My next equine project horse

[teacups]

Ted has a secret life as the Incredible Hulk?

 

[AdorableAlice]

Ted has a secret life as the Incredible Hulk?

Looks like it ! I just cannot see how he managed to rip it on the top, it is (was !) a very robust rug. Dim Tim might have grabbed it and hung on to start a rip and then maybe got a foot in it. The do play hard and spend plenty of time waving feet at one another.

 

[Ormsweird]

I now have a mental image of two horses doing 'jazz hands' at each other...

 

[D66]

Ted The Twit 1 v Weatherbeeta heavyweight, expensive nearly new rug - nil.

How - given I have no barbed wire, no obstacles and a very safe field, does the ecking creature manage to split his rug from just behind his wither straight down his spine to the top of his tail !! The raging pillock was trying to run away from the clumps of white insulation material that had fallen out of the rug and were wafting around the barn. The rug is beyond redemption as is my sense of humour.

Dim Tim is pleading innocence. For punishment Ted is now wearing the bright pink turnout that no one else will wear because it is so girly. He doesn't have any pocket money to buy another because he is still paying off all the bad behaviour fines he incurred whilst trying to grow up and he can't even go back on the naughty step because his backside has outgrown it.

Flipping horses !

Perhaps he farted. :s

 

[luckyoldme]

have you got a picture of the ripped rug?

 

[AdorableAlice]

Perhaps he farted. :s

Well, he is certainly full of S H one T judging by the number of barrows I heaved out of the barn this evening.

He was ridden for the first time in 3 weeks today and am I told he was excellent including giving his friends a lead by marching past the travellers horses, chickens, dogs, bonfires and bow tops that are camped down the lane without flinching. My suggestion to his rider, that he should have got off and tethered Ted with them was met with a 'you can't mean it', oh yes I could !

There is most certainly some naughtiness going on the field. Alice never gets dirty, she tip toes across the muddy bits, never rolls unless she can find a clean patch and is always immaculate. Tonight she is plastered and upset, I reckon the boys have chucked her in the gateway and held her head under the swamp.

 

[AdorableAlice]

Ted, wannabee a racehorse, returned to school work today having had several weeks off. He had a little hack and then to the school.

This is the text I got from his ever patient rider. - 'he is a bit jolly, safe but jolly, he won't stop cantering and I really would like to get off and go home for lunch'

I haven't heard anything else, I wonder if he is till going. Anyone got Nigel Twiston-Davies' phone number, he likes a good stayer.

 

[Roxylola]

Bless him - your rider has mystical skills - I admit to being pretty sticky and having a good knack for getting sticky neds to and over a fence but texting and riding are utterly beyond me

 

[Micropony]

What I am especially impressed by is that the chap can text while cantering about. Skillz!

 

[AdorableAlice]

Bless him - your rider has mystical skills - I admit to being pretty sticky and having a good knack for getting sticky neds to and over a fence but texting and riding are utterly beyond me

This is the man who can take 3 horses to the dressage and do 2 different tests on each horse and remember the lot, except of course, when it really mattered at regionals and nationals on the only good horse we have ever had, then he forgot one test.

I found Ted with sticky armpits and looking a bit knackered, I would imagine his rider is much the same. No answer to my message of what are we doing tomorrow. Maybe Ted needs a young gallant, possibly mad, new rider with stamina and long legs. Pots of money and lots of land - oops sorry that bit is me, not Ted.

 

[AdorableAlice]

We have a bit of a problem, anyone got a giant cardigan or pj's please. I started to clip Ted this evening, he was quite good the last time, but this evening he got upset and very ticklish to the point I put my hat on. I gave up and will have to give him a happy pill tomorrow, he is now covered in go faster stripes and refusing to come of his stable.

Can somebody please send him a tweet and tell him he must let me finish him and he must not kick my head off.

 

[babyd]

Ted has had a long chat with himself and reckons the only way to win Alice's affections back is to become Valegro mark two, same colour, plenty of white, can't be that hard can it ?

So this morning he got his feathers in a knot getting to grips with half pass - well baby leg yield but don't burst his bubble by telling him. He can't stand any more disappointment.

He is entered for another walk and trot test next week. He is a funny little soul, he takes his schooling very seriously and we have noticed he rarely puts his ears forward when he is working. They are either sideways are slightly back, I hope it is just concentration and not anything wrong. His eyes are soft and he is forward and responsive so I assume he is comfortable.

He is certainly growing up, he did his work this morning taking no notice of a tree being taken down in a neighbours garden just 50 yards away, with men up the tree with chainsaws going. On the other side of the school Alice decided to do gymnastics and sprinting games. Not once did he look at either distraction.

