New pony, threw daughter - do I keep him?

[TillyF]

Thanks everyone.
My plan is now to get an experienced friend to come and handle him and see what she thinks.
Then also to call previous yard and see what she says.
I dont want to give up too easily, but on the other hand its not feeling right at the moment.

 

[splashgirl45]

good luck , hope you can sort him out

 

[L&M]

3 weeks is not long as ponies are very good at 'testing' out new owners!

My son's 13.2hh bucked him off 3 times on his first ride - fortunately we were in the school so a soft landing and my lad was brave enough to keep getting back on. After that the pony never did it again as realised it wasn't going to frighten him!

Like you I panicked and thought what had we bought, as didn't seem the same pony we tried. This pony was also a bit difficult to handle but after a few mnths it settled and turned into a fab little pony and taught my son so much, so maybe not give up on it so quickly....

Get some help if you can and give it some time - if it is still being difficult after a few mnths then time to make a decision......

 

[TillyF]

Thanks L&M, poor son! I just hope my daughter is as brave esp as she cant ride for a few weeks now

 

[planete]

I always thought a first pony should have manners to burn and be thoroughly reliable unless grossly mismanaged. IMO this is not a first pony, second pony maybe. His reactions to unsettling conditions should be mild and not dangerous. I am sorry if I disagree with most posters but my child would not go near this one again, he has not shown any of the tolerance that should be the hallmark of a first pony. When my son was young we had a first pony for him we loaned to other pony club homes to teach other children when my son outgrew him. He moved around quite a bit over the years, went hunting, went to camp and never did he become aggressive or try to buck a child off. Our second one on the other hand required quite a bit of work but that was expected.

 

[be positive]

I always thought a first pony should have manners to burn and be thoroughly reliable unless grossly mismanaged. IMO this is not a first pony, second pony maybe. His reactions to unsettling conditions should be mild and not dangerous. I am sorry if I disagree with most posters but my child would not go near this one again, he has not shown any of the tolerance that should be the hallmark of a first pony. When my son was young we had a first pony for him we loaned to other pony club homes to teach other children when my son outgrew him. He moved around quite a bit over the years, went hunting, went to camp and never did he become aggressive or try to buck a child off. Our second one on the other hand required quite a bit of work but that was expected.

I agree, having dealt with many unsuitable ponies over the years a true first pony is hard to find and very accepting of everything in life a move should not really bother them as they will have moved before, have been out to PC camp and seen a lot in general, having to have hay in front of him to keep him still would be enough to make me question his manners, my 2 ponies tie up without a net and will stay there for as long as I need them to neither are first ponies to ride but both could easily be handled by a novice child .

You say he was in a RS/ dealers yard I would be interested to know how long he was there and how much work he was doing it may be he was working hard compared to now, where he was before would probably be a better place to get a true picture.

 

[Apizz2019]

In my opinion, a true first pony should be the closest you can get to bombproof, adaptable and not easily upset by change in home, routine etc.

After all, you dont take a pony to a show and expect to spend a few days or weeks there for it to settle and perform.

I may be old fashioned in my views but that's what I consider a true first pony. Yes, they may be slightly nervous or out of sorts but never dangerous, which bucking is for small children.

Our first pony for my daughter was a dream on the ground but not consistent under saddle. One day he would take you through anything, the next he had a scary shadow following him.

I can't stress enough how quickly he destroyed my daughter confidence and how long it's taken to build that up again, still 2 years later she's nowhere near where she was when we got her first pony, despite having the perfect first pony now.

We tried everything with her first pony but she wasn't capable enough, he was more of a second pony and it was just the way he was wired.

Very much the same as humans, you cannot change who they really are. You can dumb down some aspects but they either have what it takes to be a first pony, or they don't.

The problem with small ponies is, they're rarely broken and brought on by children these days. More often than not its small capable adults who do this, which results in ponies not wanting little riders bouncing on them, being unbalanced, which most small kids are, and not being given correct aids.

This is the very reason why true children's first ponies are so hard to find and cost a small fortune.

You can't put a price on safety.

 

[EASTIE17]

These things can spiral quiet quickly so its good you are getting some sound advice. While part of ownership is about giving the animal time to settle , there are lots of very suitable animals out there looking for homes so why spend the time, expense and indeed often upset with one that is potentially not suitable.
And suitability comes down to owners also, if you or your daughter or not that experienced a normally placid pony can try it on, become unsure of their boundaries, they get stressed, behavior gets worse and on we go. And theres nothing wrong with not being experienced, but as others have said ideally suitable in this case might be the type that just doesnt care where they are (within reason) so that they dont react unless there is something to react to. I totlally understand it can be difficult to determine that from viewing etc.
As someone once said to me when my daughter was starting to event and we had the, what I now regard as silly (on my part) theory of getting a youngster to grow with her, "when everyone is learning, no-one is learning". Since then I bought the best I could afford, schoolmaster types and now she has learnt her "trade" she is bring a few youngsters along because she knows what to do. Always a very tricky balance but experienced helpers are the key, and consistency

 

[Rowreach]

Grumpy on the ground, probably stressed with new environment/individual turnout, doesn't like his girth being done up ... I think you probably have a physical problem there.

