Liking the "theory" of competing... But "reality" is different?

glamourpuss said:
I love all these posts about how hard people work to be able to enjoy their competing.

I decided to bite the bullet with regards to my training last year. I approached a new trainer. One of the first things she said to me is 'No one ever regrets giving it all they've got'
It really struck a chord with me & over the last 12 months I've really changed my whole attitude.

Ironically I recently had a real succes at a comp, something I was really proud of....a so called 'friend' was discussing it with someone else I know & said
" well I should bloody well hope she did get placed, all that time & money she spends on training. It's embarrassing for her how hard she has to work at it"
What an awful thing to say! But actually I'm not embarrassed in the slightest about how hard I work. Yes as I stated before I can (eventually) laugh off mistakes but I learn from them & keep going.

Sometimes I think there's almost a reverse snobbery with regards to effort. Unless you've dragged your horse in from the field & gone on to win at Badminton then somehow success isn't 'valid' :(
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Your 'friend' is an idiot. :) I don't know any successful riders who don't work very hard and, frankly, spend masses of money. Including everyone at Badminton.

I never understand why people are proud they don't get the best help they can find. Do they genuinely think good riders just fall from the sky?
 
As to the original point . . . Yes, lots of people don't compete. I know some amazing riders who never go near a competition arena, some who used to win at the highest levels and gave it up, others who never felt competing was for them, others who are still involved as owners or trainers or support staff but have no interest in actually competing themselves. I know other people who have walked away from riding entirely when they couldn't compete anymore.


Compete, don't compete, whatever. No one is really that bothered. You're a grown up, do what you want. If you change your mind, do something different. If you do choose to compete, accept that even the most basic level of "success" is going to take what it takes and maybe you won't get to be the amazing person for whom it all goes easily wonderful every single time. (And who is this person???)

If you enjoy riding and don't want to compete ride and don't compete. If you enjoy competing but like the drama (there are some people who clearly DO like to be doing it by the skin of their teeth, usually complaining otherwise) then accept that it's always going to be a drama. I don't think competing has to be "fun" - I've had plenty of un-fun days. But you must be spending all that money for a reason. If you aren't getting return on your investment that seems worth it, invest elsewhere. If you genuinely feel that you are doing everything to the very best of your ability (which is not the same thing as "working hard" by the way - you can work very hard doing the wrong things) then perhaps you need fresh eyes on the situation?

Nothing on your list of "disasters" strikes me, frankly, as all that disastrous. As someone said earlier, I know people who have come home with empty trailers and even people who haven't come home. Not to mention all the people in the world who have REAL problems and could no more dream of going to a horse show than of flying to the moon. I realise other people's problems don't negate your own but if it's all such a burden, don't do it. And be grateful you're able to stop easily, that you're not hating something that feeds your kids or keeps your family off street.

Everyone has crap days. Everyone. Do you think the rider who was spun at the first Rolex trot up is having a good day? How about the person whose horse blew up in dressage? Or the person with the broken leg watching his horse go with someone else? Or the person who planned to be riding her phenomenal new horse that all her supporters scrambled to buy her, except it died? Horses are ups and downs. Life is ups and downs.
 
I know I've replied before but just thought I'd add, I went to my first away show in September at Arena, Billy (as my previous posts about him) can't manage a clear round and we had a pole in every class. However the poor girl in the stable behind me blew her horses tendon in the warm up on the second day, I remember mucking Billy out and I could hear her sobbing her heart out and telling him how sorry she was in the stable behind me. To the point that her being so upset made me upset and I didn't even know her or her horse!
Life is too bloody short to stress and worry about anything. If you get lost/ forget something/ fall off just chalk it down to experience and start planning the next one. And be grateful that you're both here with a leg in each corner and able to compete. I'm the biggest stresser in the world but at the end of the day it's a hobby, not a chore :)
 
Im with TS if you are not enjoying it just dont do it its as easy as that! I gave up eventing completely last season as I was not enjoying owning horses others were riding and all the crap that came with it. I have now gone back to my roots which is how I got into BE in the first place breeding youngsters.
Do I miss BE ? not at all!!!
 
