im i being unreasonable exercising my horse 3/4 times a week

[EJ87]

My OH is conpletely non horsey dosnt get it all day sees looking after a horse as a chore not a passion. hes has now threw a wobbler because i have been going up to an arena (10mins hack away) and riding my horse with other horsey ppl 3 times a week and not using our lane. this does not cost me very much as im sharing my session with other ppl but last night i didnt get back till 6.30 and his dinner was not ready! im starting to get really pissed off with his complete lack of interest im my passion to point im thinking of divorcing. im i being unreasonable really?

 

[jessykai]

My OH is conpletely non horsey dosnt get it all day sees looking after a horse as a chore not a passion. hes has now threw a wobbler because i have been going up to an arena (10mins hack away) and riding my horse with other horsey ppl 3 times a week and not using our lane. this does not cost me very much as im sharing my session with other ppl but last night i didnt get back till 6.30 and his dinner was not ready! im starting to get really pissed off with his complete lack of interest im my passion to point im thinking of divorcing. im i being unreasonable really?

I'd be more upset that you got back in at 6.30 and your dinner wasn't ready

 

[*starfish*]

no your deffo not being unreasonable!! what is wrong with him making his dinner?! horses are your passion and hobbie and he should understand that. did he meet you knowing full well you had a horse?

 

[FfionWinnie]

I'd be more upset that you got back in at 6.30 and your dinner wasn't ready

Just exactly!!!

My oh is a jealous moron too. It's wearing.

 

[AmyMay]

I'd be more upset that you got back in at 6.30 and your dinner wasn't ready

Exactly.

Tell him to get a grip, a life, and an apron on.

And 6.30???? That's early in anyone's books.

And only 3/4 times a week........?

 

[janei]

He is lucky, I dont get home til around 8pm each night and yes my other half moans like hell, thinks its a complete waste of money, that the horse is dangerous and if am gonna ride then get a normal one, oh and it and I stink lol. However, he always has my dinner ready when I get in and a glass of wine for me so cant complain too much eh

 

[Tizzy]

but last night i didnt get back till 6.30 and his dinner was not ready!

And what did his last slave die of? Has he lost the use of his hands, brain and ability to use a microwave or oven?

Poor poor man.

 

[Tangled]

Tell him to get a grip, a life, and an apron on.

Like!

OP - your really not being unreasonable! He should get a hobby himself.

 

[Littlelegs]

Does your husband live in 1950? I wouldn't mind a non horsey person not getting the whole horsey lifestyle, but any adult should be able to understand that something makes you happy & is a big part of your life.

 

[Elsiecat]

And what did his last slave die of?

Those exact words went through my head when I read the appalling account of the poor starving man left to fend for himself or anguish.

 

[ralph and maverick]

My OH is not horsey either, often asks why it takes me 3hrs at weekend, which I might add includes poo picking field (4ponies and horse) riding, feeding, pop in to see parents quickly, 30mins travelling
But saying that he has offered to come up this weekend and help with the last bit of ragwort, but that's probably because he's in my bad books!!
No I don't think it's unreasonable at all!! We all need some pleasures, tell him to get a hobby too??

 

[EJ87]

no your deffo not being unreasonable!! what is wrong with him making his dinner?! horses are your passion and hobbie and he should understand that. did he meet you knowing full well you had a horse?

I didnt havve my own horse when he met me but i went to a riding school every weekend but would of went more and had my own horse before then if I had the money. Bought my horse with money that was left to me in a will.

 

[pottamus]

Whilst my OH may not take much interest in my horsey, he would never dream of moaning or trying to restrict my activities with him or time riding. He is a strong believer in having a happy and satisfied life and that if you have passions and things that make you happy in life, then get on with it! I think it is unreasonable of your OH to put that worry and pressure on you - perhaps he needs a hobby of his own???

 

[benson21]

My OH is conpletely non horsey dosnt get it all day sees looking after a horse as a chore not a passion. hes has now threw a wobbler because i have been going up to an arena (10mins hack away) and riding my horse with other horsey ppl 3 times a week and not using our lane. this does not cost me very much as im sharing my session with other ppl but last night i didnt get back till 6.30 and his dinner was not ready! im starting to get really pissed off with his complete lack of interest im my passion to point im thinking of divorcing. im i being unreasonable really?

Does he not know how to use an oven??? or even where the take away menu is if it gets desparate!!!

but, on the other side of the coin, you say you are getting pissed of with his lack of interest in your passion for horses. In the end its your passion, not his!

 

[Daytona]

I have to admit my husband come first, he works away for a month at a time offshore in Angola , total s*** hole

So when he home I don't expect him to do anything and will ensure I do his dinner etc before going to do my horse etc

But I do that because I want to and to show I appreciate how hard he works to give us a good life.
So in answer to your question although you are far from being unreasonable , I'd not make my hubby wait.

