funniest thing youve ever seen a novice do

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narkymare

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and im not having a go - im a novice and still cringe when i remember my first lesson a while ago
Id not ridden in years and went for a group lesson with my 12 yr old daughter and other little kiddies (im 43)
Felt a plonker anyway but I was doing fine - bit out of puff with lots and lots of rising trot but I forced myself to do it
All went well till i dismounted and found my legs had gone totally dead, I had to grab the poor unsuspecting instructor to stop me collapsing in a heap and tehn attempt to walk the horse back to his stable, (past all the sniggering mums), before trying to casully stroll back to my car looking like a jellyfish who'd downed a full bottle of vodka
Can giggle now - but at the time i nearly died -
Whats your most embarrassing moment - or any you have witnessed?
 
I guess the most cringe worthy thing I've ever seen wasn't from a total novice but quite an inexperienced riding school rider, giving Mr Hester esq. a lecture on how to get a horse to 'go on the bit' and Carl just letting her... Arrrgghhh I'd would have loved to see her face when she found out who he was...

Blitz
 
i remember when i first started riding, a riding school horse i was on was being very flighty the instructor told me to stop and jump off(as he was going to get on). i was a little bit scared and ended up jumping off so quickly i ended up on the floor :o
 
I'm not able to tell you any that I have witnessed (so many, but unprofessional).
However, I've done a few beauties myself.
For example, I was fittening an eventer doing roadwork in the pouring rain, returned to the yard with my WPs, and tried to dismount, only to have my long wax jacket catch on the back of the saddle, leaving me hanging in mid air with my feet waving futilely.
My WPs did rescue me, after they had spent quite a long time sniggering. :D
S :D
 
Shilasdair said:
I'm not able to tell you any that I have witnessed (so many, but unprofessional).
However, I've done a few beauties myself.
For example, I was fittening an eventer doing roadwork in the pouring rain, returned to the yard with my WPs, and tried to dismount, only to have my long wax jacket catch on the back of the saddle, leaving me hanging in mid air with my feet waving futilely.
My WPs did rescue me, after they had spent quite a long time sniggering. :D
S :D
Click to expand...

I did that on 13hh Mousey, but with a poloshirt. Not good, hanging 3 inches above the ground :( ;)
 
I have seen a friend after stopping off at the pub for half a lager climb back on and land behind the saddle unable to get back into it. Cue half the pub coming out to help her while I was in fits of laughter. Her horse truly is a saint.Had it been most horses I think the riders would have hit the deck.
 
I went to get on and put my right foot in the stirrup swung my leg over to find no head or neck...just a big hairy cobs bottom

Didnt I feel like the numpty.
 
I had just finish dressage on Benson at a ODE, went to dismount and got my cream jods caught on his saddle (no idea how I managed it!) and ripped them right down the front of my rather ample stomach! Now, being on the larger side, the tack shop at the event didnt sell my size in jods, so I had to do the sj and xc with ripped jods, looking at the photos on the web, its all, and I mean all ,clearly visable!
 
benson21 said:
I had just finish dressage on Benson at a ODE, went to dismount and got my cream jods caught on his saddle (no idea how I managed it!) and ripped them right down the front of my rather ample stomach! Now, being on the larger side, the tack shop at the event didnt sell my size in jods, so I had to do the sj and xc with ripped jods, looking at the photos on the web, its all, and I mean all ,clearly visable!
Click to expand...

LMAO poor you,
 
LOL @ us all!

Not novicey, but me totally embarrasing myself....
I was riding out the other week and had popped my polos in my jodphurs pocket, we warmed up with a long walk followed by trot and then steady canter down Rotten Row. As we reached the end I sat back in the saddle only to have the most uncomfortable feeling in the groin area.

Yes, my pocket lining had a tear and my polo's had slipped down to my.... lady area!

So, riding along past where the big festival stage was being set up for the Hyde Park festival (ie loads of construction type blokes) I had to dig right deep into my jods, to re-produce said polos! CRINGE
 
haha - well ill never ride ina buttoned up shirt again!
just last week i dismounted - must have bent too close and ripped every button off the top half of my shirt :D
 
Trying to prove to new instructor that I'm not a complete over-the-hill-numpt whos gone out and over-horsed herself with a daft DWB.

I survived the lesson. Hopped off in what I thought of as a calm and efficient manner, only to fall backwards onto my ar$e and then my back :eek::rolleyes::cool:.

Hurt my cocyx and found riding painful for weeks after lol.
 
we had a livery who had come up to a jumping session we were doing for my husband on his very nice 4 yr old, herself and my son. Her non-horsey husband came up to video her. After the lesson, we were putting the jumps away, and she asked to put her husband on our 4 yr old as he was so placid. We said yes, and she led him round a bit. Two moments later I turned round, and the silly thing had let him go off the leadrein in trot. He was nervous, as the horse was 17h, so he gripped tight with his legs - which the horse took for the aids to canter. He gripped even harder, so the horse went even faster, and did about 15 laps of the school before we could calm him down and catch him! Her husband jumped off before I could tell him to take BOTH feet out of the saddle, so tripped himself up, landing in a load of dirt with his left foot still in the stirrup. He got up and ran off to his car, never to be seen at the stables again, ever!
 
