Horses and having children on yards....thoughts?

[Abi90]

I don't like children, I never have and I don't want any either. They annoy me, therefore I'm on a yard that has over 16s only (I don't really mind kids over 12 anyway). That's my choice because I don't like them, just like some people don't like cats or dogs or horses. That's fine.

Equally for those that do like children, or have them, that's also fine and they can choose child friendly yards.

Children are a lifestyle choice and as someone said we're entitled to child free zones as much as parents are entitled to child friendly zones.

I have to spend enough time with my husband's family telling me that I "MUST" have a baby soon and that I must be "weird" if I don't like kids. Whilst their numerous badly behaved children run amok in restaurants and public places annoying people! I like going to see the horse to get away from it all.

 

[mums the groom]

Depends on the Kids, I have a 10 year old she has been around horses all her life, but when she was a toddler I had to give up having a horse on loan because I couldn't do Child and horse at the same time. there are some kids I could happily lock in a sound proof stable and leave until they are 18. we have one toddler that although he has no fear of horses I worry every time he is down he's usually screaming his head off crying and shouting and waling round the horses back ends without a care in the world. he thinks nothing about going through your stuff and once went through my tack box whilst I was grooming and went off with the very sharp knife I keep in there, not a peep from parents.
Even now I try to go to the yard without children although daughter usually just takes herself off the hay barn with friends and ipad.

 

[windand rain]

Although it should be down to choice often situations change a child free zone may well have to become a child friendly one if some of the child unfriendly people change their mind and have one. No doubt they would then be thought in being unreasonable in not moving off that yard but hey ho all other facilities may be essential to that horse trunout being the obvious one as a lot of yards have none or limited trunout essential especially if you do have kids. When I had my kids they rarely came near the ponies as they were my down time and OH looked after them. When I had my granddaughter she had noone else so she had to come with me but her first sentence when asked why she was such a good girl was "grandma doesnt do whinging" and I dont what I find really annoying isnt the kids per se but adults yelling at them, refusing to discipline them and allowing the rat bag behaviour that makes people hate kids. So overall I love kids and hate obnoxious adults both with and without kids. You only get horrid kids by not parenting them properly from day 1
there are 3 kinds of people those that want kids
those that dont until they decide they do
those that never will
there are also people who should never have kids even if they want them

 

[JoannaC]

I don't have children and have never wanted them but I did love having two small ponies and borrowing other peoples children to ride them. I took them out hacking and to pony club and shows it was fun. They saved any tears and tantrums for their parents and were great when they were with me. I like children round the yard if they want to be there and are into horses. Not so keen on hoards of kids playing, crying and being a nuisance.

 

[webble]

Far far from it, its a wonderful peacefule life. Never feel sorry for someone who doesnt want or like kids. We are far more lucky than those with that responsibility hanging round there necks like a heavy weight!

I'm trying not to be but I do find myself becoming a bit of a 'breeder hater' but I've always been against unnecessary breeding of animals. I mean with so many animals in rescues up and down the country why would you ever need to breed .... It was only a matter of time before I thought the same about humans. Like the world isnt overpopulated enough already!!

Love this post!

 

[Batgirl]

Children are a lifestyle choice and as someone said we're entitled to child free zones as much as parents are entitled to child friendly zones.

This really - someone had a dig earlier saying 'how awful it must be to tolerate.....'

I will always tolerate that outside my control, it doesn't mean I have to like it. I am lovely to children, despite not liking them or wanting them. My horse is lovely to children, he is however 17"2 and quite clumsy and I would rather not (when having my relaxing leisure time) have to worry about him stepping on a toddler!

I also quite like my quiet time so if gaggles of children are a common part of a yard I will choose not to go there much like someone with children would probably choose not to go somewhere that wasn't child friendly.

 

[gunnergundog]

For me, livery yards are for the liverying of horses - there's a clue in the name! They are NOT child or dog exercise parks or creches.

There is one yard I know that is exclusively for children and that is grand, but you wouldn't find me within a million miles of it.

Shudders...........

 

[Rosiejazzandpia]

Lol at 'if I had a child and they needed to be there for whatever reason'

The reason being that life doesn't stop because you have kids and most of us have to get on with stuff with the kids in tow most of the time. Doing the horses is far easier than doing the supermarket shop

Very well aware of this. I meant more in the general sense of not having my own child at the yard if I could help it. Needing to have them there personally would be if my husband wasn't able to take care of the hypothetical child while I popped to the yard.

 

[SpringArising]

I find it strange how so many people have such little empathy towards kids. You were one once, don't forget that.

