my daughter had a very bad accident, broken femurs.. help please

[KittenInTheTree]

I actually started out on horses, rather than ponies. It happens. As Auslander said, young bones are better at healing, and Faracat is right regarding the neurological side of things. The best thing you can do now OP is stay up to speed with what the hospital is doing, and take things as they come. Take the visiting in shifts with your husband, as that way you can both try to get some rest in between, which will help keep you able to function. Don't forget to eat and drink - bottled water and bananas are good bedside vigil food, in my experience. Best wishes to you and your child.

 

[LinzyD]

It's Christmas. Believe the best in people. The worst that can happen is that it's a bit of time wasted.

I know that in the UK we might be a bit shocked at the notion of a 10 year-old moving on to horses, as opposed to having the odd sit on a big horse, because we have an abundance of talented ponies and small horses at all levels and in all disciplines in this country, and the usual age of transition is around 16 or 18, in line with age rules for the discipline, but in mainland Europe it's not at all unusual for children to be riding big horses from a young age. Whether we think that's desirable or not is irrelevant here; it's completely normal there, in part due to the dearth of pony breeds suitable for anything other than treking or leisure riding. From what I've seen almost every child is, compared to what we see in the UK, 'overhorsed': from 4 year-olds on 14h Haflingers upwards. Yes, there are the elite warmblood sports ponies, but I'd say that generally they measure smaller than they would measure here, so it's quite conceivable that a tall child would move on to horses sooner, and then there are few small performance horses because they tend to be bred for size in addition to performance. Try to see it in the context of not everywhere being like it is in the UK.

OP - There is every reason to be optimistic. The human body is an amazing thing and its capacity to heal is quite incredible, especially in young people. Look after yourself, get as much information as you can about the various injuries, and expect the recovery to take time, but keep faith that it will happen. Your daughter will need you to stay strong and be her rock throughout her recovery. How is your husband feeling? You are in this together and need to do your best to support each other, without any blame. It would be worth finding out whether the hospital has any kind of counselling service; it might be really helpful to you in coping with the shock and the feelings of guilt. Please find out about that and make use of it if it's available. You and your husband need support so that you can support your daughter, and sometimes it's best when that comes from a professional. Wishing you all the very best.

 

[ycbm]

Chyrti, I would love to offer you my genuine concern and support, so can you help me here?

Unless you are in Myanmar or Liberia. I don't understand how you can be not fluent in English and feel the need to apologise for it, and then quote show jumps in feet and inches.

It is decades since show jumps were described as anything but metric. If you've been in the UK long enough to think of show jumps in feet and inches, then I would have thought you'd also be confidently fluent in English by now.

Please forgive me if this upsets you. I would like nothing better than to offer you support and ask you to update us on your daughter's progress. But we do get some horrible people on this forum who find it fun to upset others Right now I can't be sure that you aren't one of them.

I understand that you probably have better things to do, but can you please help me out here?

 

[HashRouge]

Chyrti, I would love to offer you my genuine concern and support, so can you help me here?

Unless you are in Myanmar or Liberia. I don't understand how you can be not fluent in English and feel the need to apologise for it, and then quote show jumps in feet and inches.

It is decades since show jumps were described as anything but metric. If you've been in the UK long enough to think of show jumps in feet and inches, then I would have thought you'd also be confidently fluent in English by now.

Please forgive me if this upsets you. I would like nothing better than to offer you support and ask you to update us on your daughter's progress. But we do get some horrible people on this forum who find it fun to upset others Right now I can't be sure that you aren't one of them.

I understand that you probably have better things to do, but can you please help me out here?

No comment on whether or not the OP is genuine, but they never claimed to be in the UK. They may be in the US, which would explain the feet and inches measurements.

 

[Auslander]

Chyrti, I would love to offer you my genuine concern and support, so can you help me here?

Unless you are in Myanmar or Liberia. I don't understand how you can be not fluent in English and feel the need to apologise for it, and then quote show jumps in feet and inches.

It is decades since show jumps were described as anything but metric. If you've been in the UK long enough to think of show jumps in feet and inches, then I would have thought you'd also be confidently fluent in English by now.

