I am BLAZING mad!

[tristar]

I've had it when I had a poorly animal that died and I didn't make it, so I don't have to tell you what I'd do because it has happened and it left me in a very bad way for along time (it is 10 years this November to be precise).
Trusting the vet telling us that our dog was a drama queen and yet they were slowly dying and me not being there when they did die, made me make a promise that I would never leave any of my animals in that position again. My work place in which I have been at all that time saw what that did to me and I received nothing but understanding. I came to work the next day even though I was heartbroken and most people didn't expect me in and some tried to send me home - but what would I have done at home - he was gone.
This whole thread started because of how one poster got zero understanding from their manager about what could have been a life ending condition for their beloved pet in an emergency situation - I'm fully on the side of alwaysmoretoknow, because I've been in the position where I've lost a beloved animal and also saved one, so what happens - if I can get there I will turn heaven and earth to get there (and break every speed limit). If it is end of life and the vet is there I will trust my (horse, not necessarily dog) vet to do what is best for my animal, but if I'm not there OH would be.
Hope that answers your question and why I get so annoyed when pet emergencies aren't classed as important - they are to me.

a drama queen? my god when an animal is ill and trying to tell you something!


yes and i too have heard those words, still thinking about it.

 

[Chippers1]

I confess I’ve not read the whole thread but surely this all depends on your industry and your specific role? In OP’s case I agree the boss sounds pretty insensitive or at the very least like it’s not the right job for the OP. OP, I hope you can find somewhere better suited to you and your lifestyle.

We run a travel business and therefore nothing particularly urgent and not anything that would put someone’s life in danger if someone can’t come in. The work is not time-sensitive in most cases or essential. Our two employees have working hours to suit their horsey lifestyles (office hours 9-6 but one starts 9.30 and one at 10 to allow riding and mucking out time). They can schedule saddle fitter, dentist etc in work hours if it has been agreed beforehand and they either make up the hours or take it as holiday time. In the event of a pet-related emergency they are not expected to come in and if they needed some time off if their horse, dog or other was PTS then I would not expect them to take it as holiday or make the time up. Having said all of that, they work hard, don’t take advantage of these facts and I trust them to do what they can, if they can. We all help to cover each other in any periods of absence to ensure no negative impact for our clients. I should add that we work in equestrian travel so being ‘horsey’ is considered part of it.

Do I think this is how it should be for all jobs/businesses/industries? Absolutely not, that’s just not feasible. I have the utmost respect for those of you managing larger teams in a more formal setting, I couldn’t do it. How to show compassion but get the job done, meet targets and so on… very difficult.

I agree with this. I work for a multinational Petcare company and it is very similar. I set my working hours (7:30-3:30) so I can ride in the afternoons and this is fully accepted. I can also fit vet/farrier/dentist appointments in during the day, and I will work the extra hour or so I've taken out but it's not strictly monitored. If I had a pet related emergency I would absolutely be allowed the time off at short notice, although I would probably take it as a holiday day.

My role would not endanger anyone and bits of it can be picked up by others in an emergency, but I can see how in a different role or company it would not be as flexible and I also have respect for those working to those stricter conditions.

I do enjoy my job though and there's a lot of focus on work/life balance (although of course there are a few who are very work focused!) we even get pet-ernity leave when we get a new pet which is a nice bonus

 

[Dave's Mam]

I work in Facilities Management for a multinational company, and I must say that they are fantastic about maintaining work / life balance.
I take a long lunch, so I can ride & fetch in in winter, but then I work later on in the evening, so they have cover later, it works both ways. I mainly work from home now & am 5 minutes from the yard, so any appointments that can't be slotted into my lunchtime aren't a great disruption & I make the time back anyway.
However if they need cover, or need an extra hand on the deck, I am there, because they do it for me.

 

[SadKen]

My previous employer would have declined leave for a sick or dying animal, so I simply told them it was me who was poorly and took the time I needed.

My current employer is far more sensible, and indeed I had my beloved mare PTS one morning and was working an hour later, because not working would have been worse.

