JJS
Well-Known Member
Cat admitted it, but insists Tim's big sister Alice, offered jumbo packs of prawns as a bribe.
Makes sense!
My next equine project horse
- Thread starter AdorableAlice
- Start date
Makes sense!
AdorableAlice
Well-Known Member
The cat would make a lovely pair of gloves, Alice is regularly thrashed, normally after I have lodged an entry for something and she throws a sickie. We have decided to stop telling her what is in her diary.
ycbm
Einstein would be proud of my Insanity...
Annagain
Well-Known Member
Two horses on our yard recently got the chest clips of their rugs stuck in the fence (leaning over for the greener grass) within a week or so of each other. Said fence is the only small stretch of 7 acre field that hasn't yet been replaced. My friend's youngster waited patiently to be freed, possibly for quite a few hours and had a nibble at the greener grass while he waited. No stress or hassle. My 22 year old took three fence posts out and broke his rug
Beausmate
Well-Known Member
I don't think Alice had anything to do with it......
AdorableAlice
Well-Known Member
Ted has an alibi, he was in the bath having his hair washed. Plus Alice has a motive, her baby brother is a tin ribs and is in the paddock of plentiful paradise. She is in trashville waiting for a weed to grow. She reckons if Tim could be disposed of she will get to go into grass paradise to stuff until she goes pop.
ycbm
Einstein would be proud of my Insanity...
What would be have done if you'd tried that when he was two or three?!?
AdorableAlice
Well-Known Member
Not a hope. I could barely use a body brush on him and that was if I could get a head collar on him. Your comment is another reminder of how far he has come, just wish he would trust humans in general instead of just us.
Best go and get him in, he eats all night and sleeps all day. Blissful little life !
Best go and get him in, he eats all night and sleeps all day. Blissful little life !
AdorableAlice
Well-Known Member
Lock your stables, the furry twit is looking for a new home - again. He is a troubled boy, he has a limp and had to have his legs shaved. Thankfully his lovely vet is still in one piece after risking life and limb sticking pins in Teds ankles. Ted was remarkably good having the blocks and I was mightily relieved because it was something I was worried about, an upset and frightened Ted is not a great situation given his size and I didn't relish the prospect of scraping the vet off the yard floor !
Now his size is an issue and this evening he suffered huge embarrassment in front of his friends. We are all on slimming world and the weigh tape made an appearance. His girlfriend Adorable Alice is extremely svelte and fit at the moment, the slimmest she has ever been in fact and even Ted can not call her Fat Bird anymore. The pocket rocket cob just fitted into the tape at 700kg, she maintains she has heavy bones and Dim Tim was 600kg. Despite breathing in the tape ends did not meet on Ted and no amount of me pulling the tape or even suggesting he lay down and squashed his belly into the tape could get the ends to meet. Alice called him some dreadful names, where she learnt that sort of language is anyone's guess. Ted maintains it is all wind and Alice reminded him that is the reason she has dumped him so many times in the past.
The poor chap is distraught, he has two shaved front legs and 2 furry back ones, his clothes don't fit, his girlfriend has dumped him, he has a limp and fears his jaws are about to be wired together. If he turns up please don't feed him, but if you could shave his back legs that would be great, best if you have life insurance before you start though.
His weight wasn't helped by the enormous slice of birthday cake he scoffed yesterday when Team AA celebrated a very special birthday. My gorgeous horse of a lifetime was 25 yesterday. Getting him through this awful winter has been tough and just a month ago we were facing a possible goodbye. I am so fortunate to have a wonderful vet and a supportive husband.
Happy birthday to my superstar, hopefully he will enjoy a nice summer.
Now his size is an issue and this evening he suffered huge embarrassment in front of his friends. We are all on slimming world and the weigh tape made an appearance. His girlfriend Adorable Alice is extremely svelte and fit at the moment, the slimmest she has ever been in fact and even Ted can not call her Fat Bird anymore. The pocket rocket cob just fitted into the tape at 700kg, she maintains she has heavy bones and Dim Tim was 600kg. Despite breathing in the tape ends did not meet on Ted and no amount of me pulling the tape or even suggesting he lay down and squashed his belly into the tape could get the ends to meet. Alice called him some dreadful names, where she learnt that sort of language is anyone's guess. Ted maintains it is all wind and Alice reminded him that is the reason she has dumped him so many times in the past.
The poor chap is distraught, he has two shaved front legs and 2 furry back ones, his clothes don't fit, his girlfriend has dumped him, he has a limp and fears his jaws are about to be wired together. If he turns up please don't feed him, but if you could shave his back legs that would be great, best if you have life insurance before you start though.
His weight wasn't helped by the enormous slice of birthday cake he scoffed yesterday when Team AA celebrated a very special birthday. My gorgeous horse of a lifetime was 25 yesterday. Getting him through this awful winter has been tough and just a month ago we were facing a possible goodbye. I am so fortunate to have a wonderful vet and a supportive husband.
Happy birthday to my superstar, hopefully he will enjoy a nice summer.
Adopter
Well-Known Member
Life never seems to be dull at Team AA. Happy Birthday and enjoy your summer to the superstar. Hope Ted is recovered and sound and up to outings again soon.
sky1000
Well-Known Member
Happy birthday to your beautiful horse
be positive
Well-Known Member
The old boy is looking fab, pleased Alice is slimmer than normal but where are the photos of Ted I think we need proof he has legs without feathers, a bit worrying he cannot fit into the tape though.
splashgirl45
Lurcher lover
the superstar is looking fab, hope ted gets well soon and can strut his staff....
chaps89
Well-Known Member
Your old boy is looking fab, especially for a horse you say a month ago it was all looking bleak for.
