Pictures Mental Health and Horses.

[luckyoldme]

It was a big factor in letting mine go.
Although I met some fantastic folk through mine I also saw the worst.
With horses unless you have your own land you are tied to other people's whims and drama.
I've been on yards where staying out of people's way isn't enough and yards which were brilliant till one person came and totally wrecked them.
I do miss horses but after. 4 years horseless I wouldn't go back.
At the moment I've got a road bike and a mountain bike both in my kitchen. When I get home they won't have kicked the shit out of each other and wrecked the place..that's a plus too!

 

[Red-1]

You photo is lovely, it looks idyllic.

I am usually very resilient, but with mum's illness and subsequent death, my resilience has been eroded somewhat.

I found that with less resilience, and advancing age with creaky joints, that I wasn't enjoying my young sport horse any more. I still enjoyed getting out into the fresh air and doing chores, and over lockdown we hacked most days, but to do anything else was too much for me and she knew it and would have exploited my weakness. She was not mean, just a competition type who wanted to be out doing a job rather than being ridden half heartedly.

I had enough resilience left to realise that there is no point having a horse that no longer gives you joy, so sold her and bought little cob Rigsby. He is older and has a multitude of health issues. I actually said to people, who were astonished that I bought him, that I felt broken and had bought a horse who was also a bit broken, so we could get better together. Or, not get better, as I was prepared for him to simply be a companion if he didn't get fit enough to be a ridden horse.

He is fabulous, and yes, at the moment he is a great addition to my life. He loves to be ridden half heartedly or even just strolled round the lanes in hand. He is full of character, squeals with indignation if I don't do as he wishes, but somehow it is different. He is actually harder to keep that the posh sports horse, but simply makes me smile every day.

I have never been one to think that a horse 'has to' compete, however posh, but with Rigsby there is simply no pressure to ride, to compete (LOLs at the mere thought of him competing - at the moment at least) to do anything really.

I love how he is developing and changing. He is leaner, muscling up, learning to carry himself - so looks half a hand taller. We both think we are training the other

 

[luckyoldme]

You photo is lovely, it looks idyllic.

I am usually very resilient, but with mum's illness and subsequent death, my resilience has been eroded somewhat.

I found that with less resilience, and advancing age with creaky joints, that I wasn't enjoying my young sport horse any more. I still enjoyed getting out into the fresh air and doing chores, and over lockdown we hacked most days, but to do anything else was too much for me and she knew it and would have exploited my weakness. She was not mean, just a competition type who wanted to be out doing a job rather than being ridden half heartedly.

I had enough resilience left to realise that there is no point having a horse that no longer gives you joy, so sold her and bought little cob Rigsby. He is older and has a multitude of health issues. I actually said to people, who were astonished that I bought him, that I felt broken and had bought a horse who was also a bit broken, so we could get better together. Or, not get better, as I was prepared for him to simply be a companion if he didn't get fit enough to be a ridden horse.

He is fabulous, and yes, at the moment he is a great addition to my life. He loves to be ridden half heartedly or even just strolled round the lanes in hand. He is full of character, squeals with indignation if I don't do as he wishes, but somehow it is different. He is actually harder to keep that the posh sports horse, but simply makes me smile every day.

I have never been one to think that a horse 'has to' compete, however posh, but with Rigsby there is simply no pressure to ride, to compete (LOLs at the mere thought of him competing - at the moment at least) to do anything really.

I love how he is developing and changing. He is leaner, muscling up, learning to carry himself - so looks half a hand taller. We both think we are training the other

I love that story.
I saw his pictures too and he is very easy on the eye !

 

[Red-1]

I love that story.
I saw his pictures too and he is very easy on the eye !

He is lovely. But he is also an ar$e! In the nicest possible way. He likes things to be just as he likes things.

What is also nice is the mare that I sold is doing well in her new home. I had done some unaffiliated dressage every year, and she was schooling up to medium in lessons, plus I had done pole work/ small jumps ad infinitum, and had a pro compete her BS up to disco (with very little prep, but she was talented enough to just have a jump at home and go the next day) and I had also popped her through water, over a ditch, up steps etc....

But, it was still nice to see that, although I only sold her (to a junior) in September, they did get her to a late event and she was double clear. So, she and I are both sorted!

 

[Crazy_cat_lady]

Glad they have helped so many people

I am however another one who is made worse by them. The time, the cost and other things.
It's probably influenced by my having fallen out of love with horse ownership, however mine is unsellable so we will just continue plodding on, I will be walking away from horse ownership after him, unless I win the lottery and can buy my own land with stables.

