owning a horse

rubysmum

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i am MORE puzzled by those who have NO confidence issues at all but who also dont ride - we have a lit indoor menage at my yard, most of the horses come in at night & i work on the principle that if i have spent the fuel money getting there i may as well tack up & do a bit of work - only adds maybe 40 mins onto my yard time - but usually i am the only person in the school.
when i totally lost all riding confidence i MADE myself ride - it was horrible but i know that if i stopped I would never begin again
 

JFTDWS

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i am MORE puzzled by those who have NO confidence issues at all but who also dont ride - we have a lit indoor menage at my yard, most of the horses come in at night & i work on the principle that if i have spent the fuel money getting there i may as well tack up & do a bit of work - only adds maybe 40 mins onto my yard time - but usually i am the only person in the school.
when i totally lost all riding confidence i MADE myself ride - it was horrible but i know that if i stopped I would never begin again

Lack of time or energy, desire to give the horse time off in winter, lack f desire t ride "for the sake of it", no need to keep fit during off-season - there could be any number of reasons not to ride.

I don't ride a lot in winter, due to a lack of time and not having any need to keep the horses particularly fit. Mind you, I don't have an indoor school...
 

FionaM12

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I'm sure everyone understands people keeping injured or elderly retired horses as pets. In fact most would say that makes you a responsible horse owner.

But if someone keeps a horse which is sound and aged, say, between 3 to 25 years old, but doesn't ride it, they do get critisized. I'm not saying the OP is criticisizing, but people do.

I bought mine because I love horses and riding, but we're not all the same. As long as it's well cared for, who cares of someone elses' horse isn't ridden?
 

noblesteed

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Why would the OP bother to make a post like that if they didn't intend to spark a debate?

Confidence issues will always be an emotive subject. That's the nature of the beast - whatever people say, even if it's not a direct criticism, it will get under your skin and chip away at you. It truly is a horrible thing.

I have been at plenty of yards when I loaned, where there were loads of horses I never saw ridden. Whether or not the riders rode them when I wasn't there, or what they did with them I didn't know and didn't care! But when I had my own horse at a yard where there was bitchiness, I used to wait til everyone had gone home before riding. They then went round saying I wasn't riding my horse - and when I said that I had, just not at the same time as them, they said I was lying!!!!
 

rhino

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Why would the OP bother to make a post like that if they didn't intend to spark a debate?

Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean you are 'anti' it :confused: Perhaps OP loves her ponies dearly but gets the 'most' enjoyment out of riding, but realises that not everyone is the same?

There was a very interesting post in CR recently about competing/riding and quite a few members said if they couldn't compete they would not ride/own horses at all. A number of 'top' riders have said the same, their motivation is the riding and competing. Those of us who are happy pottering about the stables/yard all day doing horsey jobs don't always understand that. It doesn't mean it is any 'less' of a viewpoint though.
 

Kenzo

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Because there are people out there such as dealers/horsey friends/private vendors that could sell sand to the arabs, or they befriend people and talk them into buying a horse off them or they prey on rich gullable first time horse owners and manage to sell either unsuitable horses to people, or ones that are not quite ready or confident enough for owning and riding their own horse.

You're taking one sided view.
 

minkymoo

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I understand those that have confidence issues – I had a terrible confidence crisis a few years ago but I worked really hard at getting it back and getting lessons with* a good instructor.
*
Years down the line I am in a good place with my horse, but I found out I was pregnant and am simply too tired to ride after work every day so I like to spend time grooming both Big Horse and my yearling to get to know them better and to spend some quality time with them. I ride at the weekends and occasionally take a ½ day off work to ride.
*
There is someone at our yard who is too scared to ride her horse and finds every excuse under the sun not to. This I don’t have a problem with but she had a good support network but ends up in the pub and now only sees her horse at the weekends because she has to. She doesn’t even groom him during the week and I have to be honest, it makes me cross. His face is so sad, she won’t admit that she made a mistake in buying him and that he was an impulse buy because she ’wanted a horse’. Not fair IMHO.
*
So there is the difference, if you spend quality time with your horse, I don’t think it matters if you ride or not. It is when you don’t bother that I think there is a problem
 

FionaM12

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Confidence can be purchased with a generous tot of whiskey!

It might seem to give confidence, but alcohol also impaires your judgement and increases your chance of an accident. For the sake of myself and my horse, I prefer to face my fears sober.
 

