I've had my confidence seriously knocked :-(

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Echo Jo Cooper.
I obviously dont take dressage serious enough, I have no idea who judges me at venues to even start getting a wibble before I go in.

Dont get me wrong, I get cross with myself if I dont ride well or I feel my horse didnt put enough effort in, but it makes me more determined to do well and train harder
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Eventing however, was a whole different ball game. I was terrified of letting everyone down, my horse, my parents and myself.
The pressure was so great, i would end up being 1-3rd after the dressage phase, either retire or have a stop in the sjing and then storm round the xc feeling deflated cos i had let everyone down.

I had help with Jo, stopped competing for a year and just trained until I was happy. My first event back eventing and we jumped DC and finished 3rd on my dressage score!

Jo seriously helped my fight my confidence issues.

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That happened yesterday... I was so annoyed with the fact I had gone wrong in the second test I then spent the rest of the test going over it, then went wrong again. I think I need to find a way to shut out the nerves and concentrate more. When I get nervous I lose my concentration and find it very hard to get it back.

Would you mind telling me a little more about Jo Cooper? Do you have to go to her or is it done via the telephone / email?
 
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I do not have anyone to come with me to read, so will make sure I phone ahead in future!

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I'm the same, I always compete on my own. I'm the same as BBs as well in that I never get wobbly before we go in. Sadly this backfires when my supreme cool, and big grin, get wiped off my face once i've turned down the centre line and seen who it is judging!! (I've never yet known who the judge is before I turn up on the day). Usually the grin gets replaced for a smirk and a inner lol as by then I can guarantee a 58% whatever the test looks like!
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Carry on as best as I can and enjoy the good bits.
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You see, that is what I am like with Han... There is one particular judge who never gives her over 59% no matter how well she goes and I know her hair the moment I step on that centre line
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But I never once get nervous or stressed about it, we just do the test and come out smiling!

How is Mr Darcy doing anyway? I don't remember reading any updates recently
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what about chris bartle at the YRC? wouldn't they have some suitable schoolmaster types?
i think its hard when you don't have confidence in your own ability- i can certainly sympathise with this- but you really need to relax a little as this much self criticism is just not healthy
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you will end up making yourself ill if you keep getting worked up like this....if i were you i would just avoid said judge in future if its gets you this worked up...
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good luck next weekend, just try to think positively (you could visualise yourself riding the test of your life and winning on an amazing score each night this week in preparation rather than sitting there panicking about everything going wrong)
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Thanks Diggerbez, I have already been reading my tests for the weekend so they are engraved in my mind by Saturday morning!

That is one of the places I phoned for an idea of cost when I was looking into it for my birthday... I am hoping to go somewhere for around a week towards the end of the year when I have saved up some money. My parents have said they will match me for my Christmas present, so set up a savings account and am putting a little bit in each week
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Becki, if you want me to come to church farm or warren farm to read for you, I certainly will. I will be doing some unaff Novice tests at both places this summer (might aff if do any good). I tend not to do Prelim at all with clever horses as they go 'off the boil' at bit with the simple tests.
I am ver very laid back (I don't do nerves) so I can offer a positive relaxed atomosphere.
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BTW I might you to read for me!
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And will you pretend to be my trainer so I look the part!
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What a very kind offer, thank you so much.

If you let me know the ones you are planning on doing, I will bring Grace along to do the Novice if you wouldn't mind reading for me
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Oh, and you did make me giggle... I will bring my team FA2 coat and have 'TRAINER' written in big letters
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Thanks for the good wishes.

P had her surgery on the 27th April (Tuesday) and was back under saddle on the Sunday! Unreal to think that's all the time she needed off.

I owe Spottedcat a clear round (I promised to do one two years ago) and my instructor wants me to give some low level dressage a go as a goal to work towards.

I just see pictures of horses like yours though, assume they're working at Medium/Advanced levels given some of the posts about your trainers etc etc and then feel a little stunned to realise that you're actually competing at Prelim and would be "competition" in classes I would enter on my stuffy strided cob blob. She's no superstar, never will be, and I'm not even a half decent rider.

I would feel completely inferior in the warm up next to a horse and rider combination such as yourself. I am not "into" riding that seriously at all. It's a fun hobby for me. I enjoy my schooling (although we're not overly great at it), love the farm rides, jumping and hacking.

