Please help us - first time owners rehomed a rottie

[{97702}]

How extraordinary, I am with Mother of Chickens, never heard of puppy blues, or Rescue Dog blues either!
You either want a dog or you don’t!
OK they are not always easy at first but you don’t give up on a baby the first time it cries. Ofcourse they are unsettled at first, you are there to give them love and confidence. Send the poor Dog back.

I will echo this - I read the original post when it had no replies, and I had to walk away because I really couldn't think of anything to say. MoC and Chiffy have hit the nail on the head for me - I have never EVER heard of 'puppy blues' and goodness me I think I've probably seen more puppies finding homes than the average person.

Send the poor dog back and give him a chance with people who will accept him for how he is, be calm and reassuring not panicky and anxious which will wind him up hugely, and love him from the start - he has had to put up with enough in his short life without having this as well

 

[{97702}]

what, making us grumpy or laid back?

I fret when they are poorly but I don't fret about having them-if I did, I just wouldn't have them.

I apologise to you OP if I came over a bit harsh but it did sound to me as though you were wanting an out. And there's nothing wrong with admitting your mistake now rather than later on-for the dog's sake.

I have honestly never heard of puppy/new dog blues-find the whole idea bizarre but obviously us baggages in the North are in a minority . I wish you luck in whatever you decide.

Ha ha just read this - nope I am Gloucestershire so not in the North, and I agree 100%

 

[ester]

I'm quite surprised that people seem to think everyone should react the same to things and if they don't the solution is to get rid rather than at least consider working through it. Especially when so many of the 'dog lot' have said it does happen and has to them. We're all different so it would be pretty unlikely that we would all take a new family member totally in our stride even if some can (kudos). I really don't think that means people that struggle a bit in the early days shouldn't go ahead though.

 

[stencilface]

If only giving babies back was that easy!

We all react differently to change, some go with the flow, some fret and stress. Neither is wrong, they are different. Or judung by this post 70% ish of people would have returned dogs.

Also learning that people are siblings, I've been here 10 years, how did I not know?!

 

[Cahill]

never heard of `puppy blues`

poor dog,how can you get to know him in a matter of a day or two?
he must been feeling worried and wondering if he is safe and how long is he staying.
how can he begin to shine if not given the chance?

rotties are very sensitive

 

[MotherOfChickens]

I'm quite surprised that people seem to think everyone should react the same to things and if they don't the solution is to get rid rather than at least consider working through it.

working through something is fine-as long as the risk taken isn't that a dog that mucked around even more because you aren't really committed.only the OP knows how committed they are and if they think they are committed enough, I genuinely wish them luck.

rescues in my experience, even sound ones at rescue through no fault of their own, take several months before you really see who they are and settle in. this is an adolescent dog thats already had some upheaval -there is plenty of help out there but its going to take some effort and determination.

dogs are way more work than a horse imo-horses can be left in a field or at a livery yard, you can walk away from them even for a little while. dogs are the first thing you see to in the morning, when you get back from being out, the last thing you see to at night, the thing that drags you out in all weathers however busy you are or however grim you are feeling. they rely on us for exercise, stimulation, company-way more than horses do.

 

[ester]

I do understand that people are worried about the dog and that being in a currently anxious household is not ideal. But equally it wasn't a rushed decision from the OP so I am perhaps presuming (I know ) a decent level of commitment underneath the anxiety which seems fairly crippling currently but may only take a couple of days to settle a bit all round. Hopefully the additional direction she has received from here will help.

 

[honetpot]

Bloomin heck, lots of people appear to be perfect and have never ever wondered what the hell they have done. The classic one is getting pregnant.
I can not remember the amount of things I have tried, volunteered for, bought and brought home, I am a handshake sort of person, and not gone to bed that night wondering what I have done. The worst one of course is getting pregnant, there is no way you can send it back, and afterwards you think it was all done of a whim, a huge decision based on no experience.
I break the big problems in to small problems and work through them one at a time, looking at a whole problem gives you indigestion.
I brought home a rottie X and she is lovely but as I rehomed her, I wondered what I had done and as my husband is not keen on dogs it could have been a disaster. But it wasn't.

 

[{97702}]

What an odd post - I haven’t seen anyone claiming they are perfect honetpot? Just people saying that they have never heard of puppy blues

 

[Karran]

Deep breath!

You can do This!

Mrs Spaniel came to live with me at 10pm on a Friday Night. Poor thing was terrified, cried all the way home in the car and spent the first night bolt upright outside my bedroom door. 2nd night my brother bought her bed up to the hallway and she settled in it but took her three weeks before she seemed to settle to sleep.