 

[R2D2]

I have no issue with well behaved children at the yard. We did have issues for a while with one lady who let her feral children run wild, and nearly had accidents several times, but the rest of them are no trouble at all. I agree with others who have said it is good for horses to get used to things going on around them. When it is just me at the yard, I encourage my son to be noisy, run around and shout, so my young horse gets used to it. He does know how to behave when there are other people/horses around though.

 

[teddypops]

I think if you are finding that people are intolerant of your children you should take a look at how your children are behaving. I have a child and I don’t mind children but I can’t stand parents who allow their children to misbehave and be a nuisance to others.

 

[teddypops]

I find it strange how so many people have such little empathy towards kids. You were one once, don't forget that.

Is it for all children though or just the ones who are allowed to misbehave and make a nuisance of themselves?

 

[gunnergundog]

I find it strange how so many people have such little empathy towards kids. You were one once, don't forget that.

Yes, in the days when children were seen and not heard and were expected to mind their Ps and Qs. Also, restaurants and many other places tended to be adult only zones unlike today.

 

[huskydamage]

I don't have kids and yard is my chill out time so when kids are running around screaming and spooking my horse coz they're flying round on roller skates or something, it does annoy me. But I'd never say anything, I might have one one day if you can't get a babysitter what do you do? Not do your horse?

 

[Hexx]

I prefer a child-free yard and that is what I would choose when looking.

However, I don't mind babies/toddlers in pushchairs that sit next to the school while Mum is riding (I used to sit with my nephew when he was little and my sister rode), but once they get big enough to scamper around, then that's the time to leave them at home.

At one yard I was at, one of the ladies who did the mucking out used to bring her son to the yard - he was a little sod and she had been asked a couple of times to leave him at home! He was very badly behaved and destructive, to the point where he was using one of the storage containers to hide in and smoke. He didn't put the cigarette out properly it set fire to the container. The container was shared between me and another livery as storage for all our gear and we lost absolutely everything - I was left with my horse, one rug and his grooming kit. The YO lost 20 bales of haylage and two livery's lorries were set alight causing significant damage. The little s**t just stood there smirking at the Police and Firemen when they questioned him - we knew it was him as he had been caught smoking before. He was 11.

 

[Rowreach]

I find it strange how so many people have such little empathy towards kids. You were one once, don't forget that.

But why should anyone who is at a yard to ride and care for their horse, in what is probably a limited amount of time, have to spend part of it either worrying about the safety of someone else's child, or worry about the child spooking their horse, or have to spend time chatting to a child in order to appear empathetic or friendly ...???

I wouldn't have inflicted my children on my liveries or allowed them to be bothered unduly - but then my kids knew how to behave and how to stay safe once they were old enough to be on the yard doing their ponies, and before that they either had close supervision from me or they were somewhere else altogether.

I'm a parent and I cannot understand the opinions of some parents on this thread who think everyone else should adore/put up with/empathise with their kids

 

[9tails]

I find it strange how so many people have such little empathy towards kids. You were one once, don't forget that.

You seem to be missing the point, it's not all kids. Just toddlers that aren't bound and gagged or children running riot. A livery yard is NOT the place for unsupervised children, but many mothers seem to think that other owners should look out for the dangers. My horse in particular was sold because her previous owner had three children in quick succession, all boys. The horse became a nervous handful because she couldn't bear the noise and disruption of short, bored, unruly humans in her world.

 

[Pippity]

I find it strange how so many people have such little empathy towards kids. You were one once, don't forget that.

The general theme is that people don't mind well-behaved children - it's the destructive, unsupervised hellspawn that are the issue.

And I was a well-behaved child, because my mother (a single parent who worked full-time) actually parented me and taught me how to behave.

 

[eggs]

The general theme is that people don't mind well-behaved children - it's the destructive, unsupervised hellspawn that are the issue.

And I was a well-behaved child, because my mother (a single parent who worked full-time) actually parented me and taught me how to behave.

This with bells on. It does seem that too many children are allowed to do want they want as it makes for an easier life for the parents. I don't have children and am not maternal but have no problem with well behaved children that do not shout and scream whenever they don't get their own way.

My groom used to bring her child to the yard if her child minder let her down and it set my teeth on edge as she was a very screechy child and her mother never told her to be quiet. She would also pick up stuff and move it around the yard without putting it back where it belonged.

 

[BBP]

Im a massive hypocrite, I was a child (I had no choice in the matter though!) and had a lucky childhood of going to riding schools and hanging around on yards helping out. But I am massively 'anti-child'. I know its not their fault that they are small and loud and energetic and annoying, they didn't ask to be children any more than I did, and they are just doing what kids do, but I proactively decided never to have children and so have no desire to spend any time with anyone else's little treasures either. I balance this with being equally irritated by most adults too though, and as such I keep away from busy livery yards where i would come into contact with lots of people. My horse is my downtime, I like to enjoy the peace and quiet and just be with my horses without interruption, so a private set-up suits me.