Makes me wonder if I should just stick to being a happy hacker. No stress involved!
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Thanks for the good wishes.

P had her surgery on the 27th April (Tuesday) and was back under saddle on the Sunday! Unreal to think that's all the time she needed off.

I owe Spottedcat a clear round (I promised to do one two years ago) and my instructor wants me to give some low level dressage a go as a goal to work towards.

I just see pictures of horses like yours though, assume they're working at Medium/Advanced levels given some of the posts about your trainers etc etc and then feel a little stunned to realise that you're actually competing at Prelim and would be "competition" in classes I would enter on my stuffy strided cob blob. She's no superstar, never will be, and I'm not even a half decent rider.

I would feel completely inferior in the warm up next to a horse and rider combination such as yourself. I am not "into" riding that seriously at all. It's a fun hobby for me. I enjoy my schooling (although we're not overly great at it), love the farm rides, jumping and hacking.

Makes me wonder if I should just stick to being a happy hacker. No stress involved!
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I feel exactly the same when I am warming up as there are some very beautiful moving horses out competing in the same classes and I can end up feeling quite inferior. Especially when I warming up with some of the pros, I become a bit in awe and forget how to ride!

I probably shouldn't waste my money on going to lessons with Spencer, I guess really he should be teaching the higher levels and he probably gets quite frustated teaching me when I am just starting some walk to canters (the most exciting thing we have done to date), but I feel as though I have got an awful lot from him and would like to think that some of the things I have learned will stick with me!

But I have lessons off Jo Wright-Graham on a regular basis and she has truly made Hannah the horse she now is
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Before I went to Jo I was told by a trainer to forget ever taking her to a BD competition because she was never going to be any good at it
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That really upset me, but Jo has been so positive with both Han and Grace that I cannot thank her enough
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Sorry, a bit rambly there...

Don't you dare feel you should not be going. I take Han (my little carthorse) to british dressage competitions, and she does occasionally kick ass against all the flashy warmbloods because she is correct and tries really hard
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I love it when she does well because I know how hard we have worked for this. She is most definitely not a natural at it, she finds sitting back on her hind leg quite difficult because of how she is built and her medium work is never going to be a strong point because of how her shoulder is set on. However, we have fun and as I say, ocasionally we do well.

I am sure Patches will be a dressage diva when you get out there... I can see it in her eyes
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She wants some bling
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That is amazing that she was back under saddle so soon... How fantastic! Will that be the problem sorted now?
 
I hope so.

She had two sinus cysts removed and from the caudal something sinus (behind the frontal one). The xrays a couple of days later were clear. Staples are now out and we can get on and ride as normal from here on in.

She's being re-xrayed in another four weeks or so as a final check. Still has a bit of nasal discharge, but apparently that's normal at this stage.

Keep those fingers crossed!

I can't believe that YOU feel inferior in a warm up next to other horses in your class.....eeeeeek....makes me feel even more out of my league! Seriously!

I might start at local RC level or find a very lowly local show to start with, in the vain hope that none of the really fabby horses turn up.

I could take Hannah with me on Oliver......she'd probably beat me too! LMAO
 
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How is Mr Darcy doing anyway? I don't remember reading any updates recently
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Thanks for asking, he is very well indeed! Just entered him for his first dressage since we stopped last December so am really excited to get him back out again!
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Just put some pics of today's lesson on facebook
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Fingers tightly crossed...

Just wait and see, I will be saying 'I told you so' when you post about Patches the Dressage Diva
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Many of the classes I compete in are won by the cob type horses! They just do everything so well, work correctly and look stunning in the dressage ring!

I went to an unaffil competition with a friend who was judging a couple of weeks ago. There were some really nice WB types, but then this coloured cob entered the arena and we were absolutely transfixed with him. His test was stunning, his action to die for, and he just won the class by a clear mile! I still remember him even now
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How is Mr Darcy doing anyway? I don't remember reading any updates recently
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Thanks for asking, he is very well indeed! Just entered him for his first dressage since we stopped last December so am really excited to get him back out again!
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Just put some pics of today's lesson on facebook
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Oooo... I'll go and have a look now.