Sometimes it's quite nice to go for a blast down the fields but the joy is definitely gone and I'm no longer the horse crazy little girl I was for so many years

 

[luckyoldme]

He is lovely. But he is also an ar$e! In the nicest possible way. He likes things to be just as he likes things.

What is also nice is the mare that I sold is doing well in her new home. I had done some unaffiliated dressage every year, and she was schooling up to medium in lessons, plus I had done pole work/ small jumps ad infinitum, and had a pro compete her BS up to disco (with very little prep, but she was talented enough to just have a jump at home and go the next day) and I had also popped her through water, over a ditch, up steps etc....

But, it was still nice to see that, although I only sold her (to a junior) in September, they did get her to a late event and she was double clear. So, she and I are both sorted!

I know that feeling too. my mare is living a life of pampered luxury and it has freed me up to do what I need to do for myself now.
All is well ,
At the end of the day it's about setting yourself up for the best chance to be happy.

 

[cauda equina]

Horses can be like an addiction though; even though you know you might be better off without them in many ways, they can be bl**dy hard to give up

 

[ycbm]

Horses can be like an addiction though; even though you know you might be better off without them in many ways, they can be bl**dy hard to give up

I think they actually are an addiction for some of us. I'm almost convinced they'll find a set of genes for it one day. It certainly seems to go with male pattern fingers - ring finger longer than index finger.
.

 

[Asha]

Sorry to hear you have had a tough time shysmum. Some people really can be wicked, i just dont understand the pack mentality on livery yards. Its one of the reasons we bought our own place. So many nutters who just want to make other peoples lives miserable.
My daughter was bullied terribly while at school, but the one thing that kept her going was her horse/pony at the time. when she started secondary school she made friends with a group of girls who asked to see her pony. So she invited them round, they had a fabulous day. Lunch in the fields, pony rides , grooming etc etc. Then after that it was awful. They excluded her from everything, stopped others making friends with her and told her that they knew where her pony was now so they would kill him. She would come home and go straight to the yard and everything seemed so much better for her there. Shes now a fun loving,kind hearted and generous young lady and that is purely down to having her horse/pony to cuddle/kiss and fall off. Theres something about the smell of horses that just seems to make the world right again

 

[HashRouge]

I think they actually are an addiction for some of us. I'm almost convinced they'll find a set of genes for it one day. It certainly seems to go with male pattern fingers - ring finger longer than index finger.
.

Haha that's so funny, they should do a study on it! My ring finger is significantly longer than my index finger so definitely holds true for me!

My horses are very good for my mental health. I have two adorable retirees - mine and my sister's childhood ponies - who are 17 and 28 and I just love going up and faffing round with them. I was up this morning before work to turn them out and even mucking out in the dark with a head torch is enjoyable! They are very low stress though - they are out 24/7 unless it's really wet (hence mucking out this morning) and the 17 year old in particular basically never needs anything doing. He is *touch wood frantically* never sick or sorry, doesn't wear a rug or get brushed, has the most basic feeds...but oh my goodness he is such a sweet, cuddly softie that I have refused to give him back to my sister and tell everyone he's mine now! And the 28 year old is doing amazingly for her age and is such a beautiful, funny thing. It lifts my heart to see her charging round the field like a 5 year old! She cracked me up yesterday when I brought them in - they come in in the dark so I tend to lead the gelding and leave her loose to bring herself in as she's so good...I'd just got the gelding in his stable but before I could close the door she'd come waltzing in behind him! Took some persuading to get her out and into her stable! We do have a minor battle with mud rash every year but we've got a pretty good management routine now and she is more or less scab free and still managing to stay out 24/7 most of the time, so it's not too stressful.

And then I ride a young Arab gelding a couple of times a week, and it's also great for my mental health and has definitely helped keep me sane this year! We just hack and he's so bouncy and fun we always have such a great time, and because it's hacking there is no pressure to "achieve" anything. And he's not mine, so I don't have that added stress/ responsibility.

I feel like I'm in a really good place with horses at the moment, where they only bring me joy and there are no negatives.

 

[milliepops]

addiction is the word for it. It's certainly something that is frequently damaging to my own mental health but I can't give it up. Most days I wonder what on earth I'm doing, especially at the moment - i thought last winter was bad, this year is worse. i have a friend who used to be like me, she did eventually quit after 30 years of total immersion. I asked her the other day if she would consider jumping back in, she said no. i can sort of understand that.