 

[TillyF]

Thanks so much everyone. Lots to ponder!
Yesterday my gut feeling was to send him back and start again, today I was thinking of giving him another chance. I'm just not sure!

 

[eggs]

How experienced are you with horses/ponies? From what you have written it sounds as though you don't have that much experience yourself and this pony is quite possibly not the right one for you or your daughter.

I would agree that a true first pony should cope perfectly well with a move to a new environment. Have someone experienced come out to assess the pony and your child and if they think the pony is not suitable you should not carry on with him. Coming from a dealer does give you more protection so I would get in contact with them and advise that the pony is not suitable and that you will be returning him. I'm not really into the whole cuddling and kissing of ponies and wanting them to be my best friend but your daughter has to enjoy being around the pony on the ground as this isn't a top notch competition pony and it doesn't sound like this pony likes being fussed over. It could be that he was soured at the riding school.

Take a knowledgeable friend with you when you next go looking for a pony.

 

[ester]

Realistically I’d be pushing to send him back which shouldnt be an issue If the seller is reputable as you say, and selling kids ponies.

 

[Ambers Echo]

I think first ponies should be temperamentally very easy going and cope rapidly with new environments. I think they should not have bucking as a 'go to' behaviour in any circumstances really. They should not overreact to spring grass or a bit less work or turn out than they are used to. So no I don't believe this pony sounds suitable for a young child who needs a reliable, safe pony.

 

[TillyF]

Thanks all.
I think I'll ring her tomorrow.

 

[be positive]

Thanks all.
I think I'll ring her tomorrow.

One problem with giving another chance is the temptation is to keep doing so, make excuses for whatever they do until you are too invested in every way, your daughter cannot ride for 6 weeks so it will be end of April before she has been back on for long enough to make a decision by which time the dealer is even less likely to take him back, no guarantee they will cooperate now but you have enough grounds to return him as unsuitable for purpose.

 

[Equi]

Let it go back. Not every pony will be a match and there is not much point spoiling your kids confidence.

 

[Chianti]

Thanks so much everyone. Lots to ponder!
Yesterday my gut feeling was to send him back and start again, today I was thinking of giving him another chance. I'm just not sure!

I would think very carefully about keeping him. I know it would feel like you've not given him a chance but your daughter is your first priority. I'm an adult and have what I call a first pony +. He's had nine year olds get him from the field, groom and tack up and wobble round the school in trot and canter and hack out safely. He can go up several gears if more confident children ride him and want a blast on the common. I would expect a first pony to be a bit of a saint - not perfect because they are living animals but you trust them in everyday situations.

 

[Wishfilly]

I think I'm in the send the pony back camp too, sorry. As others have said, if you wait the six weeks and have a problem it may be a lot trickier to send him back.

What was the situation with his former owners? A true first pony is unlikely to end up at a dealers, and if she has a RS too, then it seems odd she'd pick a very safe first pony as one to sell. I know times are tough for riding schools right now, but good ponies are worth their weight and cheap to keep.

A riding school owner's daughter, even at 8, is unlikely to ride like your average 8yo- so I wouldn't necessarily use that as a measure of how suitable the pony is. How old/experienced is your child?

Did he actually bolt, or just run off with her?

 

[TillyF]

Thanks all.
Wishfilly - he spooked at something in a hedge, trotter then cantered, she held on quite well to start with! He wouldnt stop at me, then careered off the path into a field and as he turned the corner, he either swereved or bucked (bit of a blur), thats when she fell.
Yes true about the daughter, prob better than most 8 year olds.

 

[Apizz2019]

Thanks all.
Wishfilly - he spooked at something in a hedge, trotter then cantered, she held on quite well to start with! He wouldnt stop at me, then careered off the path into a field and as he turned the corner, he either swereved or bucked (bit of a blur), thats when she fell.
Yes true about the daughter, prob better than most 8 year olds.

All horses and ponies spook, we can't remove their nature entirely and they are a prey animal so will take off if scared, however, it's how they react after the fright that's important in a kids pony.

I'd be concerned that he didn't stop at you but I'm more concerned he took off. A kids pony should look after their precious cargo and listen to the rider.

Our current pony jumps on the spot if scared, like a body shudder, but has never taken off, spooked to the side or unseated my daughter. And he comes back to her hand when asked, he has manners and probably has a bond with my daughter that yours doesn't have, understandably, as you've not had him for long.

However, as per my earlier comment..... Confidence can be diminished very easily and can take years to build back up. Sometimes it doesn't come back at all.