I was looking at your Taz album (what are we on now, no. 4
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) the other day. He is going to be absolutely fabulous when he matures! I bet you can't wait to start working him more
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Ha ha, yes we are on album four! He was competing 2 weeks ago and he was a little superstar. Judge was very complimentary about his movement and suggested he'll be a great competition horse, so that was lovely. His paces when he's trotting or cantering across the field for his tea are beautiful, loose and floaty- just needs to grow a bit more! Really looking forward to starting him off next year if he's ready
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Should really message you on FB to carry conversation on...
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LOL....I can guarantee you no-one would be transfixed by me and P's abilities in the dressage arena!
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We don't do outlines! She believes in the phrase "less is more" so doesn't like to exert too much energy, especially where fences aren't part of the effort!

See how good you have it? You would have every right to feel crap if you came out having been me on Miss P...infact I will die of shock if I get above 50%! Aint that something to be proud of?
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Lord, what's all this doing in Competition Riders?! We all have bad days out competing and we all feel sh*t afterwards. I personally ride so badly on these occasions that I'm too embarassed to post to be honest! But you do post and all credit to you for being honest and open on a great big faceless forum. I don't have much to offer beyond what other people have said. It's useless to say 'don't over-analyse things' or 'get perspective' because that's just the way you are! You just have to learn to work with what you've got. For example, I'm not the bravest rider and that's not likely to change (am too old!) so I just have to keep pushing a little out of the old comfort zone and remind myself that I'm still alive, still enjoying the nag and that what held me back 6 months ago isn't still holding me back now.

Horsey people are often blunt but they mean well, whether they say 'get a grip' or 'get a sports pysch on the case'. Either which way, they wish you well with Grace and they wish to see more positive comp reports!
 
Horse riding has got to be one of the most frustrating sports going, especially if you are competing. There are so many factors involved in getting it right on the day. But it's the bad days that make good days good. If it went right every single time, then it would soon get boring. How many times do we say 'thats horses', including the professionals when things don't go quite to plan. And when 'that's horses ' is said, it's not meant in a way of blaming the horse, but more that one day things are going perfect and the next it all goes tits up.

I view competing as a measurement of where I am with my own and my horses training. It motivates me to get on my horse after a long day at work, especially in the winter, because I want the comments on the bottom of my score sheet that my 'horse needs to be much more balanced' to disappear and be replaced by the next thing that I need to work on, and for my sj round to be more fluid, etc. If I get placed then it's a bonus, but to know that my horse is improving is more of a thrill because I know how much hard work and effort I had put in to achieve it. If we crash through a sj fence (and sometimes we really do demolition derby through them) but he cantered all the way round in a 3 time canter rather than a 4 time then I don't care less about the faults.

It also important not to compare yourself with how others are doing. There will always be someone out there far better than you (apart from if you're say Carl Hester) and equally others who envy you for going out and competing, as the thought alone terrifies them too much to even try.

Not just with horses, we all have have knocks in life, it's how you deal with them. You're allowed to feel sorry for yourself for a small amount of time but then you pick yourself up, dust yourself down and focus on what went well, where there have been improvements, and what to do to improve on the weaknesses. That's how we learn ... by making mistakes. Although I never seem to when it comes to men!
 
Oh hun - you obviously got yourself worked up about the judge but why are are you beating yourself up? 65% and 0.8% of the winner is a very good score by anyone's standards (especially if you say the judge doesn't like you).

You wouldn't have been pcked for Inter Regions if you and your horse were going really well and the trainers obviously thought you were both more and capable - and they are the ones we pay to listen to
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Haven't read all the replies but I do agree about going to see someone about your nerves - you are a very good rider but you clearly lack self confidence and belief. I can't help with agree with some of the slightly "stronger" posts about getting some perspective because really - riding like a numpty and still coming 2nd/3rd, wow ift must be hard
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But I do appreciate when you don't believe in yourself you don't hear it when people try to pick you up.
 
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Lord, what's all this doing in Competition Riders?! We all have bad days out competing and we all feel sh*t afterwards. I personally ride so badly on these occasions that I'm too embarassed to post to be honest! But you do post and all credit to you for being honest and open on a great big faceless forum. I don't have much to offer beyond what other people have said. It's useless to say 'don't over-analyse things' or 'get perspective' because that's just the way you are! You just have to learn to work with what you've got. For example, I'm not the bravest rider and that's not likely to change (am too old!) so I just have to keep pushing a little out of the old comfort zone and remind myself that I'm still alive, still enjoying the nag and that what held me back 6 months ago isn't still holding me back now.