Please forgive me if this upsets you. I would like nothing better than to offer you support and ask you to update us on your daughter's progress. But we do get some horrible people on this forum who find it fun to upset others Right now I can't be sure that you aren't one of them.

I understand that you probably have better things to do, but can you please help me out here?

Maybe it was because the OP is aware that the Brits still use imperial measurements rather a lot, and thought it was the way we describe fence height? My Dutch and German friends never fail to make jokes about the Brits and pints/hands/feet and inches!

 

[ycbm]

No comment on whether or not the OP is genuine, but they never claimed to be in the UK. They may be in the US, which would explain the feet and inches measurements.

They said their English was poor. So are they Hispanic showjumpers who don't speak much English when they are out and about?

Shall we wait for Chyrti to answer the question?

 

[ycbm]

Maybe it was because the OP is aware that the Brits still use imperial measurements rather a lot, and thought it was the way we describe fence height? My Dutch and German friends never fail to make jokes about the Brits and pints/hands/feet and inches!

They are a pair of show jumpers with a show jumping child, with multiple horses. Week in week out they are going to competitions jumping courses described in metric. Feet and inches haven't been used in this country for serious showjumping for decades. Unless they are potentially Spanish speaking Americans, which is about the only way they could have poor English (America having a very big Spanish speaking population) yet refer to feet and inches.

And being a Hispanic American they search around and find a British forum to make their first posting on?

Please Chyrti, convince me you are for real. For the sake of the child, I hope you aren't.

 

[HashRouge]

They said their English was poor. So are they Hispanic showjumpers who don't speak much English when they are out and about?

Shall we wait for Chyrti to answer the question?

They are a pair of show jumpers with a show jumping child, with multiple horses. Week in week out they are going to competitions jumping courses described in metric. Feet and inches haven't been used in this country for serious showjumping for decades. Unless they are potentially Spanish speaking Americans, which is about the only way they could have poor English (America having a very big Spanish speaking population) yet refer to feet and inches.

And being a Hispanic American they search around and find a British forum to make their first posting on?

Please Chyrti, convince me you are for real. For the sake of the child, I hope you aren't.

Again, assuming the poster is genuine, I don't understand why you think they have to be hispanic? Other foreign people live in the USA, you know. They could be from literally anywhere, but living and competing in the US (and thus use feet and inches in competition). Or they could live elsewhere but assume that we use feet and inches here. Or they could be a troll. Who knows.

 

[attheponies]

I was on to horses at the age of 11, and yes, jumping about 1m.
I hope some of you feel ashamed of yourselves. Compassion costs nothing and your posts say an awful lot more about you than they do about the OP.

Totally agree, this is why I have virtually given up on this forum My heart goes out to the OP and wish her daughter a full and speedy recovery.

 

[honetpot]

FFS
I am with Thumper on this, 'if you carn't say sumthing nice don't say anything at all'

One of my favourite video's, yep its that old, from a series covered polo. It showed Argentinian children with polo mallets that where all most as long as they were tall playing polo on polo ponies their legs hardly coming to end of the stock saddle. Magical.Just because you have never seen it doesn't mean it can not happen

 

[popsdosh]

They are a pair of show jumpers with a show jumping child, with multiple horses. Week in week out they are going to competitions jumping courses described in metric. Feet and inches haven't been used in this country for serious showjumping for decades. Unless they are potentially Spanish speaking Americans, which is about the only way they could have poor English (America having a very big Spanish speaking population) yet refer to feet and inches.

And being a Hispanic American they search around and find a British forum to make their first posting on?

Please Chyrti, convince me you are for real. For the sake of the child, I hope you aren't.

The Americans have been using metric for SJ for some time now as we do here

 

[risky business]

Lets be honest if the OP was a troll they got exactly what they came for didn't they... Everyone having a bicker about something or another.

Hope your daughter recovers OP, shes young they bounce back surprisingly well. Dont beat yourself up horses are unpredictable.