She ate shoes, she dug a hole in the carpet, destroyed the post. She was a neurotic, clingy mess who dropped 3kg through stress and at her lowest was 5.6kg despite 3 meals a day and bedtime snack! I had to be incredibly strict at first about not letting her on the sofa or bed and making sure I could leave her (in the beginning she tried to break the door down to get to me when I had a bath such was her fear of being alone)

I had had dogs before as a child but this was something else and meant adapting to a huge disruption to my routine. I think it took 3 weeks before she accepted she was staying, three months before she began to respond and feel settled and now nearly three years later I adore her and She's my little brown shadow.

Yes it's overwhelming and panicky but if you can manage the horses you can manage This! Get yourself to a decent puppy school, start playing and training Rottie and building a bond.
You'll be fine!!!

 

[JennBags]

I'm a southerner whose never heard of the puppy blues!

A 1yo is still a puppy, and I don't think getting a dog which is probably very insecure and then going out all day for 4 days a week is really ideal. Added to which the stress levels that just be coming over from you to the poor thing are really not going to help him settle into his new home. If it's affecting you that badly, then I'd also suggest sending him back and taking a bit more time to research breeds and dogs before you take the plunge again.

If you do decide to keep him, spend some time looking at how someone like Larry Krohn treats his dogs, and spend some time having fun and playing with your rotty.

 

[jaffa2311]

Tha ks again for replies.

I am awake and anxious... again. He is alseep in the kitchen and I haven't heard a peep. I'm anxious that we are mean, as we haven't let him upstairs.

I bought him some more toys yesterday, which he loved. We went on two more walks and he's good on the lead. He is deaf to us when we are asking him to do anything when on a walk at the moment.

It really isn't helping my anxiety that my partner feels the same. Obviously I can't control what he feels! I can't explain how excited and separate we have been to get a dog, every awake moment we were talking and reading about it.

We have talked a lot and cannot put our fingers on what's controlling our unexpected emotions. I think it is purely the huge change in our lives. We were used to it being just us two, and now it isn't!

I say he's been a good boy, because he has, but he is probably testing a little. He barked at me when my back was turned and I was cooking, and then again when we sat at the table to eat. We were told he rarely barks, which has turned out to not be true really.

I find myself totally paranoid about what everyone else thinks, including my neighbour.

I should probably explain that I do get anxiety during other parts of my life, but much less than this and controlled. I get it before a show with my horse, I cannot sleep or eat anything and spend the whole journey and competition heaving and vomiting and with diarohhea. I've had to get off whilst warming up because of this multiple times.

I guess the not having the emotional
attachment yet doesn't help. It feels like an imposter that we are caring for. I clearly remember explaining that feeling when my foal arrived a few years ago, totally unhandled. I remember reading on here a lot about youngsters, which really put a downer on my capabilities and made me feel like I'd made a mistake. She is now completely mad but both myself and my partner absolutely idolise her and her amazing personality. She's turned into a reasonably well educated and rounded pony.

The thing is with a horse is that they stay at the stables and you go home and vary on with your life when you've done them. Obviously nothing like a dog. Yes I am and was aware of this simple fact. I remember with the foal that I'd go home and want to switch off and pretend it wasn't happening when at home.

We have a good doggy friend coming to visit today and my mum too.

I guess we just take each day as it comes and give him and us time. I just wish I could shake off all the horrible feelings and anxiety.

 

[Cahill]

lol at the barking at the cooking,he was telling you in the only way he could that he likes food.
mine is 7 and owned since a pup.he barks when i open the fridge but no big deal to me x

 

[Chiffy]

I wasn’t going to comment on this post again as I felt I was pretty harsh last time, but I was incensed about the ‘puppy blues’ remarks from people.
I am wondering how long you have been just a couple who can do as you please? You are obviously finding it a huge intrusion to have another being in the house that is totally dependent on you 24/7.
I know that people with a first baby can feel overwhelmed by this, life has changed forever.
If you wanted it to be like a horse that you go home and forget, then a dog is not for you. They give unconditional love but want to be part of the family. You also don’t seem to understand dog ways, have you had no experience of being with anyone else’s dog? Ofcourse he can sleep downstairs if that’s what you want, you make the rules. If you don’t like the barking for attention, you distract him and give him something to do or play with.
I do fear you went into this with little research. If you are going to try to see this through, do get some help, it will be the dog that suffers in the end. Less of your feelings and more of the dog’s please!

 

[Clodagh]

I do think that you should send him back, I do sympathise with feeling overwhelmed, but from your description he is being as good as gold.
If your OH is in the same funk this exercise is a waste of time.

 

[meleeka]

It almost sounds as if you didn’t really want a dog full time, you just liked the idea of having one and now you are looking for excuses not to have him.

