Most stupid horsey thing you've ever said, asked, done etc.!!!

ycbm

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My horse has a very thick mane and it falls on both sides of his neck so I thought it would be a good idea to pull out the half that fell to the left and then all his mane would all fall to the right. That worked until I got up to ride and was greeted by a long bald line. It was absolutely dreadful. Never do this, people!


I clipped off the underside of a very thick mane. Once.
 

SEL

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About 20 years ago i did a riding holiday in Andalusia with some friends - we were all in our 20s

One day we went to watch the white stallions at Jerez. A horse was being ridden outdoors and with an audience the rider was showing off. Came past us just as my friend said that horse has strange black things underneath him. Bit confused, none of us knew what she was talking about.

Into main show where (quite loudly!) she said - look, they've all got these strange black things under their bellies.

At which point we decided her sister could explain the difference between stallions and geldings and the rest of us would pretend we didn't know her....
 

3OldPonies

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I fell backwards off my mini Shetland - I was about 30 yrs old!! I was standing in front of his feed bucket looking at something behind him when he finished, ran forwards between my legs so I ended up on his back facing the wrong way. He was so shocked by the audacity of me daring to sit on his royal back that he scooted off and scraped me off on the gatepost.
 

Gleeful Imp

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I have 40 years of experience under my belt. Saddle fitting for my mare this week, was riding and wondering what on earth was happening with her bridle. I hadn’t done the throat latch up. And I still don’t know if it’s throatlash of throatlatch.
The amount of times I have taken rugs off my own horse and not undone the leg straps. I’ve very rarely had a rug without leg straps. I’m just a numpty.
 

june bartley

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With reference to Tiahatti tale of boggy gateways. My daughters fist Pony, kept in a field locally, she was spending her usual Saturday with him. I had a rather red faced and nervous lad turn up at my house to say my daughter had had an accident. I flew into action grabbing car keys expecting the worst, arrived to find my daughter in tears sitting on the bank with each foot in a Tesco bag! She had tried to leave the field by the muddiest gate ever the mud had sucked her wellies off, never to be seen again!!
 

Gloi

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Proving I'm not safe to be let loose.
I remember an incident from a Ponies of Britain show at Peterborough long ago. I was showing a colt who was a bit of an upstart so whenever I went in his stable I had to make sure I carefully blocked the door with my body and sent him back before going in. One time there were a bunch of blokes outside dealing with the horse next door and they were in the way. I was too shy back then to ask them to move so I thought, it'll be okay (fool!) and opened his door to go in. He took the chance and was out of the box like a bullet. For some reason I grabbed his tail as he ran past and was towed skiing down the line of boxes until some kind soul caught him :D
 

HorseyTee

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I've had a few silly moments.

I was rugging up a 17.2 gelding once, and as I leaned under his belly to grab the straps, I was basically c*ck slapped in the face by his giant appendage. Not my finest moment.

My partner decided to hop over the electric fence once...whilst wearing baggy jogging bottoms...his little fella dangled and touched the fence. He dropped like a sack of spuds.

I often forget to be upwind whilst popping on fly spray, so usually end up with it blowing straight back into my face.
 

frazzled

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Disclaimer this was told to me rather than me.
Mother and daughter were going to an event very early in the morning. Running a bit late so running around like headless chickens.
Arrive at said event with everything on board except the horse. Each thought the other had loaded him.
 

rabatsa

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Disclaimer this was told to me rather than me.
Mother and daughter were going to an event very early in the morning. Running a bit late so running around like headless chickens.
Arrive at said event with everything on board except the horse. Each thought the other had loaded him.
This has happened to me going to some hunter trials.
 

little_critter

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I've had a few silly moments.

I was rugging up a 17.2 gelding once, and as I leaned under his belly to grab the straps, I was basically c*ck slapped in the face by his giant appendage. Not my finest moment.

My partner decided to hop over the electric fence once...whilst wearing baggy jogging bottoms...his little fella dangled and touched the fence. He dropped like a sack of spuds.

I often forget to be upwind whilst popping on fly spray, so usually end up with it blowing straight back into my face.

I’m assuming they were jogging bottom shorts? Otherwise, wow! Lucky you!
 