Horsey people are often blunt but they mean well, whether they say 'get a grip' or 'get a sports pysch on the case'. Either which way, they wish you well with Grace and they wish to see more positive comp reports!

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I am so pleased you have posted this. There have been many times I have been too embarrassed by my riding to post a competition report. If you read back, you will see that I only really post a report when I feel we have done well (regardless of the mark...), other than this one!

I am not great at sharing how I feel, it was such a big thing for me to post this thread but I did it because I made a decision yesterday morning that enough was enough and this had to be sorted out! I don't really have 'horsey' friends, so I thought I would come on here for the advice that probably most people ask their friends and family for.

I know I over analyse things, I do it with every part of my life, so I know that is not going to be something I can tackle. However, what I now need to look it is how to analyse my riding but be more positive about how to resolve it. I know my position is pants, but I am trying really hard to correct it. I have bought a Swiss ball to help me build up my core muscle so I don't collapse through my hips, I ride without my stirrups at least twice a week to get me loosening the way I sit and I am constantly trying to keep my lower leg back (the biggest problem really). So I am trying to change the way I ride which I am hoping, in time, will improve my confidence out competing once I know I am riding to the best of my ability.

I am off to Tesco to get some of those sports drinks as recommended by a few people on here as I just can't eat before a competition. I am also going to get some of the Nutrigrain bars as I can always nibble on those in between as there is not much to eat but a lot in them
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I have been thinking about this most of last night, and I think some of my confidence issues are through lack of experience. I have not been doing dressage that long, and reading through my posts I do get worried about the type of people I will be competing against or warming up with. For example, I posted about trying a medium with Han but what put me off was going in the Open sections for Novice. Someone quite rightly said this was a bit unfair because that is what the sections are for, but I replied saying I didn't feel confident enough to move into the open section.

So there is definitely some issues with experience there for me.
 
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Horse riding has got to be one of the most frustrating sports going, especially if you are competing. There are so many factors involved in getting it right on the day. But it's the bad days that make good days good. If it went right every single time, then it would soon get boring. How many times do we say 'thats horses', including the professionals when things don't go quite to plan. And when 'that's horses ' is said, it's not meant in a way of blaming the horse, but more that one day things are going perfect and the next it all goes tits up.

I view competing as a measurement of where I am with my own and my horses training. It motivates me to get on my horse after a long day at work, especially in the winter, because I want the comments on the bottom of my score sheet that my 'horse needs to be much more balanced' to disappear and be replaced by the next thing that I need to work on, and for my sj round to be more fluid, etc. If I get placed then it's a bonus, but to know that my horse is improving is more of a thrill because I know how much hard work and effort I had put in to achieve it. If we crash through a sj fence (and sometimes we really do demolition derby through them) but he cantered all the way round in a 3 time canter rather than a 4 time then I don't care less about the faults.

It also important not to compare yourself with how others are doing. There will always be someone out there far better than you (apart from if you're say Carl Hester) and equally others who envy you for going out and competing, as the thought alone terrifies them too much to even try.

Not just with horses, we all have have knocks in life, it's how you deal with them. You're allowed to feel sorry for yourself for a small amount of time but then you pick yourself up, dust yourself down and focus on what went well, where there have been improvements, and what to do to improve on the weaknesses. That's how we learn ... by making mistakes. Although I never seem to when it comes to men!

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I completely agree with you... It is such a great feeling when it all comes together in a competition and you feel your hard work has started to show some reults. And by this, I do not mean results as in the marks improve, I mean them in the sense that you 'feel' that improvement. Yes, I like getting the higher marks, but I would rather get a low mark and come out feeling that me and my horse have worked the best we could have done rather than come out with a high mark and feel as though it just didn't quite click!

That is why I was so frustrated and upset with myself on Saturday... I just did not feel as though I had done a thing because I let my nerves take the driving seat!

I don't know whether I should admit to this or not, but hey, here goes... I burst into tears talking to my husband on the phone because I was that mad with myself and disappointed in myself! He was just lovely though and calmed me down, told me to have a look at the sheet and see where we could improve things and he actually advised I did not do the next test in case I had my confidence rattled for this coming weekend... Hmmm, should have listened to him!

I think you have a lovely way at looking at things, and that is what I am aiming to do. I do want to be more confident and not feel squiffy all of the time when I am competing Grace, so I have to change!
 
