olivia x
Well-Known Member
Yes, people can be very rude to people who do not have/have chosen not to have children. There are people without children who want them-- and are asked incredibly insensitive questions about whether they want children/why don't they have children, you will regret not having children, the usual. But sometimes people without children have suffered a loss, a miscarriage, the death of a child, infertility issues, that they do not and should not have to broadcast to inquisitors. No one should ever have to justify why they do not have children, there are lots of reasons someone may not, and all of them are deeply personal and private. I have seen people have wounds of grief and loss ripped open by some very rude and inappropriate questions and remarks about them not having children. Perhaps they have genetically linked inherited diseases that make it unwise to have a child, perhaps they have given a child up for adoption the past and are not ready to have another child. I have seen all of these situations, and how hurt people can be by rude and insensitive handling of their situation.
And for those who do have them-- its not all a bed of roses. Many women suffer post-partum depression. A child who is disabled or special needs may tax or overwhelm parents from time to time. Lone parents are real heroes in my book. I think people feel that there is a stigma to admitting that parenting is sometimes the hardest thing they have ever done and they need some support or relief. So people pretend its all rosy and lovely and easy-- and for some it is. They are blessed. For others-- it is not so easy. There should be no stigma in having this reality addressed.
Its such an individual ( or couple) choice about whether to have a child-- or not to have one-- and the situation should be respected as such. Some people might regret not having kids, others are happy to not have them.
I felt about a two second twinge of oh what if one day about not having kids. So I thought about oh what if-- and decided I am fine as I am and I have no regrets. No doubt if I had had children I would have loved them and worked to be a good parent. But life is toooo short to fill it up with what ifs. Live in the day that you have with all that is good in it. Every day we have on this planet is an amazing beautiful gift. Too much thinking of oh what if can blind people to that.
Okay, sorry, rant over! I just get fed up seeing people who are hurt by the insensitive questions and prying about not having children!
And for those who do have them-- its not all a bed of roses. Many women suffer post-partum depression. A child who is disabled or special needs may tax or overwhelm parents from time to time. Lone parents are real heroes in my book. I think people feel that there is a stigma to admitting that parenting is sometimes the hardest thing they have ever done and they need some support or relief. So people pretend its all rosy and lovely and easy-- and for some it is. They are blessed. For others-- it is not so easy. There should be no stigma in having this reality addressed.
Its such an individual ( or couple) choice about whether to have a child-- or not to have one-- and the situation should be respected as such. Some people might regret not having kids, others are happy to not have them.
I felt about a two second twinge of oh what if one day about not having kids. So I thought about oh what if-- and decided I am fine as I am and I have no regrets. No doubt if I had had children I would have loved them and worked to be a good parent. But life is toooo short to fill it up with what ifs. Live in the day that you have with all that is good in it. Every day we have on this planet is an amazing beautiful gift. Too much thinking of oh what if can blind people to that.
Okay, sorry, rant over! I just get fed up seeing people who are hurt by the insensitive questions and prying about not having children!