Imagine if sending him back wasn’t an option (the same as when you have kids). Would you feel any differently? Dogs bring so much pleasure and dont ask for an awful lot in return and I think you are forgetting that fact.

 

[Thistle]

I wasn’t going to comment on this post again as I felt I was pretty harsh last time, but I was incensed about the ‘puppy blues’ remarks from people.
I am wondering how long you have been just a couple who can do as you please? You are obviously finding it a huge intrusion to have another being in the house that is totally dependent on you 24/7.
I know that people with a first baby can feel overwhelmed by this, life has changed forever.
If you wanted it to be like a horse that you go home and forget, then a dog is not for you. They give unconditional love but want to be part of the family. You also don’t seem to understand dog ways, have you had no experience of being with anyone else’s dog? Ofcourse he can sleep downstairs if that’s what you want, you make the rules. If you don’t like the barking for attention, you distract him and give him something to do or play with.
I do fear you went into this with little research. If you are going to try to see this through, do get some help, it will be the dog that suffers in the end. Less of your feelings and more of the dog’s please!

Well said Chiffy, if you are going to keep this dog, you need to remember he's not a robot, he's a puppy (yes dogs are officially puppys until 18 months) his needs now come before yours, you make the rules but they have to be fair to him. He hasn't read the books and he didn't come with an instruction manual.

Of course he barks sometimes, he's a dog! All dogs (except a Basenji) bark sometimes. If you can't tolerate this then send him back asap.

If you want to persevere then get some professional help asap.

 

[CorvusCorax]

Wow, 'incensed' is a pretty strong emotion to have about something someone else has experienced, but you haven't. It's not wrong, it's just different.

OP, he isn't deaf to you, he just doesn't really know who you are yet. The barking is how dogs communicate.
In the same way as we would say 'that smells nice, I'm hungry, I want some!'.

I also get crazy competition nerves and don't eat beforehand....protein shakes for the win

Hopefully your Mum and your friend will help calm you down.

 

[Red-1]

I really feel for you OP, some comments do sound harsh. I have had new animals and wondered what I have done.

The fact that he is a Rottie may be significant if you are concerned about the barking. Do you feel at risk? I *know* Rotties can be great family dogs, but personally I don't feel safe with them. Strange as we have had many GSDs over the years!

I wonder if you would have felt better with a small dog?

We never wanted small dogs, thought they were a waste of time, the GSDs were guard dogs what use is a small one? Then Hekkie turned up (literally found him on the street) and no one wanted him so he moved in here. Now we are under his spell. Small dog is allowed where GSDs were not!

Owning a small dog is a very different experience to owning a big one.

I would give it a specific time frame, like 1 month. Just put your all into it for a month. Agree that if, after a month, you (or even one of you) still feel the same then he will go back to the rescue. That may just give you the breathing space you need to start actually enjoying the experience.

When Heck first arrived I resented him. He was somewhere between 3-7 years old and not house trained. He had separation anxiety and was so nervous we could not even listen to the TV on any volume at all. He still is scared of cutlery! But, we would not be without him. Well, except that this winter if we did not have him we would have had 6 weeks in Portugal, but that is another matter, we would still rather be in cold England with him than Portugal without!

I would say be easy with yourself. I also felt the same when we bought this place and had horses at home as opposed to at livery. It took a few weeks to adjust.

Good luck. Have fun with him, and after a month take stock.

 

[jaffa2311]

I am interested in to where I am looking for an excuse to send him back? I don't have one so not sure where I have implied that.

We will do what's best for him, if that's living with us or finding him someone better than us then we will do it. If I was resolute on taking him back then I would not have felt the need to post on here in the desperate way that I have.

I did write a long reply but it crashed, so this will do for now.

 

[missmatch]

Rottie’s talk … a lot. It’s known as the Rottie rumble. I have two, one who has the most outrageous opinions on absolutely everything. She would quite happily talk the hind legs from a donkey. The other only talks when it suits her. To listen to number one you’d think we were all going to die at any minute. She sounds ferocious. I have videos of her chatting and it sounds terrifying.
They are also stubborn, demanding, frustrating lumps with hearts as big as a continent. They will be loyal like no other dog, love you as soon as they know you might be awake. Everything is sooooo exciting and they really do believe they are lap dogs.
Neither of mine came with any training, both had horrific starts but they do as I ask of them now. They’re fiercely intelligent, use that to your advantage with food to train. They also tend to favour one person. My biggest girl is a mammys girl, the other favours my husband.
But they are one of the most sensitive dogs I have ever owned. They know the minute you’re upset or unwell and your dog is surrounded by that at the minute. That to me is unfair on this breed.
My tuppence worth … make a firm decision to be the best you can be for this dog. You will get it back in spades. Join Rottweiler groups on Facebook, the Rottie walks will be starting up soon plus there’s incredibly knowledgeable people on them. You might find other Rottie owners locally and there is nothing as glorious as seeing them play. It’s like furry hippos!
Or return him now if you can. The level of anxiety you claim is not normal. Yes puppy blues is normal but it is a feeling of wtf have I done whilst you get on and pray tomorrow is better. If you haven’t eaten in 4 days because of a dog then you won’t be able to look after him anyway.
I really don’t mean that harshly, just practically. These are big, marginalised, beautiful souls with a dreadful reputation and he needs someone who will love him, advocate for him and protect him at all costs.
I can absolutely promise you that if you give him a chance he will enrich your life in ways you never thought possible.
Good luck

