Re the "haven't a clue" thread: what's the numptiest thing YOU'VE done? ;)

Many many things.... Does any one remember the brushing boots that used to have a raised centre part to them? Aged about 12, putting them on the first time instead on having the raised centre to the inside of the leg to prevent the knocking, I put them so the straps were on the mares tendon and the raised padding was on the front... protecting her shins for when she knocked down a jump!! D'oh! Still cringe now. lots of rather unfriendly people enjoyed a good laugh! :-O
 
Janah said:
Taking off a rug without undoing hind leg straps. Stood holding rug with horse still attached by back legs, in the field! Luckily horse stood still while i sorted straps out. Solved by removing straps and adding fillet string!!
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This isn't numpty, I do it all the time! Not on my horses as I've replaced them ll will fillet strings, but borrowed rugs or on my mates horses, and whoopsie! :D I just drop the rug on the floor and make them step out of it :cool:
 
I've got another one.

Went into the field shelter to find my gelding and found him with his head between some of the lats separating the shelter between two fields. He had his ear bent the wrong way and he looked miserable. I grabbed him in my panic to free him, when I did this it startled him and he leaped back easily as he was obviously not stuck and banged heads with me, splitting my lip.
 
Me and mum decided to take our homebred pony for a carriage drive,got half way up the drive and realised we forgot hi vis tabards,went to turn him round to find neither of us had attached the reins to the bit.good job he drives telepathically and we hadn't got onto the road...not done it since though!😁
 
TheLadyInBay said:
I've got another one.

Went into the field shelter to find my gelding and found him with his head between some of the lats separating the shelter between two fields. He had his ear bent the wrong way and he looked miserable. I grabbed him in my panic to free him, when I did this it startled him and he leaped back easily as he was obviously not stuck and banged heads with me, splitting my lip.
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:D:D Slapstick! :D
 
Well here goes.....

1. Daughter doing "round the world" and was then supposed to get off. I was stood at the side of Dolly. Daughter ended up with her back to me, both legs over one side. I assumed she was jumping off (as she does a lot) so gave her.....well....a little push :o she went flying, straight on her face, luckily in the indoor arena. :eek: She tells everyone......

2. Took them to a "fun" show with lots of races (daughter likes racing). They entered the "dress up" race. Daughter "dressed up" as a jockey - racing gear....fluffy noseband....numbers...the lot. It was actually a race, where you trot down, jump off, put on lots of coats and jumpers and run back. :o:o:o CRINGE!!!!! Didn't enter in the end (daughter was mortified) but got a sympathy 4th place as there was only 3 entries :D **SCORE**

3. Leading Dolly into her stable, decided to let her walk in ahead of me - so chucked lead rope over her neck. Dolly stopped bang in the middle of the doorway - refused to move - bum stuck right out into the path of the riding school ponies waiting to enter the arena for their lesson. No room to squeeze past - had to push and push her bum (she'd really planted!) and hope that she wouldn't kick out. Daughter stood looking at me with a "oh god you don't belong to me" face.

There's many more.......

:cool:
 
redmone said:
]

2. Took them to a "fun" show with lots of races (daughter likes racing). They entered the "dress up" race. Daughter "dressed up" as a jockey - racing gear....fluffy noseband....numbers...the lot. It was actually a race, where you trot down, jump off, put on lots of coats and jumpers and run back. :o:o:o CRINGE!!!!! Didn't enter in the end (daughter was mortified) but got a sympathy 4th place as there was only 3 entries :D **SCORE**

:cool:
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Awww poor D! That's soooo funny, sorry!xx
 
I once took my boys water bucket to fill up at the tap. Finished mucking out, got horse in, groomed, rode, then went home. Water bucket still sat happily by the tap!
Got a text from someone at the yard saying 'we've put Chico's water in for him' :o:D
 
Janah said:
Taking off a rug without undoing hind leg straps. Stood holding rug with horse still attached by back legs, in the field! Luckily horse stood still while i sorted straps out. Solved by removing straps and adding fillet string!
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Done this so many times! My lad has fillet strings so I forget that leg straps exist :rolleyes:

I've crossed the reins a few times but luckily have always noticed before mouting! :)

I attempted to mount from the ground in frount of a bunch of kids... forgetting to tighten my girth first was a mistake! I landed on my feet but I was sooo embarrassed especially since I'm the person who goes round checking the kids have their girths done up properly :o

This one isn't so much a numpty move as just an embarrasing one: I haven't legged anyone over the horse before but I was trying to leg up a girl one day who was a bit heavier than the people I usually leg up, she was a novice so didn't bounce very high and as I struggled to shove her up onto the 15.3 horse (I'm 5'4") I let rip the most enormous, loud fart :o:o:o could have died of embarrassment! :rolleyes:
 
Cutting the tail of the pony I owned at the time about 2 (probably 3) inches above his hocks... :o I was told two inches below but for some reason I had it in my head to do it above instead. Poor thing looked like a bit of an idiot for a while, but he was grey and it was winter so it worked out well :rolleyes:
 
Oh god I just remembered one:

My 15yo friend had just got her first horse and had very non horsey parents, as did our other friend and I, and so like us the horse was completely her responsibility. Now the horse she had bought was as yet unnamed, but she did know exactly what she wanted to name it. Unfortunately for my friend she decided to fill in the name request form at the yard with the two of us, and stupidly asked us for back-up name suggestions. Why it didn't occur to any of us that she might not get her first choice name I will never know, but it didn't.