TarrSteps said:
Nothing on your list of "disasters" strikes me, frankly, as all that disastrous. As someone said earlier, I know people who have come home with empty trailers and even people who haven't come home. Not to mention all the people in the world who have REAL problems and could no more dream of going to a horse show than of flying to the moon. I realise other people's problems don't negate your own but if it's all such a burden, don't do it. And be grateful you're able to stop easily, that you're not hating something that feeds your kids or keeps your family off street.

Everyone has crap days. Everyone. Do you think the rider who was spun at the first Rolex trot up is having a good day? How about the person whose horse blew up in dressage? Or the person with the broken leg watching his horse go with someone else? Or the person who planned to be riding her phenomenal new horse that all her supporters scrambled to buy her, except it died? Horses are ups and downs. Life is ups and downs.
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Exactly this.... Well put TS.
 
I just don't really understand the halfarsed attitude?

A few years ago, we left the yard in the lorry, picnic packed, gin in the cooler, 12 hooves really for a great day teamchasing. Great results, all clear, came home with 8 hooves. :( Was just one of those horrible horrible accidents, and what was a very good day on paper, was just the worst journey home ever.

Horses are unpredictable and mine tend to give me the best and the worst days of my life in equal share - but your "worst day ever" sounds like a case of previous preparation prevents p*ss poor performance.
 
I check, check and double check because I know if I don't I have situations like yours OP!!! I pack everything the day before, I give myself an extra hour of prep time than I need, I give myself extra travel time, pack more things than I think I'll need...

And I HACK to comps, I don't have the luxury of travelling!!! When you're sitting holding a hay net and a bored horse for an hour and a half between tests with no where to tie, when you fall and twist and ankle/hurt shoulder but have to ride home anyway, when you get so rain-soaked just hacking there that your phone IN YOU INSIDE POCKET of the tweed UNDER YOUR RAINCOAT gets so waterlogged it dies, and your horse decides a hissy fit is required when asked to wait at traffic lights even though he has a hay net and saddle bags on and this makes the balance-while rearing issue worse, when you DO get offered a lift to a comp, but your lift runs so late that you miss both your classes, get emotionally blackmailed into jumping the higher height and break your ankle at the first fence....

And I still do it. And smile. And hop off to comps with people watching me and my pack donkey with surprise. And nine months later, we had our first piddly win at a piddly unaff comp. And we were OVER THE MOON.
 
RunToEarth said:
I just don't really understand the halfarsed attitude?

A few years ago, we left the yard in the lorry, picnic packed, gin in the cooler, 12 hooves really for a great day teamchasing. Great results, all clear, came home with 8 hooves. :( Was just one of those horrible horrible accidents, and what was a very good day on paper, was just the worst journey home ever.

Horses are unpredictable and mine tend to give me the best and the worst days of my life in equal share - but your "worst day ever" sounds like a case of previous preparation prevents p*ss poor performance.
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That is just so sad
 
If the good bits don't make the c%ap bits worth it then don't bother! Either just ride for enjoyment or keep your horse as a pet, no harm in that. Everyone has disasters and bad days but like everyone else has said if you come home with a sound horse (who makes you smile) and a sound human nothing else really matters.

Last week I had a nightmare coming home from a show, we we're stuck on the motorway moving a few metres every couple of minutes, between 2 junctions for 3 hours with no hard shoulder to stop on. A journey that should have taken us 3 hours took 6! My 4th time driving a horse box! It was awful at the time, I felt so sorry for my horse and I had terrible cramps in my leg and I was sooo tired, but the day after all I could remember was how fab my horse was, the rubbish journey was at the back of my mind and just one of the those things that happen.

If I was you I'd give it a few more tries seriously leaving triple time for everything and taking some kalms tablets for a few days before to try and de-stress yourself. Do some low pressure stuff, a SJ clear round or a farm ride for example. And then re-assess how you feel about it.
 
wench said:
If anyone can beat this for a stressful day out I'd like to hear it!
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....went out for a lovely day bloodhounding with my friend. I am very safety conscious (some would say wussy!)and do not take unnecessary risks. Having watched the whole field go over a wide bridge with no rails I went over with my horse of a lifetime, (who I worked my arse off for to turn her from a stubborn ex racer who wouldn't jump round a 70 to BE100)...for some inexplicable reason she panicked and ran backwards falling off a bridge into the river. She managed to get out and a kind person boxed me back to my trailer where I was met by my friend who had hacked back. We took av straight to the vets and they operated but unfortunately the damage was too great and they pts on the table. This makes me feel sick and panicy to type this and it was now 3 years ago. 6 days later my dad died.... Try that for stressful!

