Pony hates yard owner

[9tails]

The age-old saying "If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got" is apt here. These people who believe they know it all because they've been around a lot longer have hit a snag and don't know how to overcome it. I imagine there's a lot of swearing and aggressive behaviour if your pony is running around ragged for 15 minutes to the point that he's sweated up and injured himself. Please move, this isn't the yard for you or your pony. Your daughter will be able to find another share elsewhere.

 

[Lucky Snowball]

You clearly have a healthy relationship with your pony. He trusts you. Do whatever needs to be done to keep your pony happy and safe but I would not advise selling him or you will regret it forever.

 

[Irish Sally]

I'd think about moving tbh. I know it's ideal because it's located so near but I say the people are just going to get worse

 

[misst]

Years ago we had a slightly sensitive natured TB who was at times difficult to lead if he was wound up. Daughter used a chifney if he was in a mood but usually managed without incident . He did not do much but sometimes got bargy and once in a blue moon would lift his front legs a foot of the ground. YO offered to do morning turn out as we having to TO in the dark in winter. We were happy with this and I would go down later and muck out. Daughter would do evenings and riding. His behaviour got worse and worse with leading with us. We could not understand it. There was a chifney she could use but she said she didn't need it - he was fine.
After a month another livery quietly approached me and asked if I was happy with the YOs handling of him. I didn't know what she was on about but several people had witnessed occasions when the horse had got a bit bargy and she would hit him with the lead rope/shout/push. She did not use the chifney (which he led nicely in). We moved yards shortly after that! I think she was too arrogant to use the chifney and would not admit to us that she was finding him difficult.

 

[Julia0803]

I’d move if I couldn’t work something out with YO.

It might not be anything she’s done tho.

We had a sensitive loan horse for my son. Very kind sweet horse underneath… but definitely had his quirks on the ground , especially when he first arrived (understandable- new place, new people, insecure and stressed).

He used to bugger off in hand, whilst bringing him in. He didn’t like being stabled, so we were at grass livery where he came onto the yard 2/3 times a day to be fed, as he was underweight when we got him. It meant catching him in his field, walking through an empty field, and then into an enclosed grassy/hard standing area before the concrete yard. He would usually ‘go’ in either the empty field of occasionally the grass area. He was over 17.2, so when he decided he was going… he was never nasty with it, just freaked out, but obviously it was very dangerous.

But what was interesting was he only did it to my son once in the first week we had him (v tall but gangly teen with his head in the clouds, perfectly capable but not a forward thinker/planner as such… could describe him as airy fairy!). He did it to me fairly regularly for the first few weeks (resorted to catching in a bridle with lunge line attached and hard had on), but eventually he chilled out and he was fine when he trusted me.

However, we had a very nice, very competent freelance groom on the yard, but she had a no nonsense/let’s get on with it attitude. She handled the other horses fine, inc our other one. I had no qualms about her professional care…. But he REALLY didn’t like her! Even several months in, when he would happily lead in in a headcollar like a beach donkey for my son and I, he would pull away from her and charge off.

Yes, I was a bit embarrassed by his behaviour towards her, but we worked together, and suggested that the times she would feed him she would just bring him out of his field, feed him in the empty one and pop him back in his field strait away. That seemed to cure the issue and the solution worked for all parties.

I don’t believe she was anything other than professional towards him, or did anything that would have intentionally upset him. But there was something about her he didn’t like/didn’t trust her to bring him in. What I found interesting was tho, that he was pretty much the opposite with my son, who was no way as experienced as she was, but had a completely different vibe. On paper she would have been the person who should have been more successful handling the quirky/tricky horse.

He was a very sweet horse underneath, but had some real trust issues on the ground (never showed up ridden tho, oddly). We later found out about some physical issues too, which may or may not have contributed so that someone with a ‘vibe’ he didn’t like was enough to tip him over the edge. He’d been on several professional jumping yards prior to us, where he didn’t have a 1-2-1 relationship so I don’t know if that contributed?

 

[splashgirl45]

I would think the easiest thing at the moment would be if you asked the YO if they would leave their pony out with him and you bring both in when you get there.. if you do that for a while and maybe YO could do the same and bring both in together and see how that went. It could be that YO is perhaps going up to him too quickly and he worries, YO may not be doing anything nasty just moving quickly . I was told my loan horse could be difficult to catch but I never had a problem as I am used to mares and understand that many of themdont like to be rushed. My friend offered to get her in when she got hers as I was coming to the yard a bit later, I got a call to say she couldn’t get near her and as I was quite close I went straight to the field and she came up to me immediately . My friend didn’t do anything wrong and my loan horse was used to her voice etc as we stabled next to each other and our horses were in the field allocated to us so just our 2 and we always put them out together and got in together.

