Has anyone ever made your life hell on a livery yard?

[dollymix]

I'll never understand why it's so hard for some to be honest, nice, decent people! Kindness, manners and consideration COST NOTHING. There is also nothing to be gained from being smiley smiley to someone, whilst stabbing them in the back at the same time!

I have learnt the hard way about trust, but for reasons already mentioned on this thread, I wont air the dirty laundry here as you never know who is watching lol.

But needless to say, You do at some point learn who your true friends are and who you can trust. It's a hard lesson but hopefully it's one I'll remember for the rest of my life.

Chin up, and get looking around now for alternative livery. sometimes a fresh start does you the world of good.

 

[FestiveFuzz]

B1tching via facebook/text etc. isn't "standard" in this day and age, it's a choice! Personally I prefer to keep my mouth shut if I have nothing nice to say and it seems to work as I've never had any issues on a livery yard.

Obviously there are occasionally "mean girls" such as the ones Glamourpuss and EquestrianFairy seem to have encountered but in the situation you've described it sounds like you're both as bad as each other and I'm not surprised the YO gave you all marching orders.

 

[luckyoldme]

yes and its the best thing that ever happened.
I got in my car knocked on doors and eventually found somewhere perfect.
Jealousy is most definately the cause in most cases as someone else has said on here, and most of the time once these jealous cows have got a bee in their bonnet there is no going back.
My horse is at a lovely small holding now with one of the kindest men i have ever met, i have fantastic hacking and 24/7 turnout with a beautiful relaxed and settled herd. there are a couple of other liveries there too who had similair experiences before and i can honestly say we are just a happy little group of people, gratefull for the delightfull place we have found for our horses.
Leave them to it...because once you go they will have a couple of weeks gossiping and bitching behind your back and then they will find someone else to vent their venom on.

 

[gembear]

I have had an incident where things were made awful for me on a yard. Amongst other things :
- she called competitions I'd entered pretending to be me & withdrew me. I wouldn't know until I rang for my times & then it would be too late.
- Pretended to be me & called my vet for an emergency colic on my horse on a Sunday when the horse was fine.
- tipped buckets of water into my horses bed late at night.
- Took photos of my horse's, not very bad & being treated, mud fever & sent them anonymously to the RSPCA
- let down the tyres on my bike
This was all done secretively & the whole time she was offering a shoulder to cry on & offering help to me.
However she finally slipped up when she involved the YO & tried to implicate me in bitching/rumours that couldn't possibly involve me. She was given her marching orders

I stayed in that yard & have been on several yards since & I've never, ever had another problem again (although I now have my own place )
The reason for this is I don't become involved in any politics, i tend to just go & do my horses & not natter/gossip. I try & stay friendly & polite to everyone. I do tend If I have an issue I try & talk directly to the person involved & clear the air as quickly as possible. I don't say anything in a text/PM/3rd party conversation that I wouldn't say directly to someone's face. These rules appear to have stood me well.

I've had liveries in my dark & distant past & if an incident like this occurred then TBH I too would give you all notice. There are enough nice horse owners without keeping trouble makers on a nice yard (& TBH with 2 sides to every story as much as you protest your innocence the fact is 'somehow ' some evidence of you causing trouble has been presented to the YO so I can see why you've been asked to leave )

jesus, that sounds horrific! what a horrible person.

 

[niagaraduval]

Galmourpuss - OMG ! I've never heard such a horrible livery experience in all my life ! And I have been on a yard where the tension was awful, I chose to leave and took my horse a week of so later.

OP- Doesn't surprise me you got kicked off if you bad mouthed people on Facebook. Wish that thing was never invented sometimes.

 

[el_Snowflakes]

I have had an incident where things were made awful for me on a yard. Amongst other things :
- she called competitions I'd entered pretending to be me & withdrew me. I wouldn't know until I rang for my times & then it would be too late.
- Pretended to be me & called my vet for an emergency colic on my horse on a Sunday when the horse was fine.
- tipped buckets of water into my horses bed late at night.
- Took photos of my horse's, not very bad & being treated, mud fever & sent them anonymously to the RSPCA
- let down the tyres on my bike
This was all done secretively & the whole time she was offering a shoulder to cry on & offering help to me.
However she finally slipped up when she involved the YO & tried to implicate me in bitching/rumours that couldn't possibly involve me. She was given her marching orders

Glamourpuss, that is completely unhinged behaviour. I hope you reported this person to the police?