However I am eternally grateful that I also did not end up in the river as I am not sure I would have got out. I am very grateful for my lovely friend for just being ace, I am very grateful for my lovely friend who lent me and then sold me her wonderful homebred gingie who has taught me how not to be a complete pleb showjumping. Gingie is now rehabbing from an injury which may or may not work... So I have bought a 5 year old to play with alongside gingies rehab. I am extremely lucky and have them at home but I have no facilities whatsoever....I cannot even ride in the field as it is too wet or too hard....this makes bringing on the 5 year old harder but I'm having a lot of fun doing it!

I am not telling you this for sympathy or to play the 'who's had it harder game', but rather (to put it bluntly) to tell u to get some perspective. You have a horse, you have a job, you have opportunities. It is meant to be fun so if you are not having fun, don't compete but appreciate the bits that you do enjoy, or get a new hobby.
 
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I agree with Tarrsteps and PS largely.

It takes a phenomenal amount of hard work with horses, it's not a hobby it's a lifestyle. If you don't like your lifestyle you change it. You find what makes it work for you, you look at what you really want out of it and work out how to get it.

If you feel exhausted all the time maybe it's you and not the horses? I mean this in a nice way but maybe your own health needs some TLC.

It's hard to see sometimes but all of us who have the pleasure of being involved with horses are really very privileged. Perhaps that sound idealistic but I believe it's true. We've all poured blood sweat and tears into something for it to not work out. But you never look back and regret doing something you love. I work in palliative care and it's the highs and lows people laugh and talk about at the end, if it all ran smoothly there would be no story. Even if you think everyone else has an easy day out and seems to do it easily you never know what that person has got through to be where they are. Everyone is fighting there own battle.
 
OP it sounds as though you could do with a buddy to do competitions with, to make it a shared day out and less stressful. If you're the nervy and stressful type that it only takes one thing to push you over the edge (I am!) it helps to have someone to share with and de stress with. I can understand you getting upset. Other people are right, more preparation would help a bit, although I don't agree that all those things were your fault. (I would have made a cardboard numberplate and run around later to get a real one).
 
Oh gosh (does anyone still say that) .Theory of competing. I know from my own self ,but also from the two young ladies I am involved with (only on an eventing basis sadly) .One ,let us call her A ,is high maintenance,very stressy, and very very capable ,(pony club A test and rides the odd one star event and has brought her horse up to this through so many problems (including grass sickness,jeez ,not many come back from that let alone do 1*.The other ,let us call her miss P is totaly laid back, Showjumping and dressage are a bit hit and miss ,(5 minutes before dressage test, oh,shes gone wrong , oh no I learned the wrong test , learns it and gets it right). Both riders are equaly tallented , yet both approach it in a different way. Oddly enough ,the totaly laid back rider seems to get away with murder with my horse. He seems to like her attitude . But the other rider keeps him sharp and on his toes and is more able to correct stride showjumping and of course the nemesis of all Irish draughts ,the dressage. Do both riders have fun , I hope so but with one ,A, we get a lot more tears of frustration. Yes preparation is important , but ones frame of mind is far more important.
 
Strangely, I have 'enjoyed' reading this thread. I am going through a 'difficult' time at the mo but am determined to keep smiling and keep positive - who wants to spend time with someone who is moaning all the time???

In reading this thread I realise I am 'not alone', there are a lot of kindred spirits out there ... and a common theme running through many of the posts is 'the more you put in the more you get out'. Its hard work being happy but the end results make the journey worthwhile!
 
See, now I took away, 'Do what you want to do, there is moarean one way to be happy with horses.' :D (With the proviso that results take work, however you define them.)

Shows how two people can read the same advice and take it very differently.

I was thinking about this yesterday, hacking a young horse in the rain. He's on an intensive 'get hacking' program because, despite having him a year, his people have struggled to get him out consistently and his owner has not been finding it fun at all. So he's been out 8x in under 3 weeks and I would say yesterday was the first time he was even a little 'fun'. Plus we got to work on clambering through the mud, which is something he struggles with. So a good day all 'round! No work, no rewards. :)

So much of this is how you think about the situation. If you're expecting the universe - and the horse - to play ball just because that's what you want, you will be constantly disappointed. If you keep trying to raise your game and progress in the areas you CAN control, then it's much easier to be satisfied.
 