 

[Abacus]

You are very respectful of the YO, but remember that you are paying for a service (which is a luxury item and meant to be your enjoyable hobby) and have as much right as any other owner, regardless of your experience. As or the YO, she may be experienced but anyone who knows horses knows that the same approach (be it brusqueness or whatever) doesn't work for all horses and you have to modify how you handle them (and you are paying her to handle him). Your nervous pony isn't naughty, he has probably had a bad experience and is protecting himself from a perceived threat. You, the novice, have worked out how to handle him to overcome this - so well done. She should really know better and modify her own approach. Yes she has a right not to be hurt, but her attitude to him may well be the problem even if she isn't actually unkind.

As an example I have one little horse who is massively scared and headshy, and tricky to catch as he doesn't like his head and ears touched, so going to put a headcollar on is hard even after he has walked up to a person. I can always catch him, and so can my friend who is similarly gentle with him. The children (teens really) have learned from us how to handle him, and he's fine with them. Do I think the horse should learn to to be handled by different people? - yes to an extent, but his fear is so ingrained that I don't think he'll ever tolerate someone doing the things he dislikes - so those different people would have to learn his ways, not the other way around. It's not too hard to show him a little gentleness and give him time.

 

[MuddyMonster]

My native pony is a bit like this. And very black and white about who he likes and doesn't - which is entirely dependent on how they treat him.

Unfortunately because he's A. a pony and B. also fairly laid back, people assume he's 'easy' and not sensitive and then he takes great offense at their poor handling. Said person usually then doesn't like to be shown up by a pony (of all things ...!) so it goes in a bit of a circle.

In the circumstances, I'd try grass livery if it's an option and see how you get on. Hopefully that negates the need to move if it works!

 

[Tinsel]

Years ago we had a slightly sensitive natured TB who was at times difficult to lead if he was wound up. Daughter used a chifney if he was in a mood but usually managed without incident . He did not do much but sometimes got bargy and once in a blue moon would lift his front legs a foot of the ground. YO offered to do morning turn out as we having to TO in the dark in winter. We were happy with this and I would go down later and muck out. Daughter would do evenings and riding. His behaviour got worse and worse with leading with us. We could not understand it. There was a chifney she could use but she said she didn't need it - he was fine.
After a month another livery quietly approached me and asked if I was happy with the YOs handling of him. I didn't know what she was on about but several people had witnessed occasions when the horse had got a bit bargy and she would hit him with the lead rope/shout/push. She did not use the chifney (which he led nicely in). We moved yards shortly after that! I think she was too arrogant to use the chifney and would not admit to us that she was finding him difficult.

but glad that person and different other people saw that happening

 

[Zoeypxo]

I used to always ask for a horse to be left out with mine and id bring them both in once i arrived after dark as mine could be difficult to handle and is 16.2.

 

[Fjord]

It does sound like a bit of a personality clash. Please don't consider selling him based on this behaviour, he sounds like he's perfect for you, it's just the YO he doesn't get on with.

If everything else is fine there, then I would ask for the other pony to be left out for you to bring both in. Hopefully that would let things settle a bit and you can work with the YO to find a lo g term solution. I hope he's OK and isn't lame after running about like that.

 

[Celtic Fringe]

I'd suggest grass livery unless there is a specific reason why you want your pony in at night. My old Welsh D was on grass livery but didn't like our YO at the time. This was mostly due to a bad experience when the pony when he had a bad back and the YO rode him (once we realised the issue pony had extensive and expensive treatment). He tolerated but never trusted the YO again - it was purely personal as he was ok with quite a few people but also extremely opinionated. Often my pony refused to be caught and I'd get hilarious text messages at work about 'That f***ing pony'! Our YO was meant to exercise the pony a couple of times a week once he was ok but quite often that meant following him round a 5 acre field for an hour. I had to do worming etc as otherwise my horse would put up a huge fight and then not let the YO near him for a week. Changing rugs in the field could also be a problem so I usually did that too.
He was very definitely 'my horse' - I got him when he was at least 15 years old and he was with me until he died in his early 30s so it really was a matter of working with him and knowing what he would tolerate.