If this were me, I'd return to the dealer.

I question why a true first pony would be at a dealers in the first place as many are sold or loaned before the advert is written as they're very sought after and often change hands through word of mouth.

Good luck!

 

[Pearlsasinger]

He doesn't sound like a first pony to me.

 

[Winters100]

Afraid I would also return the pony. If your daughter was not off riding for 6 weeks I might say let an instructor take a look, but in the circumstances I feel that returning pony would be the right thing.

 

[meggymoo]

No experience of this, so no advice from me, but just a thought. You know your daughter well enough, is she even going to want to ride him in 6 weeks time? Is she a bit scared now? If so, will that grow and grow in her head during that time and as others have said, after another 6 weeks will it even be possible to return him?

 

[TillyF]

Thanks again everyone. Will let you know what the dealer says!

 

[Wishfilly]

Thanks all.
Wishfilly - he spooked at something in a hedge, trotter then cantered, she held on quite well to start with! He wouldnt stop at me, then careered off the path into a field and as he turned the corner, he either swereved or bucked (bit of a blur), thats when she fell.
Yes true about the daughter, prob better than most 8 year olds.

This doesn't really sound like first pony behaviour but all ponies will spook. It sounds like you weren't in the arena, and your daughter is only just trotting of the lead on him? It sounds like she just held on rather than telling him to stop? If that's the level of your daughter's riding I do think you perhaps have to keep a bit closer and be ready to step in as soon as it looks like something is going to go wrong- you won't be at this stage for long, but until she is confident applying the brakes and you know how the pony will respond, I do think it's best to stay within grabbing distance whilst out hacking (because of the risk to others as well as to your daughter). That's just my opinion though, and I know others will feel differently.

How old/experienced is your daughter? It's her first pony, but have you owned horses/ponies before?

 

[TillyF]

Thanks Wishfilly.
Yes I do need to keep nearer, it was probably a bit too soon.
I have had ponies before, but a few years ago.
Had a nice ride today myself. He was still definitely nervous, but did as I asked, needed coaxing down one road towards bridleway. So perhaps just very unused to being out byself.

 

[TillyF]

Also daughter and I had an honest chat, we think perhaps he is overall a bit much for her. Still waiting to hear from dealer.

 

[Wishfilly]

Thanks Wishfilly.
Yes I do need to keep nearer, it was probably a bit too soon.
I have had ponies before, but a few years ago.
Had a nice ride today myself. He was still definitely nervous, but did as I asked, needed coaxing down one road towards bridleway. So perhaps just very unused to being out byself.

Unless you're tiny, or your daughter is a fair bit older than I am imagining, if you're able to ride him too, he's probably a bit big for your daughter?

Something an adult is needing to "coax" probably isn't an ideal first pony, though. And if he's unsure about hacking alone, and that's what you want your daughter to be able to do, then he's probably not right.

However, I do think you need to be conscious of setting your daughter and any future ponies up for success- and that includes perhaps thinking a bit more carefully about what you buy in the future.

I'm not saying all of this to judge you, I just think that whilst this pony perhaps isn't quite what your daughter needs, you perhaps haven't quite set things up as well as you could have done.

I would phone the dealer tomorrow.

 

[misst]

Not read all replies but coming from a RS - was he on working livery?
I made this mistake years ago.
Not only a change in routine and handling but a pony in RS is often worked most days. The lack of work might well be a factor if so. If he is a pony and on good grass does he need feed at all? Is he used to being ridden out of a group?
Our old girlie turned out to have a good old buck and spook on her which never showed in a RS situation but showed very quickly on a change in management and handling and a lack of work.
It is all sortable if you want, with good professional help. Our girl was a fantastic pony club pony and did everything for our daughter and went out on loan for a while too - where she played merry hell with loaners until they got her measure! It took about a year and it was hard work but worth every moment, she was on every team and my daugher hacked her for fun until she was 25. We had her until she was 27 and she remained a fiesty monster until the last.
It is early days but if you are going to send her back then now is the time.

 

[brighteyes]

I'm guessing you didn't pay a 'paragon of virtue' Pony Saint price...

So much depends on the age and size and type of pony, same for child, your experience, its former life and company. Everyone is cribbing the poor pony and I am thinking the OP sounds a bit naïve with her expectations. Redmone springs to mind and Keira888. Both disaster potential and both happy ever afters.

My kids never had schoolmasters and most people were horrified at my first choice for them (well-known madam of a thing) but I know about ponies and she was their best friend for 9 years. She took them from 'no up-downs' to hunting via Pony Club, XC and SJ, up the beach, round the roads and on holiday to the Welsh Mountains. Taught several kids to ride (and some a few manners) She pulled awful faces at her girth being (even ever so gently) done up but was never grumpy other than that.

What's more they learned to actually ride.