 

[ycbm]

Again, assuming the poster is genuine, I don't understand why you think they have to be hispanic? Other foreign people live in the USA, you know. They could be from literally anywhere, but living and competing in the US (and thus use feet and inches in competition). Or they could live elsewhere but assume that we use feet and inches here. Or they could be a troll. Who knows.

I asked the OP a polite question and other people have chosen to query it, adding to any upset that my post might have caused if the OP is genuine. I am now going to wait for the OP to answer.

 

[MDB]

I think sometimes it is easy to forget that the horse world can be very different in other countries compared to the UK. What may be considered bizarre and unrealistic in the UK can be quite normal abroad.

I would like to wish the OP's daughter a speedy recovery. Take one day at a time. It sounds like she has extensive injuries but she is young, she is in the best place, and surely receiving the treatment she needs. It is really impossible for anybody on here to give you anything other than sympathy and support. You probably need to have a sit down meeting with her surgeon or consultant in charge of her care so they can answer all your questions. Write a list of things to ask before you go in so you don't forget, and write things down as you go along because lots of info at once can be overwhelming. Best of luck.

 

[RaposadeGengibre]

Again, assuming the poster is genuine, I don't understand why you think they have to be hispanic? Other foreign people live in the USA, you know. They could be from literally anywhere, but living and competing in the US (and thus use feet and inches in competition). Or they could live elsewhere but assume that we use feet and inches here. Or they could be a troll. Who knows.

Foreign people living in USA, UK or Timbuktu would go to expats forums in USA, UK or Timbuktu as its much easier to express feelings and worries.
Just saying...

 

[Fidgety]

They said their English was poor. So are they Hispanic showjumpers who don't speak much English when they are out and about?

Shall we wait for Chyrti to answer the question?

Carrière is French for career.

I broke my ankle once, and one vertebrae, but I never had such a big accident in all my carrier

I really hope someone is going to help me here to find answers to how to handle the situation and how is going to be the future for us...

Most parents would be asking these questions of the surgeon, and not asking as a debut post on a forum.

I am a parent of a child who suffered horrific injuries in an accident and I was a lurker of this forum of the time, but my first instinct wasn't to come running here, but to watch over my daughter as she went through the recovery process.

 

[Chyrti]

Hello everyone,
Thank you so much for all your messages, you all took the time to answer and it truly means a lot to me. Every day when I wake up I wish this wasn't happening, I wish I was a troll here... But my daughter is not in her room, she is not at the stables, she is not in the house. She really is in the hospital... I'm so sorry to hear that you have problems with people lying on this website, and I can't show you any proof of what I am facing, I don't know how I can do that... I'm a mess right now, I'm just freacking out since the accident, not knowing what to do: surgeons and doctors are really busy, and I can see my little girl 2 to 3 hours a day because the hospital doesn't allow more visits: just family, and not for too long. Next surgery is huge and after this surgery, and only after, we are going to know a little bit more about what the future holds for us and for her and I am so afraid about it: High risks with her vertebrea fractures, really difficult because the only thing that I can do for her is waiting, let the surgeons do their job... You are right, coming here for support maybe wasn't the best idea but I'm so bad with living this situation, that I keep making bad decisions... I can't really answer to you all but I cant say that the horse is OK, and that my husband knew my daughter was riding this horse: It was the only horse that I was trusting, and she was asking if she can ride him for years now, she wasn't juming with him or anything, I really tried to keep her safe. With the fact that she is moving to horses, for jumping and competitions I was going to search a small horse, and she is moving because she is really tall. My foreign language is French. I'm reading and not responding because I don't always have the time and with all the "trolls " comments, I didn't really knew what to respond. I don't understand how people can lie about such a big accident, that's very disrespectful for those that are in need of support and it makes it difficult for you all to know if I am lying or not... Anyway, I really don't know what I should do now, but one more time I apologize for the bad English today.
If someone know something about injuries that my daughter have, or informations that can help us with helping our injured daughter, my wonderful coach that is really shocked with the accident, or even with how to do with the horse that I love the most, that I can't look in the eyes anymore, and that I really can't ride right know, even if it makes sense to forgive him, I can't...