JFTDWS

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If you saw how utterly incompetent at anything I become after a sniff of alcohol you'd realise why Mollie wouldn't thank me for boosting my confidence this way! :eek::D

*sniggers* I'm better at most things after a drink - especially things involving aim / hand eye coordination - as it stops me overthinking things. I'm considering a slug from a hip flask before attempting horseball matches this year as my shooting is apalling when I'm sober :eek: I will probably be arrested for being drunk in charge of a horse!

I have a lovely image of you sprawled across Mollie, slurring and waving your limbs about helplessly. She has a look of long suffering despair on her face :D
 

CatStew

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I know a few horses like this. But if horse and owner are both happy, good for them! :D

That is very true. Seems a shame to have a perfectly sound, rideable youngish horse go to waste, but he is very spoilt and very happy, so it's entirely up to them what they do with him I guess.

I have visions of a full sized horse in an exercise ball, like equine zorbing :D

That sounds like a plan! Could definitely be on to something there...:D


On the flipside, there is another person on the yard who doesn't ride, she had a few falls and lost her confidence to ride (although will occasionally sit on YO's horse). She buys youngsters and does all the groundwork with them and pays YO to back them and school them and pop them over a jump. She will then sell them on, sometimes at a loss when you take into account the money spent on livery and feed etc. Some people have commented that it's a waste of money and her time doing this, but she have a very stressful job and works very long hours and for her it's a form of escapism I guess!
 

Wagtail

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More than half the horses at my yard are not ridden for the following reasons:

In foal
Retired
Recovering from an operation (may have to be retired)
Just been diagnosed with proximinal suspensory desmitis
Owner over horsed.

As for me, I would say that I enjoy the day to day care of the horses at least as much as the riding. I would keep them as pets by choice if I could not ride again for any reason. Horses are the most interesting and complicated animals. There is an awful lot of pleasure to be had from them even without the riding. So I do not think that it is a waste of money to buy a young capable horse and never ride it. The horse doesn't care, so long as it is well cared for.
 

highlandponygirl

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Confidence is such a fickle thing in't it? Iv been riding since I was about 9yo and was always quietly confident about riding, nothing fazed me. But a couple of years a go I had a bit of a blip. I lost all my confidence. I dont even know how it started but it made me very nervous of riding and even gave it up after a few month of losing my confidence. It was almost like I lost the ability to ride. I kept losing my balance and falling off or finding myself clinging on to horses neck for dear life:rolleyes: There was one day I was riding in the school and I fell of 3 times in the space of about 20 minutes. It was probably my fault, (horse never put a foot wrong:eek:) losing my confidence in riding played havok with my balance and my seat and I was all over the place, whereas a year before that I would have sat all of that out or got up laughed, gave myself a shake and got on with it. Thankfully that blip is long gone, and it just shows that it can creep up on you at any time, when you think it wont happen to you. I look back to that period and think WTF was that all about? But he ho , you learn from those things right?
 
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Roasted Chestnuts

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Really - why is it any of your business? People own horses for all sorts of reasons. As long as said horse is well cared for, what does it matter?

As more and more horses are being either neglected or abandoned because their owners cannot afford them, surely those with the time, money and inclination to "do the all the chores" and pay for the correct care (dentist, vet, farrier, etc.) whether or not they ride should be applauded, not vilified (look it up).

Your post didn't make me confused - it actually made me angry.

P

There isnt any reason to get defensive about anything poster. Its not an attack, I just dont get it and its not summat I would do but then I havent had confidence issues :)

No need to get bent out of shape about anything, if you choose to get angry over a question on the internet then feel free, no skin of my nose. :D
 

Roasted Chestnuts

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I think OP is being given an unfairly hard time here. I didn't read it as her judging or mocking in the slightest :confused: I interpreted her post as simply feeling it is a shame when people who desperately want to ride, can't!

I have worked with a number of people who are desperate to regain their confidence. They are not happy as they bought their horses with all intentions of riding and find themselves unable to. Fairly often it has not been due to any fault of the horse, just a mismatched partnership. Some worked through it. Some bought more suitable horses. Some decided they were actually happy not riding and were happy having pet horses/letting other people ride them. There is nothing wrong with any of these scenarios. My ginger horse is now a pet through injury, I don't feel anyone would look down on me because of it :confused: :rolleyes:

Yes, it is important that the horse is happy. Is it not also important that the owner/rider is happy too? These are the people that I feel OP was thinking about. If you are happy then great, but some people aren't!

Thank you Rhino, I dont know why people have gotten all upset about someone asking a question. I dont feel my post was derogatory or an attack on anyone but I suppoase everyone is defferent after all :D
 

Goldenstar

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I'm sure everyone understands people keeping injured or elderly retired horses as pets. In fact most would say that makes you a responsible horse owner.