So here was three blank name spaces that someone, somewhere far away was going to look at, so we thought we would give them a bit of a laugh. Anyway, when the passport came back the bad news was that she hadn't got her first choice name, but the good news was that she had got her second choice ;)

'Stupid Idiot Head' it was! She went ballistic and blamed the whole thing on us :o

On the plus side though I should think we did give some people in the passport office a bl***y good laugh.:D
 
DabDab said:
Oh god I just remembered one:

My 15yo friend had just got her first horse and had very non horsey parents, as did our other friend and I, and so like us the horse was completely her responsibility. Now the horse she had bought was as yet unnamed, but she did know exactly what she wanted to name it. Unfortunately for my friend she decided to fill in the name request form at the yard with the two of us, and stupidly asked us for back-up name suggestions. Why it didn't occur to any of us that she might not get her first choice name I will never know, but it didn't.

So here was three blank name spaces that someone, somewhere far away was going to look at, so we thought we would give them a bit of a laugh. Anyway, when the passport came back the bad news was that she hadn't got her first choice name, but the good news was that she had got her second choice ;)

'Stupid Idiot Head' it was! She went ballistic and blamed the whole thing on us :o

On the plus side though I should think we did give some people in the passport office a bl***y good laugh.:D
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I'm crying, some of these are hilarious! :D:D:D
 
I remember going to get my pony in when I was about 15. She was waiting by the gate as she was the last one out, and as usual I went in without shutting the gate behind me, went "come on then", and the naughty sod ran round me and right out through the gate. I was surprised enough when she did this as I brought her in like this everyday, often with just the rope round her neck, but I was horrified when instead of heading for the yard, she ran up the car park, along the drive, and straight out on to the road! It was a narrow country lane and fairly quiet, but it opened onto a main road and it was rush hour, so I was absolutely terrified as she charged off as fast as she could! God knows where she thought she was going, but I didn't know what to do apart from run after her, calling her name, even though I'd always been taught not to chase a loose horse. So I went hurtling down the road, shrieking "LOU" at the top of my voice. In the end, convinced she was going to run onto the main road and die, and realizing I was never going to catch her, I stopped running and yelled "LOU...STOP....NOW" in my loudest voice, and she froze and let me catch her. I was mortified when I got back to the yard, and I couldn't pretend nothing had happened as they'd all heard me shrieking :o. God I still go cold when I imagine what could have happened :o

And then there was the time when I decided it would be a good idea to try riding her back from the field while carrying a feed bucket full of lots of rattly things. Without a hat. In a headcollar. Quite understandably, she bucked me off :o. I have never been in such agony, I had to crawl up the field to catch her, and then led her, still crawling, back to her own field. I somehow got myself home (luckily my house is only at the bottom of the fields) but there was no way I could hide the fact that I couldn't walk, so I had to lie to my mum (I was 17 at the time) and pretend that she had knocked me over while I was leading her across the bridge from the field. I felt evil blaming her, but I knew my mum would go mad if I told her what really happened! I only told her what actually happened a few months ago, and I'm 23 now, so it took a while for the shame to fade :o

Clearly, I am too much of an idiot to own a horse. How the same one has survived nearly 12 years with me I will never know!
 
Swift08 said:
Cutting the tail of the pony I owned at the time about 2 (probably 3) inches above his hocks... :o I was told two inches below but for some reason I had it in my head to do it above instead. Poor thing looked like a bit of an idiot for a while, but he was grey and it was winter so it worked out well :rolleyes:
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Oh god, that's another one I've done (well actually my mum gets the blame for that one).

My first pony came from a riding school and ended up at ours on his own, he was six, so naturally there were fireworks and we all had no clue about horses. He used to terrorise me and run off with me all the time. One day I had to go down a steep field to get past some ice. There were two riders and horses about half a mile away further down. My pony set off running, I hadn't even got back on, the safety stirrups caught under my coat and I was dragged down the hill at a canter. Luckily I wasn't hurt, but was roaring my eyes out. One of the riders turned out to be the PC DC, who plonked me back on the pony and escorted me home, then giving my parents a lecture on how I needed lessons and that there was a PC rally the following Tuesday. They told my parents I would need a jacket and that the pony must be clean and trimmed. So mother got out the scissors the day before and trimmed my beautiful palomino's tail to just below the bone (thank god she didn't cut that bit off!) and also hacked his long flowing mane off, and off we went to PC looking like a real Thelwell cartoon. Thankfully we learned a lot from that point on!