 

[nagseastsussex]

Maybe you should point out to him that riding your horse is good exercise and thus keeps you fit and healthy and I suspect quite toned (sorry if thats slightly personal no offence intended) and if you did not have this sort of hobby you might become bored and depressed and just sit around eating chocolate, crisps and biscuits all day and become a bit of a couch potato and then he would have something to moan about it!

 

[AmyMay]

Your situation is totally different Ludoctro, though.

OH's can fend for themselves..........

 

[tinap]

My OH used to be like that when me & the daughter are out all day every sunday. he has now shut up wingeing because it wasn't getting him anywhere & now 9 times out of 10 my Sunday dinner is on the table waiting when we get home now

 

[Enfys]

There is a simple solution, have his meal plated up and in the microwave for him.

 

[mcnaughty]

I've had idiots as partners like that in the past - I now have a fanatical golfer as an OH! 4+ hours on a golf course on a Saturday, Sunday and sometimes evenings in the summer too by himself vs the time I spend up stables is a pretty close call.

We are probably about as selfish as each other when it comes to our time but it works!

 

[Daytona]

Amymay - I doubt my OH could fend for himself before he met me he lived off take away, he once tried to make toast and near burnt the house down

Or maybe I just like to "think" he could not live without me. I don't think he has ever used our washing machine ;-)

Anyway nothing as queer as folk and were happy and that's what matters . He does though never complain about the time I take at horse, though he into motorbikes so often is out on his bike when I at work so seems to work well.

 

[Daytona]

I meant horse not work

 

[AmyMay]

Anyway nothing as queer as folk and were happy and that's what matters .

Absolutely

 

[Goldenstar]

My OH works away all the time returning home around two days a week tops when he's home I do try to keep time free for what he wants to do he has a horse and hunts so I will drive him about etcetc it also means that completing is difficult for me so I have learnt to enjoy horses without going to competions every week end.
But OP's postion is different he sounds like a complete idiot ( sorry OP )OP don't be bullied stand up for yourself and if he can't understand you need to what you love that's his look out.

 

[unicorndreams]

Its easy to assume the fella is in the wrong but we all have to balance our lives and we don't know the full picture here. Does the OP work and pay for own horse costs as well as half the household costs or does hubby cover costs? If he's paying majority of household costs and/or horse costs he might feel that he's getting a rough deal. When I didn't work I accepted that housework/meals were solely my responsibility - they were my 'job' out of respect for my partner supporting me financially. However I now pay my way - hubby encourages me to ride as he knows its important to me and helps me de-stress. He'll even help out on occasion and as we both work full time household duties are shared fully.

 

[Pebbles]

I'd be more upset that you got back in at 6.30 and your dinner wasn't ready

Love it!!!

I don't get in until 7.30 p.m. and then cook so we rarely eat before 8.30 or 9 and its a definite case of like it or cook it yourself. Sadly that never happens though!!!

 

[budley95]

My OH is completely unhorsey. But we came to a compromise in the end. He comes up the yard with me and we'll have some biscuits up there incase he gets hungry, whilst I ride (he doesn't like watching me, it scares him - even in competitions he'll watch everyone else and walk away when I go in) he will go and listen to an ipod in the field, poo pick if no other horses are in the field and the other day scrubbed out my water buckets, ragworted my winter field, made up Bud's dinners for the week and went and picked up some more food for pony. Deal is I HATE american football. Unfortunately he used to play for Kent before injuring his knee. So we watch American football together (sometimes at 3am because of the time difference) and if he want sto be a big kid and play video games when we have his younger brother over, I'll play with them as well and completely fail. I hate both things but it's our compromise. Could you compromise in anyway - anything he enjoys that you can't stand? Watching football together, going fishing together, maybe making sure you have a night together once a week or so? I know it's hard to make time sometimes but he might be feeling pushed out?

 

[sussex_sun]

I guess having horses isn't really a hobby - it's more a way of life.

But I bet if he was into something like golf, running or sailing he'd be out doing it whenver he felt like it and wouldn't think twice about it!!

 

[claireandnadia]

At 6.30 I'm only just getting started more or less at the yard lol

 

[Perfect_Pirouette]

Well your OH would hate me then, I ride 5/6 times a week and on week nights if I ride I don't get in until about 8.

No, you're not being unreasonable. 6.30 is still very early to be getting in, a lot of people haven't long been in from work then.

Can you not come to a compromise? Perhaps X&Y night during the week you won't ride and will cook tea....but then on the other 3 nights a week you can do what you like and he can either buy something or cook something for himself!