Letter to parents- potential pony

Don't cry about it - if you are going to be a decent rider then it will shine through even with a rather average pony.

Rejig your costs for a pony that will get you out and about starting PC and getting onto teams, check out your local RC juniors as well - more access to decent well priced training and teams. I know that it's always said that PC teams riders have expensive horses but that is not always the case, certainly not in our PC.

Once you are out and about people will get to know you and you may well find yourself offered rides on animals that can take you further.

At the moment you're trying to finance driving an F1 car when you need to go out and get a small car to learn to drive in. Get a pony, get yourself out and about, get on PC / RC teams, do BE80 and 90 and then see where you are going to.

edited to add: What about something like this, it's fairly local to you, it seems to have been about and done quite a bit and is the sort of age where if you sell it in the next couple of years and safe sane and sensible but able to go out and do you're unlikely to lose money on it. http://www.horsemart.co.uk/all-rounder-horse-13-yrs-3-mths-14-0-hh-brown-linc/Horses/302031
 
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I'm still not sure about your riding ability as things stand, I'm not sure you know either to be honest, which makes me think you are quite novicey.

Buying a 6 grand pony is all very well but realistically you will most likely find yourself totally over horsed.

I mentioned already I never had a horse as a kid. I rode from very young, had vey few lessons and didn't ride RC type ponies so although I was self taught in the main, I was effective and could ride difficult types. When I was about 15, my friend who had ridden for a few years on RC type ponies was bought a pony by her parents. It ended in disaster, the pony was fine, but far far too much horse for her. She would have been fine for me.

I think you are setting yourself up for failure the way you are doing it. Find a share locally on something suitable for your current riding ability. Approach your parents about that first. If this goes well, then you increase your aims. You still don't need a 6 grand pony and two half pads/aqua saddle cloths/white saddle cloths tho, honestly :)
 
How about taking your letter and this thread and go speak to your parents. Explain how keen you are and that you've been nervous about talking to them in case it's an outright no and ask them what the possibilities are. At the moment you have no idea what they think or what they would be willing to do. If you talk to them you may discover what is feasible and then you can formulate a plan which is achievable.

I think if you show them your letter and this thread they will see how much thought you have given this and I can't imagine they wouldn't have a conversation with you about what is possible. You've put it off for months wondering what they will say, ask them then you know what to do next.
 
I have followed this thread with interest. A lot of people have already replied with advice and stories of their own and I'd like to follow suit and tell you a bit about me because I was in a similar position when I was your age.

When I was 13, I had a really crappy time going from one school to the other which resulted in a period of upset. I only lived with my mum (and siblings but it was a single parent family) and my room was wall to wall horses. I begged to have riding lessons but the answer was always the same: no money.*

One Saturday, I think because she was so fed up of me wallowing, Mum took me to a school about 40 minutes by 2 buses away from our home. I had a lesson in exchange for an afternoon trial to see if I could help out at weekends. On that first day I met my friend Meg.*

The trial went well and I got the bus every Saturday and Sunday in exchange for a ride.

After a couple of weeks, the owner offered me a paid position because one of the girls was leaving. It meant I had to be there by 7am every Saturday though. Originally, I couldn't take the job but one of the ladies that worked there (who also taught at my school) lived nearby, saw how happy I was and offered me a lift.

I'm 25 now and I ride once a fortnight at a school near me because that's all I can afford. Up until November last year i had never competed!

I'm still friends with Meg and I left the riding school at 16 to have a little pony on loan from *the lady who gave me lifts in the beginning. However, I outgrew her and had to work towards school exams.*

I've always wanted my own horse but it's not something you can force. You either have to work very hard (as I am doing at this stage in my life, independently) or you have to chill and wait for opportunities to come to you. I still won't own my own horse until I'm fully ready; I will own a lorry and have the correct licence before ownership so I can enjoy it to the full-I'm not someone that does anything halfheartedly.

Don't give up, don't feel downhearted, don't cry over milk that's not yet spilt. Be proactive, work hard at school, help out a riding school, do whatever it takes. One day, even if it's in 20 years time, you will have what you want and you will do whatever you want to do and do it well. Yes life is too shirt sometimes but don't forget as well, you're young, you have time. The present is not the be all an end all; don't forget about the future!
 
