WJT
Well-Known Member
Yes, will do. This is only a problem until summer when all will be brought in later meaning she isn't left behind
Thankyou
I give up!! Separation anxiety??
- Thread starter WJT
- Start date
Yes, will do. This is only a problem until summer when all will be brought in later meaning she isn't left behind
Thankyoudevonlass
Well-Known Member
Really?? I often say I can't do something and my horses seem to survive.As I'm not willing or able to always let them rule my life or take priority over everything else they don't really have a choice
I agree with doing all that is *reasonably* possible,but I think you're being very unrealistic saying she HAS to change her life and that what she is doing isn't 'good enough'.Would you be saying that to a more adult poster that had a job or family commitments and was struggling??
Not everyone can let their horse rule their life and schedule,or would want to.
WJT- It sounds like she's not keen on individual turnout,but there's not a lot you can do about that so stop giving yourself a hard time.
Ask the other liveries if they would mind helping you out with her and the bringing in thing,I understand you not wanting to burden them,but you might find they would rather help out than see her distressed.There might be something you can do for them at some point,sure even people who like to do things themselves won't turn down free poo picking in the summer for example
If you really can't change anything then you might just have to let her get on with it.She's young and not experienced this type of set up before,as she get's older,more confident and more used to how it all works you might find she learns to cope with it.
I have a welsh cob who doesn't like to be alone in the field.I do all I can for him within reason for the times he has to be alone,but ultimately i can't run my life or routine around a clingy cob,so he just has to deal with it I'm afraid.
He is older than your mare,so less likely to ever be good at being alone,but even he has learned to cope to an extent and is better than he used to be.
Still has bad days,but even those he survives and no worse for wear afterwards,they don't generally keel over from being a stress head IME
Do what you can,but stop beating yourself up about what you can't do would be my advice.
maccachic
Well-Known Member
I haven't read all the posts but I had these issues with my guy who is now a chilled lamb.
A combo of things fixed it.
He learnt some connected riding groundwork stuff which taught him to self relax. http://www.connectedriding.com/
He had grass issues and required magnesium (which I now believe was ulcer induced, his ulcers are now mostly resloved and is now on a balanced diet and doesn't require additional magnesium)
Ground work in a round yard was also useful.
A combo of things fixed it.
He learnt some connected riding groundwork stuff which taught him to self relax. http://www.connectedriding.com/
He had grass issues and required magnesium (which I now believe was ulcer induced, his ulcers are now mostly resloved and is now on a balanced diet and doesn't require additional magnesium)
Ground work in a round yard was also useful.
[69117]
Well-Known Member
If one of my liveries horses was unhappy on my yard, and it wasn't anything that could be remedied unless the horse moved to a yard more suited to it, I would be furious if the livery decided to stay because they liked the yard. I would probably give them notice to be honest.
Horses first, people second.
If your horse is this stressed, and nothing can be changed at your current yard, you need to move. It's not fair to keep a horse in a situation that you know she finds stressful, just because you like the yard.
Horses first, people second.
If your horse is this stressed, and nothing can be changed at your current yard, you need to move. It's not fair to keep a horse in a situation that you know she finds stressful, just because you like the yard.
Foxhunter49
Well-Known Member
Find a strong tree with a thick unbreakable branch overhead. Tie a strong rope over the branch and tie the horse to the branch and leave it there. Let it fuss and worry until it is standing quietly and resting a back leg. Then return it to the field.stable. This could be an all day job but each time it is tied it will settle faster.
When it is happy to stand quietly on its own then there will not be the problem of it being so fussed about the rest of its herd.
When it is happy to stand quietly on its own then there will not be the problem of it being so fussed about the rest of its herd.
1stclassalan
Well-Known Member
Yep - there's yer problem! 5 year old stating her case - but be advised that I didn't get my mare till she was at least 13 and forget the sticky legs - I often had a sticky head!!! That old trough could be perishing cold on a winter's morn!
