Loan Dilemma

Honestly this dad sounds like my dad and I was put in numerous similar situations as a child and young woman over the years. It broke my heart every single time but I can tell you now he never had any intention of buying the horse or paying the bill or making my life happier or easier in any way whatsoever. It was all just a device to make me jump through hoops to bolster his ego.

None of this helps you though except that you should make arrangements to sell the pony to the best possible home asap as this guy isn't going to put his hand in his pocket.
 
Don’t gift the horse OP, although that’s a lovely thought.

what if you do that and then she needs veterinary attention that the parent is unable/ unwilling to pay for?

I see buying a horse not only as a process of reimbursing the seller for their horse/ hard work In producing it but also in showing responsibility for it and it’s welfare.
 
I wouldn't draw too many conclusions about their intentions based on that conversation tbh AE. The mother may simply not have spoken to the father about it recently, and therefore not be sure how to respond, or they may be keeping you hanging a bit in the hopes of negotiating on price. I would just say to them (ideally both if you can, as dad sounds like he controls the course strings) that you need a decision by X date so that you can start advertising her if they aren't planning on buying. And then see what happens.

I'm another whose astonished they let the girl walk to the yard in the dark at 6am!!
 
Pearlsasinger said:
they sound like despicable people, what on earth are they doing letting the child walk to the yard at 6.00 am on her own? However that is not your concern, just stick to your part of the bargain.
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She's twelve, not two, it's rural Derbyshire with quiet roads and child abduction by strangers is a very rare occurrence. She's a lucky girl to be allowed such freedom these days, it was the norm when you and I were that age. They should buy her a bike though!

.
 
As with many things it is all down to communication. You don't say if Mum has indicated why Dad is being indecisive. It could be many of the reasons that others have offered. Are there any other children and is Dad pondering on what equivalent "present" he could give them? Who knows and, frankly, that is not our business but AE certainly needs to have some decision from them as the welfare of the horse is involved here. She sounds like a wonderful little girl and it would be heartbreaking for her to give Jenny up but it is down to the parents to call this one - they entered into an agreement which they must honour one way or another and come clean about that decision now.
My only other thought is to wonder when is the child's birthday? If it were to fall within a month or two I might be tempted to continue the loan on the clear agreement from the parents that they bought Jenny as the best birthday present ever.
 
I am surprised at the number of people shocked at the girl walking. She is not a baby, 12 is a responsible age, and they are quite happy to walk around towns with their friends early evening at that age. When I had my first pony I was 8 and every morning without fail I had to get up at 5.30am, walk down the farm drive 1/2 mile (parents owned farm), feed, muck out, walk back another 1/2 mile to get water, lug water back down, walk back home, then walk said horse down to turnout before I went to school bus, and the same each evening. I had to cut the grass with a push lawnmower weekly (1 acre), hoover downstairs and empty dishwasher daily, all for the keep of the farrier and jabs (parents had own straw, hay etc). My parents were very strict, but they made it clear that if I wanted a horse, I had to look after it. It did me no harm. And I am 36 now, so it wasn't that many years ago.
 
Leo Walker said:
Its customary to give a months notice of ending a loan, so they need to do that tomorrow at the latest
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I am not sure it is, if the loan is set up with a fixed end date of 31st March, notice is assumed, and I dont think it will be in the contract that they need to give a month's notice to end on 31st March.
 
bouncing_ball said:
I am not sure it is, if the loan is set up with a fixed end date of 31st March, notice is assumed, and I dont think it will be in the contract that they need to give a month's notice to end on 31st March.
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I guess only AE knows, but if its not it should be. Its a LWTB, the assumption was they would buy, so if not I'd want notice of the pony returning. Either way, with a month to go, its perfectly reasonable to ask whats happening
 
Frumpoon said:
Around about now is a good time to say to the parents 'are you buying this pony or what?'
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I have. And the reply was dad needs convincing which is what prompted this thread. There is no logical reason for him to to still need convincing if what they said at the outset was true - ie that the loan was simply to ensure the girl was committed before going ahead with the sale.
 
Ambers Echo said:
I have. And the reply was dad needs convincing which is what prompted this thread. There is no logical reason for him to to still need convincing if what they said at the outset was true - ie that the loan was simply to ensure the girl was committed before going ahead with the sale.
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Hmmmm I see....I would take that as a 'no' then....very sad....
 
