Horses and having children on yards....thoughts?

ManBearPig said:
I'm also wondering if more yards not allowing children stems from the discrepancy between the level of service people expect from livery and what people are willing to pay. A lot of yard owners have to cut corners wherever possible to avoid pricing themselves out of the market and, along with the nagging dread of an expensive lawsuit should a child be injured, getting enhanced DBS checks for staff etc are just expenses which eat into already meagre profits.

Edit: Could also be why you've only noticed it after moving to a new area; different prices/market etc?
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That would make sense, except that I have moved from being close to London to a little further out, you would think that being closer to London would mean the opposite possibly? My last yard owner had made her money working in insurance so was super careful about anything litigious and still welcomed children/dogs etc.
I don't know for sure but could definitely see that point of view and I would really like to think that has more to do with it than as some have put it 'having to tolerate my spawn' ;) Although for some I see that is case.
 
Doormouse said:
That said, I find peoples passion for tying their horses up outside their stable to do everything to the horse very strange, especially when it is cold during the winter or hot and full of flies in the summer. I muck out, tack up, brush, pull manes etc all with the horse in its stable which seems far easier to me than listening to them trample about bored and cold or hot and bothered by flies.

Horse tied outside their stables are the biggest danger to child obviously but if you have a young child on the yard you should be aware all the time exactly where they are to avoid the danger.
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Here they are not allowed to tie up outside and groom etc, unless injury or box rest, this is down to the position of the stables to the house, and if we have the windows open all the dust and hair comes into the house. So they groom in stable or gangway or back yard.

Also I frive into the court yard coming to and from errands and horses tied up would be in the way all the time. as well as in the way of the hay truck and feed merchants coming in
 
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Ambers Echo said:
Probably not... Real Life is generally a little more accepting and easy going than Forum-World!!
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Haha - Of course and there is a lot to consider around the psychology of anonymous commenting, hence why I wouldn't let anything that anyone has to say upset or affect me personally, I would prefer people not to be rude but that's up to them and only reflects on them, its good to see unfiltered responses some times whether I agree with what they say or not.
 
Doormouse said:
That said, I find peoples passion for tying their horses up outside their stable to do everything to the horse very strange, especially when it is cold during the winter or hot and full of flies in the summer. I muck out, tack up, brush, pull manes etc all with the horse in its stable which seems far easier to me than listening to them trample about bored and cold or hot and bothered by flies.
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I'm one of those strange people, much better not be doing dusty things in a stable for both horse and owner. And the light is better. I have an overhang but the only time I groom or do a proper muck out with clean bed with the horse in the stable is if it is pouring with rain and I can't arrange it for another time it's a very rare occurrence though.

Probably not the first time I've been called strange though :) This has just reinforced my feeling that if I were to ever lose my own land I don't think I would have another horse if I had to keep it at a livery yard.

I never had children (choice) and had one of my own employees questioning me in front of the rest of our staff on why I never had them (I'm too old to be asked if I want them now). I should have told him to p**** off but I didn't. I found it very uncomfortable. He couldn't understand me, but then he and his wife had eight attempts at IVF before they had twins.
 
Farma said:
I totally agree, before having a baby I used to get asked so often it was ridiculous, it did seem that if you were in a relationship and of a certain age kids are automatically expected and it seemed that people you barely know to ask you such personal questions about that choice (or in some cases its not a choice). Now I have one I get asked constantly when the next one will be so it doesn't end, then when I say I am happy with one they will say oh you will have another like they know me and my child bearing capability better than I do, so it doesn't end!
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That is interesting as I had wondered if you had moved closer to london as would have presumed the same as you.

I think to a certain extent what happens is that people remember the bad experiences/poor parenting/near misses etc much more than they do the good/ok ones, and that the bad experiences matter more to them when selecting a yard, if that makes sense? and/or is just a preference for them.

My own mum has just pre-warned me about the number of children that are going to be in our house on Christmas eve (not relatives) should I want to arrange to be somewhere else because it can be problematic for me. I make an awesome train track though :D and do a good job of attempting to get volcanoes to hit the ceiling :D
 
There are two issues here:

-the safety aspect of children on yards in our sadly litigous age. I'm sure every generation moans about the bad behaviour of youngsters, but I've witnessed some genuinely alarming examples of parents unwilling or unable to enforce any kind of basic awareness of "playground/non-playground" situations. I've seen a child wandering unsupervised around an airport gate getting their hand badly mangled in a revolving door, and also once personally saved a child from near-certain death when they managed to open a door on a fast-moving Tube carriage.

-the fact that many parents just cannot accept that other adults aren't interested in being around children, or listening to endless fascinating tales about them. Especially women, who still seem to have to justify not having them or wanting them.

I've met several wonderful mature, committed, helpful teenagers through RDA volunteering. I wouldn't choose to spend every evening of the week with them though.
 
Farma said:
I totally agree, before having a baby I used to get asked so often it was ridiculous, it did seem that if you were in a relationship and of a certain age kids are automatically expected and it seemed that people you barely know to ask you such personal questions about that choice (or in some cases its not a choice). Now I have one I get asked constantly when the next one will be so it doesn't end, then when I say I am happy with one they will say oh you will have another like they know me and my child bearing capability better than I do, so it doesn't end!
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...it doesn't end childless or with child or children... I was asked by a midwife in delivery room after having second girl,... oooo so you'll be 'going again' (meaning to try for a boy).. this was less than 3 hours after just having squeezed out baby...

...er, no.. thanks.

But I didn't take her comment as an unkind/assumptive one, I think it's general chit, chat and I found it quite funny.

I firmly stopped after two.
 
Farma said:
I totally agree, before having a baby I used to get asked so often it was ridiculous, it did seem that if you were in a relationship and of a certain age kids are automatically expected and it seemed that people you barely know to ask you such personal questions about that choice (or in some cases its not a choice). Now I have one I get asked constantly when the next one will be so it doesn't end, then when I say I am happy with one they will say oh you will have another like they know me and my child bearing capability better than I do, so it doesn't end!
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I never wanted children, I had two horses, mother and daughter and was completely content with that. Luckiky for me my husband wasn't really interested in having any either. All my family especially my parents completely accepted my decision and never questioned it so when I did tell my Mum that I was pregnant she was not overjoyed as she really thought I would not be the best parent as my horses had always come first above everything else. I completely adore my son who is now 19 but knew I didn't want any more as with one I could keep my horses as well. I have never been questioned about my decisions by anybody so wonder why others have.
 
scats said:
Talking about people's obsession with quizzing women of a certain age when they don't have children. I am childless and I have no intention of having them, they just aren't my thing. I adore my close friends little ones, but i don't want my own.
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You might be interested in this talk that appeared in my YouTube feed yesterday...

I don't want children -- stop telling me I'll change my mind | Christen Reighter

https://youtu.be/A_xXC37CDSw

I thought it was rather good.
 
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