How much work is your mare getting? What type is she and how much food is she scoffing? A lot of this behaviour is - as others have pointed out - a character trait but it can be modified and ameliorated. My girl was a very well built Anglo Irish about 16hh and could get quite panicky ( a sight to see let alone sit to!) yet she eventually settled to a life of changes in the way of horseyfriends, paddocks and bring-in times but could rely on the fact that I would be with her at least twice a day ( I needed to see her then else I got panicky!)
1stclassalan
Well-Known Member
This is the kind of breaking that belongs back in the Bronze Age or Monty Roberts's father - when most people thought it was fine to be cruel to be kind - the horse has to buckle down to human desire or nothing.
If I saw anyone tying a horse's leg over a tree - let me tell you - there would be some breaking done!
I've not read a post on here that's annoyed me so much!! If this is the way you would treat a stressed animal....... I do hope you are reincarnated as one and one of them becomes your owner!!!
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PandorasJar
Well-Known Member
I have to agree with blucanoo.
If the horse is very unhappy and the current yard doesn't have the facilities to make it work, I'd move.
I agree that horses shouldnt completely rule someone's life and mine don't get mollycoddled, but if one is this messed up with the current situation they'd move instantly. This is a situation which will get worse, not better if you leave it. I also would have got down earlier on weekends long before now if that was an issue.
Agree 1stclass. I think you've misread slightly and not tied by leg, but this is the kind of solution that will truly break a horse
If the horse is very unhappy and the current yard doesn't have the facilities to make it work, I'd move.
I agree that horses shouldnt completely rule someone's life and mine don't get mollycoddled, but if one is this messed up with the current situation they'd move instantly. This is a situation which will get worse, not better if you leave it. I also would have got down earlier on weekends long before now if that was an issue.
Agree 1stclass. I think you've misread slightly and not tied by leg, but this is the kind of solution that will truly break a horse
AmyMay
Situation normal
Bless you. It would be funny if it wasn't so totally awful
Do you ever come up with a solution that doesn't involve some sort of Barbary??OP You can quite simply solve your mare's problems by addressing your management.
Weekends don't mean lie in's when you have a horse - so be at the yard the same time as everyone else, and ride and get your horse out.
1stclassalan
Well-Known Member
Agree 1stclass. I think you've misread slightly and not tied by leg, but this is the kind of solution that will truly break a horse
Foxhunter49 said:
Agreed, not specifically by the leg - but why not go the whole hog and sling a noose aroung its neck - animals have habit of going limp after that!
Pinkvboots
Well-Known Member
I also found once I had a strong bond my mare she was much better, being worked properly everyday is also essential when they are full of energy everything is heightened for them.
I also would take my horse away from the stressfull situation, putting her on the walker for ten minutes really helped or simply tie her up outside with a haynet would work also.
My horse is happy to go anywhere alone with me now, and when I first got her if I took her away from my gelding she would rear and be quite dangerous to lead so you can get them through it you just have to find the routine that works for her.
I also would take my horse away from the stressfull situation, putting her on the walker for ten minutes really helped or simply tie her up outside with a haynet would work also.
My horse is happy to go anywhere alone with me now, and when I first got her if I took her away from my gelding she would rear and be quite dangerous to lead so you can get them through it you just have to find the routine that works for her.
WJT
Well-Known Member
Really?? I often say I can't do something and my horses seem to survive.As I'm not willing or able to always let them rule my life or take priority over everything else they don't really have a choice
I agree with doing all that is *reasonably* possible,but I think you're being very unrealistic saying she HAS to change her life and that what she is doing isn't 'good enough'.Would you be saying that to a more adult poster that had a job or family commitments and was struggling??
Not everyone can let their horse rule their life and schedule,or would want to.
WJT- It sounds like she's not keen on individual turnout,but there's not a lot you can do about that so stop giving yourself a hard time.
Ask the other liveries if they would mind helping you out with her and the bringing in thing,I understand you not wanting to burden them,but you might find they would rather help out than see her distressed.There might be something you can do for them at some point,sure even people who like to do things themselves won't turn down free poo picking in the summer for example
If you really can't change anything then you might just have to let her get on with it.She's young and not experienced this type of set up before,as she get's older,more confident and more used to how it all works you might find she learns to cope with it.