 

[J&S]

Loving, owning and riding horses/ponies has been like a safety chain holding my life together. There have been times from childhood through to late middle age when without them things could have gone a very different way. Now in my old age they are the incentive to keep as active, fit and well as possible so I can look after them. They have been a real godsend during the last year, a distraction from the chaos of the world around us, a consistancy when there has been so much change and a truly calming influence. I have owned my retiree for 21 years now and she has been a generous and willing companion, her predecessor was with me for 25 years and she for certain was a life saver. So, yes, in answer to the op's question, horses in my case, can help both mental and physical health.

 

[smolmaus]

I think they actually are an addiction for some of us. I'm almost convinced they'll find a set of genes for it one day. It certainly seems to go with male pattern fingers - ring finger longer than index finger.
.

I have seen "may have an obsession with horses and unicorns" in several articles about undiagnosed autism in women ? obviously I'm looking at articles such as those because I am convinced I am somewhere on that spectrum myself lol but hyperfixations can be a symptom of a lot of things, general anxiety, ADHD etc or you can just, really like horses. The science is not being done on this! ?

Well timed thread for me, this one. My Sundays volunteering at the yard have been incredibly beneficial for my mental health. And I am really missing my weekly lessons at the minute too, they are just a stress relief. I will leave the house for the yard tired, anxious, snappy and tense and come home sometimes 9 hours later a different person. Physically exhausted, shoulders aching, with new bruises and having been stood on and barged by rude little shitlands, can't feel my feet for cold and just happier.

I was/ am? 100% geared up to buy my first pony this year but the usual January slump and a very busy time in work has me wondering if I have the mental health resilience for ownership. I want to be sure that a pony waiting to be fed and turned out would get me out of bed on the days where I just want to be a slug and not make eye contact with a single living thing (of course it would, I'm not a monster) but there are niggling doubts creeping in. Would a random field injury be enough to make me have a complete breakdown? Or would it be a stabilising routine? Is having these doubts at all when ownership has been a goal for basically my whole life just another symptom of a broken brain? Maybe!

 

[ester]

Oh I'm also a bit less stressed being a bit less skint
I spent the money on having him with me at the time because I always knew it would be time limited (due to horse's age) so it was a bit of a do it while you can pay for it later situ.

 

[Annagain]

I'm lucky enough to be able to say I don't suffer with my mental health but horses are definitely my escape from the everyday strains and stresses. It's the one thing I do that I'm totally immersed in while I do it, totally in the moment. I never think about anything else when I'm riding. It's not just the riding though. As much as I hate that moment when the alarm goes off, those quiet moments at the yard as the horses are walking to the field and the sun is rising are just magical and set me up for the day. I could stand there watching them for hours. That little cwtch before I leave after tucking them up for bed on a rainy night and is also a moment I love as is them resting a head on my shoulder in field in the summer (Archie's favourite) and just standing there with them. As a teenager, any difficult situation would result in me running to my old boy to bury my head in his neck for good cry and I still do that - albeit far less often - now.

...Yes I've just checked and my ring finger is longer than my index finger! Although my mum rode as a kid and had a pony I think I get my love of horses from my paternal grandfather - he grew up on a farm and he and his brother used to do all the work with the horses, including breaking them in (just enough to ride them up the mountains to round up sheep, there wasn't a huge amount of training involved) even as young kids.

 

[proseccoandponies]

I have to agree it is a mix of both. My horses are absolutely my reason to get up on days where I would rather not face the world. They are my escape from worries and stresses at work and within other parts of life, and they are great listeners. I also think they have helped with my confidence and self-doubt.
On the other hand, when something goes wrong or they are poorly they can cause me a lot of worry and I can sometimes find it very difficult to deal with, and of course there is the financial worry that comes with horses.

 

[Scotsbadboy]

I suffer with mental health issues as well. I'd love to hide away in the country with very limited contact with the outside world and live off grid and a simpler life but I like the money a good job brings but not the pressure and exhaustion that it brings, not to mention the struggle mentally to keep my head above the water. Mostly its good though and even though im in such a pressured busy job getting a horse again has been a godsend. I rarely think of work outside of work now so he helps my sanity and so far he is just incredibly easy to have around.

Red-1 your post really struck a cord. I feel like me and my boy have found each other just when we both needed one another. He, being so stoic and mannerly ending up in a not so nice sales situation and me run ragged, anxious and feeling mostly broken, our worlds seem to have collided like fate and now we have each other. I have a feeling although he passed a vetting, he's broken and any distant dream i had of being competitive have gone because he just isnt that horse but im at peace with that because i have him and if it turns out he'll only ever be a happy hacker for life then im cool with that. He melts my heart and on the whole he saves my sanity. Obviously its not always rosy, horses rarely are straight forward but i just have this deep down feeling its gona work out and we will hopefully spend a long time together

 

[milliepops]

Oh I'm also a bit less stressed being a bit less skint
I spent the money on having him with me at the time because I always knew it would be time limited (due to horse's age) so it was a bit of a do it while you can pay for it later situ.

yeah, i have found that to be a time-limited option. or at least perhaps it should be. when you are approaching 40 and still taking the same approach.... you start to question it!! how long can i put off paying for it all ?!