Fab post, Kat_Bath

Sez, don't cry :) Apart from money, the one thing you MUST have to make it to the top is the ability to find solutions and overcome setbacks. Talk to your parents, and if they agree to buy you a pony, make the most of it. If they don't, or won't yet, find somewhere to help out. Horses and riding have so much more to offer than just competing in one particular discipline at one particular level. Make the most of EVERY opportunity, and before you know it you'll be achieving and enjoying more than you ever realised you would :)
 
to be honest, I think the people telling you it's unfair to expect your parents to bankroll this are the ones who are being unfair. Parents bankroll their kids all the time, to the tune of this and more, be it for private school, ponies, golf, sailiing, any sports etc. OP-give them the letter. Let them tell you what they think, if it's a no, well you'll have to wait until you're older and can work and pay for it. If it's a yes but, well then you work with the buts. But until you give them the letter you don't know.
 
Sez, I'm sorry but I didn't have the time to read all of the posts but i read quite a lot. i think you are a very gutsy ambitious young woman but unfortunately sheer determination to succeed can mean that you are so focused on where you want to be, you don't enjoy the journey. My daughter did PTs for 2 years, she also competed aged 13 at the PC senior eventing Champs. It was a wonderful experience but came along by chance. 14.2 ponies that can compete at that level are rare. We bought a 5 year old when my daughter was 11 for less than £4K (some years ago), she'd ridden from 6 and had brought on another 5 year old when she was 7 and was quite an experienced and brave rider for her age. However, this very talented youngster was quite tricky, we spent lots of money on lessons (much more than you have budgeted) and thankfully he eventually came good and was her pony of a lifetime but i dedicated hours and hours of my time taking her to lessons, hacking out with her because he was nappy etc etc. jMost talented ponies are not easy but she started to do really well, got picked by her PC for area horse trials, got throughto the Champs and got noticed. WE never set out to do this, it just happended. She did the trials, did well in the early events but never really performed at the final trials. It was a fab experience but the kids who went on the teams came from really horsey backgrounds or had loads of money. Team ponies changed hands for nearly £100k and even then the new owners needed loads of expensive lessons to be able to ride them and lots of help to get them competition fit. Who knows, you could turn out to be the best rider the UK has ever had but why don't you just enjoy your riding and see where your talent and opportunities take you.
 
FfionWinnie said:
I'm still not sure about your riding ability as things stand, I'm not sure you know either to be honest, which makes me think you are quite novicey.
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I have to admit, I know naff all about OP's riding ability, but I'm being led to believe this.

Going from a single ODE (or "ODE") to the top level of BE/riding at junior championship level in 3 years is about as likely to happen as me beating Usain Bolt over 100m. Technically, it's possible. But it's never going to happened.

You're talking about having to have a very good placing at every event you go to, and even then I doubt it's possible. Even top riders get eliminated or have to withdraw.

Looking through your letter again several things jump out. You expect to make it to the top on one lesson a fortnight. Nigh on impossible, I'd say. Someone on here said they competed at a fairly high level and were having a lesson every single day.

Some of your costs... Why spend £20 on an aqua headcollar and lead rope? You could get one for half that price. Coloured and plain overreach boots...why? Surely you only need one pair if you're trying to keep costs down. You replace them when they get trashed. Some of the things on your list seem to be there for fashion. All this colour stuff. Of you really wanted to keep costs down for your parents, you wouldn't care what colour your headcollar is.

I think you need to lower your ambitions and be more realistic. I think if you wrote them that letter as "I've done my research on costs, I'd really like a pony to do pony club stuff with" then that would be lovely and you'd have much more chance of success.

Even if your parents agreed, I think they would soon be disgruntled when they realise that you budgeted everything at the bare minimum so they were more likely to say yes. What if the only saddle that fits your pony costs £1200? Perfectly possible. But you promised them it would cost £300. That's a £900 increase. I can understand why you went for (mostly) the basics, but it's a dangerous tactic. Even things like rugs...it's always useful to have two turnouts, in case one gets wrecked or soaked. Double the cost.

The F1 scenario given is very apt. You don't need a pony that can compete that highly, you haven't proved that you have the ability for one. Lower your standards (and be prepared to accept a brown headcollar) and you're much more likely to succeed :)
 
SusieT said:
to be honest, I think the people telling you it's unfair to expect your parents to bankroll this are the ones who are being unfair. Parents bankroll their kids all the time, to the tune of this and more, be it for private school, ponies, golf, sailiing, any sports etc. OP-give them the letter. Let them tell you what they think, if it's a no, well you'll have to wait until you're older and can work and pay for it. If it's a yes but, well then you work with the buts. But until you give them the letter you don't know.
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Of course they do, when they can afford it.

