Horses and having children on yards....thoughts?

Incidentally.... Good job youngest child starts nursery Jan 2018 ... nicely before our homebred (horse) is ready to begin being backed this Spring.

...Good timing eh! ;-)

Sorry, heading off thread... but want to share my joy.
 
GemG said:
Incidentally.... Good job youngest child starts nursery Jan 2018 ... nicely before our homebred (horse) is ready to begin being backed this Spring.

...Good timing eh! ;-)

Sorry, heading off thread... but want to share my joy.
Click to expand...

Awesome timing! Mine starts school just as my youngster turns 3 :0)
 
Farma said:
Awesome timing! Mine starts school just as my youngster turns 3 :0)
Click to expand...

Fantastic! Well done... that's great. Yes, I think I would have very reluctantly sold the filly if timing was different, it would be unmanageable for me otherwise.
 
I think dogs were only mentioned because it was stated that people categorically don't give up their dogs... when actually you only have to hang around facebook a bit to see that is certainly not the case.
And I think Mum's not Dad's because no Dad's have posted/we don't have many on here so more relevant to the conversation?

I agree that it would feel awkward/difficult/sad to have to leave somewhere because you had produced children during your horse ownership.
 
If we're talking cats and dogs... we rehomed (not 'got rid of') one dog and one cat when son no 1 arrived.

It was a calculated risk assessment. Jacko was a lovely collie/whippet cross but he was always uber noise sensitive. The mildest of raised voices had him in a panic, so there was no way he was going to cope with the bawling and squawking of a new born. We found him a fab home with someone who was used to and loved dogs but who didn't want a puppy. The cat went to my cat loving MIL, as I was indeed worried about her (the cat!) curling up to sleep on the baby's face.

Neither animal was 'got rid of', but a more suitable environment was found for both. We did keep the then JRT, who was a star with the lads from the off. And we also kept the two horses, who we keep at home. I continued to ride as and when I had someone to look after the baby :).

I still got a really @rsey phone call from some nutter who ranted on about me disposing of the dog just because I had had a baby.

ETA I was hoping no one would identify 'the eventer', as not everyone would have been aware of who the OP was referring to.
 
Last edited:
GemG said:
I have been childless and non maternal and now have a family (happily) and do my best to bring them up to be decent human beings (as do some other parents too!), so can see it from both sides, but I would feel (rightly or wrongly) unfairly treated if I had to leave somewhere because I brought my children with me sometimes.
Click to expand...

Why unfairly treated? the rules were there before they went to the yard and they were aware of the rule, why is it unfair that they cannot take thier child?
Why would you be entitled to regularly (twice a week according to OP) break the rules just because you have had a child?
Why are the other liveries not entitled to have some child free time on a yard they have very possibly chosen (in-part) for its no child policy?
 
Tiddlypom said:
If we're talking cats and dogs... we rehomed (not 'got rid of') one dog and one cat when son no 1 arrived.

It was a calculated risk assessment. Jacko was a lovely collie/whippet cross but he was always uber noise sensitive. The mildest of raised voices had him in a panic, so there was no way he was going to cope with the bawling and squawking of a new born. We found him a fab home with someone who was used to and loved dogs but who didn't want a puppy. The cat went to my cat loving MIL, as I was indeed worried about her (the cat!) curling up to sleep on the baby's face.

Neither animal was 'got rid of', but a more suitable environment was found for both. We did keep the then JRT, who was a star with the lads from the off. And we also kept the two horses, who we keep at home. I continued to ride as and when I had someone to look after the baby :).

I still got a really @rsey phone call from some nutter who ranted on about me disposing of the dog just because I had had a baby.

ETA I was hoping no one would identify 'the eventer', as not everyone would have been aware of who the OP was referring to.
Click to expand...

I think the dogs were mentioned because someone said "no one would give up a pet dog for a baby so why should they give up a horse". The response being that actually it does happen because sometimes the family home is no longer a suitable environment for said dog, or cat. And that if a horse no longer fits into a family routine then perhaps people should consider that at that point in time they can no
Longer Own a horse and may have to return to ownership later on, when children go to school perhaps.
 
With regard to competing; I stopped competing when my son was born. My horse was Grade A and virtually every schedule had the bigger classes on last so it would have inevitably meant being out way past my son's bedtime (and he was an unusual baby in that he very much like his sleep!). Our lorry was old and basic, not really suitable to have a baby in for any length of time, I may have felt different if we'd had grooms and a flash, all singing all dancing lorry with good heating etc but in all honesty I saw some fellow competitors with miserable, small children out competing on cold evenings and I clearly remember saying I didn't have a baby to drag him up in the back of a lorry. I did venture out to a couple of shows in the summer when he was 2 or 3 but my mum and Mr EM came too, after that I retired the Grade A and only did the odd low level competition on other horses when I had a babysitter. A few years later before I knew it my son was competing and there was no time for me to consider starting again anyway!
 