I firmly reject the ‘children are more important’ mantra, because people peddling that approach with my previous employer led to parents being given priority for Xmas and summer holidays because they had children. People without children have lives and commitments which are just as important to them as children are to their parents. People without children do not deserve to be considered lesser, or their time away from work as less important. I am no more fit to work in an emergency involving my animal than parents are in an emergency involving their children.

Time off policy applies to the worker and their capacity to work, not the needs of the animal or child, who are unrelated to the business. It’s the only fair way. If it isn’t about the worker’s capacity but about whether the manager deems their situation as important or not, that sets up unfairness as it encourages and supports manager and business bias.

My previous employer deemed animals unimportant. I deemed myself incapable for work due to dealing with an emergency with my animals, so used a reason they deemed acceptable ie personal illness. Job done and a happy employer, showing how stupid a bias it was.

 

[Alwaysmoretoknow]

So the outcome of the whole (totally unnecessary drama) is....nothing.

Line manager had meeting with boss today and explained that colic in horses was very different to colic in babies and potentially fatal (which I did point out but she plainly did not have her 'listening' ears on). She also pointed out that many other colleagues (who are also pet and horse owners) were aghast at her attitude especially as I did come in and cover all the necessary work which the other colleagues said they wouldn't have done under the circumstances ( which tbh made me feel a bit shit although I was fairly confident that tiddly shettie was OK before I left her).

So apparently 'we are going to draw a line under it'. Lol. A face-saving position if ever there was one.

Am I going to get an apology - no. Will I ever go above and beyond for this employer (as opposed to our clients) again? Also no. Will I be open to other opportunities? Definitely yes.

So big up for my line manager. And thank all of you for your support.

 

[Barton Bounty]

Good outcome!!

 

[Tiddlypom]

Good for you. I am disgusted, but not surprised, that you are not getting an apology from your boss.

Will I ever go above and beyond for this employer (as opposed to our clients) again? Also no. Will I be open to other opportunities? Definitely yes.

And that, folks, is what happens when employers treat their good workers poorly and without due consideration. They lose them.

There is a lot more to being a good boss than just cracking the whip.

 

[Alwaysmoretoknow]

The really stupid thing is it could all have gone so differently.

Hi you - I'm really sorry to hear your pony is sick - is it serious?
Thank you so much for coming in under such adverse circumstances.
What can we do to support you to get the important tasks done so you can get back to your pony?
We really appreciate your dedication to your role, hope your pony is OK and will remember your dedication in future.

 

[Red-1]

The really stupid thing is it could all have gone so differently.

Hi you - I'm really sorry to hear your pony is sick - is it serious?
Thank you so much for coming in under such adverse circumstances.
What can we do to support you to get the important tasks done so you can get back to your pony?
We really appreciate your dedication to your role, hope your pony is OK and will remember your dedication in future.

This is what I thought. Either give the time off or don't, but don't give the time off with bad grace. You still lose the person for the emergency but end up with bad feeling too. Lose/lose!

 

[windswoo]

I'm sorry about your bad experience with your dog.


I have had around 15 horses, probably the same number of dogs and a lot more other animals PTS/have serious illnesses. Your comment above is uncalled for and nasty partly because you don't know me but also it was made because I had a different opinion to you.

So If those had been in worktime I would have been telling my employer on very many occasions that I was not coming in/walkingout.
My hobby and up to me to sort things.

Hi Paddy.
Yes your situation is completely different to mine and as you say with that many animals you do need to be organised. I have two pampered poochies and two horses who are basically beloved pets and that is it, so I wouldn't dream of telling you how to run what must be quite a complex hobby and as said before you have to do it your way. Sorry if I sounded harsh and true I don't know you just as I don't know anyone on here (I think), but this thread was becoming very personal to my previous situation and bought up some memories that I really thought I'd let go of. I won't be commenting on this thread anymore as it's just upset me too much.
OP - glad your line manager stepped in and hope it doesn't, but if it does happen again you may get a better response from your boss.