I can honestly say that my competition days rarely go absolutely 100% to plan (that's horses + infinite variables!) but that doesn't mean they're not really enjoyable and educational for both.
Factoring extra time in means that if there is a bit of a screw-up somewhere, I don't end up in a rush (which I hate). I'd rather get out of bed an hour earlier and then swan through the day with spare time, works for me.
Being mega-organised is a definite asset, make sure everything is as sorted as you can possibly get it.
You seem to have lots of trailer-getting-blocked-in dramas, I'd probably find some road cones and keep them in the trailer and stick them out to prevent people from blocking you in!
Working well within your comfort zone until you are bored and want to step up should take the pressure off. I'd probably just do a local W&T test and/or minimus at first to get your competing mojo back.
Also, trying not to care what anyone else thinks... it's your horse, you do what you want with it! :)
 
I am an absolute master of disaster - as my friends will confirm. Even in my professional life (that's a personal oxymoron) I will leave important jobs to the last minute for reasons best known to my psyche and then panic & perform.

I have been competing since I was a small child and it just makes me complacent I think, I also like to get a rosette, but increasingly I am just going for the fun, and so a few mishaps along the way add a bit of spice.

I know plenty of people who are fantastically well organised, do really well (in normal, mortal person terms) and who don't seem to really have fun. I suppose they compete because they want to do well, which is fair enough.

Some of my most successful days have involved forgetting important stuff - like saddles, johds, boots, venue, money, test. Appaling lateness, terrible turnout, mild inebriation and general bad behaviour (equine and human).

One day I think I will be organised, but from experience, those are the days when I fall off on the XC having led the class, so I'm not sure it should be encouraged.
 
If you don't like the fact that things go wrong, don't compete. Simples :D

We've decided that competitions are days out. The pressure is off. If we get to compete, get a frilly, manage to stay on board and not end up in A&E (horse or human) then all is good with the world :) :)
 
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i have not read every reply but i do understand to a degree what OP is talking about. i don't compete much simply because I don't enjoy doing so significantly more than training at home or going XC schooling. But whether for competition or for schooling at home i do believe if you want a nice ride you got to put the work in and sometimes that means pushing on through times/rides/days/weeks which are not at all nice. Also for me the sort of horse I like to ride at home is probably a bit too sharp for me to want to take to say a hunter trial but the kind of lovely school master I would need to get going competitively XC would bore my socks of day in day out at home. so its also about choices - because I know I enjoy the daily ride as much if not more than the competition I choose horses who I will enjoy schooling not ones I think will bring me back frillies every weekend (though my lot have collected a few its not my main joy in them)
 
Brilliantly put Blythespirit & more or less sums up how I feel. The daily ride and training are great in themselves, competing doesn't necessarily bring greater reward, though it's great to have specific points to work toward.
 
Whilst I do agree that competition is a take it or leave it thing,I cant agree with Blythespirit. Yes a sharp fun horse is great at home but he should be no different and no less rideable out at a "party". If he cant do a hunter trial, he cant hunt, he probably cant do a fun ride, and probably cant do endurance trec and a whole host of other stuff. In short , he is just one stage up from a paddock ornament. This is my opinion ,others are entitled to disagree. This post is all about our different attitudes.
 
Mike007 said:
Whilst I do agree that competition is a take it or leave it thing,I cant agree with Blythespirit. Yes a sharp fun horse is great at home but he should be no different and no less rideable out at a "party". If he cant do a hunter trial, he cant hunt, he probably cant do a fun ride, and probably cant do endurance trec and a whole host of other stuff. In short , he is just one stage up from a paddock ornament. This is my opinion ,others are entitled to disagree. This post is all about our different attitudes.
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To be fair, I don't think Valegro, Big Star or Quimbo (not even mentioning Dances With Wolves, Hickstead - I know but you can't deny he's one of the best jumpers of the current generation - or Nereo who all look a lot less ridable) would be cut out for those gigs and I bet they are all super fun to ride. :)

But, as you say, it's what people want to get out of it. Super sensitive horses can be fantastic to ride when they are relaxed but exhausting and not much fun when wound up. More phlegmatic types, who can keep their heads in your average fun ride may not always be the most exciting at home. If you want to compete and have an easy life, it does help to have the "right" horse for the job, which is part of that "perfect preparation" people are talking about.
 