Ted has come such a long way although fingers crossed his lameness is nothing too worrisome. Is it Martha who weighed in at 700kg?!
All of your horses are such a credit to you - now may I send another fat cob to join your gang on slimming world please? She doesnt know any rude words but I suspect she might be the type to hog the pillow somewhat...
Ted has come such a long way although fingers crossed his lameness is nothing too worrisome. Is it Martha who weighed in at 700kg?!
All of your horses are such a credit to you - now may I send another fat cob to join your gang on slimming world please? She doesnt know any rude words but I suspect she might be the type to hog the pillow somewhat...
D66
Well-Known Member
You'll have to tie two tapes together.
AdorableAlice
Well-Known Member
You'll have to tie two tapes together.
That is exactly what my husband suggested.
AdorableAlice
Well-Known Member
Dear Ted,
Your devoted and dedicated owner got up at 4.30am this morning to tend to you. You are suffering in the heat and last night appeared distressed. Because you are special (needs), loved, cherished and worth it, the least you could have done was to STAND xxxxkxxx still, after all you have been clipped before - have you had brain fade ? Your coat was filthy and thicker than a Yak's, do you have some hidden parentage you would like to divulge ? Yes, you are taller than me - a lot, and NO, there was no need to hurtle me off my box like you did, RUDE Ted, very rude and I don't bounce, especially not off the walls.
It is your own fault that you have half your face clipped, you have enormous fluffy pants and as for under your arms, well Julia Roberts eat your heart out. I am very sorry about the nick in your crinkly bits - did I mention STAND STILL ?
Your devoted, actually make that deluded owner, is now exhausted, already on the chocolate and Monster energy drink, crumpled behind her desk. You, the great furry fool will be spark out snoring no doubt. I think it is me that is bonkers not him.
Love
Mummy.
Your devoted and dedicated owner got up at 4.30am this morning to tend to you. You are suffering in the heat and last night appeared distressed. Because you are special (needs), loved, cherished and worth it, the least you could have done was to STAND xxxxkxxx still, after all you have been clipped before - have you had brain fade ? Your coat was filthy and thicker than a Yak's, do you have some hidden parentage you would like to divulge ? Yes, you are taller than me - a lot, and NO, there was no need to hurtle me off my box like you did, RUDE Ted, very rude and I don't bounce, especially not off the walls.
It is your own fault that you have half your face clipped, you have enormous fluffy pants and as for under your arms, well Julia Roberts eat your heart out. I am very sorry about the nick in your crinkly bits - did I mention STAND STILL ?
Your devoted, actually make that deluded owner, is now exhausted, already on the chocolate and Monster energy drink, crumpled behind her desk. You, the great furry fool will be spark out snoring no doubt. I think it is me that is bonkers not him.
Love
Mummy.
Adopter
Well-Known Member
Ted is very lucky, hope he feels cooler now. I suggest iced chocolate by the pint for his owner to help with revival.
swilliam
Well-Known Member
I tried to read this aloud to my husband but could not see or articulate clearly because I was crying with laughter.
Annagain
Well-Known Member
Does the weigh tape fit round now he's lost those extra inches of coat?
AdorableAlice
Well-Known Member
Does the weigh tape fit round now he's lost those extra inches of coat?
Nearly ! he has lost some inches since he got put back in the winter wrecked field. He does a lot of walking around waiting for a blade of grass to appear between the endless docks and I managed to crush him into a fly sheet. He can't actually move or breath and if he farts it will disintegrate into a million pieces, but he is, or was the last time I looked, still in it.
I suppose I will have to buy him a fly sheet from the big horse shop. Alice will torment him over having to shop in the outsize department now she can wear slinky numbers instead of small tents.
ycbm
Einstein would be proud of my Insanity...
DabDab
Ah mud, splendid
Oh Ted.... :rolleyes3:
splashgirl45
Lurcher lover
bless him!!!!!!! and poor mummy, she needs a stiff drink and lots of chocolate!!!!!
Shooting Star
Well-Known Member
Bad Teddy
Thought for a moment youd performed the ultimate punishment and put him up for sale in that Ad over there ->>>
... sports direct are selling off the last of their Weatherbeeta wide neck fly rugs if hes not totally in the dog house
Thought for a moment youd performed the ultimate punishment and put him up for sale in that Ad over there ->>>
... sports direct are selling off the last of their Weatherbeeta wide neck fly rugs if hes not totally in the dog house
AdorableAlice
Well-Known Member
Bad Teddy
Thought for a moment you’d performed the ultimate punishment and put him up for sale in that Ad over there —-—>>>
... sports direct are selling off the last of their Weatherbeeta wide neck fly rugs if he’s not totally in the dog house
I just noticed that add, 18 hands, imagine the feed costs ! I shall have a look at Weatherbeeta's, thank you.
Shooting Star
Well-Known Member
I was more scared that he was recently backed at 10!
Not sure the photos of the Weatherbeeta rugs they use are the actual wide ones, I’ve got a couple and you could fit two standard horses in the neck cover part it’s so deep, they are pretty generous.
The chest is definitely wider than any other normal brand that I’ve tried but a bit smaller than big horse shop, the WB ones don’t have the rustly plasticy lining of the neck & shoulders of the big horse shop one I tried though - was too scared to use it in case of causing an explosion!!
AdorableAlice
Well-Known Member
Dear Husband,
Please pop Martha's headcollar on and tie her up for a moment.
WTF.......well its on her, you didn't say where you wanted it.
Please pop Martha's headcollar on and tie her up for a moment.
WTF.......well its on her, you didn't say where you wanted it.
DabDab
Ah mud, splendid
:lol: :lol: that's the sort of thing my OH does
JJS
Well-Known Member
Is that lovely smart pony in the background Adorable Alice herself?