Roll up! Roll up!! Get the answer you're looking for RIGHT here. NO problem too big..

Faracat said:
Bow down everyone, the banana stick guru is here! :D
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worship.gif
 
irish_only said:
I have a very agile colt who has learnt to jump out of his field. If on one of his forays he happens to cover one of my liveries mares, should I charge her a full stud fee or offer a discount?
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Well if the livery can't keep control of her mare, then it's her own fault, isn't it? I bet the mare seduced your innocent colt. Charge her full price and perhaps an extra for leading your colt astray; I bet you NEVER had any trouble before...
 
Naturally said:
Dear PF

Please can you solve an arguement I have been having with my mate. I think that gelding is inhumane and the most cruel thing ever, and so is keeping stallions locked up all day. So I keep mine in a nice big field - not that they are grateful, when they're not having some lady love with their own girls, they are off over the barbed wire fence as soon as another horse rides past, but be that as it may.

My friend says I am the victim of indiscriminate breeding. Now I don't mind being called a victim, where there's a blame there's a claim etc, but she keeps on telling me it is cruel to bring so many new lives into this world. I personally don't see the problem, as they are nice and cute and to be honest they go walkies after a while anyway.

Who is right?
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Well, clearly YOU'RE right. It's only natural for horses to live at one with nature and want to shag like mad. Foals are adorable, everyone loves them and they don't even need looking after, veterinary treatment, training or ANYthing. The world needs loads of cute foalies- who cares what they grow up to be? ;)
 
Dear PF

United of HHO are trying to shut down my circus, and its not my fault my staff batter my animals.

What should I do?

Anon
 
Faracat said:
LOL.

Remember, if you don't like PF's advice, it's because you don't understand it. :rolleyes:
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:D:D PF is a god! (here we go, i'll get attacked for hero worship now!) She brings some much needed tounge in cheek smiles to a way to 'PC' forum.

PF: My foal is all fluffy and he takes an age to moult (sp?!) naturally, I don't want to use clippers because the bits get everywhere and I will probably end up clipping my hair extensions by accident. So my idea is to wax him all over, less mess and much tidyer finish. Just 3 questions really:

1: hot or cold wax
2: should I leave a saddle patch
3: Do you know where I can get a bum stencil that says the only good thing that came from my ex :D:D:D
 
OMG, I had forgoten about this thread,lol!!


Dear PF.

I am thinking of going to the sales to buy two shetlands for my grand daughter, but i don't have a horse box.
As they will be really small i was thinking of transporting them in the back of the car, do you think i should take the babyseat out first??
yours, Durrbrain.
 
Dear PF,

Glad I found you- I'm new! And to horses too- I have just been given an old horse, late twenties (it's dead cute, really curly hair and always wants a drink) its been in a field with lots of pretty yellow flowers for a few years- I've got one of them 'cub' saddles for it (should fit, it's about 6 foot tall maybe?)- my friend said that it should be ready for the show jumping scene in no time? I was hoping to do, now how do you spell it, puissance?

Also I got a nice two year old stallion- I'm not too sure what that means or what make it is- but I don't think this one is for jumping- i'm thinking maybe putting this one in a cart and hiring it out for weddings etc? My friend has a mare she said they could pull the cart as a pair-but I don't know how to train it to like the cart? I was maybe thinking of tying a brush to its tail to get it used to the scraping sounds? Will rope do it or is barbed wire better? i was going to put my 5 year old daughter in first anyway and then build up the weight.

the old horse didn't have a passport, but i said that was fine because until we get really good at jumping it won't leave the country. The younger one is called Clive but this is written underneath another name which has been crossed out, can't quite see what it said but maybe they decided Clive suited him better? Do you have any tips for me?
 
Dear PF

My cob is too short for my liking, should I:
A) put 5 inch shoes on him so he hobbles around breaking his legs?
B) put him on one of those stretchers that you see in those films that torture people to make his legs grow?
C) just go around with roller skates and make ramps for them to go over jumps?

Thanks, GTC
 
Naturally said:
Dear PF

United of HHO are trying to shut down my circus, and its not my fault my staff batter my animals.

What should I do?

Anon
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What??! Don't they understand that it is perfectly acceptable to beat, stab, jab, poke and generally abuse animals in the name of entertainment?? I'm sure your staff were perfectly justified in treating your animals a tad... roughly. Also, don't United of HHO understand that by shutting down your circus you'll go out of business and all your hard-working staff will be out of work?! Poor you! Perhaps you could scale down your operation a bit; get in some gerbils, hamsters, a budgie or two... no one really cares about those and you can fit the lot into the back of an estate. You mustn't give up providing sterling entertainment of this kind; everyone just LOVES to see animals doing humiliating tricks; it's traditional like bear baiting and must be continued for the good of the nation.
Good luck and have a Huggle.
 
queenbee said:
:D:D PF is a god! (here we go, i'll get attacked for hero worship now!) She brings some much needed tounge in cheek smiles to a way to 'PC' forum.

