Loss of confidence in my horse - should I give up?

[Pippity]

PSSM was my first thought, too.

I know that it seems to get touted as a possible underlying factor in many ridden issues, but it absolutely can cause that sort of unexpected bog off.

PSSM was my first thought too, but I accept it's very heavily on my mind atm.

OP, did the vet test CK and AST enzyme levels?

 

[Winters100]

You are absolutely not too old to ride and own horses, you just need the right horse, and having lost confidence in him I doubt that this one will ever be truly right for you. There is no shame at all in recognizing that you both need a change and letting him move on to a good new home. You can then focus on finding the right horse. My policy with buying is not to look for horses that I can just about manage, but for ones who I feel that I could enjoy even if I was tired or having a bad day. The right horse is out there, and I am sure that you will find them

 

[Highmileagecob]

I've just decided to sell my boy. As heartbreaking as it is, I know it's the right decision. He's not done much wrong at all but I've never felt right on him. It was really affecting my confidence, which was affecting his. It's meant to be fun. If it's not, it's time to move on.

A very honest post, which will hopefully benefit both horse and rider. It is meant to be fun, and there a lot of people hanging on to unsuitable horses for various guilty reasons. There are lots of good homes out there, and lots of good riders who will get on just fine with yours. I hope you manage to find the right place for him and sort yourself out with a new horse.

 

[Ratface]

I echo the "sell your current horse" messages . Life is too short not to have fun on an expensive hobby.
My family's motto re horses was "If you get on them, expect to fall off them!"
Your horse will find a satisfactory home and you will find a confidence builder.
I would, perhaps, look for an older horse. A "been there, done that" sort. Make sure you get a 5* vetting from a respected equine practice.
I'm 77, carrying lots of old spinal injuries. I ride my 16hh 30yr old Arabian. He carries ex-professional SJ injuries. We know each others' limits, both mental and physical.
We have loads of fun, arguments, mutual grooming and respect.
Onwards!

 

[Birker2020]

I echo the "sell your current horse" messages . Life is too short not to have fun on an expensive hobby.
My family's motto re horses was "If you get on them, expect to fall off them!"
Your horse will find a satisfactory home and you will find a confidence builder.
I would, perhaps, look for an older horse. A "been there, done that" sort. Make sure you get a 5* vetting from a respected equine practice.
I'm 77, carrying lots of old spinal injuries. I ride my 16hh 30yr old Arabian. He carries ex-professional SJ injuries. We know each others' limits, both mental and physical.
We have loads of fun, arguments, mutual grooming and respect.
Onwards!

he sounds lovely x

 

[Birker2020]

deleted

 

[HashRouge]

I echo the "sell your current horse" messages . Life is too short not to have fun on an expensive hobby.
My family's motto re horses was "If you get on them, expect to fall off them!"
Your horse will find a satisfactory home and you will find a confidence builder.
I would, perhaps, look for an older horse. A "been there, done that" sort. Make sure you get a 5* vetting from a respected equine practice.
I'm 77, carrying lots of old spinal injuries. I ride my 16hh 30yr old Arabian. He carries ex-professional SJ injuries. We know each others' limits, both mental and physical.
We have loads of fun, arguments, mutual grooming and respect.
Onwards!

I always love the sound of your horse, would love to see some photos!

 

[Birker2020]

I always love the sound of your horse, would love to see some photos!

Me too!

 

[Reacher]

OP have you had any feedback from your RI now she has been schooling him for a bit, as to whether she thinks he is suitable for you or not? (I’m just assuming RI is a she but apologies if not!)

When I was a green 13 year old fresh out of RS (many years ago) my first pony started acting up (rearing when tied up etc) and as it was our first pony we were a bit intimidated - she was young and green but had a nice nature and just needed more work. Her previous owner’s daughter (a Bhsai) came and gave us a lesson and we were fine. (Had her for the rest of her days).

A few decades later I bought a new horse who bucked me off a few times and I had a concussion - she went for schooling livery - but basically we were a bad match and the horse was sold. I was in floods about selling (cried all the way when we took her to the new home!) but it was the right thing to do. It was no fun having a horse I could not enjoy and did not feel safe on.

So (assuming no health issues with the horse) I am wondering if your RI has formed an opinion as to which category your horse fits in?

 

[MagicMelon]

Ask your instructor to sell for you. I think once you've had your confidence damaged to this point, you'll never fully regain your trust in the horse and that'll keep down any enjoyment. Some horses just dont suit certain people, the horse may well not do it with someone else, its nothing against your riding, just the way it is. Life is too short IMO. You're not going to regret it once you find a horse that really suits you. I had a lovely horse, she really was lovely - great in all ways but I just didnt really click with her so I didnt truly enjoy riding her which was such a shame, Ive sold her and now I really see that now I have a horse who I do really enjoy (and not a type I necessarily would have chosen!). I think the horse has to fit in with your time of life too, my horse in a million (now retired in my field) was a nightmare to begin with, he threw me off many times in our first year but I got through it purely because I was a teenager and had no fear back then! I would never put up with that now as I have 3 young kids and simply cant afford to get hurt (which does change fear levels).

 

[Birker2020]

Ask your instructor to sell for you. I think once you've had your confidence damaged to this point, you'll never fully regain your trust in the horse and that'll keep down any enjoyment. Some horses just dont suit certain people, the horse may well not do it with someone else, its nothing against your riding, just the way it is. Life is too short IMO. You're not going to regret it once you find a horse that really suits you. .

Agree. I had a Grade B SJ as my first 'real' horse, he was amazing, I could jump anything on him, the confidence I got was amazing. He was 11 when he was PTS after suffering an appalling accident on a fun ride. So it was always going to be hard to find something like him again.

I went onto to have an ISH and I had issues with him almost straight away. He was the total opposite of the first horse. He was moody, used to pin me against the wall. He was lazy, uncooperative and used to spin most of the time. Got all the usual checks done, nothing found.

He was a very dominant type and hated SJ and dressage or schooling, but came alive on a XC course. Best ride I've ever had on a horse in my life was on him at Offchurch doing a fun ride, he just ate the XC fences, just jumped them all out of his stride, he was incredible. He just had no interest in anything else unless it involved galloping or jumping fixed obstacles. Interestingly his Mum was a hunter and his Dad a famous racehorse. So I guess a lot of it was nature not nurture.

I wanted to sell him, Mum told me to wait until the spring and then he lost his life with a broken leg in the November. Very sad.

Shame, he was a nice horse for someone, but it wasn't me and we just never gelled. There's nothing wrong with admitting defeat, think I will get to this testing stage with my new horse but have yet to ride him again so time will tell. But its gonna be hard to part with him that's for sure.

RIP Biggles & Mikki.