Horses and relationships

RunToEarth

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oh dear, so do we, every day together. The nice part of hell is an awful lot of help with stable work, no quibbling if I want another horse or if I need someone in the middle of the night to sit up with a horse. Also a perfect understanding that the horses come first.

I was alluding to the statement that you both smell of horse and look as if you have rolled in a muck heap.
 

Lucyad

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It certainly works better if your OH has a time consuming hobby as well. MY OH has boats, and is away most weekends all summer, and quite a lot of the rest of the year, with endless 'boat faff' in between.

I'm sure he would quite like it if I went with him more often, and I might like it if he did horses instead, and came with me...however if we did we might have killed each other by now, rather than happily together spending the short amount of time we actually see each other, 20 years down the line.
 

Kez32

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Just wondering how many of you also has had relationships go under because of horses.
Had a really long and tiring weekend of riding at a show for someone else, then had the horse physio it and doing my own horses today, back to work tomorrow.
My new boyfriend isn't speaking to me at the moment, as basically I have had no time to go see him this weekend. I spend everyday rushing around for people but don't seem to keep anyone happy!
I would love to have a relationship with something but between the horses and my family I don't see me ever having one 😕
Horsey women tend to be selfish and are a huge red flag when it comes to being in a relationship.

Horses seem to come before everything including their own kids!!! I have had horses and been around horsey women for 30+ years and in that time I have rarely seen a happy husband/boyfriend!!!
I could name 20-30 women in relationships who literally bully their partners, the rest are single!!

Having been with a woman with horses for nearly 16 years. I can honestly say as mush as I love her, if we were ever to split, I wouldn't go for another woman with horses!!!
 

Shilasdair

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Allow me to translate...

Horsey women tend to be selfish and are a huge red flag when it comes to being in a relationship. !

'My girlfriend doesn't pay me enough attention - and actually expects me to pull my weight in the relationship.'

Horses seem to come before everything including their own kids!!!

'Sometimes I even have to 'babysit' my own children (I'm a great dad obv) so she can go to the loo, have a shower - or worst of all, go out to see her horse. She should be with the children 24/7'.

I have had horses and been around horsey women for 30+ years and in that time I have rarely seen a happy husband/boyfriend!!!
I could name 20-30 women in relationships who literally bully their partners, the rest are single!!

'Me! Me! It should all be about me! Pay attention to me!'

Having been with a woman with horses for nearly 16 years. I can honestly say as mush as I love her, if we were ever to split, I wouldn't go for another woman with horses!!!

'The girl in the newsagent smiled at me. She wants me, I tell you! My girlfriend should be more grateful and pay me attention at ALL times as I am a prize!'

;)
 

Kez32

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Allow me to translate...



'My girlfriend doesn't pay me enough attention - and actually expects me to pull my weight in the relationship.'



'Sometimes I even have to 'babysit' my own children (I'm a great dad obv) so she can go to the loo, have a shower - or worst of all, go out to see her horse. She should be with the children 24/7'.



'Me! Me! It should all be about me! Pay attention to me!'



'The girl in the newsagent smiled at me. She wants me, I tell you! My girlfriend should be more grateful and pay me attention at ALL times as I am a prize!'

;)
Wow, you are the epitome of a horse woman. You can't see beyond horses and you don't care how they would affect a relationship!! I guarantee you are single or with a very unhappy partner!!!

I see even the women who say they 'compromise' in the relationship say they try to be back by 7:30pm!?!?! Well if you've got kids that's pretty much bedtime for young kids!! So you don't even allocate time for them. As I said selfish.
 

Gloi

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The best relationships I know within the horsey community are when the husband is also interested in horses and they are able to ride their horses out together. I know a few of these couples and admit I am jealous.
 

Kez32

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Wow, you are the epitome of a horse woman. You can't see beyond horses and you don't care how they would affect a relationship!! I guarantee you are single or with a very unhappy partner!!!