Cavblacks said:
LOL @ us all!

Not novicey, but me totally embarrasing myself....
I was riding out the other week and had popped my polos in my jodphurs pocket, we warmed up with a long walk followed by trot and then steady canter down Rotten Row. As we reached the end I sat back in the saddle only to have the most uncomfortable feeling in the groin area.

Yes, my pocket lining had a tear and my polo's had slipped down to my.... lady area!

So, riding along past where the big festival stage was being set up for the Hyde Park festival (ie loads of construction type blokes) I had to dig right deep into my jods, to re-produce said polos! CRINGE
Click to expand...

haha - ive done this with carrots!!!!!!! i hid some inside the back waistband of my joddys to give him some once weve returned to field - never again. carrots bloody hurt when they get down there :)
 
Cavblacks said:
LOL @ us all!

Not novicey, but me totally embarrasing myself....
I was riding out the other week and had popped my polos in my jodphurs pocket, we warmed up with a long walk followed by trot and then steady canter down Rotten Row. As we reached the end I sat back in the saddle only to have the most uncomfortable feeling in the groin area.

Yes, my pocket lining had a tear and my polo's had slipped down to my.... lady area!

So, riding along past where the big festival stage was being set up for the Hyde Park festival (ie loads of construction type blokes) I had to dig right deep into my jods, to re-produce said polos! CRINGE
Click to expand...

I've done this with my mobile phone... At least it wasn't set to vibrate...

Blitz
 
narkymare said:
haha - well ill never ride ina buttoned up shirt again!
just last week i dismounted - must have bent too close and ripped every button off the top half of my shirt :D
Click to expand...

Yes, this is the reason why I now always take my lovely navy show jacket off before I dismount. I scraped it down the saddle during a dismount and lost ALL the buttons. First time out in it :rolleyes:

I have seen somebody who claimed to be experience and having owned horses put a bridle on backwards. Did it up and everything, hadn't a clue that the browband was not the throatlatch :rolleyes:
 
Hi,
When I used to work at a riding schoold had a few funny things happen:

* A child making a full stable up with hay, this happeneed several times!
* A child putting a saddle on so far back, getting confused why it could not do up round horses male anatomy!
* A child pointing out that a pony had a growth, again ponies male anatomy!
* I refered to a pony as a mule, as it was stubborn. Child actually thought it was a mule!
 
My husbands oldest daughter when out at a show jumping event, went to mount her loan horse, put her foot in the stirrup, swung her leg over and then somehow managed to end up sat in a pile of poo on the ground on the opposite side of said horse.

I couldn't help but almost wet myself laughing!
 
Used to ride at a stable where the YO was an absolute witch. She used to put the fear of god in to you.

Was back visiting a while ago and watched a young girl go off to poo pick a field full of 20 horses....with just a scoop and no wheelbarrow! Poor lass, we all laughed our arses off.
 
lizness said:
Hi,
When I used to work at a riding schoold had a few funny things happen:

* A child making a full stable up with hay, this happeneed several times!
Click to expand...

This doesn't really come under the heading novice as the child knew what he was doing, but a child I know decided his pony didn't have enough bedding and proceeded to build a high bank along the middle of his stable (where the bed met rubber matting flooring). Wouldn't have been so much of an issue exept for he used bedding out of another livery's stable to do it, leaving them with almost none by the time we found out what was going on :eek:

I have seen children tacking up a pony and putting the saddle in the middle of the horse's back. Well, all the pony story books showed the girth around the middle of the belly.... can't argue with that logic really :D
 
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Used to livery at a riding school, owner was stood at the office door trying to persuade a Mum to start having lessons.

As I was mounting my pony, who was 4 at the time, the YO's Dad slammed his landy door just as I was about to park my backside in the saddle. Pony shot forward, I landed behind the saddle and was elegantly dumped on the floor whilst the pony shot past the open mouthed Mum back to the safety of his stable.
The Mum decided not to take up riding :D
 
I've seen a novice horse owner attach the stirrup leathers to the bars by lifting up the saddle flaps so the leathers just poked out the bottom by the girth
 
Not a novice but me a somewhat experienced horsewoman of 40 years standing! Just shows horses are a great leveler!

I had just finished my first Western Lesson and acquitted myself quite well, took both feet out of the stirrups gave a great leap and promptly found myself hanging from the under-wiring of my bra from the horn.

What made it worse was my t-shirt was over my head and my not so small puppies had popped out from my under-wiring.

My instructor kept a totally straight face fetched me a bucket to stand on so I could free myself and just said " better work on the dismount"
 
My daughter and I went to look at a pony with a lady for her son, she couldn't get the bridle on and put the saddle on back to front! she honestly didn't have a clue, she'd even been on a horse owners course.......worrying.
 
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