Please excuse me while I die of idiot disease.

From the mouths of mothers.....
When I was still living at home a boy popped round to visit me.
Boy: Is Lucy in?
Mum: She's in the shower at the moment, would you like to see her?

Luckily boy was too polite to say "yes please!"
 
My god I love you! I feel like I'm reading a chapter from a jilly cooper novel every time I open a thread!
Having once had an EXTREMELY FF in the past I totally understand where you're coming from....my situation was quite the opposite though. He offered it on a plate and I was annoyingly getting married a few weeks later. Such apalling timing. :rolleyes:
 
So whats the likelyhood of FF being there?

Plan A

Sent FF a text (in error, meant for your friend)

"Sorry, cant help tonight, working at the CRAVEN ARMS"

Then if he replies, just reply to him with "oops, not meant for you, sorry"

Or, the minute you send it, send the 2nd text.

Am I a genuis or what?

( I do not require an answer for that.......Monty, shils etc)
 
DH1 said:
Ahh what a shame you are on Desserts, I have a great recipe for Sausage Surprise, then again FF had that yesterday didn't he :)
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WHAAAAAAhahaha hahaha hahahahaha

My nose hurts, too much snorting.

HHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

(Imagining your mum shrieking 'sausage surpriiiiiiissssseeeee' like Jean Slater in Eastenders with megephone hands..............)
 
Lol, this happens to me all the time (not that my farrier is sexy!). Because I keep my horses at my mums, I always mooch about there in old pyjama trousers (or "lounging" trousers I think is the technical term!) with an over-large jumper full of holes and covered in filth (well, a clean jumper is filthy within 1 day of being around the horses!). And normally I finish of this stunning look with a pair of odd-matched socks (or worse, brighly coloured neon ones) and greay hair! LOVELY! I think the postman and milkman are more shocked to see me in PROPER clothes nowadays! The problem is crossing the road (which seperates mums house from the horses) in this horrendous get-up because I dont want anyone to see me (obviously) so I have to kinda hide behind a hedge if a car comes then run like hell! But hey, at least I now wear clothes - when I was a kid I used to do the horses in my pyjamas and if you were lucky a dressing gown over the top... what a sight.
 
Cavalier said:
PS. How long did it take you to train your dog to round up farriers?
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What an excellent idea for someone to start up a class..

I'm not well and this thread is the only thing bringing a smile to my lips today. Starzaan posts should be prescribed medicine.
 
Binky01 said:
a-megaphone-work-200X200.jpg


Like that, I think?!
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Gotcha, Thankyou :D Of course, brain fart moment on my part.:(
 
guido16 said:
So whats the likelyhood of FF being there?

Plan A

Sent FF a text (in error, meant for your friend)

"Sorry, cant help tonight, working at the CRAVEN ARMS"

Then if he replies, just reply to him with "oops, not meant for you, sorry"

Or, the minute you send it, send the 2nd text.

Am I a genuis or what?

( I do not require an answer for that.......Monty, shils etc)
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This so works!! :o:D
 
Starzaan said:
finally!!!!

No I am NOT. I died of humiliation and idiot disease last night, but nobody noticed. :(
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Kind of also proves the point that she can't even die quietly!


God help the FF when he finally falls prey to the wafting morags and the welly dance!
Let's hope he doesn't want a quiet life!!!!!!
 
Rosie_M said:
Kind of also proves the point that she can't even die quietly!


God help the FF when he finally falls prey to the wafting morags and the welly dance!
Let's hope he doesn't want a quiet life!!!!!!
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How nice of you to think that he might actually think I'm even the tiniest bit sexy and that I might have even the teeeeeeeeeeeeeeniest chance of bagging him.


And I want sparkly pom pom things, no flowers. I also want everyone to do a conga line instead of the weepy walk of sadness.
 
God i really need to turn this off and get tidying, but i just can't stay away :D
I think this thread needs to be removed, it's a hazard, it's making people choke and keeping me from cleaning ;)
 
Starzaan said:
I want sparkly pom pom things, no flowers. I also want everyone to do a conga line instead of the weepy walk of sadness.
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If that what you want everyone to do at the funeral lovely, I've got to have an invite to the wedding?!

Look on the bright side - at least your mum didn't ask if he wanted his sausage putting in anything?

Note - by this of course (being the innocent type) I mean a bread roll but knowing you lots penchant for smut...........
 
Mon Dure! Poor you - im sure your sausage loving mum may have swung it for you though! Hope you won't be dead for long. Would you care for the book now - it has a very interesting chapter on repairing damage such as this. It could have been worse - you could of been wearing a baggy boob tube, baggy shorts and standing in the pond covered in green skank when thehunky most wonderful Rat Man saw you............i was tres tres devatated!!
 
duh, whelks don't clip on - you'll need muscles or oysters for that.

I think Starzaan will have to play up to ff's idea of "House of Innuendo". All you need Starzaan is a few suggestions from HHO to up the temperature when he next comes to the yard to fit "a full set", and then he'll have no illusion 'bout where you're coming from.
 
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