If I chose to be on a busy yard I would expect there to be kids around, I would be annoyed probably but I would accept the parents right to have their kids with them as long as they actively parented them instead of seeing it as a free creche. I think its good for kids to be out in the fresh air instead of being inside all the time, and learning about animals is always a good thing, so as much as I find nothing adorable or charming or interesting about other peoples kids, i would tolerate them being around. Luckily I don't have to!

 

[spacefaer]

I used to run a competition livery yard with one small section being DIY. We had one woman who would bring her young daughter, who I think was about 4. Daughter used to steal things of ours and hide them (including the tractor keys, which we found in a large pile of builders' sand). Mother used to go off for hacks, leaving the daughter in the DIY tack room, with a storage heater on full blast (at our expense). If she was going on a particularly long hack, she would lock the door.

We only found out about this after we had asked her to leave, when the other DIYers told us.

On the upside, my OH tells a story about a friend of his who had a very mobile toddler - when she was riding in the arena or teaching, she put the child in a vertical stack of tyres in the corner of the arena. Kept the child in place and in sight!

I had a pony at home, from the age of four, so never had the experience of being on a livery yard until I went to train at Talland, where everything was run with military precision, and there was no running about, screaming and shouting from anyone, regardless of age.

 

[Ample Prosecco]

No-one should have to tolerate thieving, fire setting (!), shrieking, yelling, tantrums etc no matter how old the offender. (And the biggest shouter/stirrer/tantrummer/bully on my old yard was NOT a child....) Nor should they have to tolerate unsafe behaviours and YO's should come down like a tonne of bricks on behaviour like that. But my own experience is that there is a general lack of tolerance of children in the UK just for being children. My kids have never misbehaved but as I said sometimes they got grief for no reason at all. Adults seemed to feel that it was acceptable to be rude or dictatorial to them just because they were children. And to turf them out of the school if they wanted to use it etc. And I see that elsewhere too - shop keepers saying "I've got my eye on you' to my kids who would not DREAM of stealing, people tutting and sighing at them for no obvious reason, random strangers saying 'why aren't you at school' in an accusatory way when my daughter was off for non visible health reasons etc etc etc. I do think it's a bit sad really.

 

[Auslander]

at Talland, where everything was run with military precision, and there was no running about, screaming and shouting from anyone, regardless of age.

Except after the pub on a Friday night!

 

[KittenInTheTree]

much s we all love our horses I would have thought that mothers could tear themselves away for a few hours to give birth in a maternity unit. ( Having children on yards)---Sorry I couldn't resist LOL

Probably had to remain on the yard to wait for the blooming farrier! (I thought the same as you, btw!)

 

[LadyGascoyne]

Thanks, I do find some replies interesting really. I am just shocked at how many people are not tolerant of children. I have a toddler and obviously try my best to make sure he doesn't upset or frighten any horses but obviously he is a toddler so I cant bind and gag him!

I don't understand being shocked. Why should it be expected that people tolerate other people's children? If someone decides to have a child, that is lovely for them but it doesn't give them the right to expect everyone else to enjoy its company.

Your quote above makes me understand why you're not getting entirely positive reactions. It comes across quite entitled. Yes, you cannot bind and gag him, but you can stop bringing him to a livery yard where others are trying to enjoy what is usually very limited and expensive time with their horses. Instead, you are basically saying that he's a toddler and will scream and wander, and others just have to suck it up even if it makes them uncomfortable or anxious.

I like to think that we no longer live in a world where being a female automatically means that you are expected to like children and be maternal. I think the wide variation of responses from people who love kids and people who really don't like them is actually quite encouraging. It's good to know that there are people who don't like children and don't feel pressured into having to pretend they do. It's equally good to know that there are people who love them and are comfortable with being maternal.

People have families its the most natural thing in the world and not to want children around is amazing to me.

I think this is really short sighted, to be honest. It isn't natural for everyone, and not everything that is natural must automatically be right. There is nothing wrong with not wanting or being able to have a traditional family.

 

[ILuvCowparsely]

I find it strange how so many people have such little empathy towards kids. You were one once, don't forget that.

and? your point is?


Just because we were kids once does not mean we have to like children or have to put up with children screaming and upsetting other liveries who go to spend quality time with their horses away from work and home, and they don't want more noise and disturbance at the one place they have sanctuary.

If they are well behaved and are closely watched by the parents that is one thing, it is the other parents who just let the kids run round, making sand castles in the arena. Making too much noise screaming crying shouting.