His conformation is against him, his huge neck and thick gullet give him a very closed up look and allow him to curl up very easily. He will stretch in snatches but is very inconsistent. This was Ted's idea of stretch - just need to find a test with this in it.!

Sorry to bring this blast from the past up... but you weren't joking about Valegro?! He's lovely!

 

[Meredith]

Sorry I don't have a cardie big enough and have no knowledge of tweeting. However if Ted keeps his go faster stripes you could contact Sky Sports and see if they would use him in their next Formula One advert.

 

[sky1000]

This is the man who can take 3 horses to the dressage and do 2 different tests on each horse and remember the lot, except of course, when it really mattered at regionals and nationals on the only good horse we have ever had, then he forgot one test.

I found Ted with sticky armpits and looking a bit knackered, I would imagine his rider is much the same. No answer to my message of what are we doing tomorrow. Maybe Ted needs a young gallant, possibly mad, new rider with stamina and long legs. Pots of money and lots of land - oops sorry that bit is me, not Ted.

Your rider looks absolutely brilliant. I have noticed this before - that he looks brilliant. But what I don't know, and you do, I imagine, is just why or perhaps not why but how. I would really welcome you telling me what it is. He is obviously relaxed and his seat is fab but what else is it? This is probably an odd question but I just love how he looks on a horse and I don't have the knowledge to know why.

 

[AdorableAlice]

Your rider looks absolutely brilliant. I have noticed this before - that he looks brilliant. But what I don't know, and you do, I imagine, is just why or perhaps not why but how. I would really welcome you telling me what it is. He is obviously relaxed and his seat is fab but what else is it? This is probably an odd question but I just love how he looks on a horse and I don't have the knowledge to know why.

We both trained with a lady called Jenny Key. He continues to train with various instructors, he keeps himself fit and is very slim with a natural balance on a horse. His hands are amazing and I put that down to him being a professional (now retired) musician and teacher of music, he is a violinist and pianist. He has real empathy with horses, they love him and Ted worships him. I feel jealous at times because although I feed and care for Ted twice daily, it is his rider that he is really linked up to.

Years ago when we trained together, I actually had the better horse but he could get a better tune out of his tricky horse in half the time it took me to learn something. His ability to absorb lessons is just amazing and he can then put it into practice and retain all the knowledge. Annoying and inspiring at the same time, he is a very special friend - just as well !

 

[sky1000]

We both trained with a lady called Jenny Key. He continues to train with various instructors, he keeps himself fit and is very slim with a natural balance on a horse. His hands are amazing and I put that down to him being a professional (now retired) musician and teacher of music, he is a violinist and pianist. He has real empathy with horses, they love him and Ted worships him. I feel jealous at times because although I feed and care for Ted twice daily, it is his rider that he is really linked up to.

Years ago when we trained together, I actually had the better horse but he could get a better tune out of his tricky horse in half the time it took me to learn something. His ability to absorb lessons is just amazing and he can then put it into practice and retain all the knowledge. Annoying and inspiring at the same time, he is a very special friend - just as well !

Thank you very much for that very comprehensive and interesting reply

 

[Merrymoles]

I've thought this about your rider too - he is almost like a dancer in that his balance and poise look completely effortless! Hats off to him - but don't let him take his off in case his head swells!

 

[AdorableAlice]

I've thought this about your rider too - he is almost like a dancer in that his balance and poise look completely effortless! Hats off to him - but don't let him take his off in case his head swells!

You wouldn't have said that if you saw him yesterday. He took his own heavyweight hunter and Pocket Rocket Martha to Adam Henson's Cotswold ride. He got back ache towards the end of the ride and decided to walk the last mile, went to jump off a moving 17.3, on his tummy across the saddle when he realised he had not undone the air jacket cord. Martha's rider had to reach over and undo it before everything went bang ! He then tried to take the gate post with him on the way out with the lorry. He is a liability when I am not with him.

Whilst he was having fun I was wrestling with his second string Ted The Twit, I get all the good jobs. We had a chat about being grown up and he is now clipped, well in a fashion,, he let me clip right up to his bridle line on one side but not the other, his ears remain very hairy because he will not allow even scissors on his ears and he has one fluffy bum cheek having taken exception to having the clippers on the inside of his thigh. Just as well he has nothing in his diary at the moment. I am pleased with him though, he wasn't happy to be clipped but he listened, its a bit ragged but the clippers and I are intact and he is happy.

 

[AdorableAlice]

Two sets of blades and a ridiculous amount of time later, the furry fool is clipped and has retained his furry ears. The down time is over and the dressage is starting again on Tuesday. I would like him to do the heavy horse dressage but none of our local centres do it as yet.

Someone mentioned the horse had 'wintered well' Ted thought that was great until I told him it was polite way of saying 'fat git'. Alice thought that was hilarious until she found that trotting for more than 60 seconds was beyond her and stepping through was impossible because her belly is in the way of her hind legs. So despite me dumping nearly 2 stone and not looking any different, it appears we have all 'wintered well' !