 

[Abi90]

My boss has been away on holiday for three weeks and her first day back and asked how search for a new horse is going. She knows I am going to get another one at some point.

I report to the CEO and she told me that she has to balance the needs of the organisation against the needs of the individual and it is hard sometimes.

Several of our charity trustees when they found out I had a horse asked how I managed the situation alongside work. I explained I was on part livery so having a horse should most of the time have zero impact on my work the only time it might be an issue would be in a situation where there was a life threatening situation where I would want to be there in case the horse had to be PTS as I would want to be with him during his last moments. They felt reassured.

Our contracts state that we must not do activities outside of our work that might prevent us from working which includes sporting activities which might be deemed as dangerous. I ran it past a lawyer friend who said it probably was not enforceable but I didn't mention I had a horse for about 6 months in case they started getting worried I might get injured or it might be in breach of the contract.

Thankfully my boss has always been reasonable but it is a two way thing. She knows I am doing everything I can to ensure I am reliable. Before she meet me she had never meet anyone who had owned a horse before or managed anyone who had a pet. None of her family or friends have ever had pets. This is all new to her. I have had to ask for short notice days off due to colic but other than that terrible few months during the last year of Homey's life I made sure I gave at least 2 weeks notice if I wanted a day off and no days off at all during our peak work time which is January till end of April.

I admit the pressure when Homey was colicing frequently and the feeling that I would become really unreliable for important work meetings was making me very anxious. Keeping the job was becoming more important due to vet bills which 3 colic calls out afternoon and one night amounting to a bill over £1000. If I lost my job and couldn't find another one I would be ok with my savings for 6 months but if I was also having to cover 12k of vet bills as well with no income the money would have soon run out.

I will be having a conversation with my boss when I get my new horse. She has been very understanding but I really worry if she leaves a future manager may not be. However I did have 13 years of horse ownership with no colics or emergency vet calls that required me to leave work immediately or call in the morning and say I was not coming in.

In my last job I got a new director he told me when he found out I had a horse that his PA in his last job had a horse and was always needing short notice requests to leave work to deal with things and it was disruptive. He had been at my work for 1 day when a horse on my old yard died of sycamore poisoning and I had to ask for a day off the next day order to move my horse to another yard that was sycamore free. That was the only time in the three years we worked together that I had to ask for a short notice day off so I hope when I left I had proved to him that horse ownership does not necessarily mean lots of short notice requests to deal with emergencies.

I was 15 years in my previous job and when I left as I needed a better paid job after moving on to part livery HR called me when they were preparing my reference to let me know they had done it they said my absence record for sick leave was remarkable as I had so few sick days. I did have to have 2 days off due to concussion when I was not allowed to use a computer or sceen for 2 days but other than that I had no sick leave for 13 years and had to take one short notice AL day to move yards because of the sycamore.

I have been lucky also in my current job to have not needed any sick leave apart from when I had bad covid when I had 2 weeks sick leave I had 7 days where I could barely get out of bed. I had just recovered from Covid on the Tues when I got the bad news that when Homey went into hospital for his review that his stomach was full again after his overnight scope and it was a ticking time bomb in terms of more colics and eventually risk of his stomach rupturing. Vet recommended PTS but said he would probably be okay for a few more days so I could spend some more time with him. I called my boss in floods of tears asked if I could have the rest of the week as AL to spend with Homey before he was PTS on Friday and appreciated that I had already had 7 days of sick leave and it was really inconvenient. She immediately told me to take it as sick leave and that she would tell everyone I was still off with Covid as we had a company policy of two weeks of paid sick leave with no doctors note if you have Covid.

My sister's work were also really good and she was able to get the Friday off at short notice to be with me and to take me home with her so I was not alone. My work also agreed that I could stay with my sister for a week and work from there and not come into the office.

We also had a staff meeting the first week I was back and I told everyone I had lost Homey and due to this I was struggling with my mental health so that everyone knew to be kind to me and that I would not be my normal sunny happy self. It is nearly a year now and I am still not back to normal. My colleagues are all asking about how my horse search is going. I think they will be relieved when I have a new horse and hoping it will lift my spirits. I don't think I have been a great colleague since I have lost Homey although I have worked a huge amount of extra hours.