 

[FinkleyAlex]

I don't mind supervised kids with their parent(s), or babies in prams in a safe place...what I can't stand is groups of older kids/teens running around, screaming and shouting while I'm trying to school a green horse.

 

[laura_nash]

Before I had my daughter I was totally non-maternal and had my horse on a yard with mostly adults. We had one younger owner for a short while but she didn't stay long as she just wasn't right for the yard - we were friendly enough with her but didn't really want to help her tack up if she couldn't do it on her own etc. I probably wouldn't have been happy about a toddler around, I was the one that quietly left the room when someone bought their baby / toddler into work to show them off. I think that is fair enough and don't see why people should all be expected to love kids all their lives.

The people on that yard were great when my daughter came along and really helped me out, but I would never have expected them to put up with anything that would detract from their enjoyment of their own horse and my daughter was always kept under very close control. Any close contact or interaction with the horses was tightly controlled. As my daughter started walking it did become more awkward to achieve that.

That was when I moved to a totally different type of yard on a farm where many of the liveries (and the YO) had younger kids. The horses were generally more laid back and they had some very kid-friendly mini's and smaller ponies. The yard had areas where the kids could play together, e.g. a "sand pit" type area outside the arena. On that yard the odd toddler tantrum etc was easier to deal with and kids with excess energy could usually be diverted to play elsewhere, though they still had to do as they were told when it mattered.

So I guess what I am trying to say is it depends on the yard, and I don't think it is right to assume that there is no problem taking your toddler to any yard (unless you have another adult along to look after them who can take them away if needed).

 

[ILuvCowparsely]

Far far from it, its a wonderful peaceful life. Never feel sorry for someone who doesnt want or like kids. We are far more lucky than those with that responsibility hanging round there necks like a heavy weight!

I'm trying not to be but I do find myself becoming a bit of a 'breeder hater' but I've always been against unnecessary breeding of animals. I mean with so many animals in rescues up and down the country why would you ever need to breed .... It was only a matter of time before I thought the same about humans. Like the world isnt overpopulated enough already!!

I am with you, I have never been maternal and never will be. MY husband and I never wanted kids, I want to live my life to the fullest and not spend the best part of 16 years running around after children. I love being able to do what I like when I like. I would not change it for the world.

Well behaved ones on the yard is fine as long as they do not upset or annoy other livery owners.

Farma
People have families its the most natural thing in the world and not to want children around is amazing to me.

Well be amazed then it is not natural for me, there are many people who do not want to be around children or have them. I think I only held my niece once she is 28 now and it felt unnatural to me and never held her any more or her brother or sister. I love them dearly but holding a baby *shudders* no thank you I bow out of this one.

I don't think you can really say it is natural to have children around when so many don't want them, each to their own and if you are maternal, good on you but to make those who chose not to or are not maternal feel like outcast is unfair.

 

[AlohaCob]

I am with you, I have never been maternal and never will be. MY husband and I never wanted kids, I want to live my life to the fullest and not spend the best part of 16 years running around after children. I love being able to do what I like when I like. I would not change it for the world.

Well behaved ones on the yard is fine as long as they do not upset or annoy other livery owners.


Well be amazed then it is not natural for me, there are many people who do not want to be around children or have them. I think I only held my niece once she is 28 now and it felt unnatural to me and never held her any more or her brother or sister. I love them dearly but holding a baby *shudders* no thank you I bow out of this one.

I don't think you can really say it is natural to have children around when so many don't want them, each to their own and if you are maternal, good on you but to make those who chose not to or are not maternal feel like outcast is unfair.

Count me in with the non maternal crowd. The barn where my new boy is at has some younger kids but they come for their horse or lesson, and are not a bother at all, which is wonderful. The teens at this barn are all really nice. However, the first barn I was at with my old mare was also a riding school, and we had all ages. The parents would bring siblings while the other darlings had a lesson, and those kids were bored, and would race around like lunatics. Worse still was when they had birthday 'pony parties'. After the pony rides, they had lunch/games and cake in a designated area, which was okay, but the parents and barn staff never enforced the rule, so we had kids running all over the place. This is Hawaii, so the barns are all open are 'pipe' barns, and I found kids in stalls. One stole hay from my mares stall to give to the horse next to her. I was giving her a bath at the time, so she hadn't had a chance to eat the lunch hay. It was ridiculous. I actually do enjoy children at times, but the constant coming and going of the kids and the absolute lack of the parent's giving a rap about what they were up to was beyond annoying. I left that place and it was the best move ever. i really do not like parents who feel their kids have the right to run rampant anywhere with no regard to others or even their own safety.