 

[Dave's Mam]

You must be so stressed OP, & I understand you reaching out for support. Speak to the surgeons. I hope your daughter makes a speedy recovery. If it is of any use to help, I broke my arm very severely & near to an artery at age 11. I am 45 now. I still have some aches & my left elbow doesn't bend properly, but I am generally fine.

Good Luck & Love to your little girl.

 

[poiuytrewq]

You can only visit for a few hours a day?!! I thought in ICU children especially can have a parent at all times 24/7
Awful.

 

[Fiona]

Will be thinking of you over Christmas OP... Hugs x x

Look after yourself too x

Fiona

 

[Asha]

As a mum, no matter what happens or why it happens you will always blame yourself. Awful situation to be in, and my heart goes out to you.
My daughter has broken several bones, including her back through riding accidents, and I blame myself for everyone of them.
I bought the pony, I suggested she got on, I knew she shouldn't have ridden in the wind, you name it, I thought of it.

Try and be kind to yourself, your daughter is going to need you to be strong, and to help her get better. Which, with the aid of the doctors, I hope she will.

Take care x

 

[PeterNatt]

I feel very much for you and hope that your daughter makes a steady and full recovery.

 

[KrujaaLass]

I feel your pain. Twenty years ago my daughter was in a fatal car crash, where her friend died. She broke several bones, she is now 38 and has no ill effects. If it makes you feel better we let her daughter, my granddaughter, aged 10, jump our 16 hand thorobred, ex racer. No height just small jumps . I hope the next op goes well for you and she makes a good recovery.

 

[ycbm]

You can only visit for a few hours a day?!! I thought in ICU children especially can have a parent at all times 24/7
Awful.

This

Chyrti, this is the visiting policy at my local Children's hospital, where they say that the presence of the family is crucial to recovery for a child. Parents can sleep with the child in ICU overnight.

Perhaps take this and address with the hospital that your daughter is in why your visiting hours are so restricted.

http://www.alderhey.nhs.uk/departments/intensive-care-unit/

Children heal well. I'm sure that your daughter will be back to jumping four foot fences in no time.

 

[rachk89]

Love how people think 10 is too young to move onto horses. I rode horses probably from the age of 9 as I was 5'3 by that point. Not as skilled but still riding horses. Also I remember a video of a young boy riding a horse way too big for him but jumping fences at least a metre high. Can't claim that as trolling.

If its true which its looking like it is then i hope the child recovers which she will. Kids mend easily and quickly.

 

[Flicker]

Carrière is French for career.



Most parents would be asking these questions of the surgeon, and not asking as a debut post on a forum.

I am a parent of a child who suffered horrific injuries in an accident and I was a lurker of this forum of the time, but my first instinct wasn't to come running here, but to watch over my daughter as she went through the recovery process.

Different people deal with things in different ways. Just because you did something a certain way doesn't mean that's how everyone should do it. How would you have felt if the way you dealt with your daughter's injury was judged by a stranger on an Internet forum, at the very time you needed support?

 

[Dave's Mam]

Sitting on your own, worried to your wits' end. Perhaps no one else awake to speak to. Why not seek solace in a forum of possibly like minded people?

 

[GirlFriday]

Sitting on your own, worried to your wits' end. Perhaps no one else awake to speak to. Why not seek solace in a forum of possibly like minded people?

Yeah - except everyone else is right - no ICU would be excluding the parents like that. Load of cr*p sounding post the first time and the second pops the nail in the coffin (not of the fictional daughter). As a parent I find this kind of trolling particularly offensive.

 

[Ladyinred]

This is a strange forum. So judgmental and quick to shout troll one minute and the next offering all the support in the world to a total stranger.

Be kind people, it may well be a true post. Who knows. It doesn't hurt to show a little compassion sometimes.. if you feel this poster is a troll then ignore the thread rather than risk upsetting someone in such a horrific situation.

 

[Dave's Mam]

This is a strange forum. So judgmental and quick to shout troll one minute and the next offering all the support in the world to a total stranger.

Be kind people, it may well be a true post. Who knows. It doesn't hurt to show a little compassion sometimes.. if you feel this poster is a troll then ignore the thread rather than risk upsetting someone in such a horrific situation.

Spot on.