Introducing Toby

Today I was grooming him and he looked at me with his kind, curious, intelligent eyes and I felt a sudden surge of affection for him. I put my arms round his neck and said 'I do love you Toby' and realised it was true. He has finally broken down my defences, 1 nicker and 1 nuzzle at a time. It's taken 6 months but better late than never, eh.

Had another fab jumping lesson. There is so much to work on in terms of straightness and steering. But I can see glimpses of the horse he could be one day. Short clip if anyone is interested.


Also a clip of him 'helping' me muck out. Comedy horse!


Beautiful Toby

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I have really struggled not to compare him with Amber. Amber is uber-talented and I could hardly believe that a horse like her was mine. Mine! Toby just seemed so ordinary in comparison. And too friendly, like an over persistent suitor. It's taken me 6 months to realise that raw talent is not the only thing that makes a horse special. That Toby is just as much 1 in a million with his generosity, work ethic, kindness and total lack of drama or stress! Falls asleep when you clip him, licks the farrier, self loads, says 'yes sure' to every request. And is very beautiful.
He has won me over and I'm excited about our future.
 
Such a lovely update. I have been on a horse related emotional rollercoaster for the past few years - losing my old girl I had for 30 years, getting Cam who then broke irrecoverably at 8, getting Cassie and then losing her to Lymphoma at 13, and now I have Maddie. So many dreams created, then dashed through those years. I totally relate to where you are now. Here's to you and Toby's future together - may it be happy and full of mutual love. xx
 
Ambers Echo said:
I have really struggled not to compare him with Amber. Amber is uber-talented and I could hardly believe that a horse like her was mine. Mine! Toby just seemed so ordinary in comparison. And too friendly, like an over persistent suitor. It's taken me 6 months to realise that raw talent is not the only thing that makes a horse special. That Toby is just as much 1 in a million with his generosity, work ethic, kindness and total lack of drama or stress! Falls asleep when you clip him, licks the farrier, self loads, says 'yes sure' to every request. And is very beautiful.
He has won me over and I'm excited about our future.
Click to expand...
I liked this post but that's not really true - I love it!!
 
That's lovely. I know how you feel. Getting a new horse is so often tied up with losing another or them retiring that it's a strange time of very mixed emotions. It took me well over a year to get where you are with Toby with Archie, having lost Eb so unexpectedly just a couple of months before. I'd decided to get another before he died and I felt so guilty, like somehow he knew and was making things easier for me. I'm getting there a bit sooner with Charlie, maybe because Arch is still around but that brings its own issues as he guilt trips me terribly. Our yard and lane forms an L shape around one corner of they boys' field. Every time I take Charlie out Arch follows us the whole length and then stands there looking forlorn. He really know how to tug at the heart strings! but Charlie's such a sweetie it's hard not to fall for him. We had a lesson yesterday and he was a bit of a toad for 45 minutes then brilliant for the last 15. I wasn't annoyed with him, just really worried he wasn't happy - he's got me just where he wants me already!
 
What a roller coaster!

This thread has helped me see things in context and therefore more clearly. So I'm going to keep the diary up as I get too excited on a good day and too deflated on a bad one. I need to see the wider picture.

Shortly after feeling that we were finally really connecting, we had a jump lesson away from home. (Before Christmas). Toby was on his toes running off with me. We never even left the ground, our 'warm up' lasted the whole lesson and I felt so deflated. The next jump lesson I was with my usual RI. He jumped sideways into a jump wing. We came round again and he chucked me off. First and only time but it really shook me up. Turned out he had a sore back, probably saddle related. Obviously I stopped using the saddle so had to have a long break from jumping as it took a while to get one and then the weather was against us.

I HAVE to jump regularly or I lose my nerve again completely. So when I finally got a saddle I felt totally back to square 1, feeling nervous over x poles :rolleyes:. And I'd lost trust in him, constantly thinking was it really his back?

Then we got a personal worst in E Riders dressage in January!

And in that frame of mind I just wanted to give it all up and have a foal off Amber instead.

But since getting the new saddle he has not put a foot wrong. His flatwork is much more consistent. Our more recent test was much better. Best of all, I've managed to jump again and he's been great.

I have also become aware that he's much more sensitive than I realised. He goes to pieces if you tell him off. I made the mistake of getting someone to school him who was waaaay too hard on him and he was upset for weeks after that. But he is happy and relaxed again now. I keep sending my horses to other people and regretting it!

He is a very sweet, very special, very capable horse with the most incredible work ethic and such a desire to please. And I need to stop stressing about every set back or questioning whether set backs means he's not right for me. I had plenty of ups and downs with Amber too! That's just horses.

Have a pic of the lovely boy:

IMG_20210205_162809_602.jpg
 
Ambers Echo said:
What a roller coaster!

This thread has helped me see things in context and therefore more clearly. So I'm going to keep the diary up as I get too excited on a good day and too deflated on a bad one. I need to see the wider picture.