TarrSteps said:
To be fair, I don't think Valegro, Big Star or Quimbo (not even mentioning Dances With Wolves, Hickstead - I know but you can't deny he's one of the best jumpers of the current generation - or Nereo who all look a lot less ridable) would be cut out for those gigs and I bet they are all super fun to ride. :)

But, as you say, it's what people want to get out of it. Super sensitive horses can be fantastic to ride when they are relaxed but exhausting and not much fun when wound up. More phlegmatic types, who can keep their heads in your average fun ride may not always be the most exciting at home. If you want to compete and have an easy life, it does help to have the "right" horse for the job, which is part of that "perfect preparation" people are talking about.
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I agree but I also think that the preparation, organisation and attitude that you have to your riding and your horse can affect how suitable your horse is for any job. The more I see of different horses the more I am amazed how adaptable they are, and I know that there are some extreme individuals who are only suitable for certain disciplines/ types of riding, but I do think that the majority can be moulded by consistent work. For instance my friend had a super hot, sharp warmblood who in a professional yard would have made an excellent dressage diva and yet she kept it in a cow shed from the word go and evented it. Retrained racehorses can be turned from highly strung performance animals in to sensible chilled happy hackers with correct management. I still think that this thread basically comes down to you get out what you put in, and if it's not working for you and the management restrictions that our lifestyles dictate, then you either have to change your goals, change your horse, change your management, change something because it is meant to be fun not stressful! (God I'm in teacher mode, apologies!)
 
Wench, you sound a bit like me, only maybe with higher expectations. I have a fairly long hours, high stress job where I have to be organised. Outside that, I'm the most disorganised person ever. And I'm a rubbish driver who hates towing. My solution is to go out often, to a variety of things, where I know the venue (and the parking) with no real expectations. Most of my outings are with daughter and (incredibly tricky) chestnut mare. We usually have no idea what she will be like on the day but always try and have fun.

Yesterday's outing (daughters first SJ after one last year where, after 2h wait to compete, she was eliminated at fence 2) was not untypical. Got to the yard to find space to turn trailer was tight and spent 10 minutes doing a 99 point turn. Mare didn't want to load, but did eventually. Realised that the bridle we wanted was at home (no big problem as venue we had chosen was very near home and husband met us there with bridle). Mare warmed up beautifully but, once she got into the ring, refused to go anywhere near fence 1 and reared repeatedly. Daughter entered her in a tiny class HC and (despite more rearing / toys out of pram moments) got her to jump 2 fences nicely in succession, at which point she patted her and finished. So, not exactly what we'd hoped for, but we had a nice day, I did manage to manoeuvre the trailer, daughter didn't fall off, there are some amusing photos up on the photographers website (including a series of mare having a complete strop and then sweetly popping over a fence, ears pricked as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth) and the bacon rolls from the catering van were delicious.

I think it is all a matter of perspective. Prepare as well as you can but, if things don't exactly go to plan, focus on the positives and don't get stressed. It is supposed to be fun.
 
lme said:
Wench, you sound a bit like me, only maybe with higher expectations. I have a fairly long hours, high stress job where I have to be organised. Outside that, I'm the most disorganised person ever. And I'm a rubbish driver who hates towing. My solution is to go out often, to a variety of things, where I know the venue (and the parking) with no real expectations. Most of my outings are with daughter and (incredibly tricky) chestnut mare. We usually have no idea what she will be like on the day but always try and have fun.

Yesterday's outing (daughters first SJ after one last year where, after 2h wait to compete, she was eliminated at fence 2) was not untypical. Got to the yard to find space to turn trailer was tight and spent 10 minutes doing a 99 point turn. Mare didn't want to load, but did eventually. Realised that the bridle we wanted was at home (no big problem as venue we had chosen was very near home and husband met us there with bridle). Mare warmed up beautifully but, once she got into the ring, refused to go anywhere near fence 1 and reared repeatedly. Daughter entered her in a tiny class HC and (despite more rearing / toys out of pram moments) got her to jump 2 fences nicely in succession, at which point she patted her and finished. So, not exactly what we'd hoped for, but we had a nice day, I did manage to manoeuvre the trailer, daughter didn't fall off, there are some amusing photos up on the photographers website (including a series of mare having a complete strop and then sweetly popping over a fence, ears pricked as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth) and the bacon rolls from the catering van were delicious.