Livery yards to me, are like work places- you have to expect that there will be people there who you might not particularly like but you just be polite to them to keep a peaceful environment. I have definitely made a lot of good friends at the yard Im on but I primarily go there to see to my horse. I don't get too involved with people who stand around gossiping about what everyone else is doing with their horses as Im quite frankly, not interested. My advice would be, be polite but don't get overly involved with other liveries & certainly don't ever get into facebook debates which could return to haunt you!

 

[exracehorse]

Had a few incidents on first yard. Wierd creepy boyfriend of livery who chatted up the young girls when girlfriend wasnt there. Lots of staring at their bust. My daughter could nt stand him. He used to look at her too and sneer. Had horrid bunch arrive together who tried to take over. One lied that my daughter had written bitch on her stable door just to be evil. Awful atmosphere. They all went quiet when you walked into the yard and glared. They had only been there 3 months. The adults were the worst. My poor girl was picked on and I could nt do much as was in hospital on chemotherapy. Was so glad when they left. YO was useless.

 

[fatpiggy]

I'll never understand why it's so hard for some to be honest, nice, decent people! Kindness, manners and consideration COST NOTHING. There is also nothing to be gained from being smiley smiley to someone, whilst stabbing them in the back at the same time!

I have learnt the hard way about trust, but for reasons already mentioned on this thread, I wont air the dirty laundry here as you never know who is watching lol.

But needless to say, You do at some point learn who your true friends are and who you can trust. It's a hard lesson but hopefully it's one I'll remember for the rest of my life.

Chin up, and get looking around now for alternative livery. sometimes a fresh start does you the world of good.

I don't think it is about being nice, friendly or whatever, but is all about power. Who is going to be topdog with their pack beneath them.

As for learning who is nice and who isn't, I've given up trying and keep myself totally to myself these days. I'm 49 now and without exception, every so-called friend I have ever had has made very good use of me and then dumped me when I serve no further purpose or they get a better offer. I trust no-one.

Don't forget it isn't actually compulsory to use Facebook etc! It is something of a Pandora's box and I don't touch any social network sites with a bargepole. I have no doubt people still call me behind my back, but I can't hear them so I don't worry about it.

 

[STRIKER]

Its all a form of bullying one way or the other but to prove it just like in the work place.

However if one has looked for trouble by facebook and texts and gossiping then they deserve to be outed, but those that have been innocently treated badly and used is just so so wrong.

fatpiggy do not feel alone, you and i could have stepped out of the same shoe box and no doubt 1000's of others could join us.

 

[glamourpuss]

Yes, it was an horrific time. It was also many, many years ago. I didn't involve the police firstly she was very devious in what she did & was lovely to my face so I never suspected her. I actually couldn't work out what was going on at the time & thought it was somebody not on the yard......but didn't have a clue who it could be! It was only when she pushed her luck & invented a scenario to the YO that couldn't have possibly happened that the pieces fell into place. The YO at the time took us both into her office to hear our stories face to face. She was marched off the yard that afternoon with a 48 hour notice. During that time she was only allowed to come & see her horse by prior arrangement & with the YO accompanying her.
Luckily her hate campaign seem to stop pretty quickly in hindsight she probably was worried I was going to call the police but I was young & just glad it was all over TBH & other than the last event that got her caught I had no actual proof it was her.

 

[PolarSkye]

I'll never understand why it's so hard for some to be honest, nice, decent people! Kindness, manners and consideration COST NOTHING. There is also nothing to be gained from being smiley smiley to someone, whilst stabbing them in the back at the same time!

I have learnt the hard way about trust, but for reasons already mentioned on this thread, I wont air the dirty laundry here as you never know who is watching lol.

But needless to say, You do at some point learn who your true friends are and who you can trust. It's a hard lesson but hopefully it's one I'll remember for the rest of my life.

Chin up, and get looking around now for alternative livery. sometimes a fresh start does you the world of good.

Wise words.

P

 

[Gingerwitch]

Yeah, I had it too from someone in their fifties. Told all sorts of lies about me to the YO but was sweetness and light to my face, although I wasn't overly surprised since she would say unpleasant things about other people on the yard to me. Ironically, she would slag off the YO and family to me too, so a proper snake but YO thought the sun shone out of her.