 

[Kirstd33]

Firstly thanks everyone for taking the time to reply with all the suggestions …..

So I finished work early and got there after lunch and just walked to his field where he trotted over to see me right away. I went in and walked around for 15 with him following me round and we shared a banana and some scratches. Then I went down the yard and did his box, nets etc
When I went back to get him in I had an audience (as expected) but he walked straight up to me and put his own nose into the nose band of the bridle and led like a lamb down the field (I was whispering in his ear “please don’t let me down” !!)
I really don’t know what to think but we’re going to try leaving the section A out with him and have me come and bring the 2 in together especially as it’s getting lighter now each evening. YO will still have to take him out each morning but hopefully he should be ok doing that.
To answer some questions he is a sensitive soul, hes 14 and although he came from a nice home I fully suspect hes had some rough treatment in his early years?
He’s very stiff and one of his back legs is sort of swinging out when he walks from the stifle so he’s having some devils claw, and I’ll look again at him move tomorrow. He’s insured so I won’t dally in getting the vet out and I’m also going to surreptitiously look at some other yards in the area

 

[greasedweasel]

My native pony is a bit like this. And very black and white about who he likes and doesn't - which is entirely dependent on how they treat him.

Unfortunately because he's A. a pony and B. also fairly laid back, people assume he's 'easy' and not sensitive and then he takes great offense at their poor handling. Said person usually then doesn't like to be shown up by a pony (of all things ...!) so it goes in a bit of a circle.

In the circumstances, I'd try grass livery if it's an option and see how you get on. Hopefully that negates the need to move if it works!

I could have written this word for word.

Keep the pony! I absolutely adore mine and he now lives on grass livery and is described by the other liveries as the happiest pony ever but it took me moving him from a yard where I was happy but he wasn’t to get to this point.

 

[Wishfilly]

Firstly thanks everyone for taking the time to reply with all the suggestions …..

So I finished work early and got there after lunch and just walked to his field where he trotted over to see me right away. I went in and walked around for 15 with him following me round and we shared a banana and some scratches. Then I went down the yard and did his box, nets etc
When I went back to get him in I had an audience (as expected) but he walked straight up to me and put his own nose into the nose band of the bridle and led like a lamb down the field (I was whispering in his ear “please don’t let me down” !!)
I really don’t know what to think but we’re going to try leaving the section A out with him and have me come and bring the 2 in together especially as it’s getting lighter now each evening. YO will still have to take him out each morning but hopefully he should be ok doing that.
To answer some questions he is a sensitive soul, hes 14 and although he came from a nice home I fully suspect hes had some rough treatment in his early years?
He’s very stiff and one of his back legs is sort of swinging out when he walks from the stifle so he’s having some devils claw, and I’ll look again at him move tomorrow. He’s insured so I won’t dally in getting the vet out and I’m also going to surreptitiously look at some other yards in the area

The whole vibe on this yard doesn't sound great. There are other yards out there where you can be happy together, I'm sure and not have to deal with the attitude of the other liveries.

Definitely sounds like you should get the vet out ASAP though!

 

[Pinkvboots]

My Arabi won't be caught by anyone his not sure of he also won't just anybody put a head collar on him in the stable, caused me no end of problems when he was on livery and I sort of get a feel for who will be OK and who will not.

I think the yo has possibly gone in the field in a bit of confrontational way and his picked up on it and said no thanks, then she has probably lost her rag and then chased him and really scared him seen it happen many times.

I wouldn't let anyone else bring him in for the moment either leave a pony with him or put him on grass livery, it's certainly not his fault its just one of those things some horses are more sensitive to how they are approached you just have to change his management a bit.

 

[black and brown]

Please don't consider selling your pony, you will regret it for ever more. The problem does not lie with you or your pony, your YO clearly does not know how to adapt to different needs and yet you are being made to feel the novice one. Your pony clearly trusts you and should be proud of this. Like others have said, I would be doing the bringing in myself from now onwards so your pony is not exposed to more stress.

 

[Lois Lame]

Well the YO shoulder was hurt by my pony and it had only just happened in full view of them all and I turned up. I am the newbie novice and they have been friends/liveries for years. They have been supportive of me getting pony but like to keep me in my place with reminders of my noviceness and lack of experience I guess.