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Oh hun - you obviously got yourself worked up about the judge but why are are you beating yourself up? 65% and 0.8% of the winner is a very good score by anyone's standards (especially if you say the judge doesn't like you).

You wouldn't have been pcked for Inter Regions if you and your horse were going really well and the trainers obviously thought you were both more and capable - and they are the ones we pay to listen to
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Haven't read all the replies but I do agree about going to see someone about your nerves - you are a very good rider but you clearly lack self confidence and belief. I can't help with agree with some of the slightly "stronger" posts about getting some perspective because really - riding like a numpty and still coming 2nd/3rd, wow ift must be hard
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But I do appreciate when you don't believe in yourself you don't hear it when people try to pick you up.

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You have pretty much said what my husband has said to me... if the trainer and judge did not think we were capable, they would not have picked me. But I just have some wobbly feelings about going now, whereas before this weekend I was just really looking forwards to it (which surprised me, I must admit!) I actually was on the maybe pile for a little bit because of two bad results we had at a particular venue.

If I am 100% honest, even if I had come 1st in that test on Saturday I would still have been wobbled because of how I let my nerves take over the whole thing. The positioning is really not important, I know how much she has come on since December and at the moment that is the most important thing to me, but I also thought my nerves were starting to be under control so Saturday surprised me at how debilitating they actually were. I am not joking when I say I literally sat there, directed her where to go, and that was about it. I forgot what my legs were for, my position was shocking (quite rightly I got a lower mark than I have been doing) and I felt like someone who had never ridden a test before in their lives... how crazy is that! I am still annoyed at myself even now, but following so many posts of advice, rather than dwelling on how cross I am with myself, I am trying to now find ways of counteracting that feeling and progressing.

I know it is my nerves which hold me back with Grace... my trainer recognises it too. So this is now something which is prohibiting progress. If there was something like a bad canter transition doing that, I would sit down and solve the problem so we could sort it, therefore I am now trying to see this as something similar!
 
I have read most of this thread and have to say I agree with what other have said. You need a kick up the backside!!!
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Its all about mental attitude and you really need to address yours, and I mean that in the nicest possible way.

A lot of people would say my attittude is bad as I couldn't give a toss where I come in the placing as I go to improve my own marks not to compete against others and Im certainly not into qualifiers etc.

Take the pressure off yourself a little its only dressage!
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Its not supposed to stressful and so what if you have a "bad" test, forget about it.
 
Well despite the show "destroying your confidence" at least one good thing has come from it - you are realising how much your nerves are limiting you and you are determined to do something about it. Its good to see in your post that you are still pleased with her and you know how much she is improving - now its time for the rider to work on herself and catch up with her super pony
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Blimey, since when has there been a limit imposed on the number of less than positive posts people are allowed to write about their experiences?! Someone really ought to let some of the soapbox lot know, I'm sure several have exceeded their quota!
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Just because people might not understand where you are coming from doesn't make your confidence issues any less valid Becki, I really hope that some of the suggestions made make a real difference to you.

If you ever need a test reader at Richmond EC then just let me know, I'd be happy to help and it would be lovely to catch up again
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I used to be exactly the same. In truth, you go to compete because you want to WIN.
I have a horse now who is prob the best horse I will ever own as he is super talented with amazing paces BUT he is quirky at the moment and is spooky and green in the arena. To start with I went out with the same attitude, if I don't win its not worth doing and it usually went wrong or I came home disapointed. So now I have changed my mind set and go out and enjoy the fact I have a nice horse who one day, if I stay calm, will win and I enjoy competing so much more.
He went from gaining about 47% (yep- rubbish eh!) to 72% plus in the space of a month at prelim. Now we have moved up to novice I am having to accept the low marks again until we are both more fluid at the level and it will come but not if Iget stressed about it. I don't judge our performance on our % any more, just how I feel he went as at the moment, thats more important to me.
Also, I don't let myself get hung up about the horses in the warm up as it doesn't mean that just because they look fab in the warm up they are going to do a fab test, like us, they are still sat on a living creature that can go just as wrong as ours. Don't forget that the judge is judging the critera set by BD when judging your test, not against the previous horse.
 
_JetSet_, I've read most of this post, but not all. So I apologise if what I'm going to say has already been said.