But if someone keeps a horse which is sound and aged, say, between 3 to 25 years old, but doesn't ride it, they do get critisized. I'm not saying the OP is criticisizing, but people do.

I bought mine because I love horses and riding, but we're not all the same. As long as it's well cared for, who cares of someone elses' horse isn't

I don't think keeping injured or elderly as pets has any bearing on whether you are a responsible horse owner. I do think it's highly irresponsible to pass on injured or elderly horses if you don't want them any more unless you really know the people and the horse is going to get a high standard of care .
But if someone choses to PTS an injured horse that s a personal choice and I would make no judgement either way.
However round here there are some DIY yards with no winter turnout and there are horses kept as pets who are never leaving their stable I think that's awful.
I know it's non of my buisness but I think it's awful.
 

FionaM12

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I don't think keeping injured or elderly as pets has any bearing on whether you are a responsible horse owner. I do think it's highly irresponsible to pass on injured or elderly horses if you don't want them any more unless you really know the people and the horse is going to get a high standard of care .

But if someone choses to PTS an injured horse that s a personal choice and I would make no judgement either way.

You misunderstand my post. I was responding to people here whose horses aren't ridden any more due to injury and saying few would criticise them and many would think caring for their retired horses was responsible. I didn't suggest it meant all people who keep retired horses are responsible. Nor was there any criticism of people who pts in similar circumstances.

And no-one here had mentioned "passing on" their retired horses. :confused:
 

Roasted Chestnuts

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No!!! no selling on retired horse argumants please :)

I have an oldie (21 now) and some day he will be fully retired, hes currently retired from jumping and common/pleasure rides and sticking to hacking, dressage and showing but her will eventually be a pasture ornament and companion for my anxious mare :)
 

*hic*

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Oooh does that mean now isn't a good time to say that I'm only keeping my unridden ones until I free up enough freezer space to store them - freezer space that's currently full of the last lot of cute ickle fluffy wuffy lambikins I killed :D:D:D
 

PolarSkye

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Why would the OP bother to make a post like that if they didn't intend to spark a debate?

Confidence issues will always be an emotive subject. That's the nature of the beast - whatever people say, even if it's not a direct criticism, it will get under your skin and chip away at you. It truly is a horrible thing.

This exactly. Thank you for articulating beautifully what I didn't.

P
 

Roasted Chestnuts

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Why would the OP bother to make a post like that if they didn't intend to spark a debate?

Confidence issues will always be an emotive subject. That's the nature of the beast - whatever people say, even if it's not a direct criticism, it will get under your skin and chip away at you. It truly is a horrible thing.

No if a debate happens then it happens poster. I posted because I just dont get it and many people have expressed opinions which are rather interesting to me and some just seem to want to turn it into a fight ;)

I DONT GET it I am not a competition person, I LOVE doing chores around the yard and making sure my guys have everything I can afford to give them as well as the best care I can give them BUT I love to ride and I dont get why people would spend lots of money and time and ride loads of different horses, finally find 'the ONE' then get it home and not ride it :confused:

Thats the thing I have trouble comprehending :)
 

PolarSkye

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No if a debate happens then it happens poster. I posted because I just dont get it and many people have expressed opinions which are rather interesting to me and some just seem to want to turn it into a fight ;)

I DONT GET it I am not a competition person, I LOVE doing chores around the yard and making sure my guys have everything I can afford to give them as well as the best care I can give them BUT I love to ride and I dont get why people would spend lots of money and time and ride loads of different horses, finally find 'the ONE' then get it home and not ride it :confused:

Thats the thing I have trouble comprehending :)

I think you have put some people's back up (including mine) b/c of the way you approached the question . . . remembering that we can't see your face or hear your voice, it's all about the words you chose to use.

An open-ended question, such as "I'm curious why some people own horses, but don't ride - any ideas?" sounds far less confrontational and (frankly) judgmental than a blanket statement like "I just don't get why people own horses and don't ride them" . . . I didn't read your initial post as a question - I read it as a statement . . . and I also formed an opinion (based on what you had written) that you were closed-minded and judgmental.

If you genuinely want to know why some people own horses but don't ride them (even if the horse is sound), that's different . . . but it's not what came across in your initial post.

P
 

Roasted Chestnuts

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I think you have put some people's back up (including mine) b/c of the way you approached the question . . . remembering that we can't see your face or hear your voice, it's all about the words you chose to use.