The vast majority of parents do not bankroll to this level, though, because it is unaffordable. More than 90% of children in this country do not go to private school. Sending the OP to a middle-of-the-road boarding school would take half her father's take-home pay every year; do you really think most of the parents splashing out on private schools and expensive sports tuition are doing it on the sort of salary we're talking about here?

A dose of reality is what's needed in this thread, and TBH you aren't helping.

A pony is one thing - and I can't see any reason why she can't ask for that - but getting set up in eventing is a different matter altogether.
 
sez1 said:
It does sound much cheaper that way. Is insurance not necessary then?
I just really wanted to do BE especially PTs. You get a lot of recognition and they're all so close and have made such good friends. It would be a really good start to riding and could help get sponsors and stuff.
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I haven't commented on this before, but honestly sez, please be realistic I am afraid you are basing your proposal on a great deal of fantasy. Get a pony ( any cheap old pony will do for now ) and show your parents you are serious and they may want to invest more time and money into your hobby. Just another note of caution, I assume your experience is riding school related? If so please do bear in mind that it is highly unlikely that the people teaching you will have any concept of what is required to compete and be successful at the level you are aiming at. So they may heap praise on you being their star pupil but that is a world away from performing a PT dressage test in front of an international panel.
 
Some are doing it on very small salaries-smaller than you'd think! There's reality and *no ones parents would ever pay for a pony, I never got a pony so neither should anyone else* attitudes and I'm providing a dose of the other, it's up to the parents to decide if it's realistic-not us!
 
SusieT I agree my mum worked as YM at a livery yard ( she is/was a single parent) our ponies keep was part of her payment. As she drove the hgv lorry for YO we got to go to shows ( proper county standard shows). It can be done on a budget but its not easy and it does require horsey parents that are slightly ( in the nicest possible way) unhinged to go that extra mile for their kids.
 
SusieT said:
Some are doing it on very small salaries-smaller than you'd think! There's reality and *no ones parents would ever pay for a pony, I never got a pony so neither should anyone else* attitudes and I'm providing a dose of the other, it's up to the parents to decide if it's realistic-not us!
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Thank you for this Susie. I do suppose you're right. I know I have overpriced some things and under priced others although many people have recommended the wintec synthetic dressage saddle for a first time dressage saddle. Also the shires Optimus puissance saddles look good too. These saddles are less than 450 new so should be able to get them for around 300 second hand. I've redone the price list so might post that later

I was just thinking. There are plenty o BE100s out there with fences that don't even exceed 90cm. After this season there are 4-5 months of no eventing. Is that not enough time to get myself and the pony jumping 1.20 courses and novice/intermediate xc fences?
(Really sorry if that sounds as I I'm ignoring all the advice and still trying to get my dream. Just wandering if It was possible)
 
sez1 said:
I was just thinking. There are plenty o BE100s out there with fences that don't even exceed 90cm. After this season there are 4-5 months of no eventing. Is that not enough time to get myself and the pony jumping 1.20 courses and novice/intermediate xc fences?
(Really sorry if that sounds as I I'm ignoring all the advice and still trying to get my dream. Just wandering if It was possible)
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Depends on the pony, but probably not. What is your jumping experience to date?
 
Honestly sez, break the whole thing down into steps. Get the pony, then decide what to do! I've been doing horses my whole life and I wouldn't dream of putting this much pressure on myself even though I can drag one of mine out to any type of show and do a half decent job I wouldn't expect the results you are aiming for. Genuine question but have you ever even been to watch an unaffiliated dressage competition? Because that's as important as the jumping phases now!
 
DabDab said:
Depends on the pony, but probably not. What is your jumping experience to date?
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I jump small courses up to 90cm and have jumped up to 1.10 in a chase me Charlie lesson. It's not much I know but I haven't really had the chance to jump much
 
Baggybreeches said:
Honestly sez, break the whole thing down into steps. Get the pony, then decide what to do! I've been doing horses my whole life and I wouldn't dream of putting this much pressure on myself even though I can drag one of mine out to any type of show and do a half decent job I wouldn't expect the results you are aiming for. Genuine question but have you ever even been to watch an unaffiliated dressage competition? Because that's as important as the jumping phases now!
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I have watched a few dressage competitions in my life. Tbh it's my favourite phase I think! To be in the top placings at pony trials I know you need great dressage. But if I want to get around safely I want to make sure we could make the height. I will cross every bridge as I come to it though
 
sez1 said:
I was just thinking. There are plenty o BE100s out there with fences that don't even exceed 90cm. After this season there are 4-5 months of no eventing. Is that not enough time to get myself and the pony jumping 1.20 courses and novice/intermediate xc fences?
(Really sorry if that sounds as I I'm ignoring all the advice and still trying to get my dream. Just wandering if It was possible)
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Not quite sure where you have got the idea from that BE100 have fences less than 90cm.... the ones I have seen recently certainly do not.