I have a welsh cob who doesn't like to be alone in the field.I do all I can for him within reason for the times he has to be alone,but ultimately i can't run my life or routine around a clingy cob,so he just has to deal with it I'm afraid.
He is older than your mare,so less likely to ever be good at being alone,but even he has learned to cope to an extent and is better than he used to be.
Still has bad days,but even those he survives and no worse for wear afterwards,they don't generally keel over from being a stress head IME
Do what you can,but stop beating yourself up about what you can't do would be my advice.
Thankyou!
I won't see any liveries until the weekend as they are gone by the time i get there but i will sort out something at the weekend, hopefully someone will be able to bring her up for me in return for help with jobs etc WJT
Well-Known Member
WJT
Well-Known Member
She's fine at the yard, she just stresses at bringing in time, it's not like she's on her own for hours, half an hour at the most. I'm going to change things so she isn't the last one in. She also has to learn to be on her own, she's not always going to be with other horses in her lifetime so at her young age will need to learn that it is okay to be on her own for a certain amount of time. thankyou
Wagtail
Horse servant
What you describe is perfectly normal behaviour. All of the horses here would react like that if they had to stay out on their own. Horses that are not in the next field do not count! I would get someone to bring her in at the same time as the others.
WJT
Well-Known Member
Do you mean tying her up where she has no company or where there is company?
Wagtail
Horse servant
Wagtail
Horse servant
You are joking, right?
WJT
Well-Known Member
She's worked twice a week, will be back to 4-5 times a week once the nights are lighter. We don't know her breed, i put a post asking on here and majority of the posts said a TB crossed with something native, i think she is mostly native with part TB. She has half a slice of a square bale of hay on a morning, then half a slice of hay when she's brought in. I want her to learn that it is okay for her to be on her own for a small amount of time, as later in her life she might find she's on her own sometimes and i want her to be able to cope with that, thankyou
WJT
Well-Known Member
I was thinking that
WJT
Well-Known Member
WJT
Well-Known Member
Oh the poor mare. No wonder she's anxious.
I think she liked being on her own after being bullied at her old home, she was bullied by another mare in the field she was kept in, she came to me covered in bites. Also she certainly would have told me if she didn't like being on her own, with the fence having no electric she could have escaped but never did. She wasn't alone every night, just a couple when the others had been kept in.
AnnaGHDT
Active Member
WJT - There has been some great advice given on your thread....along with some down right frightening (e.g. find a strong tree.....blah blah blah!). From your posts it is obvious that you realise which are the better bits of advice, which is good as it terrifies me when people suggest some out right ridiculous and cruel things!
It is very possible to solve the problem of separation anxiety, along with good management (as a number of other people have suggested, with correct feeding, most turn out possible, etc) and also with a good desensitisation and counter conditioning programme.
Basically, all that means is working on the problem in very small steps, to gradually increase her confidence and help her to understand that being left alone doesn't have to be frightening. Firstly it is well worth you trying to work out whether there is one horse in particular that she prefers to be with, as she may have a stronger bond with one than others. Whilst you are working on the issue, you will need to try to prevent her from being on her own, so as people have suggested perhaps ask a friend whether they could do your horse at the same time as theirs, just whilst you are working on the problem.
Then you need to start from really small baby steps. Start with just your horse and one other (either in field or stable), and lead the other horse literally just one small step away. As long as your horse doesn't react, then lead the horse back a step again. Repeat this over and over until your horse doesn't even pay any attention. Then do the same, taking the other horse two steps and then back, then three steps and so on. The important thing to remember is not to move on too quickly - if your horse gets upset it means you have taken the other horse too far at that stage in your training, so just don't go so many steps away next time. It will take a little time, but will be well worth the time spent.
Once you have worked through those steps, then you can also add in a reward for your horse when she is left alone - choose something that she loves, maybe carrots, and drop them into a bucket for her, so that she then learns that being left alone is actually not only bearable but also enjoyable.