 

[AmyMay]

Send him back

 

[stencilface]

I think this may not be about the dog at all.

Do you own the house? Are you married? I think perhaps the reason you and your oh are feeling the same is that you are both now committed to something within your relationship other than each other.

 

[blackcob]

Actual LOL - that's a bit of a reach!

'Other people experience things differently' shocker...

 

[ester]

Exactly BC

The level of anxiety you claim is not normal. Yes puppy blues is normal but it is a feeling of wtf have I done whilst you get on and pray tomorrow is better. If you haven’t eaten in 4 days because of a dog then you won’t be able to look after him anyway.

The level of anxiety may not be normal to you, or a lot of people, but equally for a lot of other people it is a normal day in day out experience. That doesn't mean they have done the wrong thing because if I thought that every time I felt that at least half of my life would be the 'wrong thing'.

OP I hope the doggy friend and mum visit today helps.

 

[{97702}]

Exactly BC

The level of anxiety may not be normal to you, or a lot of people, but equally for a lot of other people it is a normal day in day out experience. That doesn't mean they have done the wrong thing because if I thought that every time I felt that at least half of my life would be the 'wrong thing'.

OP I hope the doggy friend and mum visit today helps.

Personally I have interpreted from this thread that the OP experiences higher than average anxiety levels, and for me that is not a suitable combination for an already very sensitive and probably quite traumatised rescue dog

 

[ester]

It's fine to have that opinion but equally I don't think we are in a position to say how sensitive or traumatised the dog is given that his behaviour so far seems generally good and normal? The OP herself said that other than being clingy (though he slept downstairs alone happily) he has been well behaved so on the surface would appear to be dealing with his new situation well.

 

[stencilface]

And there I was thinking I was being intuitive for once

It was the both lying there panicking at night that made me think that. As from my personal experience that's how I felt when I was allowed home with my baby, I had no training for this!!

I have already said further up that people are affected differently by things.

 

[{97702}]

It's fine to have that opinion but equally I don't think we are in a position to say how sensitive or traumatised the dog is given that his behaviour so far seems generally good and normal? The OP herself said that other than being clingy (though he slept downstairs alone happily) he has been well behaved so on the surface would appear to be dealing with his new situation well.

My view of the sensitivity of the dog ia made after reading the opinions of those who own and know the breed. These are facts. My view of whether the dog will be traumatised is based on my own experiences of quite a few rescue dogs over the years, which are also facts. To me, it is pretty obvious that any dog would be traumatised by being re-homed surely?

For myself I know from repeated experience that a rescue dog takes 6-12 months to really settle into a new home, which is why I find it incomprehensible when people (not just the OP) complain after a couple of days that the dog is not behaving perfectly

 

[Beth206]

OP for what it's worth my partner bought me a JRT puppy 5 years ago as a Christmas present. I felt sick to my stomach about the whole thing (I actually lost a dress size between Christmas and new year lol). I had dogs when I was growing up but they were family dogs and not solely 'mine' so was overwhelmed with responsibility. At the time me and my partner lived separately and I was away at uni. Fortunately a couple of months later my partner got his own place and I moved in with my pup and we finally got into a routine and the terrified feeling started to ease.

I took her to training classes and when I had days off uni we would go out for the day just me and her and explore everywhere, she became my best friend. Two years later we bought our first house and acquired a 10yr old Labrador. I was in full time work at this point as was my partner so it was lovely for her to have a companion (I am not saying get another dog BTW) I love both my dogs dearly and really couldn't imagine life without either of them but if you would have asked me 5 years ago I would have said differently.

Basically I am trying to say I wholly understand the way you are feeling - I thought my relationship with my partner would be over due to the pressure of the dog but actually she brought us closer. She is a yappy, clingy, energetic little thing who hardly ever sleeps. Don't put too much pressure on yourself right now and just enjoy your pup, he sounds a delight already and will settle down in a few more days. Consistency is key with dogs, just keep doing what your doing.