 

[Errin Paddywack]

I think I must have inherited my love of horses from my great grandfather who worked with horses all his life, first I believe as a jockey, then in a hunt yard. Final job was with driving horses I think. He was a bit of a horse whisperer according to Gran and once got asked to take the Stratford Mail Coach through as the usual driver was ill. That was an eight horse team.
I can remember as child constructing a sort of horse from a step ladder opened out with a large square cushion strapped on top and a broom through it to act as the head. I was sat on that rocking it one day when it closed up, luckily fell against the house. First time I sat on a horse was our school fete in 1960. Been with horses ever since.

 

[milliepops]

I was/ am? 100% geared up to buy my first pony this year but the usual January slump and a very busy time in work has me wondering if I have the mental health resilience for ownership. I want to be sure that a pony waiting to be fed and turned out would get me out of bed on the days where I just want to be a slug and not make eye contact with a single living thing (of course it would, I'm not a monster) but there are niggling doubts creeping in. Would a random field injury be enough to make me have a complete breakdown? Or would it be a stabilising routine? Is having these doubts at all when ownership has been a goal for basically my whole life just another symptom of a broken brain? Maybe!

smolmaus.... what many have said is true. it's swings and roundabouts. it's basically down to luck really, whether you get more of the swings or more of the roundabouts (not sure which is which tbf).
the routine and rigour of having horses to deal with keeps me in some kind of equilibrium. i have to be up and out at sparrowfart, even on the days when I am cursing this it at least makes me pleased to return home afterwards. I get pleasure from seeing the sun rise, hearing the birds etc that I'd probably miss otherwise. same at the end of the day, I have WFH almost entirely for the last 9 years and it gives a defined end to the working day (even if I might end up doing more later) whereas it would otherwise be possible to just stay at the computer until dinnertime and beyond. but not when the horses need seeing to.

When things are going well, it's amazing. about 2 years ago i was on a huge high, i had the most amazing year of horsey things, it was awesome. of course, with experience, you know at the time it won't last forever which makes it all the sweeter. last 2 years (with the exception of birth of first homebred) have been utter complete pants, problem after problem, disappointment after disappointment, lots of uncertainty and doom and gloom. just have to keep plodding through it, keep watching the sun rise and keep enjoying the warm breath and smell of hay, and hope that things get better. Although in some ways I'd give it up tomorrow to spare myself the mental anguish of having a broken horse, on the other hand I can't imagine a time when i won't have them. very weird, what horses do to you.

 

[cauda equina]

I suffer with mental health issues as well. I'd love to hide away in the country with very limited contact with the outside world and live off grid and a simpler life but I like the money a good job brings but not the pressure and exhaustion that it brings, not to mention the struggle mentally to keep my head above the water. Mostly its good though and even though im in such a pressured busy job getting a horse again has been a godsend. I rarely think of work outside of work now so he helps my sanity and so far he is just incredibly easy to have around.

Red-1 your post really struck a cord. I feel like me and my boy have found each other just when we both needed one another. He, being so stoic and mannerly ending up in a not so nice sales situation and me run ragged, anxious and feeling mostly broken, our worlds seem to have collided like fate and now we have each other. I have a feeling although he passed a vetting, he's broken and any distant dream i had of being competitive have gone because he just isnt that horse but im at peace with that because i have him and if it turns out he'll only ever be a happy hacker for life then im cool with that. He melts my heart and on the whole he saves my sanity. Obviously its not always rosy, horses rarely are straight forward but i just have this deep down feeling its gona work out and we will hopefully spend a long time together

Having horses for who they are, rather than what they can do, is the best way imo
Even if you do end up with some very expensive pets

 

[Greylegs]

Absolutely my pony helps me stay sane and mentally adjusted in the toughest of times. But it's not just the horse .... it's the fellowship of the folks on the yard. So sorry to hear you had problems with follow liveries OP, but my lot are brilliant - supportive, friendly, kind and generous. No-one is doing much with their horses at the moment except removing mud and pottering about in the school, but were there for each other, thank goodness, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

[CanteringCarrot]

After reading this thread I think it's clear that I am not a horse person ? but I do casually have my horse for sale and won't buy another. It's really a main stressor in my life. Not sure how it could otherwise, tbh.

