funniest thing youve ever seen a novice do

This is more of a personal embarassing moment but thought I'd include it anyway. Was having a lesson with a well known instructor one winter and as it was cold I had put a pair of rambo full length chaps over my cream jods. All was fine until I dismounted - my feet hit the ground and my chaps hit the deck round my ankles! :o The clip at the waist must have come undone whilst I was riding and the cream jods made me look like my clothes had just fallen off and left me in the nude. VERY embarassing lol :eek:
 
I'd been working for almost 4 years at the yard and my riding was above novice standard. Had got the ride up and on and off to the arena with no mishaps, everyone's girth sorted, stirrups ok etc.

Went to get my ride for a private lesson - synthetic saddle on wide cobby type horse. Put one foot in stirrup on mounting block and ended up on my arse in front of the YM, assis YM and one of the other instructors. Had failed to check the girth....

It was the joke of the yard for weeks after :o
 
As I child I was one of those who bedded the horse down in hay.........

Also, someone new turned up at the 'rival' yard down the road from my old one (when I was a teenager), and really thought she was the bees knees. We hear all about how great she was, how she had a lovely ex racer etc etc.

Never saw her though until we bumped into her at the sales one day, wearing her half chaps back to front!! Which she obviously did allthe time judging by the wear down the inside of her leg, where the zip was.....

Friend put a hanging snaffle on her loony arab for dressage - upside down, and later fell off. My non horsey mum said 'I didn't think people fell off in dressage....' I'm sure friend did it on purpose - greater leverage.
 
Was a few years ago, but my ex boyfriend who doesn't know what end of a horse is what picked up a copy of HH and read about over rugging, so next time we were up the yard he blissfully quoted to me that I was over rugging my horse!

Needless to say, I gratefully thanked him for his kind advice then restricted all man priveledges for a while and told him not to read any horse magazine again!

(nor to put my stable rug on him to turn him out in winter!!!!!) Bless at least he tried! :)
 
Minnies_Mum said:
I've seen a novice horse owner attach the stirrup leathers to the bars by lifting up the saddle flaps so the leathers just poked out the bottom by the girth
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That's hilarious and made me laugh out loud!!!

I have seen someone attach a martingale to the back of the noseband (as oppose the reins)... Poor horse was overbent and wondering what the hell was going on!
 
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once i was at rding school and my leader to jump off and i didnt undersatnd why he told me to so i just did it slowly and i nearly got rolled on!
i was at a differnt RS when the owners son gav me a leg up and i flew over the side and landed on the floor!
i was tring out a pony and the guy was gonna give me a leg up insed he picked pe up around the waist and plonked me on top lol it was quite funny at the time :P
 
I always have issues with leg ups

First time bareback ended up on other side of pony

Couldn't get back on after bobbing apples just ended up riding to finish line standing with one foot in stirrup at side of pony ( if that makes sense)

Not horse related but funny - Rather nice looking boy from work picked me up sat me on a high drystone wall took my quad and drove off ( He did come back about 5 mins later)
 
When I began riding I put saddle on backwards, theres also been a few times when I leave the yard to hack and I have forgot my hat or forgot to do up the bridle
 
Minnies_Mum said:
I've seen a novice horse owner attach the stirrup leathers to the bars by lifting up the saddle flaps so the leathers just poked out the bottom by the girth
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Well this will make you and heidirusso laugh some more, I did this last week :) My horse managed to get the stirrup caught on the field gate I was opening and pulled the stirrup off. I then proceeded to put it back on as you've described, it was only when my friend pointed it out that I could see where I had gone wrong - I wonder if I would have noticed before I tried to get on.

Also, at the same gate, and only yesterday, I managed to put my horse's reins back over her head but crossed over. Luckily she is very forgiving and we were just returning to the yard so I didn't need to 'steer' at all - good job 'cos the right rein was on the left and vice versa.

Dismounting is also a source of hilarity, never has been my strongest point, I managed to get stuck half on/half off the other day, eventually wriggled off.

Oh, it is a constant source of amusement being a novice :)

Made funnier by being 46yrs old and not really caring who laughs along with me :)
 
No funny but very worrying....a woman i knew at an old yard used to feed her pony (a fell and a very good doer) a bit of everything that she ate, sandwiches, chocolate, donuts anything. He would also get 2 HUGE feeds a day and she would complain that he was bad to handle ride ect!! Drove me mad..she eventually sold him and has now got an equally fat pony that never gets ridden!

On a funny note i have seen someone do a whole dressage test with their reins crossed over...the look on their face the whole way round was priceless...she actually ended up doing really though and good on her!
 
Chavhorse said:
Not a novice but me a somewhat experienced horsewoman of 40 years standing! Just shows horses are a great leveler!

