Riding and jealous partners?

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Farma

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Does anyone have to deal with this at all? We have a mixture of men and women at my yard and if I ride out with a guy (straight one) it is an issue. Is this normal?
(I will add we have been together for many, many years, have a family and he has no reason to think I would cheat).
 
Is this the only instance in which your partner gets jealous or is it the same if you spend time with men in any other situation? It's not normal - and it's your partner's problem not yours.

Sorry to make light of it but what does he think you're going to get up to? Where would you put the horses if you were to stop for some naughtiness? I can't even stop for a wee with my horse, he'd probably knock me over trying to stand as close to me as possible!
 
No not normal but completely understandable as we horsey women are overwhelmingly desirable with our hat hair, sweaty armpits and feet, stinking of horse wee and poo and with hay in every crevice, who could resist us? Tell him to grow up and get a grip!
 
Not normal but is the man you're riding out with very attractive or something? Could your partner feel threatened by someone much younger/fitter etc?
 
Nope not younger and fitter! I am bemused by it, I don't really have any male (straight) friends away from the stables.

I guess he may be threatened that I am having fun with another guy and not him but he doesn't ride so don't have the choice there!
 
Pearlsasinger said:
I don't want to set the cat amongst the pigeons but, if this is a new reaction to a long-term situation, I would wonder what OH has started doing that he wasn't doing before.
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I see your thinking but I wouldn't say its a long term situation (maybe 7 months ish) as previous yards I have been on I've only ever ridden with gay men, this is probably the first yard with straight men to ride with aswell.
 
Out of interest: if he doesn’t ride- did he come to previous and current yard to figure out if your riding friends were gay or straight?! I can’t imagine how it would come up in conversation really. But my husband has never really asked who I’m riding with!
 
pippixox said:
Out of interest: if he doesn’t ride- did he come to previous and current yard to figure out if your riding friends were gay or straight?! I can’t imagine how it would come up in conversation really. But my husband has never really asked who I’m riding with!
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Yes he comes up a fair amount so he knows who people are at the yard and you can normally tell ;)
 
I had an ex boyfriend who said he had read that riding horses turned women on, and that historically men were not allowed to associate with women for at least an hour after they had ridden astride, as it was felt the women would be in such a state of arousal that they would be prone to inappropriate behaviour and it would not be fit and proper. Perhaps your partner has read the same? Perhaps if you offer to learn to ride sidesaddle to ease his worries??!

But no, not very rational on his part.
 
I wouldn't say that's normal. When our horses were on a yard with others I used to ride out with a male livery fairly often and my OH never so much as raised an eyebrow about it.
 
I;m not even sure I'd know the sexuality of men on yards I've been on - just not something that would come up.

Sounds like an open and honest and frank conversation is on the cards.

Have a think about whether this is all men in all situations, just horsey men or just one particular man and then go from there.
 
BBP said:
I had an ex boyfriend who said he had read that riding horses turned women on, and that historically men were not allowed to associate with women for at least an hour after they had ridden astride, as it was felt the women would be in such a state of arousal that they would be prone to inappropriate behaviour and it would not be fit and proper. Perhaps your partner has read the same? Perhaps if you offer to learn to ride sidesaddle to ease his worries??!
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Clearly horse women and our voracious sexual appetites shouldn't be out in public at all! :D
 
Is it possible that he is actually jealous of the time you spend with your horse, and realises that isn't going to get him anywhere, and he is displacing this into being jealous about you riding out with a man?
 
oldie48 said:
No not normal but completely understandable as we horsey women are overwhelmingly desirable with our hat hair, sweaty armpits and feet, stinking of horse wee and poo and with hay in every crevice, who could resist us? Tell him to grow up and get a grip!
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Do you women live all week round at the yard, and sleep in the dung heap, or what?

At the yards where I ride, all the women are impeccably turned out and fit as fiddles. They take off their helmets, give a little shake of the head, and long flowing locks tumble over their shoulders.

Their jodhpurs might have a little smudge of muck on the thigh, the odd bit of straw here or there, but that's done on purpose; it's like breaking a stem or tearing a leaf, when doing ikebana.

In fact, this old thread has a picture that could have been taken at the yard down the street from my house.
 
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Keith_Beef said:
Do you women live all week round at the yard, and sleep in the dung heap, or what?

At the yards where I ride, all the women are impeccably turned out and fit as fiddles. They take off their helmets, give a little shake of the head, and long flowing locks tumble over their shoulders.

Their jodhpurs might have a little smudge of muck on the thigh, the odd bit of straw here or there, but that's done on purpose; it's like breaking a stem or tearing a leaf, when doing ikebana.

In fact, this old thread has a picture that could have been taken at the yard down the street from my house.
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I think you ride at a RS?
There is a world of difference between the sartorial elegance that you can achieve riding a horse that someone else does all the work for and that when you keep your own horse!
Although, having said that, I keep mine at home and only wear riding clothes for riding, I muck out etc in my old clothes ;)
 
Pearlsasinger said:
I think you ride at a RS?
There is a world of difference between the sartorial elegance that you can achieve riding a horse that someone else does all the work for and that when you keep your own horse!
Although, having said that, I keep mine at home and only wear riding clothes for riding, I muck out etc in my old clothes ;)
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I ride at a RS for my weekly lesson and for a few extra outings in the forest, yes. But it's not like we just turn up, find the horse all beautifully prepared and ready to go.

We turn up at least half an hour before the lesson to brush, pick out hooves, tack up, then do a full hour of work. After the lesson, we take off the tack, brush and pick out again. I often stay behind after that for another half hour or hour to help out the instructors with feeding, greasing hooves or treating horses that have small injuries (applying creams, poultices, dressings).

And there are a few DIY liveries on the yard, too. All the women are as I described; the instructors who are there from before seven in the morning are just like I described if I go back up there at the end of the afternoon...

I also ride from a few other yards, with part or DIY livery; the women there are the same.
 
ycbm said:
Is it possible that he is actually jealous of the time you spend with your horse, and realises that isn't going to get him anywhere, and he is displacing this into being jealous about you riding out with a man?
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Its possible but over the last few years I have spent less time riding than I have over the many previous years, I only ride one horse now and have always had 2 at once so I don't think its that, he is antagonised by me going riding with any straight guy on my own, no problem at all with me going riding with any women, and my instructor is a guy he just happens to be gay, so that's fine apparently.

I don't know really, I thought maybe other people came across this but apparently not, flipping heck :(
 
Keith_Beef said:
Do you women live all week round at the yard, and sleep in the dung heap, or what?

At the yards where I ride, all the women are impeccably turned out and fit as fiddles. They take off their helmets, give a little shake of the head, and long flowing locks tumble over their shoulders.

Their jodhpurs might have a little smudge of muck on the thigh, the odd bit of straw here or there, but that's done on purpose; it's like breaking a stem or tearing a leaf, when doing ikebana.

In fact, this old thread has a picture that could have been taken at the yard down the street from my house.
Click to expand...

Ah, how French! Perhaps though you have lived there a long time and lost your English sense of humour? Non?
 
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