It is important to ask everyone to make sure that during the weeks that you are following the training problem your horse isn't left alone, as that will of course take you right back to square one again. By following these small steps your horse will be able to overcome the problem confidently, and is unlikely to regress over time. It is an important issue to work through properly, as otherwise it may really hamper your enjoyment with your horse later on, with simple things becoming really stressful for both you and your horse.
Hope that you get on ok, and do persevere, you will get there in the end. Best of luck
It is very possible to solve the problem of separation anxiety, along with good management (as a number of other people have suggested, with correct feeding, most turn out possible, etc) and also with a good desensitisation and counter conditioning programme.
Basically, all that means is working on the problem in very small steps, to gradually increase her confidence and help her to understand that being left alone doesn't have to be frightening. Firstly it is well worth you trying to work out whether there is one horse in particular that she prefers to be with, as she may have a stronger bond with one than others. Whilst you are working on the issue, you will need to try to prevent her from being on her own, so as people have suggested perhaps ask a friend whether they could do your horse at the same time as theirs, just whilst you are working on the problem.
Then you need to start from really small baby steps. Start with just your horse and one other (either in field or stable), and lead the other horse literally just one small step away. As long as your horse doesn't react, then lead the horse back a step again. Repeat this over and over until your horse doesn't even pay any attention. Then do the same, taking the other horse two steps and then back, then three steps and so on. The important thing to remember is not to move on too quickly - if your horse gets upset it means you have taken the other horse too far at that stage in your training, so just don't go so many steps away next time. It will take a little time, but will be well worth the time spent.
Once you have worked through those steps, then you can also add in a reward for your horse when she is left alone - choose something that she loves, maybe carrots, and drop them into a bucket for her, so that she then learns that being left alone is actually not only bearable but also enjoyable.
It is important to ask everyone to make sure that during the weeks that you are following the training problem your horse isn't left alone, as that will of course take you right back to square one again. By following these small steps your horse will be able to overcome the problem confidently, and is unlikely to regress over time. It is an important issue to work through properly, as otherwise it may really hamper your enjoyment with your horse later on, with simple things becoming really stressful for both you and your horse.
Hope that you get on ok, and do persevere, you will get there in the end. Best of luck
Wagtail
Horse servant
No, I was more getting at the fact that she has had three homes in just over a year. It is no wonder she has separation issues.
WJT
Well-Known Member
WJT - There has been some great advice given on your thread....along with some down right frightening (e.g. find a strong tree.....blah blah blah!). From your posts it is obvious that you realise which are the better bits of advice, which is good as it terrifies me when people suggest some out right ridiculous and cruel things!
It is very possible to solve the problem of separation anxiety, along with good management (as a number of other people have suggested, with correct feeding, most turn out possible, etc) and also with a good desensitisation and counter conditioning programme.
Basically, all that means is working on the problem in very small steps, to gradually increase her confidence and help her to understand that being left alone doesn't have to be frightening. Firstly it is well worth you trying to work out whether there is one horse in particular that she prefers to be with, as she may have a stronger bond with one than others. Whilst you are working on the issue, you will need to try to prevent her from being on her own, so as people have suggested perhaps ask a friend whether they could do your horse at the same time as theirs, just whilst you are working on the problem.
Then you need to start from really small baby steps. Start with just your horse and one other (either in field or stable), and lead the other horse literally just one small step away. As long as your horse doesn't react, then lead the horse back a step again. Repeat this over and over until your horse doesn't even pay any attention. Then do the same, taking the other horse two steps and then back, then three steps and so on. The important thing to remember is not to move on too quickly - if your horse gets upset it means you have taken the other horse too far at that stage in your training, so just don't go so many steps away next time. It will take a little time, but will be well worth the time spent.
Once you have worked through those steps, then you can also add in a reward for your horse when she is left alone - choose something that she loves, maybe carrots, and drop them into a bucket for her, so that she then learns that being left alone is actually not only bearable but also enjoyable.