I had just finished my first Western Lesson and acquitted myself quite well, took both feet out of the stirrups gave a great leap and promptly found myself hanging from the under-wiring of my bra from the horn.

What made it worse was my t-shirt was over my head and my not so small puppies had popped out from my under-wiring.

My instructor kept a totally straight face fetched me a bucket to stand on so I could free myself and just said " better work on the dismount"
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That is bloody hilarious :D:D, an absolute classic :D:D
Sorry Chavhorse but I haven't laughed so much in ages :eek:.
 
when i was young i had a little 13.2 section C pony, and i could never get the saddle on in the right position as it was always to far bak. so one day i said to myself, well if im putting it on too far back il eggsagerate (sp) it. so silly me put the saddle on my ponies NECK and strapped the girth around her neck...... i walked the pony out and then tried to figure out, right how do i get on?? :?... hahaha i was only about 6 at the time. looking back was quite funny :P. ( for those consernd... i didnt get on. haha).
 
Not novice related but funny - moved my Welsh A to the livery yard Dan's on. Decided to take him into the school for a bit of a laugh and make him do some work as he''s a bit on the round side - enough that bareback (he doesn't have a saddle!) yes, he wobbles. I got on and my friend was trying to get me to canter.
This pony doesn't canter, he broncs & bolts, no thanks!
So I told her she could have a go :D
She managed to clamber on (he's a huge 11.1hh xD) and Dimp took about 2 steps before she wobbled off sideways :o I know he was fat, but he's not THAT bad!
She did managed to stay on a bit longer the 2nd time but never did get him to canter, in fact, I don't recall her trotting..... ;) And she can ride very well, just not on my podgy little pony it seems :p
 
hannabanana said:
When I began riding I put saddle on backwards, theres also been a few times when I leave the yard to hack and I have forgot my hat or forgot to do up the bridle
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OMG, me too-I decided I was ready for a share (not!) and the owner kindly told me to go and learn some more stuff before I came near her again! :o Personally, I would have taught someone how to do it, but fair play, my RS never taught me, horse was always tacked up and ready for me.
 
I once saw a girl put a horses rug on backwards she fastened the fillet string across the chest and fastened the front chest buckles under the tail!!! I could hardly help her for laughing!! shame on me. what was funnier was the rug fit quite well the wrong way round.
maybe we are all doing it wrong and she had the right idea.
Teresa
 
OK, not novicey, just VERY drunk (at the time)

Was in stables (open barn) with pal (plus much wine - in plastic pint cups)
Decided that one of my 3 yr olds should maybe be backed.

So the plan was - I would launch myself from the gate, gather some speed, take a sharp 90` turn (not sure why..), gathering speed the entire time, then launch myself onto my horse (16.2HH), who was standing eating hay and minding her own business.

So, got off the gate, gathered some good speed, got round the 90` turn with some difficulty but still upright, was on the final run towards the horse and realised I still had wine in my hand......

OK, there was no going back, held wine aloft (not going to spill it - no way..), get ready for the springbox jump, then darkness.....

I forgot to jump.

Went face first into the horses side, bounced off her like a weeble and landed on my arse about 4 foot away..

Horse - looked at me, didnt move a foot, took a mouthful of hay and turn the other way...

but hey, I still had my wine intact...

So if anyone would like their horses backed.

Incidentally, I eventually backed her and she competed at Badminton this year!!!! (not with me lol)
 
My friends mother (she wont mind me telling every1) started sprinkling the shavings by hand (like feeding seeds to chickens) when asked to put a bale down! Was swiftly told by my friend that the horse did require the whole bale and not just a handful!! And a separate incident, friend went on holiday leaving new horse with the parents to look after - this resulted in parents not knowing what the horse looked like and walking round the field with his passport trying to match the markings to it!! Legend!
 
Cavblacks said:
LOL @ us all!

Not novicey, but me totally embarrasing myself....
I was riding out the other week and had popped my polos in my jodphurs pocket, we warmed up with a long walk followed by trot and then steady canter down Rotten Row. As we reached the end I sat back in the saddle only to have the most uncomfortable feeling in the groin area.

Yes, my pocket lining had a tear and my polo's had slipped down to my.... lady area!

So, riding along past where the big festival stage was being set up for the Hyde Park festival (ie loads of construction type blokes) I had to dig right deep into my jods, to re-produce said polos! CRINGE
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:D lol!
I did this xc schooling, put my slim camera in my inside pocket and didnt know the pocket was ripped untill i sat on my bum after jumping, so discretly i tried to retrieve it and my male instructor gave me such a funny look!! i had to explain! lol
 
I once 'gracefully dismounted' onto the wall at towerlands indoor arena at a christmas show.

