Lunaruns
New User
I inherited a horse when my dad died suddenly. He is a lovely horse but too big, too strong and too forward for me. I tried to make it work but had a young family and so when his sharer asked if she could take him on full loan I readily agreed. She moved him to another yard to be with friends. After about a year I offered to give him to sharer, which she declined. However she has cared for him for the last 6 years. During that time he has been intermittently lame due to navicular changes, ringbone and sidebone but whenever I checked in with loaner she said she was still happy to keep him.
In September I got a text from her to say she didn’t feel it was right to ride him anymore and could I contribute to livery fees so she can afford to ride other horses. I offered to take him back but she said she would like him to stay at current yard as he is settled there and he is now an old man at 24.
I agreed that we would share him and see how it goes. It’s been a bit of a disaster! Sharer is still taking him for long hacks despite the fact he is on 2 Bute a day, my daughter is not finding it easy to fit in at large cliquey yard and resents time up there, I hate the fact that the horses are in 24/7 all winter in conditions that I would describe as ‘less than ideal’ even for ridden horses.
Today I raised the idea of moving horse to my friends yard (DIY) with all year turnout. This resulted in sharer crying hysterically and saying she was afraid this would happen and she wished she had never got in touch to ask for money. She thinks he would be miserable being retired in a field (stabled at night) and she says she loves him too much to ever lose him and she doesn’t like having us around and taking half the time with him. I feel awful as it was never my intention to make anyone feel bad and when she asked me to contribute financially I thought she meant sharing him but apparently she just wanted to have some money towards his keep. She still says she doesn’t wish to own him.
I feel really confused as to what is the right thing to do now. Do I ‘fight’ her to move a horse I don’t actually want, to a yard that is in theory better, although there is every chance she is right about horse not settling/enjoying the turnout as he was a much younger horse last time I owned him fully? Do I have an obligation to continue to pay half the cost of a horse at a full livery that I don’t feel is suitable especially as I’m not convinced it is morally right to ride him, let alone having the liability of vets bills when I feel the horse is being kept in a way that is detrimental to his health?
I think this horse is all so tied up with dads death I’m struggling to know which way is up! On the one hand I accept he is my responsibility as his legal owner, on the other I feel that unless I have some control over how he is managed I am reluctant to just accept a liability for all and any costs for the rest of his life.
If you’ve managed to keep reading all of that I guess I’d love some impartial advice about what my obligations are and/ or what you would do in this situation.
In September I got a text from her to say she didn’t feel it was right to ride him anymore and could I contribute to livery fees so she can afford to ride other horses. I offered to take him back but she said she would like him to stay at current yard as he is settled there and he is now an old man at 24.
I agreed that we would share him and see how it goes. It’s been a bit of a disaster! Sharer is still taking him for long hacks despite the fact he is on 2 Bute a day, my daughter is not finding it easy to fit in at large cliquey yard and resents time up there, I hate the fact that the horses are in 24/7 all winter in conditions that I would describe as ‘less than ideal’ even for ridden horses.
Today I raised the idea of moving horse to my friends yard (DIY) with all year turnout. This resulted in sharer crying hysterically and saying she was afraid this would happen and she wished she had never got in touch to ask for money. She thinks he would be miserable being retired in a field (stabled at night) and she says she loves him too much to ever lose him and she doesn’t like having us around and taking half the time with him. I feel awful as it was never my intention to make anyone feel bad and when she asked me to contribute financially I thought she meant sharing him but apparently she just wanted to have some money towards his keep. She still says she doesn’t wish to own him.
I feel really confused as to what is the right thing to do now. Do I ‘fight’ her to move a horse I don’t actually want, to a yard that is in theory better, although there is every chance she is right about horse not settling/enjoying the turnout as he was a much younger horse last time I owned him fully? Do I have an obligation to continue to pay half the cost of a horse at a full livery that I don’t feel is suitable especially as I’m not convinced it is morally right to ride him, let alone having the liability of vets bills when I feel the horse is being kept in a way that is detrimental to his health?
I think this horse is all so tied up with dads death I’m struggling to know which way is up! On the one hand I accept he is my responsibility as his legal owner, on the other I feel that unless I have some control over how he is managed I am reluctant to just accept a liability for all and any costs for the rest of his life.
If you’ve managed to keep reading all of that I guess I’d love some impartial advice about what my obligations are and/ or what you would do in this situation.