PF: My foal is all fluffy and he takes an age to moult (sp?!) naturally, I don't want to use clippers because the bits get everywhere and I will probably end up clipping my hair extensions by accident. So my idea is to wax him all over, less mess and much tidyer finish. Just 3 questions really:

1: hot or cold wax
2: should I leave a saddle patch
3: Do you know where I can get a bum stencil that says the only good thing that came from my ex :D:D:D
Click to expand...

Oh yes, I do understand; foal fluff is SO inconvenient. The temperature is creeping above freezing and you'll be wanting to ride your foal very soon, so definitely wax him. Hot wax will keep him warm, leave a saddle patch and I love the idea for the stencil ;) I believe that slogan is the top seller!
 
Fii said:
OMG, I had forgoten about this thread,lol!!


Dear PF.

I am thinking of going to the sales to buy two shetlands for my grand daughter, but i don't have a horse box.
As they will be really small i was thinking of transporting them in the back of the car, do you think i should take the babyseat out first??
yours, Durrbrain.
Click to expand...

I know for a fact that you can comfortably fit two shetlands into the back of an Astra estate. Not sure you can fit them on the back seat of a saloon, but it's worth a try. You might have to get another baby seat; safety first!!
 
Welcome back PapaFrita.I have a problem with my ponio.He sometimes tries to run off after I have been lunging him for an hour or so.I don't like that!Should I put weights on his legs to slow him down or tie the lunge rope round my wrist to help me keep a better grip?
 
Hi PF

I have a 15 year old ISH gelding. He's suffered a collateral ligament injury and now can only hack.
Can I breed a foal from him please?

Jen
 
so glad you are back - my mare is doing very badly at dressage but when i looked at the photos i could see why - we have NO dead sheep AT ALL :eek: - As its lamby time & she she is a big girl - i wonderd if i could just make her a lamby pendant - the lamb could double as extra rugging as she only has 3 rugs on at the moment & coudl keep her company when she is turned out - i dont want her standing with common non-dressage horsies - would i need to get her a parreli trained lamby or would any one do?
i bow down to your banana knowledge:)
 
Dear PF

I have a question which you may have already answered , i can't be assed to trawl through the billions of posts , and i've only just joined this forum as i've been in training for the olympics - i'm doing chav shooting on horseback - anyway my ponio is now getting really fat as the grass comes through and I've been told to reduce his food intake and also it's time to worm him. Please could you tell me where i can purchase these worms , my friend says i should follow a suitable worming programme but they're never on TV when i'm in...If i feed the tape-worm Will i have to cut out the feed as the tape worm will just eat it up inside ponio??

, if the answer is on one of the DVDs 1-10 then please let me now.

Thanks fat- eddery.
 
Dear PF

Surely everyone knows that you don't need to put platform shoes on horses to make them taller. You just don't ever get their feet trimmed. That way you get pretty frilly bits round the edges and sometimes if you are really lucky you get those curly toed feet as well. Saves money too!
 
This has to be my all time favourite thread. I have learnt so much. It needs to be made compulsory reading before anyone gets a horse. It's just loaded with info, hints and tips.
 
This is one of the funniest and yet horrifyingly real things I have read in a long time.

Sadly, the insanity of it is true.

Our recent experience (and NEVER to be repeated) of selling a horse (cheap as we had no job for it here) was - well - enlightening to say the least.

Sorry if this offends anyone.

But I had so many people contact me about the horse I lost who I had returned calls/emails etc.. and spent my evenings on the phone to people.

The horse was being 'sold from the field' as been off work 4 months- so why ask for a saddle?
Why ask suitable for beginner?
Why see the price and then send emails asking for loans, asking for the horse 'for free' explaining you don't have much money and so funds are limited but 'home for life'.

how can that be a 'home for life' - how on earth if a person can't afford to purchase the horse do they intend to look after the horse?
What about feed costs and any other future costs that may arise?

Just because they like the idea of owning a horse - are they really being serious about their ability to afford one?

I had one person ask to view it, tell me she had no money and would I purchase a train ticket for her to come view the horse?????!!!!!!

In the 10 years since I last sold a horse - what on earth is going out there.

I could write a book about the viewers to this horse!

I know this may sound awful, but quality of life for these animals is paramount as far as I am concerned, and I would rather an animal who was unsound or whatever PTS than end up suffering in a the 'sales cycle' (being shipped about always for sale) or being in the wrong hands and someone being hurt, injured or worse.