I think it is all a matter of perspective. Prepare as well as you can but, if things don't exactly go to plan, focus on the positives and don't get stressed. It is supposed to be fun.
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This ^^^!!!

D1 said she didn't want to compete any more. I thought it was because Grey Mare goes like an Exocet missile and locks onto anything she considers could possibly be a jump (this is despite a tonne of lesson, vet, physio, pro riders, etc). Turns out it was because of the expectation I put on her! My bad! So now, when D1 is back from Uni, we'll go just for fun. The partnership is capable of winning and moving up the ranks, but it really doesn't matter in the great scheme of things; so long as all come back in one piece, then it will be a nice day out :)
 
I haven't had time to read all the post but from what I can gather, it sounds like you don't want to compete really and you are trying to justify that by giving out the long list of things that have gone wrong! At the end of the day, like everyone on here has said, its all about preparation, training and a bloody lot of hard work!!! I've got 2 homebred youngsters coming out this year. I do have good facilities but no transport so have to hire someone at 60 - 80 quid a time (depending on venue) then pay entries, food ect.... probably to just do one intro class and maybe a prelim. One of my horses is sharp as hell and will be a like riding an grenade with the pin out BUT they will never learn unless they go out to lost of parties settle.

Sometimes I leave work and think I can't be a*sed to ride but I make myself and usually feel better after, and when its raining and windy and going in the school is the last thing I want to do, I still do it!!

I buy the gear, pay for lessons, have the back person, vet, dentist, spend a small fortune on feed, put the hours in because I want to go out and do well at the end of the day.

Just to pay also, it doesn't make you any less of a rider if you don't compete. If you want to ride 2-3 times a week for leisure then do it! Horses are supposed to be an enjoyment at the end of the day - for some that's competing and for others it's just spending time with their horse :-)
 
You really don't sound like you're having fun! I don't compete at all, because I don't enjoy it. Doesn't mean I don't work as hard at home as someone who is out competing every week - I get great personal satisfaction from achieving what i set out to achieve, and I regularly get off my horse on a high, even though he is very limited in what i can do with him at the moment. I love going to clinics/having lessons, and I love spectating at competitions - it all helps me out with what I'm trying to achieve, but I don't feel the need to go out and compete myself. Ironically, I'm really competitive, and that's got a lot to do with why I don't compete - because i get so cross with myself if I ride badly through nerves!
 
I completely agree with you OP. I work my absolute arse off day in day out with my horse. He is hot, sensitive and honestly an absolute arse but the most talented horse I have ever ridden. I have regular lessons, I prepare well, I educate myself I'm absolutely obsessed. This horse is the only horse I have ever owned and I have had him for 5 years. In that time I have always and only ever wanted to event. Every time we ever got close in the past he either went lame, had colic surgery or I went to university. Last year we finally managed 2 BE events until his feet fell apart. This year we have done one unaff ODE and Northallerton BE today. He pulled a shoe off XC schooling last weekend taking half his foot off with it. Farrier came and shod him on wednesday then just as I got on for the dressage today he pulled it off again. He is awful to handle at shows and destroys anything within a 5m radius of him. I get so stressed out at shows because he is so awful on the ground, and I am just so desperate to compete after I spend MONTHS preparing, obsessing, Paying out all the time (with money I don't have lol) sacrificing everything else in my life to do this that yes it really does upset me when I get there and it all goes to pot. It's clear I put too much pressure on myself as I am never mad at his performance it's my crap riding that lets us down and his awful behaviour makes it all 100000 times worse. Would I ever quite? No. but to those of you saying its purely hard work and dedication have obviously got lady luck on their side!!!!
 
LPL said:
to those of you saying its purely hard work and dedication have obviously got lady luck on their side!!!!
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That's not what we're saying, it's not just about hard work and dedication, if it was there would be a lot more Olympic gold medallists amongst us. It's about relevant hard work, a careful management system (as Tarrsteps often points out 'it takes a village') and a whole heap of other stuff - and yes, you're right, probably a good old dollop of luck in there as well.

What it isn't, is sitting dreaming about it, hoping it'll all work out, and then getting despondent when (surprise surprise) it doesn't happen.

And just to repeat the old quote (can't remember who said it off hand) - "The harder I work, the luckier I get" :)
 
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