Teajack

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Just remembered the time my pony was an inpatient having various scans and I proved to be a less than competent owner. Went to visit her and it was suggested that I take her out for a walk. If you let your attention wander for a nanosecond she was a little *** for pulling away. She hadn't done it for at least a year at that point, but I failed to concentrate and she was off. She hoolleyed round the vet school's extensive landscaped grounds, clods of manicured turf flying from her little feet for about half an hour before letting herself be caught. They were very nice about it - I was scared they might add the damage to the bill - but my face couldn't have been any redder.
 

Splash2310

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Once as a cocky riding school child I decided it would be a great idea to lie along the very small (bear in mind I’m very tall) and patient pony. Queue pony suddenly having very sensitive withers and doing a full body shake, and I end up on the floor with a sore bottom!
 

SOS

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Have done several of the mentioned posts... including crossing reins, taking rugs off without undoing straps and getting to the field and realising the horse is not attached to the rope!

At my first ‘real’ horse job the horses were lovely and they had an American barn set up which meant as you brought them in from the field you could unclip their lead ropes and they would take themselves into their stables. I was showing off to a friend at afternoon stables once and I unclipped them all as usual. They got about a stride away from their boxes when a box fell off a shelf at the other end of the barn. Suddenly 6 horses were galloping towards us!

Another is riding my first pony as a rather leggy (too tall) but skinny teenager. I was picking blackberries out of the hedge by the side of the road when he spooked and span. I was left with one leg on the ground and the other ankle hooked in the stirrup on the other side. Said pony then trotted off down the road with me hopping alongside!
 

Illusion100

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Stretched out forelimbs and as that horse was a general chilled dude, got lazy/complacent and held the foot over my knee instead of in front of it. One wayward kid kicking a football off a tin barn door during said stretch.....my kneecap dropped like a Black Friday discount
 

Remi'sMum

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Mucking out into a trug tub to then carry to the wheelbarrow in the doorway. Trug a bit full so stepped up onto it to squish it down, it toppled sideways as I stepped up onto it - unsuccessful comedy moment of arms cartwheeling trying to save myself. Hit the deck, fractured my elbow 🙄😂. Of course, everyone assumed my latest injury was sustained falling off the horse.... errr, no actually - falling off a bucket of shit.... 🙄
 

Broodle

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Love this thread! The clutz gene runs very strongly in me so I have loads of sorry tales, but my favourite recent one is from when I first bought my current horse. I gave him a big cuddle in his stable and at the same time he smelled some treats in my pocket and curled his neck around me, pretty much crushing my windpipe... I had a good 30 seconds or so of thinking that cuddling a horse would be a pretty rubbish way to die before I got free 😁
 

Berpisc

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Years ago now, tacked up etc, set off for a ride, it was a lovely day, I had loads of time, trundled down the village thinking happy thoughts, the breeze blowing gently through my was great too......................
Trotted back sheepishly to attach riding hat and set off again :rolleyes:
 

Red-1

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No one has mentioned this yet, but I can't be the only one...

Grab a rug to shake it out but forget yet again to ensure that the breast buckle is in your hand. Ouch.

Have also done the punch in the face when doing up a girth with freshly soaped girth straps. Fell off at halt in the show ring, horse shook and put its head down to eat.

Once I was mounting a 17hh horse from the floor, with one foot already in the stirrup, when he stood on the other foot. I am convinced it was deliberate as he had form for treading quite deliberately on feet, just never quite in this situation before. If you think it is difficult to remove a horse from your foot, you try it with the other foot in the stirrup, where the horse has moved so close that you can't retrieve the be-stirruped foot for love nor money. Happily there was someone else on the yard.

Same horse had a contractor in the field, strimming round the river. He shoved said contractor into the river and ran off with the (still working) strimmer. It was only on idle but it was a petrol one so not ideal. Same horse would try to mount the poo hoover whilst it was in use. Same horse would allow people into the stable but not out again. Good ol' Dennis the Menace.
 

gostelr

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So I was taking private riding lessons after a 30 year break from ponies. I was allocated the usual riding school dobbin. My instructor would ride her magnificent prancing dressage diva that was renowned throughout the barn for having the sensitivity & features of a hand grenade with the pin pulled most of the way out.

Dobbin went lame half way through one lesson & my instructor insisted I had to complete my hour on her beast.

I should just say that my full seat pants that day were a little snug & movement limiting.

But I bravely led the beast to the mounting block, clambered up, swung my leg with commitment & enthusiasm...and kicked him squarely in his perfectly sculpted black arse.