Four or five months is probably not possible to get a horse ready for a novice/intermediate course. You unfortuantly cannot make plans for things, as they invetiably go wrong.

I wanted to (and still do) compete at BE. I had the "perfect" horse for it, 16.3 NH TB type with excellent paces, and a neat clean jump. Would he do it? No, mainly because he didn't want to, and because I hadn't got enough lessons on him. Simple.

My current horse was also hopeful that she was going to do BE 4yo/5 yo classes. The wheels fell of the band wagon, and that dream will never be realised.
 
Baggybreeches said:
Also I think the one big problem in your plan is that juniors needed to be assessed and accredited by BE before they actually compete
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Really?! I've never heard of that before. I know that under sixteens or under eighteens have to be assessed before they go novice (onu18, PON, Pt) but dodnt think it was before they competed
 
DabDab said:
Depends on the pony, but probably not. What is your jumping experience to date?
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You could, depending on the pony and you- Al's done it twice, with varying success.

First was when she was 11-13. Cob on loan to her, set off doing 85cm, finished the first year doing 1m SJ and then the following year did mostly 1m and by mid-summer moved up to the occasional 1.10m. Looking back, she was crazy, the pony was crazy, and we were total novices and were so lucky it didn't go wrong (pony was too small to do BE on, so all of this was largely un-monitored!).

Second was going from 90cm ODE September to PC Open the following spring, but the pony had a lot of experience at this height and Al was gutsy and had enough sense to not be unsafe (although it was lairy, looking back).

In all honesty, it wasn't the safest and Al got through on sheer determination and a lot of luck. Both ponies were on loan, but both were originally for sale miles within your budget.
 
Baggybreeches said:
Also I think the one big problem in your plan is that juniors needed to be assessed and accredited by BE before they actually compete
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They don't, I'm pretty sure. They didn't when Al started- she was 14 on a 14.1hh, and set off straight at BE100...
 
sez1 said:
Thank you for this Susie. I do suppose you're right. I know I have overpriced some things and under priced others although many people have recommended the wintec synthetic dressage saddle for a first time dressage saddle. Also the shires Optimus puissance saddles look good too. These saddles are less than 450 new so should be able to get them for around 300 second hand. I've redone the price list so might post that later
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They may be nice, fairly cheap saddles but there is no guarantee that they would fit the pony you bought so I don't think you can plan what saddle you would get until you had a pony.

I was just thinking. There are plenty o BE100s out there with fences that don't even exceed 90cm. After this season there are 4-5 months of no eventing. Is that not enough time to get myself and the pony jumping 1.20 courses and novice/intermediate xc fences?
(Really sorry if that sounds as I I'm ignoring all the advice and still trying to get my dream. Just wandering if It was possible)
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Possible but not likely. It might take 6 months just to get to know the pony/learn what buttons to press etc. I've owned my mare since September last year and have only started jumping her this month due to problems we have encounted along the way.
 
I've just read your letter and your replies on this post and firstly, I just want to say how refreshing it is to see someone as young as you appear to be genuinely keen on horses... Your enthusiasm is lovely and your letter reminds me of something I would have written at your age to my parents, although without perhaps so much detail... I almost had a heart attack when I looked at your costings as I now own 7 of the little monsters and I tend to just ignore how much I spend these days... If your parents agree to buying you a pony, they will soon learn this invaluable skill too!! One thing you don't seem to have mentioned in your letter is the sheer time (both actual & emotional) these animals seem to take up and added to that the sheer graft involved in looking after them, and that is even before you have any chance to compete and enjoy winning and good times with them.... Also you do need to set a contingency plan as without meaning to put a dampner on things, horses do have an uncanny habit of going wrong when you least expect or want them to and you have to be prepared for that... If I was you, I would slightly edit your letter and look to compete to a lower level for a few years and get a few years of horse ownership under your belt. It would enable you to enjoy your new equine partner and learn with him/her and would lessen the pressure for you parents slightly also...