 

[ponyparty]

My horse saved my life when I was suffering with PND. I am not exaggerating. I owe him everything.

He also stressed the crap out of me with his various ailments and I don't think I'll ever get over what happened during his final months and how I lost him, but he was definitely my "medicine" in my darkest hours.

 

[NinjaPony]

Horses are so linked to my mental health. I’ve been addicted for as long as I can remember, and for the last 9 years have been so lucky to have had the perfect pony, and be able to ride, train, compete etc. Even when everything else in my life was awful, I always had the ponies. Now my ridden boy has gone, and it was 18 months of decline and despair. I’m probably the lowest I’ve been in a long time, don’t have the funds for another ridden horse so that whole part of my life has been snatched away and I miss both the riding, but mainly my boy, to the point where I am miserable. That said, my other little pony gives me a reason to get up in the morning. If I didn’t have him, I probably wouldn’t leave my bed at the moment. I’ll never give them up, and I know that the only way for me to truly feel better would be to get involved with another horse. Nothing gives my life purpose like having horses, and that’s why I feel so sad. Now my main pony has gone, I feel that my life’s purpose has dwindled again and I can’t yet see the brighter future. I’m going through the motions with my little pony, to make sure he is looked after and nothing changes for him, but I have to admit that some of the joy has gone. It’s very much a labour of love.

 

[Caol Ila]

Although in some ways I'd give it up tomorrow to spare myself the mental anguish of having a broken horse, on the other hand I can't imagine a time when i won't have them. very weird, what horses do to you.

I'm keeping myself going with dreams of the youngster I will buy when the time comes. A 3 or 4 year old, to back myself. Because I like punishment.

Basically, horses are like crack.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0269881108099672

 

[milliepops]

I'm keeping myself going with dreams of the youngster I will buy when the time comes. A 3 or 4 year old, to back myself. Because I like punishment.

Basically, horses are like crack.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0269881108099672

my 3yo to back this year is on 3 legs today! doing pus dance

 

[smolmaus]

smolmaus.... what many have said is true. it's swings and roundabouts. it's basically down to luck really, whether you get more of the swings or more of the roundabouts (not sure which is which tbf).

Isn't everything I suppose. I'm focusing all on the potential negatives right now which of course there are plenty but I think the regret from NOT taking the risk is maybe worse. Like this "keep watching the sun rise and keep enjoying the warm breath and smell of hay " is honestly making me teary. I see my friend who has a currently unbroken 3yo getting him gently backed now, think about the amazing future they could have together and I want to cry I'm so glad for the pair of them. I see the "broken" horses at the sanctuary, permanently unsound, traumatised, ancient or just babies and already abandoned and just seeing them pottering about with their mates, enjoying their dinner and a good bum scratch and it just makes me happy that they're happy.

I don't want kids, I'm not particularly career driven so the time and the energy is there, (hypothetically for someone without brain problems). I have a supportive partner and a Dad who could, if worst came to worst, help me out financially. And really what the heck else am I going to do? Spend every evening until I shuffle off the mortal coil watching Netflix? ?

(Thank you for providing a therapy outlet, thread, I'm having a lot of feelings)

 

[Shysmum]

Its lovely to read how much your ponies help you...especially since moving to france.
whereabout in france have you ended up? We’ve been looking at relocating internationally. France has been on the hotlist!

I love being around my horses, their ‘innocence’ of being i feel most attracted to...just being themselves...its why i love all animals really. They’re never self-conscious and have no social conditioning of what they should or shouldnt be, they just ‘be themselves’ very naturally, and i love the freedom of their personality in just being themselves...whether that be snoozy, or silly, or nippy cheeky, or broncing playing excitedly in the field.
Animals keep me sane in that sense of allowing freedom in my life as they truly accept me as i do them.

However, they also bring stress on a practical level in my life. I know if my set up was different i wouldnt stress so much about these parts of horse ownership, but it is how it is, and i have coped. I wish that i had loads more land, sunshine, and money for my horses and my life to be truly spectacular! ?

We are slap bang in the centre of France, in Creuse. Its beautiful, but you do feel isolated at times. But I have my own land and stables ?

 

[Shysmum]

What a lovely honest post. On the whole, my horses have been a huge help with my mental health and I miss having a horse at the moment. Even when things aren’t going right with them, just being in their company I find very soothing.

Your photo of you and Shy is beautiful - you both look so at peace with the world. I’m so glad you have found your happy place.

Thankyou ?