Edited to add just read Sandi's HOW FUNNY!!
 
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When we moved to our present house I was horseless so one day went to a local sale and bought two New Forest colts for £40 each off a dealer chappie I knew, he said he would drop them off on the way home. I then spotted a lovely Welsh cob gelding and after much ado managed to buy him before he went through the ring. I mentioned the two colts I'd bought and the lady with the cob offered to deliver them along with my new lad.
So.....what did I do? Paid her for the cob (around 2k) loaded my colts onto the trailer, gave her my address and watched her drive away.........with all my ponies and all my money!

Fortunately she was honest and was drinking tea with my hubby when I arrived home with my heart in my mouth!! Numpty or what?
 
A few years back I did the divviest thing ever, I have absolutely no excuse either!

I was backing my 3yo. My facilities were a paddock that ran alongside a motorway, this paddock was also where said 3yo grazed. So we did our work session (essentially a bit of inhand stuff and then a quick sit on), all good and uneventful. As we were in the horses paddock I said to my helper there was no point taking back to stables and we would just untack where we were. I proceeded to remove the bridle, it then dawned on me that I had a 3yo loose in a paddock by a motorway wearing an expensive saddle. Friend & I still laugh in disbelief to this day
 
I remember buying a hanging cheek, looking at a picture of a pelham. Bless my mare, we must have had it in for about 2 weeks before someone spotted it and told me i had it in upside down!!:eek:
 
Ah... Another one! Went to catch my mare- went into her tack room (next to stable) to get her head collar, trogged all the way up the hill, rest of herd present, mare not. Searched in case she was asleep- no mare. Called part loaner- she didn't have her out, I panicked. After fifteen minutes in the next field shoutin just in case, no mare. I was on the phone to the police to report her stolen when I got back to the yard and she was stood looking at me- I'd forgotton to turn her out the night before... :o

Oh, and the time I called the police as ginger git had dumped me and ******ed off home, heading for an A road... I was so panicked and upset that I had an argument with the operator as she wouldn't scramble the helicopter to find him. I have NO idea why I was demanding a helicopter- what use would that be?! Totally panicked and clearly brain dead!
 
4x4 said:
And on my yard, some of my best numpties here a) Girl came to ride and got tacked up then let both stirrups down whilst still in the stable, even though she had to lead out through the stable and 2 x gates.
b) Same girl came to an in-hand show, they were running early so I scooted off to get the number and I said 'Quick, stick that in-hand bridle on that horse'. Came back to the box to find poor horse with an in-hand bridle on upside-down and the girl trying to to the throat latch up as a brow band!
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OP has written "you" in capitals.
 
I did a classic comedy sketch today out hacking,

Went out on a hack with my friend who've I've not seen for ages- was looking behind me to face my friend, having a good natter- turned back round to meet a branch straight in the face! it knocked me backwards and hurt my nose :( My lovely horse didn't spook so I managed to stay on.. just very embarrassed !
 
Took my horse's rug off without undoing the cross surcingles. Realised my mistake when I was past the point of no return and just as images of broken legs were flashing through my head my mare gave me a withering glare and stepped neatly out. If she could have rolled her eyes and tutted she would have.

I may also have chucked a rug on and got thd clips caught in my boot laces :rolleyes:
 
redmone said:
THIS. IS. AMAZING.

Crying laughing!!! :D:D:D
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Janah said:
Sandi, you should get a special award. Dying with laughter!!!
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Ha ha! Why thank you ;) Looking back on it now I can have a right good laugh about it but at the time you could have fried eggs on my face it was so red and hot!

I've also done the cutting the tail too short, I started with the best of intentions but no matter what I did it was always horrendously lop sided so I did the logical thing and just kept trimming a teeny bit at a time, forgetting to stand back and have a look at intervals :rolleyes:

Oh another stupid thing I've done - In my huge rush to tell the RI something important I forgot which way the gate to the school opened, I pulled (should have pushed!) it towards me and ran through... only it got stuck about a foot open and I ran face first into the metal hasp! :eek: I shook my head and pushed it open and it wasn't untill I'd blurted what I had to say to the RI Who was looking a bit shocked that she replied "I think you should go see to your face now" I put my hand up to it and it came away covered in blood, turns out I had a half inch cut just below my eyebrow (shudder to think what would have happened had it been slightly lower!) which had bled a ridiculous amount for all to see and panic about on my way to the toilet. I looked like a victom from a slasher film and now I have a scar :rolleyes:
 
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