Roll up! Roll up!! Get the answer you're looking for RIGHT here. NO problem too big..

Oh PF! So glad you're here :D :D :D

I have fifty horses. All competition beasties. I find I'm having problems exercising them all every day... Can I ride one and just lead the others? Can we jump? I'm practising for the puissance, so could probably get ten over next to each other?

Going to have to do something. Can't afford staff or more saddles and I do have to watch m'day time telly :cool:
 
Kitsune said:
Hi PF

I have a 15 year old ISH gelding. He's suffered a collateral ligament injury and now can only hack.
Can I breed a foal from him please?

Jen
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Hmm, well, I know fuddy duddies will say not to breed from a gelding, and especially one who has been retired out of injury, but I think that's rubbish and you should go for it!! Try and breed a coloured foal though, as those are always popular, should you decide not to keep it.
 
Right, Papa Frita - I have a bone to pick with you!! I posted a while ago to tell you that, in spite of all the money I spend buying my lovely dressage horsey and obtaining all the latest gear (matchy matchy and all), I have yet to win a Grand Prix. I have been riding for at least four years now and have lessons regularly - at least once a month. You pointed out that all the top dressage horses seem to be black so I sold my old one and bought a shiny new black one - but guess what? Not a single rosette. I changed the colour of the matchy matchy stuff and bought myself a whole new outfit, but still nothing. Obviously this horsey will have to go too, but what colour should I try next? And should I get a high-profile trainer?
 
PapaFrita said:
Ok, well your old horse has got a condition called 'cushions'; it's absolutely normal for old horses to have cushions, and sometimes pillows as well. One of the symptoms is curly hair, but it makes him more attractive, should you ever wish to sell him, to prospective purchases as you can say he's a Bashkir Curly and hypoallergenic :D
20 is not to old to become a successful showjumper but you must get cracking ASAP and work him really hard to get him as fit as possible sooner rather than later.
As for your stallion; 2 is old enough for him to start working and with the price of petrol as it is, you should make him tow your car around; Result! You save tonnes of money and exercise your horse at the same time ;) Clive is a lovely name. I'm sure it is much better than the one he had and crossing the name out and putting another in is the standard name-changing procedure for all reputable breed societies.
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Thanks PF- feel much better for that. As it happens I do have a naughty pony for sale, the vet said I should 'strangles?' it and not move it so I thought it was best to hold an open day for people to see him. He's only little so will prob fit in a car to take him home. I don't really want to sell but I've recently put on weight (18 stone) and the judge have said I am too big for PC mounted games- what do they know? I was thinking of trading it in for something a little bigger, i went to one of those sales and saw a lovely skinny ex race horse needing a new home- thought I would save loads of money because I won't have to feed it (who wants a fat racehorse) and maybe I can get it back racing- seem one of them spur things to make it go really quick
 
rubysmum said:
so glad you are back - my mare is doing very badly at dressage but when i looked at the photos i could see why - we have NO dead sheep AT ALL :eek: - As its lamby time & she she is a big girl - i wonderd if i could just make her a lamby pendant - the lamb could double as extra rugging as she only has 3 rugs on at the moment & coudl keep her company when she is turned out - i dont want her standing with common non-dressage horsies - would i need to get her a parreli trained lamby or would any one do?
i bow down to your banana knowledge:)
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*nods understandingly* Ah yes, an easy mistake to make. People will have you believe that you can do dressage is a bridle with NO bling and NO sheepskin. They are LYING because they are jealous. You must go out immediately and procure as much sheepskin as you can and a pet lamb as well. BUT it must not be trained by Parelli; you need a Huggly trained lamb as these are correctly attuned to the needs of the top class dressage horse. Only £10,500.
 
paddy irish said:
Dear PF

I have a question which you may have already answered , i can't be assed to trawl through the billions of posts , and i've only just joined this forum as i've been in training for the olympics - i'm doing chav shooting on horseback - anyway my ponio is now getting really fat as the grass comes through and I've been told to reduce his food intake and also it's time to worm him. Please could you tell me where i can purchase these worms , my friend says i should follow a suitable worming programme but they're never on TV when i'm in...If i feed the tape-worm Will i have to cut out the feed as the tape worm will just eat it up inside ponio??