Sorry for the long post, ahh got it off my chest.
 
dear PF

my 17.2 thoroughbred mare weighs 30 kg, yes 30kg. i know she is really over weight, well about to drop dead!!! but i can't seem to get her to loose any. she hasn't been fed for the past 3 months, she is fully clipped with no rug and is in the dirt field so she can't eat anything. we have had freezing tempuratures here for the past month and tempurates are reching -10. i am really stuck for thoughts. oh yeah also there is no shelter in her paddock she is in the middle of a 30 acre open field, with grass all around her so hope she may freeze some weight off!!! your help would be great.

my other problem is an underweight 12hh pony at 700kg. he get fed this three times aday:

1stubbs scoop competition mix
1 scp weight gain mix
1scp alpha-A oil
1 scp conditioning mix

this doesn't seem very much should i up it?? then maybe he will put on more weight. and he is also in a 30 acre field of rich grass up to his eyes. no joke!!!!
 
Dear PF, my neice want to go to Pony Club, I feel that she could take my 16.2 hh 2 year old warmblood. It would be good for the horse to have some schooling under the eye of the experienced instructors there,and as my neice is only 6 years old the two babies together should learn very quickly and grow up together creating a strong bond. They should prove to be natural show jumpers. The Pony Club DC disagrees. I think the DC is an old fashioned BHS type,and as she breds little bitsy poniois just wants my neice to buy one! bloomin'cheek! My warm blood does parelli and stuff and lokks good in a western saddle. Why cant my neice ride her in a cowboy hat? it looks best with the western tack. Will you write to the PC committee and tell them how old fashioned they are! I know I am right
Western and Warmblood Fan.
 
PapaFrita said:
Absolutely; they do it to Tennessee Walking Horses all the time!! Or better still, get him some stilts.
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Thank you PF for answering my question, my farrier is coming next week so will ask him (hopefully he won't charge too much) may also ask him to reccommend me a brain surgeon at the same time to examine my horses pea size brain
 
horsesatemymoney said:
Dear PF,

Glad I found you- I'm new! And to horses too- I have just been given an old horse, late twenties (it's dead cute, really curly hair and always wants a drink) its been in a field with lots of pretty yellow flowers for a few years- I've got one of them 'cub' saddles for it (should fit, it's about 6 foot tall maybe?)- my friend said that it should be ready for the show jumping scene in no time? I was hoping to do, now how do you spell it, puissance?

Also I got a nice two year old stallion- I'm not too sure what that means or what make it is- but I don't think this one is for jumping- i'm thinking maybe putting this one in a cart and hiring it out for weddings etc? My friend has a mare she said they could pull the cart as a pair-but I don't know how to train it to like the cart? I was maybe thinking of tying a brush to its tail to get it used to the scraping sounds? Will rope do it or is barbed wire better? i was going to put my 5 year old daughter in first anyway and then build up the weight.

the old horse didn't have a passport, but i said that was fine because until we get really good at jumping it won't leave the country. The younger one is called Clive but this is written underneath another name which has been crossed out, can't quite see what it said but maybe they decided Clive suited him better? Do you have any tips for me?
Click to expand...

Ok, well your old horse has got a condition called 'cushions'; it's absolutely normal for old horses to have cushions, and sometimes pillows as well. One of the symptoms is curly hair, but it makes him more attractive, should you ever wish to sell him, to prospective purchases as you can say he's a Bashkir Curly and hypoallergenic :D
20 is not to old to become a successful showjumper but you must get cracking ASAP and work him really hard to get him as fit as possible sooner rather than later.
As for your stallion; 2 is old enough for him to start working and with the price of petrol as it is, you should make him tow your car around; Result! You save tonnes of money and exercise your horse at the same time ;) Clive is a lovely name. I'm sure it is much better than the one he had and crossing the name out and putting another in is the standard name-changing procedure for all reputable breed societies.
 
GypsyTheCob said:
Dear PF

My cob is too short for my liking, should I:
A) put 5 inch shoes on him so he hobbles around breaking his legs?
B) put him on one of those stretchers that you see in those films that torture people to make his legs grow?
C) just go around with roller skates and make ramps for them to go over jumps?

Thanks, GTC
Click to expand...

Ah, well any of those three will work, but perhaps the 5 inch shoes are the most practical solution? HOWEVER if your cob is still under 7 he is still growing and if you feed him loads and loads he will grow at LEAST another hand. Don't worry if he starts to look a bit 'round'; this is how cobs are supposed to look. In fact, as a guide, a cob should be as wide as he is tall. Hope this helps :)
 
eahotson said:
Welcome back PapaFrita.I have a problem with my ponio.He sometimes tries to run off after I have been lunging him for an hour or so.I don't like that!Should I put weights on his legs to slow him down or tie the lunge rope round my wrist to help me keep a better grip?
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear you're having trouble with your ponio. He's very naughty to try to get out of his work like that after only and hour. You should work him at least an hour longer, and definitely pack his boots with lead to slow him down. Tying the lunge rope around your wrist is a bit dangerous as you will need a whip in each hand. Tie the rope round your waist; result!
Hope this helps ;)
 
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