That is another great reason to leave. What a bunch of twits.

 

[Lois Lame]

I wrote something similar to this and then deleted it.

Next time don't delete it

 

[Lois Lame]

So I finished work early and got there after lunch and just walked to his field where he trotted over to see me right away. I went in and walked around for 15 with him following me round and we shared a banana and some scratches. Then I went down the yard and did his box, nets etc
When I went back to get him in I had an audience (as expected) but he walked straight up to me and put his own nose into the nose band of the bridle and led like a lamb down the field (I was whispering in his ear “please don’t let me down” !!)

That's so sweet. He's lucky to have you.

 

[Jellymoon]

You sound amazing, what a lucky pony.

Please don’t feel you are in any way inferior to the other people simply because you are allegedly less experienced and more novice than them. This is weird horsey narcissistic/gaslighterish behaviour. The horse world is known for it.

It sounds to me like you are a natural horsewoman and need to give them some lessons.

 

[shanti]

Yard sounds nasty. I can't believe they all yelled at you THEN all came to watch you catch him, no doubt hoping you would fail so they could lord it over you. Really mean.

I have an Arab who only lets me catch him. He is 16 and nervy, I have a particular way that I handle him that he seems to respond to.
People have commented that I should train him better, and I have tried, but he just doesn't trust easily. He would be near impossible for someone to steal at least

 

[Winters100]

Have you ever watched exactly how YO brings in? It might be that she is in a bit of a hurry and just marching up to them, which does not suit every pony. I am sure that this can be easily rectified, but I would be concerned about the report that he charged at YO, and would want to know the exact circumstances. If she had him cornered I would be less concerned than if he just went at her instead of keeping away.

The idea of leaving him out for you to bring in is a good one. If this becomes difficult I would ask YO to bring in the companion while leaving a small bucket feed by the gate to keep pony quiet. She should then be able to go back and pick up the partially eaten bucket feed so pony will happily go with her.

If you are generally happy on the yard then I personally would not rush to move based upon this 1 incident. All yards have their good and bad points, and honestly I do think that a pony charging at someone and injuring them would be a point of discussion in most yards. YO was probably angry and upset at that moment, but it sounds as if she has been quite supportive since then in agreeing to leave her pony out.

I am also a bit confused about why you were advised to take a bridle to catch him. Has he also been bolshy and difficult to lead? A bridle helps with this, but certainly does not help to catch the pony. The thing with horses is that there are always many self appointed 'experts' around, so one needs to be selective about shose advice to take.

Good luck with everything

 

[Kirstd33]

Have you ever watched exactly how YO brings in? It might be that she is in a bit of a hurry and just marching up to them, which does not suit every pony. I am sure that this can be easily rectified, but I would be concerns about the report that he charged at YO, and would want to know the exact circumstances. If she had him cornered I would be less concerned than if he just went at her instead of keeping away.

The idea of leaving him out for you to bring in is a good one. If this becomes difficult I would ask YO to bring in the companion while leaving a small bucket feed by the gate to keep pony quiet. She should then be able to go back and pick up the partially eaten bucket feed so pony will happily go with her.

If you are generally happy on the yard then I personally would not rush to move based upon this 1 incident. All yards have their good and bad points, and honestly I do think that a pony charging at someone and injuring them would be a point of discussion in most yards. YO was probably angry and upset at that moment, but it sounds as if she has been quite supportive since then in agreeing to leave her pony out.

I am also a bit confused about why you were advised to take a bridle to catch him. Has he also been bolshy and difficult to lead? A bridle helps with this, but certainly does not help to catch the pony. The thing with horses is that there are always many self appointed 'experts' around, so one needs to be selective about shose advice to take.

Good luck with everything

For reasons of complete transparency I’ll try to answer your questions, yes I’ve seen and been up with her hundreds of times to bring in, her manner is direct and rather rushed but nothing untoward. Tbh her 2 are usually hanging round the gate waiting to come in and so don’t need catching per se. Mine usually hangs back and is still grazing. I only have her account to say that she was barged by my pony so it’s difficult to say the actual events and yes she said he has in the past 8 days I’ve been back at work been bolshy on the ground with her also. Hence now she says he must be lead in a bridle and as she’s still turning out 5x week I feel I have to also for his continuity?

The yard suits on many respects apart from the undertone of inferiority I feel but I just thought I’d probably get that anywhere with being a new owner?