It is important to ask everyone to make sure that during the weeks that you are following the training problem your horse isn't left alone, as that will of course take you right back to square one again. By following these small steps your horse will be able to overcome the problem confidently, and is unlikely to regress over time. It is an important issue to work through properly, as otherwise it may really hamper your enjoyment with your horse later on, with simple things becoming really stressful for both you and your horse.
Hope that you get on ok, and do persevere, you will get there in the end. Best of luck
Thanks a lot! I will let you know how i get on.
topstripelucy
Well-Known Member
My gelding is just the same. Had him 2 years and he hates being on his own, it was ok when in livery as i managed it with a companion who was constantly there and he knew that and eventually settled well. I have had to bring him home to be with my daughters pony and he has gone back to the stress head pguy i bought! He goes mental when the pony is out of earshot. I have started lunging him in the school now and after 5 mins of neighing he is now after a couple of days settling down to work nicely. However when my daughter wants to ride her pony at the weekend its going to be fun! The pony escaped out of her box last night whilst i was skipping out and all hell broke loose in the stable next door lol he was just beserk. I will have to just hope he settles and gets used to the fact that she goes but comes back and just let my daughter ride form10 mins then the next day longer etc. He will settle eventually i think but it is very stressful and upsetting to watch! Your not alone in this it is a common problem as they are herd animals, just needs repitition and calming. Magnesium is very good!
WJT
Well-Known Member
1stclassalan
Well-Known Member
It is very possible to solve the problem of separation anxiety, along with good management .......Basically, all that means is working on the problem in very small steps, to gradually increase her confidence and help her to understand that being left alone doesn't have to be frightening. ..........then you need to start from really small baby steps.
Start with just your horse and one other (either in field or stable), and lead the other horse literally just one small step away. As long as your horse doesn't react, then lead the horse back a step again. Repeat this over and over until your horse doesn't even pay any attention. Then do the same, taking the other horse two steps and then back, then three steps and so on. The important thing to remember is not to move on too quickly - if your horse gets upset it means you have taken the other horse too far at that stage in your training, so just don't go so many steps away next time. It will take a little time, but will be well worth the time spent.
Once you have worked through those steps,.......
It is important to ask everyone to make sure that during the weeks that you are following the training problem your horse isn't left alone, as that will of course take you right back to square one again.
By following these small steps ....... Best of luck
Anna - I think I love you ( Mrs FirstClass is at the other end of the garden so I can say that!) you have the perfect recipe .... small steps and a lot of patience! I never went to my horses with a time limit!
O.P. your mare has inherited too much from her T.B. side - they're all nutters! However; if that's all her intake - you're not overfeeding are you! That would have been a midmorning snack for my girl! However I did exercise virtually everyday though she sometimes had the traditional Monday orf - ex school horse you see.
Here I agree with Wagtail too - my mare suffered from being a school horse - she had a good temperment for it especially for beginners lunge etc., but she associated going out with the occassional mad thrashes she went on with instructors out of sight of the management - it took me a year or more stop her from cantering on any piece of grass be it a verge or someone's lawn!
If you can work out a regime as Anna suggests - your mare will improve.
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WJT
Well-Known Member
Oh dear, haha! I agree, i don't like seeing her stressed and upset but i am now trying my best to get her in with her friends. Don't know a lot at all about magnesium, what does it do? Thanks!
Wagtail
Horse servant
I never thought of that as being bad
Why not? Any animal will get insecure if they just settle somewhere and then out of the blue are whisked away and have to start all over again. New place and new horses. In the wild, mares will usually stay with the same herd all their lives. They form strong bonds with others. Often, when a mare is taken away from her friends, or they leave her, she will form even tighter bonds next time around and will become terribly insecure and anxious when they are taken away from her. Horses that cope best with separation, are those that learn that their friends will come back, and it is not a forever thing. Your girl knows no such thing, as in the past, the friends have gone away, never to return. No wonder she is so anxious.
The key here is time, routine and stability.