Looking forward to this first week of more daylight, prelim 14 and 18 for Ted, not sure how well it will go because his rider is very excited at how easily and quickly Ted has picked up walk to canter. Questioning that the movement is not needed until elementary I was told that Ted likes to learn new things and the exercise has helped to get him off his forehand. When asked if he only does it when asked was answered with 'sometimes'. I feel a lot of 'not required' comments coming on Tuesday.

Friday Adorable Alice is off to a showing clinic to get the final verdict on whether she is a princess or a pit pony. I think I know the answer, but regardless she has been preened, plucked and polished. Just need to persuade her that work is not a four letter word and it would be nice if she smiled a bit more and put her ears forward on the odd occasion.

I shall report back at the end of the week. Most likely with 8 minutes worth of walk to canter from Ted and an hour of 'make me. won't and can't from Alice.

His mane and tail will be tamed before Tuesday

 

[sky1000]

looking forward to update. I love stories. Two stone! you have lost two stone! Wow. Congratulations.

 

[chaps89]

No pictures of Alice post-beauty regime?
Great to hear all is going well, Ted is no longer sporting go faster stripes and that two stone lost is a great achievement, especially over winter.

 

[AdorableAlice]

No pictures of Alice post-beauty regime?
Great to hear all is going well, Ted is no longer sporting go faster stripes and that two stone lost is a great achievement, especially over winter.

Did no one tell you that nice girls do not air their bikini line in public!, she would be mortified if her hairy bits were on display, she has morals, well occasionally she does. Two of us did more coat stripping this morning after she had worked, she looks better but I really wish I had clipped her out in January rather than the half clip I actually did, she looks such a mess and I bet all the others at the clinic on Friday will be gleaming. Hindsight or is it foresight, too late either way.

 

[Sven]

Congrats on the weight loss, I hope you can inspire me to do the same. Alice looks fab and Ted always seems to scrub up well, what a team ��

 

[AdorableAlice]

Dear Ted,

Submission is when YOU give in, not getting your ever patient and forgiving rider to give in to you.
Balance is YOU remaining upright, not getting your rider to prop you up.
The test is about YOU doing the movements as they are stipulated on the sheet, there is not an opportunity to free style or add your own ideas.
Effectiveness of the rider, your rider is effectively exhausted and has gone to bed for the afternoon.

and no, that face is not sorry enough.

It would be conservative to say that Ted was very pleased to be going out again this morning, having not done any dressage for a good while. It took me an hour to plait him and heaven knows how many times I got off and on my stool. He galloped up the ramp and then shouted out of the lorry window all the way to the venue which was a tad embarrassing at the traffic lights in rush hour.

He managed 62% in prelim 14 which included two 4's and two 5's for a woeful canter and a couple of appalling transitions. Prelim 18 was slightly better with 64% but still had a 4 and 5, but he did get an 8 for rhythm and a couple of 8's elsewhere. Both tests were done in record speeds with plenty of wall of death moments.

We had a nice day though and he is always good fun to take anywhere. This dressage was our local riding club's winter series of 6 shows, the last one being today. We did Oct to December but missed January and Feb because the horses were out of work in mid winter. Ted still managed to gain enough points from his 4 outings to finish in 6th place in the points league, and won himself a large rosette, a bag of sweets and one of those sticky licks, which I am guessing, will have the blue smarties effect if he is allowed to eat it !

 

[Exploding Chestnuts]

Poor Ted, he is mis-understood, just needs a cuddle, a kiss, a Kilo of Best Apples, and a nice thick bed of Best of Bedding, and just two minutes alone with a molasses ball-in-a- bowl.
Roseettes ............ pah..................

 

[meesha]

Brilliant report and result, love reading about his exploits.

 

[HufflyPuffly]

But did he leave the arena? :lol:

He looks very sorry in that picture too .

 

[teacups]

But did he leave the arena? :lol:

He looks very sorry in that picture too .

Yes, fantastic photo. His rider looks wonderful as ever, and I just wanted to add that those flying feathers look incredibly clean and dazzling...what more could you have done?
Congratulations Ted plus team! 6th place out of how many, by the way? ;p

 

[sky1000]

I think he looks more heck busted than sorry

 

[Tiddlypom]

Alice looks fabulous! Hasn't she muscled up nicely. I don't know if she'll pigeon hole into one of the desired showing categories, but she's a Really Nice Sort .

As for Ted... I initially thought the sweets he won were human sweets, which could go to his rider to help restore energy levels, but I see they're equine sweets, and it sounds like Ted defo doesn't need any extra energy atm! Congrats on the frillies, though, great stuff.