Shortly after feeling that we were finally really connecting, we had a jump lesson away from home. (Before Christmas). Toby was on his toes running off with me. We never even left the ground, our 'warm up' lasted the whole lesson and I felt so deflated. The next jump lesson I was with my usual RI. He jumped sideways into a jump wing. We came round again and he chucked me off. First and only time but it really shook me up. Turned out he had a sore back, probably saddle related. Obviously I stopped using the saddle so had to have a long break from jumping as it took a while to get one and then the weather was against us.

I HAVE to jump regularly or I lose my nerve again completely. So when I finally got a saddle I felt totally back to square 1, feeling nervous over x poles :rolleyes:. And I'd lost trust in him, constantly thinking was it really his back?

Then we got a personal worst in E Riders dressage in January!

And in that frame of mind I just wanted to give it all up and have a foal off Amber instead.

But since getting the new saddle he has not put a foot wrong. His flatwork is much more consistent. Our more recent test was much better. Best of all, I've managed to jump again and he's been great.

I have also become aware that he's much more sensitive than I realised. He goes to pieces if you tell him off. I made the mistake of getting someone to school him who was waaaay too hard on him and he was upset for weeks after that. But he is happy and relaxed again now. I keep sending my horses to other people and regretting it!

He is a very sweet, very special, very capable horse with the most incredible work ethic and such a desire to please. And I need to stop stressing about every set back or questioning whether set backs means he's not right for me. I had plenty of ups and downs with Amber too! That's just horses.

Have a pic of the lovely boy:

View attachment 64897
Click to expand...
He is beautiful :)
 
Ambers Echo said:
What a roller coaster!

This thread has helped me see things in context and therefore more clearly. So I'm going to keep the diary up as I get too excited on a good day and too deflated on a bad one. I need to see the wider picture.

Shortly after feeling that we were finally really connecting, we had a jump lesson away from home. (Before Christmas). Toby was on his toes running off with me. We never even left the ground, our 'warm up' lasted the whole lesson and I felt so deflated. The next jump lesson I was with my usual RI. He jumped sideways into a jump wing. We came round again and he chucked me off. First and only time but it really shook me up. Turned out he had a sore back, probably saddle related. Obviously I stopped using the saddle so had to have a long break from jumping as it took a while to get one and then the weather was against us.

I HAVE to jump regularly or I lose my nerve again completely. So when I finally got a saddle I felt totally back to square 1, feeling nervous over x poles :rolleyes:. And I'd lost trust in him, constantly thinking was it really his back?

Then we got a personal worst in E Riders dressage in January!

And in that frame of mind I just wanted to give it all up and have a foal off Amber instead.

But since getting the new saddle he has not put a foot wrong. His flatwork is much more consistent. Our more recent test was much better. Best of all, I've managed to jump again and he's been great.

I have also become aware that he's much more sensitive than I realised. He goes to pieces if you tell him off. I made the mistake of getting someone to school him who was waaaay too hard on him and he was upset for weeks after that. But he is happy and relaxed again now. I keep sending my horses to other people and regretting it!

He is a very sweet, very special, very capable horse with the most incredible work ethic and such a desire to please. And I need to stop stressing about every set back or questioning whether set backs means he's not right for me. I had plenty of ups and downs with Amber too! That's just horses.

Have a pic of the lovely boy:

View attachment 64897
Click to expand...


I hear the start of a wonderful relationship.....



Fwiw, I think you look more of a"picture" on Toby than you did on Amber, he really suits your size and shape.
.
 
I have a real soft spot for Toby.
I think it can be so hard not to compare horses, particularly when one has been your special horse. It took me so long to stop wishing Millie was the Diva. Millie would do something stupid out hacking and all I’d think was ‘Diva wouldn’t have done that’. Or the wind would be blowing a gale and I wanted to ride but knew I couldn’t safely take Millie out and all I’d feel is this pang of frustration because I knew I could have ridden Diva in a tornado (hypothetically speaking, of course). I was comparing them all the time and it wasn’t fair on Millie. She isn’t Diva and she never will be, but I honestly don’t think any horse in the world will ever fill that gap for me and I need to make peace with that.

I’m looking forward to seeing what you and Toby get up to this year.
 
ETA I sorted out the thinness and the switched offness. But she stayed grumpy with most people. I sometimes think I loved her more because she was grumpy with everyone EXCEPT me. She liked me. But Toby is totally indisriminate in his affections. He wants to cuddle everyone. WHich is nice, really but I quite liked the exclusivity of being one of the few people Amber accepted! But it is lovely to have a horse who you know anyone can ride and fuss and cuddle.
 
Hes a good boy, I think the more he does the better he will get. He just seems very happy to go along with what life throws at him which is such an underestimated and valuable thing in a horse. I like him a lot, he's clearly quite capable and I think he'll really blossom with a job to do (when any of us are able to get out and do anything that is)
 
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