Widgeon said:
Personally I think it would be judgmental to say that ever pushing a pram whilst leading a horse makes you a bad parent, but that's different to expressing the opinion that pushing a pram whilst leading a horse is a mad thing to do. QUOTE]

I think the poster in question was pushing a pram while leading three horses, which would make most of us wonder at the H&S aspect of things ....
Click to expand...
 
GemG said:
I would feel (rightly or wrongly) unfairly treated if I had to leave somewhere because I brought my children with me sometimes.
Click to expand...

If the yard had a no children policy, then 'wrongly' is the answer, pretty obviously, surely? If a yard has a no smoking policy would you expect to be allowed to start smoking there because you have started smoking? Or take a dog to a 'no dogs' yard because you had bought one? Or put a mare in foal at a 'no foaling or young stock' yard?
 
Antw23uk said:
All these issues could be easily solved if people just didn't breed!
Click to expand...

Abi90 said:
Famine, war, drought and overpopulation could also be solved. There are far too many people on this planet as it is!
Click to expand...

Totally agree! I would go so far as to say that we subject our animals to various tests before allowing them to breed so maybe those that wish to procreate should also be tested? I am thinking not just health and temperament testing but also proving that you have the financial wherewithal to raise a child without seeking support from the state. Benefits, if necessary to incentivise, would be given for remaining childless as opposed to currently reproducing.

A common sense test and a parenting exam should also be obligatory. No family unit would be allowed more than two offspring in my ideal world. :D

Now off to open a bottle of wine and wait for the Mumsnet brigade to descend! :)

Yours,

A non-breeder (through choice)
 
gunnergundog said:
Totally agree! I would go so far as to say that we subject our animals to various tests before allowing them to breed so maybe those that wish to procreate should also be tested? I am thinking not just health and temperament testing but also proving that you have the financial wherewithal to raise a child without seeking support from the state. Benefits, if necessary to incentivise, would be given for remaining childless as opposed to currently reproducing.

A common sense test and a parenting exam should also be obligatory. No family unit would be allowed more than two offspring in my ideal world. :D

Now off to open a bottle of wine and wait for the Mumsnet brigade to descend! :)

Yours,

A non-breeder (through choice)
Click to expand...

Ooo off into the realms of Eugenics! Which is very controversial. Although it would solve a lot of problems if we did health test people.

I'm not a fan of children but I'm not sure I want to bring a child into this world as it currently is anyway!
 
gunnergundog said:
Totally agree! I would go so far as to say that we subject our animals to various tests before allowing them to breed so maybe those that wish to procreate should also be tested? I am thinking not just health and temperament testing but also proving that you have the financial wherewithal to raise a child without seeking support from the state. Benefits, if necessary to incentivise, would be given for remaining childless as opposed to currently reproducing.

A common sense test and a parenting exam should also be obligatory. No family unit would be allowed more than two offspring in my ideal world. :D

Now off to open a bottle of wine and wait for the Mumsnet brigade to descend! :)

Yours,

A non-breeder (through choice)
Click to expand...

������������������
 
gunnergundog said:
Totally agree! I would go so far as to say that we subject our animals to various tests before allowing them to breed so maybe those that wish to procreate should also be tested? I am thinking not just health and temperament testing but also proving that you have the financial wherewithal to raise a child without seeking support from the state. Benefits, if necessary to incentivise, would be given for remaining childless as opposed to currently reproducing.

A common sense test and a parenting exam should also be obligatory. No family unit would be allowed more than two offspring in my ideal world. :D

Now off to open a bottle of wine and wait for the Mumsnet brigade to descend! :)

Yours,

A non-breeder (through choice)
Click to expand...

Haha, I'm also a non breeder through choice, and that's primarily because I am far too selfish to want to adjust my life for the sake of a child that the world doesn't really need.

I have to say that I am always surprised by parents who will tell you (usually in an ever so slightly condescending tone), how "you just don't realise how having children completely changes your life"....well yes, of course it does....this is why I don't have one...???