People don't understand pet grief and the only way for people to understand is to try and educate. As a result of my grief I have been better able to support colleagues who have recently lost close relatives.

I think transparency is important and there is an element of being brave enough to be open with your employer that you have a pet and as most pets have to be PTS and it may come as an emergency situation you may have to take time off at short notice at an inconvenient time. I would also as a horse owner explain that horses can get this condition that is called colic which is incredibly serious and can be life threatening and if they get that then you will need to be with them as they might need to be PTS. That this colic is very different from the colic that children get. People may be familiar with the term colic with children and presume that in horses it is similar mild condition.

I would also say if you do need to be there for every vet appointment not just life threatening ones then you may want to avoid roles in medicine, law, events or facilities management where it might be harder to get AL at certain times. You probably need a role where you can clock in and out whenever you need to without it being annoying for your employer.

I am completely astounded that any employer thinks that they have the right to question you on or dictate to you what you do in your personal time. Even the military wouldn’t do that. I can’t see how that is remotely legal? And it doesn’t foster a good atmosphere, having to effectively ask permission or explain how you’re going to cope… its not a sales pitch yo your parents as a teenager.

 

[FAYEFUDGE]

So this morning I noticed my little 28yo shettie looked a little off. Not eating new bit of grass on the strip grazing (unheard of for a Shetland!) and standing apart from the other 2, shifting her weight from one hind leg to the other and I could see her abdominal muscles clenching periodically. Immediately ruled out lami (not typical signs and no pulses or warm feet) and suspected mild colic. Immediately called work to let them know I had an emergency.

Called vet quick smart who came out in half an hour and confirmed mild spasmodic colic. IV pain relief and Buscopan given. Advised to walk gently round paddock periodically and observe.

Informed work that I had a sick pony and might not be in or would certainly be late (depending on how she seemed) and would only be in for a few hours (much against my better judgement but work at solicitors doing conveyancing accounts and 3 out of 5 colleagues on leave - really poor planning as it takes 2 people to send out payments!) so was trying to balance pony's welfare against work responsibilities.

So get into work and blast through completions and say I'm leaving at 3 to check on pony.

Get call from boss berating me for 1. Coming in late 2. Planning to leave early and 3. (best of all!) being 'irresponsible ' for not having someone to step in to look after horses if there was a problem when I should be at work. Also said 'you know I'm an animal lover' - really? Not from how you are behaving! Banged on about contractual obligations so pointed out I would be in breech of welfare obligations to leave colicing pony untreated and there were other people who could step in to authorise payments in an emergency which it was including her who was only titting about at home.

So are you actually saying that none of your employees should have and sort of aminals if you live alone - what absolute bollix.

Apparently 'we are going to pick this up later'. Can't wait. I think she owes ME an apology for their shitty management and lack of empathy or they can shove their job where no recruitment consultant would fear to tread.

For context I have not had 1 sick day in the 3 years I've worked there, had 2 days off when my mum died and no time off when I lost my 2 cats and doggy so I hardly treat turning up at work in a 'casual' manner.

Will now be looking for a new job.
AITA?

Bet if it had of been a child sick not a word would have been said…..

 

[Caol Ila]

Before she meet me she had never meet anyone who had owned a horse before or managed anyone who had a pet

I'm also struggling to get my head around this. Your boss has never managed anyone who had a pet?? A dog? A cat? Tropical fish? Really?

 

[paddy555]

Hi Paddy.
Yes your situation is completely different to mine and as you say with that many animals you do need to be organised. I have two pampered poochies and two horses who are basically beloved pets and that is it, so I wouldn't dream of telling you how to run what must be quite a complex hobby and as said before you have to do it your way. Sorry if I sounded harsh and true I don't know you just as I don't know anyone on here (I think), but this thread was becoming very personal to my previous situation and bought up some memories that I really thought I'd let go of. I won't be commenting on this thread anymore as it's just upset me too much.

hi windswoo, thanks for your comments and again I'm sorry about what you went through with your dog.