I see even the women who say they 'compromise' in the relationship say they try to be back by 7:30pm!?!?! Well if you've got kids that's pretty much bedtime for young kids!! So you don't even allocate time for them. As I said selfish.[/QUOTE

Just to note I also have horses, which is why we work.
For the poor husbands/boyfriends who don't and get carried along for the ride (pun intended) I don't envy you....
Women seem to become obsessed (especially when showing) its definitely not a hobby, its a lifestyle!!!
 

Lipglosspukka

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My bf helps with the horses sometimes but as a rule will leave me to it.

I'm very concious of the time we spend together though. I try and ride weekday mornings before work and save most weekends for him, bar perhaps one or two shows a month through summer.
 

jkitten

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And using the platform of a thread about someone else's relationship to do it - crass, potentially hurtful and very not cool

This is a very good point. We don't know how OP feels about this moment in their lives, potentially they've just got a nasty reminder in their inbox during what is already a sensitive time of year for many (especially this year!).

Moral of the story being, if you really need to share your bitter rant with the world, at least give it its thread!
 

PurBee

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By cutting my quote you are misquoting me. I said his action of going in the huff is the problem.

I said we don't know if she is being unreasonable (and frankly the comment about how some happy hacker cob would make it easier to have a relationship rather than the op's presumably badly behaved "competition horses" no mere man dare be around, makes me think more along those lines anyway!)

His behaviour of ignoring the op because he hasn't got what he wanted, is the red flag to me.

For me too, him ‘ignoring’ OP because he’s offended the weekend wasnt spent together, is childish, passive-aggressive and would be a maaaajjjjoooooor red flag where i’ll happily quit the guy.
If that is his way to react to something not to his liking, in this ‘honeymoon phase’ of the relationship, then the future is bleak with such a chap, sorry to say.

Emotionally mature, grown-up adult folk want to talk issues through.

Find a guy who also has a busy career he’s passionate about too, who also wants a relationship but doesnt have time to commit daily/every weekend to one, right now.
 

Winters100

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I have not read the whole thread, but I would say that many of us recognise the pressure that anything time consuming, whether it be business or hobby, places on a relationship.

What works for us to keep a happy household might of course not be appropriate for others, but I make sure I manage home life meticulously, so there can never be a complaint about an unsatisfactory state of cleanliness or an un-ironed shirt. I earn my own money, so that goes a long way to keeping complaints down, costs of horses are mine alone as are majority of household costs. I have not once in the last 5 years failed to provide breakfast, if I am leaving first I prepare it in advance. I pack a lunch if he wants one, and supper is easy to manage as I prepare a lot in advance. All household tasks are mine from walking dogs to bringing in wood for the fire. When he comes home from work all he has to do is relax, the bed is made, towels picked up, laundry done, house tidy. If I need help I pay for it myself, but mostly I just get up early. He recognises that he is well cared for compared to his colleagues and does not complain if I am a long time at the stable.

I am fully expecting that many of you will view this as old fashioned, but we are both very happy with the arrangement. He has a busy job and can focus on that, I juggle my business and the household and horses. I now fully expect the replies saying that I have turned myself into a slave, but I can assure you that it is not the case, we have a great life, I don't remember the last time we argued, and for us it works really well.
 

Frumpoon

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Allow me to translate...



'My girlfriend doesn't pay me enough attention - and actually expects me to pull my weight in the relationship.'



'Sometimes I even have to 'babysit' my own children (I'm a great dad obv) so she can go to the loo, have a shower - or worst of all, go out to see her horse. She should be with the children 24/7'.



'Me! Me! It should all be about me! Pay attention to me!'



'The girl in the newsagent smiled at me. She wants me, I tell you! My girlfriend should be more grateful and pay me attention at ALL times as I am a prize!'

;)

The problem with posts like this is I can only like them the once ?
 

Shilasdair

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Wow, you are the epitome of a horse woman. You can't see beyond horses and you don't care how they would affect a relationship!! I guarantee you are single or with a very unhappy partner!!!

I see even the women who say they 'compromise' in the relationship say they try to be back by 7:30pm!?!?! Well if you've got kids that's pretty much bedtime for young kids!! So you don't even allocate time for them. As I said selfish.


:D
 
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