You must have been on the same yard as me at some point ! lol - the YO and YM thought she was so wonderful, and boy did she come over so sickly sweet, just wish I had recorded how much she slagged them off when they were not there !

 

[Fides]

I think I have been lucky as I have never come across anyone vindictive, only people who interfere. I now have the horses at home, there are 3 farms in a triangle backing on to each other, all horsey and all from the same background so it's nice to have a bit of company with someone who understands.

 

[Antw23uk]

I got to page 2 ... couldn't go on. To be honest if I was the YO I would want you both off the yard as well. Your 35, grow up! Find a new yard, keep your head down, do your thing and keep yourself to yourself. Simple.

 

[crazymaisey]

Nope I can't say so. Do your own horse, be polite and quite friendly, don't pass comment on others or their horses, lock away your things, don't lend your things, don't rely on others for riding out or info - be independent. Keep your head down and enjoy your hobby. Too many people love drama and tack room gossip more than horses and riding. Keep people at arms length unless they are like you are. Don't discuss other people!! It's rude. Don't rely on the yard too much as a social club and don't air your dirty laundry there.

I keep my head down, I'm an easy life merchant & avoid aggro at all costs. I take responsibility for my horse, I pay my way and I don't owe anybody anything. I choose how I do things within the rules of the yard.

I don't watch Eastenders either FWIW! I hate drama!

 

[my bfg]

Had an awful time delivered by our first YO! Was on part livery due to shift work, was paying for my mare to be brought in, groomed and rug changed twice a week, kept getting messages on the dreaded whiteboard saying her rug was wet so left it on but still invoiced for groom/rug change. Also paid for mucking out twice a week but found all the wet/poo hid in one corner but still charged for mucking out! Went onto complete DIY and YO turned nasty due to losing money.

Yards can be awful places, best advice is see no evil, speak no evil and hear no evil. I'm now just renting a field on a yard, I don't get involved in anyone else's dilemmas x

 

[Burmilla]

Facebook, imho, is the work of the devil! While it can be force for good, ime, it causes so much convoluted grief for individuals, families and young people. It cannot be controlled and "The Truth" often isn't.
I have chosen to leave a yard where my horse and me were ridiculed, patronised and ignored as I was not part of the clique of younger heavy drinking, clubbing people, competing with fab lorries (paid for by indulgent parents) and equally fab ISHs.
The yard had been lovely when I first joined. It changed when the YO decided to add more stables and the first new person encouraged the rest of his/her yard to join.
Never mind, it was dreadful at the time and caused me to feel very low and to avoid going there. In hindsight, it gave me the incentive to stop, take stock and realise that my goals had changed, and it was ok to think about how me and my horse could enjoy ourselves reaching them.

 

[Sashatbx14]

So ive just been to look at a place,is £10 more than what im paying now,friend drove me up as i dont drive,but its way far out,an now i have no idea what to do ...what can the YO do,can he chuck my horse off just like that an we have nowhere to go?

 

[FestiveFuzz]

So ive just been to look at a place,is £10 more than what im paying now,friend drove me up as i dont drive,but its way far out,an now i have no idea what to do ...what can the YO do,can he chuck my horse off just like that an we have nowhere to go?

You should have a notice period in your contract with YO. At our yard gross misconduct results in 24hrs notice. Anything else and we're given a month. So in short yes your YO could ask you to leave whether you've found somewhere else to go or not.

 

[Gingerwitch]

So ive just been to look at a place,is £10 more than what im paying now,friend drove me up as i dont drive,but its way far out,an now i have no idea what to do ...what can the YO do,can he chuck my horse off just like that an we have nowhere to go?

Yep, tie the horse to the gate, deliver it to your back garden too

 

[AmyMay]

If the yard owner has asked you to leave because of these 'tales', then quite frankly you're better off leaving.

 

[STRIKER]

I wouldnt have put this in to the gross misconduct category that is usually theft, violence on the yard etc. speak nicely to the YO apologise and say you are looking for somewhere to move to and could he give you the months notice to do this.

 

[Delhi Belly]

I think you get an element of bitching on any DIY yard of any size. I say DIY because I've done every type of livery and the DIY yards I've been on have been by far the worst. There are always cliques - the main characters are usually the one who thinks she knows it all and her mistaken sense of self-importance, the reasonably newly found best mate (they both usually arrive at the same time each day as they can't live without each other) and a couple of hangers on who know nothing and think these people are amazing horse people. I find the best thing is to smile sweetly and say nothing and get on with your own horse. They are driven by jealousy normally and tend to be bitchy because they realise you know far more than them but they would never admit it. Ignore it and carry on or find another yard.

