thistledonicely
Well-Known Member
Hi - I wasn't sure whether to write all this down, but I'm not coping very well since saying goodbye to my pony and thought getting things off my chest might help me lay her to rest.
It's not something I found easy to talk about at the time and as a result I faced a number of hostile reactions at the yard which haven't helped me deal with the more difficult thoughts, but I'm hoping writing this 'confessional' might help me move on. (There were also many lovely supportive people too who I am very grateful to).
My Little Pony (MLP) had a number of mental and physical complaints that had troubled her all her life. Her stomach problems, while managed as best as possible, were never fully resolved beyond believing them to be genetic. The treatment options left were to medicate and increase the risk of colic or faecal transplant with no way of knowing how long or often it would be effective. She was also a seasonal head-shaker which I managed through a combination of nets, gels and masks but there was no disguising the fact that she was uncomfortable in bright sunlight. I tried a combination of different bridles to minimise discomfort and after consultation with the vet the condition was largely untreatable and manageable at best. So physically, MLP was in some degree of discomfort at different ends of the year: digestion in winter on hay and head in summer.
Being stabled overnight didnt particularly suit MLP as she tended to become quite boisterous, however it was a compromise to control her fibre intake and minimise her digestive problems. Last summer I turned her out with a grazing muzzle; she was pleasant to ride and seemed happier within herself. Having read that muzzles can affect chewing I had the dentist check her teeth throughout the summer - her front teeth were being worn across the front which could eventually wear right through to the root with prolonged use. I hoped for enough regrowth over the winter to counteract the effects of muzzling, but sadly it hadnt.
I enlisted the help of a behaviour specialist to address MLP's aversion to loading with a view to having her travelling happily so we could get her to hospital for faecal transplants. A fellow HHOer suggested that endurance riding might help offset some of the living-in effects so I planned to go along to some fun rides. However, despite an (eventually) successful session my attempts to follow it up were a disaster, it was as if we were back at square one again. MLP had been a difficult loader all her life and on one occasion had injured someone which resulted in a trip to hospital, so I knew I was in for an uphill struggle but I had hoped after putting in so much effort we would have got further than we did.
The ridden behaviour was really I suppose the straw that broke the camels back. She could be quite strong-willed and had always been nappy but laterally, it was getting increasingly more frequent (both in company and alone) and on the occcasion she reared and fell I had to admit to myself that we were not a partnership that was safe anymore. This was not the first time shed gone skywards to evade having done it under saddle and in-hand a number of times over the years (intermittently, but always when being asked a question, usually to walk sensibly!). For a long time I held myself responsible for our shortcomings but after continued input from instructors and other professionals, I slowly came to see that MLP was herself quite a tricky mare with strong opinions and sharp reactions to most things that troubled her regardless of her rider/handler.
I know there were avenues that we could have perhaps explored further and I did not dismiss these without careful consideration. However I arrived at the same point, having rebuilt my confidence with MLP once before (after a series of falls in quick succession), I couldnt be sure Id be able to again. Taking her health into consideration she was not a pony that was ever going to be sold and without the means or set up to keep a horse in an indefinite retirement that left me with a very difficult decision to face up to. It was a process which took many months to reach the end of.
I felt caught between a rock and a hard place with a horse that wasnt happy physically living out 24/7 but who wasnt happy mentally being stabled a portion of the time. With the management options so limited to try to address the boisterous behaviour, I couldnt knowingly exacerbate a health problem to combat another which was, ultimately, for my benefit ie. riding.
MLP was incredibly special to me and the hardest part of the whole process has been seeing that life was always compromised for her. She couldnt help her conditions and didnt ask to be ridden or fiddled about with by a human! I miss her terribly and my heart brakes that I couldnt have given her better but there is comfort in knowing she had a life of kindness.
She was 12 and absolutely adored for 6 years.
Thank you for reading.
It's not something I found easy to talk about at the time and as a result I faced a number of hostile reactions at the yard which haven't helped me deal with the more difficult thoughts, but I'm hoping writing this 'confessional' might help me move on. (There were also many lovely supportive people too who I am very grateful to).
My Little Pony (MLP) had a number of mental and physical complaints that had troubled her all her life. Her stomach problems, while managed as best as possible, were never fully resolved beyond believing them to be genetic. The treatment options left were to medicate and increase the risk of colic or faecal transplant with no way of knowing how long or often it would be effective. She was also a seasonal head-shaker which I managed through a combination of nets, gels and masks but there was no disguising the fact that she was uncomfortable in bright sunlight. I tried a combination of different bridles to minimise discomfort and after consultation with the vet the condition was largely untreatable and manageable at best. So physically, MLP was in some degree of discomfort at different ends of the year: digestion in winter on hay and head in summer.
Being stabled overnight didnt particularly suit MLP as she tended to become quite boisterous, however it was a compromise to control her fibre intake and minimise her digestive problems. Last summer I turned her out with a grazing muzzle; she was pleasant to ride and seemed happier within herself. Having read that muzzles can affect chewing I had the dentist check her teeth throughout the summer - her front teeth were being worn across the front which could eventually wear right through to the root with prolonged use. I hoped for enough regrowth over the winter to counteract the effects of muzzling, but sadly it hadnt.
I enlisted the help of a behaviour specialist to address MLP's aversion to loading with a view to having her travelling happily so we could get her to hospital for faecal transplants. A fellow HHOer suggested that endurance riding might help offset some of the living-in effects so I planned to go along to some fun rides. However, despite an (eventually) successful session my attempts to follow it up were a disaster, it was as if we were back at square one again. MLP had been a difficult loader all her life and on one occasion had injured someone which resulted in a trip to hospital, so I knew I was in for an uphill struggle but I had hoped after putting in so much effort we would have got further than we did.
The ridden behaviour was really I suppose the straw that broke the camels back. She could be quite strong-willed and had always been nappy but laterally, it was getting increasingly more frequent (both in company and alone) and on the occcasion she reared and fell I had to admit to myself that we were not a partnership that was safe anymore. This was not the first time shed gone skywards to evade having done it under saddle and in-hand a number of times over the years (intermittently, but always when being asked a question, usually to walk sensibly!). For a long time I held myself responsible for our shortcomings but after continued input from instructors and other professionals, I slowly came to see that MLP was herself quite a tricky mare with strong opinions and sharp reactions to most things that troubled her regardless of her rider/handler.
I know there were avenues that we could have perhaps explored further and I did not dismiss these without careful consideration. However I arrived at the same point, having rebuilt my confidence with MLP once before (after a series of falls in quick succession), I couldnt be sure Id be able to again. Taking her health into consideration she was not a pony that was ever going to be sold and without the means or set up to keep a horse in an indefinite retirement that left me with a very difficult decision to face up to. It was a process which took many months to reach the end of.
I felt caught between a rock and a hard place with a horse that wasnt happy physically living out 24/7 but who wasnt happy mentally being stabled a portion of the time. With the management options so limited to try to address the boisterous behaviour, I couldnt knowingly exacerbate a health problem to combat another which was, ultimately, for my benefit ie. riding.
MLP was incredibly special to me and the hardest part of the whole process has been seeing that life was always compromised for her. She couldnt help her conditions and didnt ask to be ridden or fiddled about with by a human! I miss her terribly and my heart brakes that I couldnt have given her better but there is comfort in knowing she had a life of kindness.
She was 12 and absolutely adored for 6 years.
Thank you for reading.