Commentator kept making jokes about it in my next class :/

I was asked to tack up someones horse for a jumping lesson and I put the tendon boots on back to front lol (I had only been riding a year and never seen boots before)

And my dad calls nevada's travel boots shin guards!
 
guido16 said:
OK, not novicey, just VERY drunk (at the time)

Was in stables (open barn) with pal (plus much wine - in plastic pint cups)
Decided that one of my 3 yr olds should maybe be backed.

So the plan was - I would launch myself from the gate, gather some speed, take a sharp 90` turn (not sure why..), gathering speed the entire time, then launch myself onto my horse (16.2HH), who was standing eating hay and minding her own business.

So, got off the gate, gathered some good speed, got round the 90` turn with some difficulty but still upright, was on the final run towards the horse and realised I still had wine in my hand......

OK, there was no going back, held wine aloft (not going to spill it - no way..), get ready for the springbox jump, then darkness.....

I forgot to jump.

Went face first into the horses side, bounced off her like a weeble and landed on my arse about 4 foot away..

Horse - looked at me, didnt move a foot, took a mouthful of hay and turn the other way...

but hey, I still had my wine intact...

So if anyone would like their horses backed.

Incidentally, I eventually backed her and she competed at Badminton this year!!!! (not with me lol)
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what is it about vaulting & alcohol - a freind decided - after quite a lot of wine that i should learn how to vault on a horse - got the run up going well - smack into horse - horse did the polite glanace they do when they are slightly embarrased on your behalf - 3 more attempts & by the end was laughing so much that didnt vault but slid under horse - would all have been less tragic if friend & i didnt have a combined age of nearly 100.
dont seem to have improved much either - competing this week end - took horse back to trailer - sorted out tack - hung up hay net - wandered off - came back 45 mins later to find that i had forgotten to actually attach horse to trailer - its a good job she is long suffering & well behaved:o
 
Ages ago my sister was leading her pony and I offered to check her tack for her...she told me rather huffily that she 'knew what she was doing' and those kind of things :)

Riding in the arena, 5 minutes later I see her on the floor so trot over to see what's wrong and she's sitting on the floor, pony standing and watching her..the saddle protruding from the side of said pony :D I laughed so hard at her..funniest thing was she got extremely angry which made it funnier :D Apparently it happened as she checked her girth :D
 
junglediva said:
when i was young i had a little 13.2 section C pony, and i could never get the saddle on in the right position as it was always to far bak. so one day i said to myself, well if im putting it on too far back il eggsagerate (sp) it. so silly me put the saddle on my ponies NECK and strapped the girth around her neck...... i walked the pony out and then tried to figure out, right how do i get on?? :?... hahaha i was only about 6 at the time. looking back was quite funny :P. ( for those consernd... i didnt get on. haha).
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hahahahaha poor poor pony :p, but very very funny

guido16 said:
OK, not novicey, just VERY drunk (at the time)

Was in stables (open barn) with pal (plus much wine - in plastic pint cups)
Decided that one of my 3 yr olds should maybe be backed.

So the plan was - I would launch myself from the gate, gather some speed, take a sharp 90` turn (not sure why..), gathering speed the entire time, then launch myself onto my horse (16.2HH), who was standing eating hay and minding her own business.

So, got off the gate, gathered some good speed, got round the 90` turn with some difficulty but still upright, was on the final run towards the horse and realised I still had wine in my hand......

OK, there was no going back, held wine aloft (not going to spill it - no way..), get ready for the springbox jump, then darkness.....

I forgot to jump.

Went face first into the horses side, bounced off her like a weeble and landed on my arse about 4 foot away..

Horse - looked at me, didnt move a foot, took a mouthful of hay and turn the other way...

but hey, I still had my wine intact...

So if anyone would like their horses backed.

Incidentally, I eventually backed her and she competed at Badminton this year!!!! (not with me lol)
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I have just had the biggest glare for laughing in the office :p oh and Badminton Wow :D
 
oh yeah i have another one i was at a show and ihad forgotten to do my girth right up so i got one foot in the stirrup and put my weight in and then the saddle rolled underneath his belly!!! i thought that only happendin cartoons lol
 
I had my poor dad on my tb ex racer who was being a saint, he was so well trained on the lunge that he would do what ever I asked, so sent my dad off walking and trotting around and he was doing really well, he wanted a canter so horse was great and did a few strides and then back to trot he wanted a slightly longer one so popped him into canter and he was going streadily then it was a massive school and he went up to the far corner and as my dad was unbalanced he sped up round the corner and before I could get him back to trot my stupid father vaulted off the horse and landed in a heap the poor horse wondered what he had done wrong!!!
 
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