, if the answer is on one of the DVDs 1-10 then please let me now.

Thanks fat- eddery.
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If you want to get a suitable worming programme, it'll have to be on cable as terrestrial TV is no good at all in that respect. The best worms to get are earth worms as they will mulch your horse's food in its stomach and make it easier to digest. They won't hurt your horse at all and you will be able to reduce all feeds by half. How's that for a moneysaving tip? I happen to have some Huggly worms available at only £999 each. You'll need about 30
and I'll throw in the DVDs which have other VERY valuable tips on horse management and training.
 
Tying the lunge rope around your wrist is a bit dangerous as you will need a whip in each hand. Tie the rope round your waist; result!
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I am surprised at you PF surely round the neck would be better?
 
Dear PF,

I have bought a new WOW saddle with my name in diamante at the back. My stirrups are so long my toes only just reach them. I ride in draw reins only and don't wear a riding hat. I say things like 'he's moving off his hocks a bit'. But I am still not winning any competitions. What is wrong with my horse?
 
Flicker said:
Dear PF,

I have bought a new WOW saddle with my name in diamante at the back. My stirrups are so long my toes only just reach them. I ride in draw reins only and don't wear a riding hat. I say things like 'he's moving off his hocks a bit'. But I am still not winning any competitions. What is wrong with my horse?
Click to expand...

PF is pretty good at sorting out this sort of issue - I've just posted an extension to a similar query that I sent her last time-I think we will both be able to learn a lot!!
 
PF - I bought a new ponio 2 weeks ago, a 18month old foal. I have since backed her and she wouldn't stop bucking :( So I put her in a double bridle and draw reins. What more can I do to stop this naughty behaviour?? She is a TB with tiny legs but I am only 25 stone!! Please help!

Your sincerely
IAmACompleteAndUtterIdiotWhoShouldNeverBeAllowedToOwnAHorse
 
Dear PF,

My hamster is very flat. Please help. I have the Huggly Horsemanship for Hamsters DVDs and banana stick, and have followed your instructions to the letter, but Henrietta the Happy Hippy Hamster just won't get up and be 3d any more. I'm beginning to think that maybe asking her to lift a bag of sugar was a bit too soon, but your DVD told me I was doing a "good job" when i watched it while practicing my Hamster Havock game so it must have been ok :confused:

I loves my animals I do and need help for Henrietta. Have you got anything else I can purchase which might help?

love and kisses,

Hattie the Hamster Holiday Entertainer
 
Dear PF,

I offer counselling for overworked Agony Aunts and Problem Solvers. For a very modest fee (£1000 plus VAT per week, free binder with Part One of the course) you can stay in luxurious accommodation (my spare room) and enjoy a home made boiled egg every breakfast before you spend a fun-filled day of housework, ironing, filing, plastering and general stable duties. Nothing better on the market for taking your mind off other people's pesky problems and you will return to work refreshed and full of the joys of Spring. *

Please forward your bank details to my account in the Caymen Islands.

Best wishes

Mrs B

PS Please bring your own towel, wine and spitoon.

* Please note, this is not a guarantee
 
Dear PF,

I've got a bit of a problem. I'm 5 foot and weigh 5 stone, but my horse is only an 18hh shire. I feel like i'm far too big, I mean my feet nearly reach the end of the saddle flap :eek:

Have you got anything to make him grow taller? He's only 32, so he shouldn't have reached his full height yet.

Thank you, Imastupididiot :)
 
Thistle said:
Dear PF

Surely everyone knows that you don't need to put platform shoes on horses to make them taller. You just don't ever get their feet trimmed. That way you get pretty frilly bits round the edges and sometimes if you are really lucky you get those curly toed feet as well. Saves money too!
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And if their toes curl, you can just wheel them around :p
 
CHH said:
This is one of the funniest and yet horrifyingly real things I have read in a long time.

Sadly, the insanity of it is true.

Our recent experience (and NEVER to be repeated) of selling a horse (cheap as we had no job for it here) was - well - enlightening to say the least.

Sorry if this offends anyone.

But I had so many people contact me about the horse I lost who I had returned calls/emails etc.. and spent my evenings on the phone to people.

