probably not ideal in terms of fire but I have known three set ups like it so it isn't that unusual in old places.
 
cowgirl16 said:
Just had another thought - thinking on this bonkers layout - doesn't this layout pose a serious fire risk??!!
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You'd have to open two doors to get the left and right horses out, yes. Only one door to open for the horse in the middle stable. It would be no different number of doors to open than releasing horses from an indoor barn in case of fire.

I am happy with the layout due to the lovely size of the stables and ventilation.
 
I've just thought of the best solution for you... Ask the landowner if you can have exclusive use of a field and that field's access, and put up a new stable/field shelter! (wooden, moveable on skids) No other liveries to worry about, and totally your space. The only problem I can think of is that your mare might not be able to see the other horses in their stables at night... Or put up a double shelter and get your other horse back, or get a wee companion... I know, I know, it's now growing arms and legs...

He might go for it if you mention costs of replacing full height walls and doors, repairing lights etc. Worth a try?
 
Do you know What? Just tell her to do one. Also tell her in no uncertain terms not to touch your stuff or your horse.

If the set up doesn't suit either of you then you're both at the wrong livery yard.
 
amymay said:
Do you know What? Just tell her to do one. Also tell her in no uncertain terms not to touch your stuff or your horse.

If the set up doesn't suit either of you then you're both at the wrong livery yard.
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I agree with you.

I mean it's all very well being nice and diplomatic and trying not to offend anyone, but sometimes you have to just flipping well stick up for yourself.
 
This is so ridiculous.
The only conclusion that can be drawn is that she is trying to force you out.... It wouldn't surprise me if she has started to rent both other stables so that you don't have any storage. If she thinks your mare is going to harm her pony then moving him closer is the action of an idiot.
You need to have this out with all parties present.
 
What about putting mesh beteen them? So they can sniff but not chew each other? You might like them interacting but the geldings owner doesnt and thats her call.
 
HeyMich said:
I've just thought of the best solution for you... Ask the landowner if you can have exclusive use of a field and that field's access, and put up a new stable/field shelter! (wooden, moveable on skids) No other liveries to worry about, and totally your space. The only problem I can think of is that your mare might not be able to see the other horses in their stables at night... Or put up a double shelter and get your other horse back, or get a wee companion... I know, I know, it's now growing arms and legs...

He might go for it if you mention costs of replacing full height walls and doors, repairing lights etc. Worth a try?
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Tempting. A new wooden stable directly across from them would be lovely... maybe one for the future!

I wish I could have my boy back but he is travelling to a lovely new home on Friday. I wouldn't get another horse yet due to the friction, but maybe in a couple of years depending on money.
 
cobgoblin said:
This is so ridiculous.
The only conclusion that can be drawn is that she is trying to force you out.... It wouldn't surprise me if she has started to rent both other stables so that you don't have any storage. If she thinks your mare is going to harm her pony then moving him closer is the action of an idiot.
You need to have this out with all parties present.
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I absolutely think she is trying to get you to leave.
 
cobgoblin said:
This is so ridiculous.
The only conclusion that can be drawn is that she is trying to force you out.... It wouldn't surprise me if she has started to rent both other stables so that you don't have any storage. If she thinks your mare is going to harm her pony then moving him closer is the action of an idiot.
You need to have this out with all parties present.
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She's hasn't rented a second stable - confirmed that this week.

I admit I do feel forced out but I feel so petty saying that. I just want to enjoy my horse without this and let her continue to settle in.
 
stormox said:
What about putting mesh beteen them? So they can sniff but not chew each other? You might like them interacting but the geldings owner doesnt and thats her call.
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Yes I'd be open to mesh. I don't mind them interacting but I'd rather have the middle stable free as long as nobody is renting It, for all of our convenience in accessing the stables. It also gives the horses space from each other which is nice.
 
the trouble is that mesh/bars all bring their own problems (we have a mesh talk window, it's nothing but trouble and the mare rakes her teeth up it!)
 
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