I believe from your previous posts, you are fairly local to me... If ever you want any work experience or just looking to spend time with/around horses and get a feel for what it would be like to own one, then please just give me a shout... I would be more than happy for you to come to my yard and gain a bit more experience... :)
 
Baggybreeches said:
Is that a new(ish) thing it wasn't numbers when I last evented but I am sure juniors had to be accredited? I wasn't a junior so it didn't make any difference but I remember reading about it
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Yeah, they did but the year before Al started that was removed. Now they have to start with BE90 if they're under 14 and do qualifying runs for BE100, and if they're 14 they have to do 4 BE100s and then get approval to do ONu18. It did use to be that you had to be watched and passed by a BE coach but that was scrapped as far as I'm aware.
 
3Beasties said:
Possible but not likely. It might take 6 months just to get to know the pony/learn what buttons to press etc. I've owned my mare since September last year and have only started jumping her this month due to problems we have encounted along the way.
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agree with this... a major problem with your time scale is that you haven't accounted for the first 6months to a year of getting a new horse (especially as it will be your first ever one..) is the time for getting to grips, learning their buttons and making a bond....I got my most recent horse June last year, so around 14 months ago and have only just recently clicked and started getting good results...

just be aware of this... in my opinion your 4-5 months for preparing for novice and intermediate is no way enough....especially as during the winter months there is often a good month, maybe two, where ground is unrideable due to frozen or wet ground........so xc would be out of the question a lot of the time.
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfgLjp-wX8g skip to 51 minutes or watch the whole thing it was really eye-opening!

I was like you when I was 16 apart from I have had ponies since I was 7 but only really hunted, some rallies and the odd summer show, but when I moved onto horses at 16 I had these wild ideas that I would make the juniors win medals and have loads of fans. I also thought that I knew everything about a good horse and had natural raw talent (I had only done 3 ODES!). The truth is I did not! I got a horse that was not quite right, I could barely do dressage but thanks to hunting I did know how to kick for a fence! that was it though. I had a brilliant trainer who/ still does teach me but I still really botched up. I asked too much for my horse and myself and ended up ruining him for a year-it took me that long to build up his confidence again because I wanted to become the best when I had no foundations myself. I then spent 1.5 years doing 2'6-2'9 to build up my foundations (read the parable of the two builders) and because of that my horse grew in confidence and so did I. Sadly though I lost that horse in an accident and to this day I can not thank him enough for what he taught me. I now at the tender age of 19 have a wonderful and actually very talented 5 yr ISH who has got 'it' but I have learnt not to run before I can walk and am very much taking it very steady with UA80T so that his foundations will be ready for BE next season I have also realised whilst it is ok and brilliant to have dreams, remember, 'brick by brick'
 
I know what it's like to be a pony mad kid, as do the majority (if not all of the posters!) on here! I wrote my parents a similar letter when my favourite riding school pony came up for sale (although he was 500 quid!) whilst it didn't get hem to buy him for me (thank god, I'd have outgrown him in 5seconds flat!) they did take me seriously and respect me for the thought I'd put into. I would be more realistic with your aims, if for no other reason than to stop putting so much pressure on yourself.
Take it from me, horses are a dam site more fun when you're 13 and blasting around the countryside, than they are when you're nearly 30 and trying to make a living from them! Enjoy it while you can, because one day you will achieve your dream (even if you never ride on the PT teams, you will get other dreams) and then it all becomes serious and a bit of a pain in the backside at times! I don't have sponsors or any outside pressure to do well at competitions, yet I can ruin weeks stressing about a run I have coming up, or whether the horse is sound/intact/healthy/fit/etc. Riding was so much fun when I had my trusty cob and could blast about the countryside having fun!
 
Lolo said:
You could, depending on the pony and you- Al's done it twice, with varying success.

First was when she was 11-13. Cob on loan to her, set off doing 85cm, finished the first year doing 1m SJ and then the following year did mostly 1m and by mid-summer moved up to the occasional 1.10m. Looking back, she was crazy, the pony was crazy, and we were total novices and were so lucky it didn't go wrong (pony was too small to do BE on, so all of this was largely un-monitored!).

Second was going from 90cm ODE September to PC Open the following spring, but the pony had a lot of experience at this height and Al was gutsy and had enough sense to not be unsafe (although it was lairy, looking back).

In all honesty, it wasn't the safest and Al got through on sheer determination and a lot of luck. Both ponies were on loan, but both were originally for sale miles within your budget.
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To be fair though, that's still along way from jumping mostly riding school types, even over the occasional larger fence, to jumping BE Novice/Intermediste successfully in under two seasons. . .
 
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