For anyone who thinks horses have a limited range of emotions I would like to confirm that one they do feel is unbridled disgust based on the look he transfixed me with. His lip even curled. Oddly, I have never been invited to get on that horse ever again.
 

SatansLittleHelper

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Oooh I have a couple....

I was at work talking to a colleague years ago about the horse I was riding and somehow the conversation turned to how tall he was...as we walked into the staff room I stated very confidently that I was riding him a little stronger to ride as he was several inches bigger than I was used to...just as we discovered the staff room was being used for an area managers meeting. My then boyfriend was subjected to many Pat's on the back and sniggers when he came to pick me up 🙈🙈🙈

When I first started helping out at a local stables I was asked to fetch in the bay gelding from the field on the left as he was being clipped and hogged for hunting. Left and right has never been a strong point of mine...and there were several bay geldings. Fetching the one in that I believed it was to a bloke who was clipping several clients horses. He gave me a funny look but did the job anyway. I had been told to rug and stable once the job was done. About an hour later I heard the scream from the owner of the ex racer as she almost had a breakdown upon viewing her horse. Luckily for me she did (eventually) see the funny side of it 😱😱😱😱
 

Tonto_

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Bringing this back as some of these are so funny!

I've only done the classics (so far...)

Forgot to tighten the girth (on a hard to mount pony) ended up with me in a heap on the floor, saddle under his belly and him looking very pleased with himself!

Untacked after riding, put head collar on but didn't attach the lead rope!came back from the tack room and he was still in the same place!

Tied one horse up on the yard while I rode the other (arena is accessed from the yard) obviously I hadn't tied him up as half way through my ride he stuck his head over the arena fence! Thankfully it was a secure yard!
 

FFAQ

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Haha! I've done most of these and more! Including
Mounting from a gate and realising mid-spring that it wasn't done up. I went straight over the horse and out the side door!
Forgot to take my feet out of the stirrups when dismounting- that was a really special one!
Terrible haircuts all the time
Constantly bashing myself
Mounting in my first side saddle lesson and somehow ended up sitting on the horse's bum behind the saddle
And way more besides!
 

Jules111

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I love this thread. No wonder this is a danger sport...

I once dismounted without unclipping my air jacket, realised in mid air and landed on the very tippiest part of my tip toes to just about avoid the air jacket going off and horse running away. Thankfully somebody was there to rescue me.

I've caused my children many injuries, its a wonder I haven't had a visit from social services. Hit my daughter in the face with a leadrope, lifted her leg to tighten her girth a little too vigorously and pushed her over the side of the pony, helping her mount from the mounting block I led the pony a little too close to the block and knocked her flying. She still loves ponies, not so sure she's keen on me helping her though ;)
 

cindars

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Riding my deceased Arab mare only just purchased a few days before up a steep track to get to downs realised saddle was going further and further back had to turn round and ride back down and the saddle slipped back into place hastily tightened girth at bottom. Falling off in a gateway used by cows at least two miles back to yard have never felt so uncomfortable not helped by friend urging me to trot.
 

ycbm

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I had a horse who could be relied on to pee as soon as he got into the lorry, so I used to catch it in a bucket and throw it on the ground. One day I threw it out of the lorry ...straight over the friend who had been walking up to talk to me.

She did forgive me, eventually 🤣.

.
 

Lacuna

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Dumbest thing - asked by friend to fetch his horse in for him when we were hacking out. I knew the horse in question, brown thoroughbred but hadn't seen it for several months. Went into the right field where the geldings were and there were three brown TBs all looking at me. I could rule on out on lack of white on the noggin but had to plump for the one I though most likely - wandered back to the yard with him. Of course it was the wrong one so had to go swap him over.

As we were leaving the yard I spotted the same horse coming in with his owner. Poor fellow looked very confused.
 

Sasana Skye

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This happened quite recently. I took my young horse to her first XC schooling session to a venue that also had dressage going on that day.
I was all on my own and had said horse tied to the twine on the trailer and was mid-way through tacking up, grabbing my body protector, hat and whip out the boot of the car and changing my boots, making sure I had my medical armband secured just in case...walked to the back of the trailer to grab the horse to put her bridle on and she wasn't there...then I saw her far away in the distance being brought back to me by a steward after breaking free from the trailer and running around outside the dressage arena....I had absolutely no idea, I didn't hear anything :eek:

Very, very sorry if it was anyone on here trying to do a dressage test with my idiot 5yo prancing around you.
 
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