Having said that, I really don't mind children on yards - they bother me far more in the supermarket carpark or running along the pavement almost out of sight of the adult looking after them. Children on horse yards I have generally found to be quite pleasant and good fun to interact with....maybe Ive just been fortunate
 
OP I don't get what the grievance is... You're on a child-free yard and people don't like it when you bring a child? Nope, still not getting it.

I don't particularly dislike kids, but I do dislike parents who expect everyone else to make unreasonable allowances for them and their spawn... If I had a pound for every time I've had to say "didn't your mum/dad tell you not to talk to strangers?" in public places, then the parents get all offended because I don't think their kid is worthy of looking up from my book to pay attention to.

Also, babies in prams on cross-country courses?! Sounds like natural selection waiting to happen.
 
ManBearPig said:
OP I don't get what the grievance is... You're on a child-free yard and people don't like it when you bring a child? Nope, still not getting it.

I don't particularly dislike kids, but I do dislike parents who expect everyone else to make unreasonable allowances for them and their spawn... If I had a pound for every time I've had to say "didn't your mum/dad tell you not to talk to strangers?" in public places, then the parents get all offended because I don't think their kid is worthy of looking up from my book to pay attention to.

Also, babies in prams on cross-country courses?! Sounds like natural selection waiting to happen.
Click to expand...

Natural selection, seriously? If you go to any large be event especially somewhere like badminton or Burghley where there are large crowds, people with children even multiple children, their dogs etc, and all that separates them and the course is a piece of string in many places, so yes prams are effectively on xc courses even at the biggest of events, riders fall and horses bolt often at events but that doesn't mean that families wont be attending.
 
Farma said:
Just wondered what peoples thoughts were on liveries taking their children/ babies down to do their horses with them? I seem to have encountered very odd attitudes and I am not sure if I am in cloud cuckoo world!
Click to expand...

Do the odd attitudes still seem odd to you after 30 pages of comments OP? :)
 
ILuvCowparsely said:
I think my answer to a kid saying why not would be -because you will get a flying lesson if the horse kicks out and gets you.
Click to expand...
Speaking as an aunt and not a parent...that would not have bothered or surprised me. My nephews asked "why?" to everything when growing up and it's a child natural response. To you, it seems incredible that someone would go to hit an animal, but as a child, you would need guidance and all it would take was "it would hurt the horse" to ensure said child understood animals are sentient.
 
Luci07 said:
Speaking as an aunt and not a parent...that would not have bothered or surprised me. My nephews asked "why?" to everything when growing up and it's a child natural response. To you, it seems incredible that someone would go to hit an animal, but as a child, you would need guidance and all it would take was "it would hurt the horse" to ensure said child understood animals are sentient.
Click to expand...

Where as,I would expect the child to have been taught that hitting anything that didn't belong to the child, sentient or otherwise, was wrong and shouldn't be done.
 
I am on a very child friendly yard. Most of them ride anyway or are too interested in feeding goats, pigs and chickens on the farm side of it to cause problem. Most of the time there are no kids in stable area as most of their ponies are on grass livery. Yes they are in the barn jumping bales and playing games but didn't we all do that. The barn is next to the school but if we ask them to stop jumping about they do and often say sorry and they take their games else where- the liveries children are normally there anyway and are very polite and well behaved.

I never really feel children are left unsupervised there in the sense they are causing problems etc
 
We are lucky that we have a lovely 40 min off road route leading from the yard. Mums, prams, multiple toddlers and shetlands go out most weekends. I have just started to lead my friends daughter out while mum leads second toddlers l. At 4yra old its great because when I trot her shetland canters and mummy can't run fast enough for that haha!
 
ycbm said:
If the yard had a no children policy, then 'wrongly' is the answer, pretty obviously, surely? If a yard has a no smoking policy would you expect to be allowed to start smoking there because you have started smoking? Or take a dog to a 'no dogs' yard because you had bought one? Or put a mare in foal at a 'no foaling or young stock' yard?
Click to expand...

Well obviously if it were a 'no' children yard in the first place, I wouldn't be there in the first place. I'm not a complete idiot.
 
Farma said:
Yes I am, seems like I struck gold finding it reading some of the replies here.
Click to expand...

Well, if the livery yards local to here banned children, there would hardly be any in existance.

I'm tiring of some of the rather nasty comments some are making and maybe I should not take this so seriously, but some on here make me feel I shouldn't have had a family in the first place (spawn? Really!) ... and how dare I want to keep horses too. I must be mad and selfish. That might seem simplistic. I've never said folk without children should put up with rude, ungrateful brats dancing under their horses belly. I wouldn't want to either.

Mumsnet brigade? ... really, don't think so!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top