 

[Abi90]

I am completely astounded that any employer thinks that they have the right to question you on or dictate to you what you do in your personal time. Even the military wouldn’t do that. I can’t see how that is remotely legal? And it doesn’t foster a good atmosphere, having to effectively ask permission or explain how you’re going to cope… its not a sales pitch yo your parents as a teenager.

Do they vet people’s partners? Because a bad partner can be a massive distraction in work.

 

[Red-1]

I am completely astounded that any employer thinks that they have the right to question you on or dictate to you what you do in your personal time. Even the military wouldn’t do that. I can’t see how that is remotely legal? And it doesn’t foster a good atmosphere, having to effectively ask permission or explain how you’re going to cope… its not a sales pitch yo your parents as a teenager.

When I was eventing I had a boss who suggested that it wasn't fair as I might hurt myself. Ironic really as my injuries have almost all been work related.

I also had the same boss tell me to cancel attendance at a local hunt I'd helped organise for many of our people to attend using hirelings. Apparently that wasn't fair as I could make the whole department sick! Yes, as it was two had a tumble, but both were fine and came home with big smiles and enthusiasm. More than half the department were there, and everyone liked it enough to do it all again. No injuries apart from one person, who didn't even fall, whose hireling was hogged. Fine carpet rash on her chin . Nothing else at all.

 

[Caol Ila]

In my company, you will not do anything that could be harmful or cause you to miss work. That includes smoking, drinking, having children, cycling, driving if it's to anywhere that is not work, hiking, in fact leaving the house for any reason that's not work, and definitely no animals that could injure you or end up in the vet.

Actually, it will be like the Borg. When you're not assimilating other planets and blowing up Federation starships, you will go into your little pod where you will be plugged into a computer, well out of harm's way, until you come back to work the next day.

Does anyone want to work for me?

 

[Annagain]

In my company, you will not do anything that could be harmful or cause you to miss work. That includes smoking, drinking, having children, cycling, driving if it's to anywhere that is not work, hiking, in fact leaving the house for any reason that's not work, and definitely no animals that could injure you or end up in the vet.

Actually, it will be like the Borg. When you're not assimilating other planets and blowing up Federation starships, you will go into your little pod where you will be plugged into a computer, well out of harm's way, until you come back to work the next day.

Does anyone want to work for me?

Am I ok to put the kettle on or is the risk of electrocution / scalding myself too great? I don't think I could function without coffee but might hurt myself making it. It's the ultimate Catch 22.

 

[Caol Ila]

Am I ok to put the kettle on or is the risk of electrocution / scalding myself too great? I don't think I could function without coffee but might hurt myself making it. It's the ultimate Catch 22.

If you are plugged into your Borg pod, you don't need coffee. You get everything you need from the computer system.

 

[Katieg123]

Am I ok to put the kettle on or is the risk of electrocution / scalding myself too great? I don't think I could function without coffee but might hurt myself making it. It's the ultimate Catch 22.

The trick is to just put the instant coffee granules straight in your mouth! Its not pleasant but certainly prevents you possibly missing a few valuable working minutes!

 

[Barton Bounty]

In my company, you will not do anything that could be harmful or cause you to miss work. That includes smoking, drinking, having children, cycling, driving if it's to anywhere that is not work, hiking, in fact leaving the house for any reason that's not work, and definitely no animals that could injure you or end up in the vet.

Actually, it will be like the Borg. When you're not assimilating other planets and blowing up Federation starships, you will go into your little pod where you will be plugged into a computer, well out of harm's way, until you come back to work the next day.

Does anyone want to work for me?

HARD PASS SORRY

 

[Tiddlypom]

Do they vet people’s partners? Because a bad partner can be a massive distraction in work.

Are partners even permitted? They would be a distraction, wouldn't they, tsk tsk, can't have that.

Best check too that any elderly parents have already shuffled off the mortal coil so they don't become a tiresome distraction from Work.