 

[danda]

The YO does not have a funny smell (like a smell of medicine or other vet smell)?

 

[Pinkvboots]

Yard sounds nasty. I can't believe they all yelled at you THEN all came to watch you catch him, no doubt hoping you would fail so they could lord it over you. Really mean.

I have an Arab who only lets me catch him. He is 16 and nervy, I have a particular way that I handle him that he seems to respond to.
People have commented that I should train him better, and I have tried, but he just doesn't trust easily. He would be near impossible for someone to steal at least

I used to say that Arabi would never be stolen as no one can get near him, my farrier turned up early a few months ago and although they were in he wouldn't let him put a head collar on him, his always been the same his 20 so won't change now

 

[Pinkvboots]

The YO does not have a funny smell (like a smell of medicine or other vet smell)?

It can be the slightest thing one lady that looked after mine for me said if she had a certain pair of bulky gloves on Arabi would run a mile

 

[littleshetland]

Maybe ask her if she's got spare 5 -10 minutes a few times week, to help you groom him, interact with him in a cuddly kind of way...maybe even a few treats too? Just to try and gain ponys trust....
I'm sure she's a busy person, but it might be worth asking.

 

[Birker2020]

As the title says my pony hates my yard owner, he's terrified of her, wont go near her, and generally dislikes her which wouldn't be a huge issue apart from the fact that he's kept on a small DIY yard and due to my hours as a teaching assistant (term time) 8.30 - 4.30 I pay her to turn out at 9am with another 4 ponies and bring him in before it gets dark at about 4pm.
Over Xmas I was off for a month so dealt with him daily but since I went back last week its been problematic; he wont be caught initially so she takes the other 2 in, goes back for him and another section A. He gives her the run about for another 15 mins, and on a few occasions she loses her patience gets the section A and leaves him out screaming and galloping up and down the fence line before she goes back for him when he will inveriably be caught.

It all reached a head last night when I got to the yard at 4.40pm to be greeted by YO and several liveries all waiting to verbally abuse me about my pony again messing about, not being caught, then charging YO in the field and knocking her over so she left him. I went up with a bridle (on their advice - I've never had to use one before to lead) caught him straight away and led him the 200 yards down the field and onto the yard with no issue. He was not walking right, to the point of looking lame behind, sweaty and shaking profusely which had soaked through his turnout rug and he was petrified. I stabled, changed his rug and fed him and he calmed down somewhat. I'm having a half day today so I can go up, see him in light, assess whether a vet is needed and bring him in myself.

He's my first owned pony (as a returning adult rider) he is quirky, a 1-1 pony which I know some people will disagree with and he's sensitive; not liking raised voices, hands, whips, or any rough treatment. Not that i'm saying YO has done any of that for a second.

Any advise much appreciated as my only option may be to pop him on grass livery so he doesn't need to come in nightly?

I think its very much how you approach a horse that gives it a clue to how the person trying to catch it is feeling, i.e. frustrated, in a rush, annoyed.
I know my friends horse reacted when 2 men went into its stable without introducing themselves over the door and it reacted very fearful, and my horse has done the save when the EDT and the vet both stormed in to his stable as he felt 'attacked'. Maybe the YO gives off the wrong vibes.

I've known friends horse be hard to catch because of the attitude of their owners. I must admit I am a bit slap dash and rush about but I had to try and calm things around for Lari, whereas Bailey couldn't have given a monkey's, but then I did have him for 17 years.

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

OK so as a YO I'm gonna be Devils Advocate here. I will probably offend, but here goes.

This pony has obviously got issues. I'm particularly concerned when you say he "knocked the YO over" in the field. In which case I do not blame her for "leaving him" there. I would do too, sorry, but nobody asks to be knocked over by another person's pony. If I was the YO here I'd be saying look sorry but I can't offer anything more than basic DIY livery and won't be handling this pony any more. Period.

I think you need to do two things: firstly I would suggest that you move - and find somewhere where this pony can find a more settled and suitable environment. Secondly I would respectfully suggest that you try and address some of his behavioural issues because if this happens again at another yard he is likely to be labelled as "dangerous". You may need professional help with this.

I dare say this isn't what you want to hear - like I said, I'm playing Devils Advocate. But as a YO sorry but I'd be asking you to move on, as politely as possible, as I wouldn't be prepared to put life & limb at risk.