 

[FestiveFuzz]

I wouldnt have put this in to the gross misconduct category that is usually theft, violence on the yard etc. speak nicely to the YO apologise and say you are looking for somewhere to move to and could he give you the months notice to do this.

See our yard has a zero tolerance policy on gossiping/bullying so this would also come under gross misconduct where I am. Appreciate most yards would only class violence/theft under this bracket though.

 

[NativePonyLover]

Nope I can't say so. Do your own horse, be polite and quite friendly, don't pass comment on others or their horses, lock away your things, don't lend your things, don't rely on others for riding out or info - be independent. Keep your head down and enjoy your hobby. Too many people love drama and tack room gossip more than horses and riding. Keep people at arms length unless they are like you are. Don't discuss other people!! It's rude. Don't rely on the yard too much as a social club and don't air your dirty laundry there.

I keep my head down, I'm an easy life merchant & avoid aggro at all costs. I take responsibility for my horse, I pay my way and I don't owe anybody anything. I choose how I do things within the rules of the yard.

I don't watch Eastenders either FWIW! I hate drama!

Ditto this, 100%.

I treat the yard as I would my workplace. I smile & say hello to everyone. Yes, of course there are some people I'm closer to than others & see socially as well as ride with. There are some people I enjoy talking to if they are down there, but don't see otherwise & there are people I have little in common with or aren't the type if people I'd be friends with, so I smile, say hello & live and let live.

It could be do easy to get 'involved' in politics, or silliness, but at the end of the day it would take time & effort out of what the yard is for - to spend time with & enjoy my horse.

I've no doubt I've been the subject of yard talk before, but if you don't let it worry you & don't respond, people get bored & move on. Simples.

To be honest, given what I've heard - I'm not surprised the YO has asked you all to leave.

 

[Sashatbx14]

If the yard owner has asked you to leave because of these 'tales', then quite frankly you're better off leaving.

Tales that the other person has told,to be frank i got dragged in cos the ' clique ' didnt like me,twice ive told him about the group hanging in front of my barn,an thats intimidation,nothing was done,decided to drag me in,making stories up an off running to him,i dont drive,the place is 10 mins walk from my house,what happens if i cant find anything,what happens then :/

 

[FestiveFuzz]

Tales that the other person has told,to be frank i got dragged in cos the ' clique ' didnt like me,twice ive told him about the group hanging in front of my barn,an thats intimidation,nothing was done,decided to drag me in,making stories up an off running to him,i dont drive,the place is 10 mins walk from my house,what happens if i cant find anything,what happens then :/

I'm confused. I thought the issue was they'd shown the YO messages you'd sent on Facebook?

 

[Sashatbx14]

She did,but was nothing to do with the yard itself,an the person isnt a livery

 

[ILuvCowparsely]

Dont know if this thread belongs here,but looking for some friendly advice,ive been on a livery yard for nearly 2 years,i brought a ' friend ' on who i knew from school,who was an absolute novice,helped her out a lot,taught her stuff she didnt know,she didnt ride a lot,i myself was always busy with mine,she got into a clique,who started being funny with me,tried not to rise to it as had stuff going on at home,now ive had notice to leave the yard,as she kept going to the owner running telling tales,absolutely gutted,an wondering why does someone have to spoil it for you..

In answer to your title,

yes a few have made my life hell over the years as a livery, only wanted to get at me in a big way an she got at me by getting at my horse - something you should NEVER do no matter what you think of the person.

She got at me by only feeding my mare a handful of nuts only at night and the same in the morning ( only what you can hold in one hand)where as her mare had a bucket full literally and my mare had very little hay hers ad lib. I remember walking up to the pet store and buying some bran in plastic super market bags just to give my mare something to go through her system - this was 1982

Have also had liveries from hell here as well as neighbours, weird ones too - one we called BOB an old guy we called him Bob as he used to jump up as he walked to peep over the fences of houses

 

[Sashatbx14]

So if i cant find anywhere to move,although i have been looking,dont drive etc,what will he do if i dont find anything before deadline?