An open-ended question, such as "I'm curious why some people own horses, but don't ride - any ideas?" sounds far less confrontational and (frankly) judgmental than a blanket statement like "I just don't get why people own horses and don't ride them" . . . I didn't read your initial post as a question - I read it as a statement . . . and I also formed an opinion (based on what you had written) that you were closed-minded and judgmental.

If you genuinely want to know why some people own horses but don't ride them (even if the horse is sound), that's different . . . but it's not what came across in your initial post.

P

I unfortunately cannot help the way you took my post but others didnt take it that way so perhaps your take on it was such that you took offence again that I cannot help.

If everyone had univerally taken my post that way then perhaps rewording it would have been seen to improve it but others didnt immediately jump to being insulted so maybe on this occasion your jumping to conclusions was misplaced :)
 

PolarSkye

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I unfortunately cannot help the way you took my post but others didnt take it that way so perhaps your take on it was such that you took offence again that I cannot help.

If everyone had univerally taken my post that way then perhaps rewording it would have been seen to improve it but others didnt immediately jump to being insulted so maybe on this occasion your jumping to conclusions was misplaced :)

I didn't ask you to reword - I merely explained why some people took umbrage . . . and I was not the only one.

Walking away now b/c we are splitting hairs - think we must just agree to disagree.

P
 

NeverSayNever

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Why would you go out and spend time and money looking for a horse then getting said horse and then being to scared to ride?

Not because the horse has scared you but just because you don't have the confidence to ride it??

I mean what an expensive waste of time, No??

I just don't get it. Not having a go I really honestly don't get it :confused:

Really - why is it any of your business? People own horses for all sorts of reasons. As long as said horse is well cared for, what does it matter?

As more and more horses are being either neglected or abandoned because their owners cannot afford them, surely those with the time, money and inclination to "do the all the chores" and pay for the correct care (dentist, vet, farrier, etc.) whether or not they ride should be applauded, not vilified (look it up).

Your post didn't make me confused - it actually made me angry.

P


I feel the same as the OP, but that is because I PERSONALLY have a horse to ride and not to be a pet. I do however accept that not everyone by a long shot feels the same as me and have the utmost repsect for those who still give a home for life to a horse that doesnt turn out to be right for them. Each to their own.

PS, conversely to you wondering how it is any of the OP's business, what DOES annoy me is how people think it is their business somehow to question a horse being sold. Just another perspective. I came back to horses after a break, 6 years ago. Realistically in that time my expectations and what I need from a horse has not only changed but along the way yes, I have had a couple that have almost wrecked my confidence. I started out with a young 14.2hh coloured cob, having fallen for the typical dealer patter as a first time buyer. I kept her 6 months and tried hard but realised after this time that a 4 year old was not what I needed;) She was sold to someone who is now a very good friend. I then had 2 brilliant years with a 14.3hh connie x who taught me loads but after 2 years I was ready to move on as he was getting on in years and wasnt able to take me any further. Again, he was sold locally to a fab home. It was hard to find that step and then I bought a 16hh ISH who had me on the deck the first time I tried to mount at home.Again I persevered, threw everything I had at lessons and help but another fall left me in hospital and with shattered confidence. I knew, even though it had only been a couple of months that I would never have the nerve to sit on him again.I got my RI to work with him and sell him for me. I then stupidly decided I wasnt going to get the gem I needed within my budget so took a loan to buy a horse who was to be fair a saint in every way. However after I got my nerve back and started competing, a year later it was clear we werent clicking. I got my RI to compete him incase it was me and she agreed as a match we werent working. I was stressing about the money and felt I couldn't justify keeping him to happy hack. Again, he was sold to a lovely home, cousins of a friend. It was really hard to find the right horse but finally earlier this year I found a connie who was just fab! We competed all summer with success and I was loving every minute. However he had one quirk, he was very nappy to hack alone. I was happy to work with this as he was everything I needed and had no intention of parting with him, I loved him and the napping didnt worry me. However I then fell pregnant and with his napping there was no way I could continue to ride him, it was Sep... Id have to turn him away for almost a year, and who would loan a horse who reared and carried on when hacking out? I spoke to the people I got him from and they took him back. I was gutted. In the meantime I was riding a friend's Sec D that I have known for a couple of years, she is a darling. After my connie went back I carried on hacking her out with my friend and she offered me first refusal to buy her, so I did. We are getting on fabulously and she is looking after me very well.

People love to judge, they see I have changed horses several times and think it's their right to have a go. Personally I dont give a fig, because I am of the same mind set as the OP, I have my horse to ride and compete and if it doesnt work, then I'll find them a good home and move on. Not hurting anyone,every horse I have owned has been well cared for and new homes carefully vetted.
 
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