To be perfectly honest, I don't think this has got anything to do with your outing the other day (well not in the overall picture anyway).
You said you were going out to have a run through before the Inter Regional competition next weekend. I actually think the reason you feel so bad is because you are worried that if you ride the same way then you will let the team down. YOU don't think YOU rode well enough and didn't get the best you could have done. So what, there's always another day. But I think this has affected you more because you are looking ahead.
You're worried now the same 'stage fright' will hit you next wknd. But maybe now it won't! Maybe you experiencing it will actually make you ride more positively next wknd.

Whatever happens, you were competitive even on a bad day, so take a chill pill girl!

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I have read most of this thread and have to say I agree with what other have said. You need a kick up the backside!!!
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Its all about mental attitude and you really need to address yours, and I mean that in the nicest possible way.

A lot of people would say my attittude is bad as I couldn't give a toss where I come in the placing as I go to improve my own marks not to compete against others and Im certainly not into qualifiers etc.

Take the pressure off yourself a little its only dressage!
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Its not supposed to stressful and so what if you have a "bad" test, forget about it.

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I do agree that I need a kick up the backside, and I did try giving myself one on Saturday but the proceeded to go wrong twice in the second test
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However, as I say, I definitely rode her in that one and didn't just sit there like one of those dummies people back their horses with
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I think your attitude is good to be honest... you are concerned with how your horse is going but only so far as her progress rather than the results or placings. I would much rather someone with that attitude riding my horse than someone who just wants to win everything
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Well despite the show "destroying your confidence" at least one good thing has come from it - you are realising how much your nerves are limiting you and you are determined to do something about it. Its good to see in your post that you are still pleased with her and you know how much she is improving - now its time for the rider to work on herself and catch up with her super pony
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That is what I am trying to take from Saturday... it has made me realise that this confidence is not only holding back our progress, but also spoiling what I love doing (if that is not too much of a contradiction).

Grace was such a good girl on Saturday, she really was... I would have been lost if I had done that on Han because she would most definitely not help me out. She would have stopped, put her head down and scratched her nose on her leg
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She is improving, when I look back to December when she was constantly trying to buck and spin whenever I put my leg on her, she is barely recognisable now. I do try to keep that in mind when I am out competing, but I find it quite hard with everything else that is going on in my head... And on Saturday when I let the nerves just take over I couldn't even think how to do rising trot never mind keep anything else in there
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Blimey, since when has there been a limit imposed on the number of less than positive posts people are allowed to write about their experiences?! Someone really ought to let some of the soapbox lot know, I'm sure several have exceeded their quota!
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Just because people might not understand where you are coming from doesn't make your confidence issues any less valid Becki, I really hope that some of the suggestions made make a real difference to you.

If you ever need a test reader at Richmond EC then just let me know, I'd be happy to help and it would be lovely to catch up again
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I guess it is because all my posts always have a 'but' in them
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Thank you so much for your offer, and I will most definitely take you up on that one as it would be lovely to catch up again! The last time I saw you, you had not had your gorgeous little boy!

Some of the suggestions have really helped me get my head around things, although I won't really know whether any of them will work until I do the next competition. However, perhaps I needed to be made aware of it in order for me to work through it!
 
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I used to be exactly the same. In truth, you go to compete because you want to WIN.
I have a horse now who is prob the best horse I will ever own as he is super talented with amazing paces BUT he is quirky at the moment and is spooky and green in the arena. To start with I went out with the same attitude, if I don't win its not worth doing and it usually went wrong or I came home disapointed. So now I have changed my mind set and go out and enjoy the fact I have a nice horse who one day, if I stay calm, will win and I enjoy competing so much more.
He went from gaining about 47% (yep- rubbish eh!) to 72% plus in the space of a month at prelim. Now we have moved up to novice I am having to accept the low marks again until we are both more fluid at the level and it will come but not if Iget stressed about it. I don't judge our performance on our % any more, just how I feel he went as at the moment, thats more important to me.
Also, I don't let myself get hung up about the horses in the warm up as it doesn't mean that just because they look fab in the warm up they are going to do a fab test, like us, they are still sat on a living creature that can go just as wrong as ours. Don't forget that the judge is judging the critera set by BD when judging your test, not against the previous horse.

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Thank you... I do think I get hung up on the horses warming up. Last weekend out at Fry's, I actually said to my Dad that I was way out of my league at this venue (I think I may even have written this in my write up on here), but I came a very decent second in both tests so I was just so thrilled with her for making me proud!
 
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