Ambers Echo said:
I have. And the reply was dad needs convincing which is what prompted this thread. There is no logical reason for him to to still need convincing if what they said at the outset was true - ie that the loan was simply to ensure the girl was committed before going ahead with the sale.
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Then I suspect you need to convince him that they will have no pony come March if they do not buy - so I would expressly give a months' notice of that (whether you think you need to or not under the contract) and see what happens but be prepared to take the pony back.
 
ycbm said:
She's twelve, not two, it's rural Derbyshire with quiet roads and child abduction by strangers is a very rare occurrence. She's a lucky girl to be allowed such freedom these days, it was the norm when you and I were that age. They should buy her a bike though!

.
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And how many teenage children get run over on the 'quiet Derbyshire roads' ?

It certainly wasn't the norm where I grew up for a 12 yr old girl to walk anywhere on her own at 6.00am. You have obviously forgotten (if you ever knew) that where I grew up was not very far from Saddleworth Moor. Only irresponsible parents would have allowed it.
 
I wouldnt do anything as it stands I think your idea to leave it a couple of weeks is the right one.

January is financially a horrible month for most of us, I am much happier to make monetary decisions now that its over even though there was no reason to hold back.

I'd let it go to mid month and then start making noises about advertising. if it takes the pony two months to sell I would still end the loan on the agreed date so it doesnt get messy and strung out
 
Pearlsasinger said:
And how many teenage children get run over on the 'quiet Derbyshire roads' ?

It certainly wasn't the norm where I grew up for a 12 yr old girl to walk anywhere on her own at 6.00am. You have obviously forgotten (if you ever knew) that where I grew up was not very far from Saddleworth Moor. Only irresponsible parents would have allowed it.
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We don't have a moors murderer operating at the moment, PaS, and children are trained a lot more on stranger danger than they were when Brady and Hindley were active.

Of course your childhood was blighted by it, living so close. But at the time they were active I walked alone to and from school in Wales at the age of 7, and disappeared for hours in the company of a couple of friends the same age. At 8 or 9, in the company of boys of 12 and 13 I was sailing on a tidal lock in a three seat canoe and running wild in a wooded hillside.

Children are having their opportunity to learn independence stifled by the fears of adults. I understand why, but I think she is a lucky girl to have such freedom.

.
 
Ambers Echo said:
That's what I thought hence my rant! But as others have pointed out, the loan period is not yet over. I will let them know mid Feb that I will be allowing viewings from March 1st and hope that focuses the mind.
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I think you are right. It's not long till half term holidays, I'd pop a note via email or in writing at the beginning of that week, asking if they could confirm if they would be purchasing the pony with the agreed full payment of ££'s by BACS on the last day of the month. Can add, that it is no problem for AE to allow the agreement to run to that date, but if they don't wish to pay in full would they please arrange to return all equipment in a clean condition as the pony will be advertised for sale from the 1st of March, as the loan with view to buy agreement will have expired.

Good luck AE x
 
The Fuzzy Furry said:
I think you are right. It's not long till half term holidays, I'd pop a note via email or in writing at the beginning of that week, asking if they could confirm if they would be purchasing the pony with the agreed full payment of ££'s by BACS on the last day of the month. Can add, that it is no problem for AE to allow the agreement to run to that date, but if they don't wish to pay in full would they please arrange to return all equipment in a clean condition as the pony will be advertised for sale from the 1st of March, as the loan with view to buy agreement will have expired.

Good luck AE x
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I agree with this, though if AE wants to clarify the situation sooner, then I would definitely be speaking with the mum the next time I saw her at the yard, and explaining informally that the loan will NOT continue after the 1st March, so she needs to speak with her husband and find out his intentions.

Fiona
 
I would say you are letting them know you will be starting to market the pony on the weekend of the 22nd of Feb so they you are giving them warning to prepare the child for the end of the loan but of course if they choose to buy her that’s great .
I would then nudge them by having an up to date photo session in ten days or so .
If the pony suits invest a little time and subterfuge into some nudging it may all work out fine .
 
Honestly if the dad needs further convincing at this stage i'd be very worried about how involved/engaged or responsible these parents are going to be in the care of the animal

The child will still need driving to shows/rallies/lessons....vets will need booking and paying for and so on
 
Frumpoon said:
Honestly if the dad needs further convincing at this stage i'd be very worried about how involved/engaged or responsible these parents are going to be in the care of the animal

The child will still need driving to shows/rallies/lessons....vets will need booking and paying for and so on
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looking at it from the other side the loan was until March so the Dad is just sticking to the arrangement that was made
 
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