The horse was being 'sold from the field' as been off work 4 months- so why ask for a saddle?
Why ask suitable for beginner?
Why see the price and then send emails asking for loans, asking for the horse 'for free' explaining you don't have much money and so funds are limited but 'home for life'.

how can that be a 'home for life' - how on earth if a person can't afford to purchase the horse do they intend to look after the horse?
What about feed costs and any other future costs that may arise?

Just because they like the idea of owning a horse - are they really being serious about their ability to afford one?

I had one person ask to view it, tell me she had no money and would I purchase a train ticket for her to come view the horse?????!!!!!!

In the 10 years since I last sold a horse - what on earth is going out there.

I could write a book about the viewers to this horse!

I know this may sound awful, but quality of life for these animals is paramount as far as I am concerned, and I would rather an animal who was unsound or whatever PTS than end up suffering in a the 'sales cycle' (being shipped about always for sale) or being in the wrong hands and someone being hurt, injured or worse.

Sorry for the long post, ahh got it off my chest.
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*gulp*
 
horsey mad matt said:
dear PF

my 17.2 thoroughbred mare weighs 30 kg, yes 30kg. i know she is really over weight, well about to drop dead!!! but i can't seem to get her to loose any. she hasn't been fed for the past 3 months, she is fully clipped with no rug and is in the dirt field so she can't eat anything. we have had freezing tempuratures here for the past month and tempurates are reching -10. i am really stuck for thoughts. oh yeah also there is no shelter in her paddock she is in the middle of a 30 acre open field, with grass all around her so hope she may freeze some weight off!!! your help would be great.

my other problem is an underweight 12hh pony at 700kg. he get fed this three times aday:

1stubbs scoop competition mix
1 scp weight gain mix
1scp alpha-A oil
1 scp conditioning mix

this doesn't seem very much should i up it?? then maybe he will put on more weight. and he is also in a 30 acre field of rich grass up to his eyes. no joke!!!!
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Blimey, I'm flummoxed.... You're doing all the right things... I think your main concern though is your underweight pony. Put him in the field as soon as poss! Poor darling must be so hungry. As for the TB; I've never known a TB to be so hard to shift weight off!!
 
Horsesforever1 said:
Dear PF, my neice want to go to Pony Club, I feel that she could take my 16.2 hh 2 year old warmblood. It would be good for the horse to have some schooling under the eye of the experienced instructors there,and as my neice is only 6 years old the two babies together should learn very quickly and grow up together creating a strong bond. They should prove to be natural show jumpers. The Pony Club DC disagrees. I think the DC is an old fashioned BHS type,and as she breds little bitsy poniois just wants my neice to buy one! bloomin'cheek! My warm blood does parelli and stuff and lokks good in a western saddle. Why cant my neice ride her in a cowboy hat? it looks best with the western tack. Will you write to the PC committee and tell them how old fashioned they are! I know I am right
Western and Warmblood Fan.
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Oh, what a wonderful idea! Horse babies and human babies go SO well together. All the Disney films bear this fact out; they will learn together and become two hearts beating as one... people will write books and films about them! Don't worry about the DC, she's stuck in the dark ages and your daughter will be absolutely fine without a hat doing Parelli and looking cute in her western tack. You stick to your guns and don't forget to post your vids on Youtube!! :)
 
MrsMozart said:
Oh PF! So glad you're here :D :D :D

I have fifty horses. All competition beasties. I find I'm having problems exercising them all every day... Can I ride one and just lead the others? Can we jump? I'm practising for the puissance, so could probably get ten over next to each other?

Going to have to do something. Can't afford staff or more saddles and I do have to watch m'day time telly :cool:
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No problem, Mrs M. This is what you want: http://www.kikkulimethod.com/
 
MrsMozart said:
Oh PF! So glad you're here :D :D :D

I have fifty horses. All competition beasties. I find I'm having problems exercising them all every day... Can I ride one and just lead the others? Can we jump? I'm practising for the puissance, so could probably get ten over next to each other?

Going to have to do something. Can't afford staff or more saddles and I do have to watch m'day time telly :cool:
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Yes, you can ride one and lead at least 6 others at the same time. If your jumps are wide enough you can jump them as well. Who needs staff? They can all live out and of course they can all wear the same saddle; you can only put your bottom on one at any time, after all.
Daytime TV requires your full attention at all times!!
 
PapaFrita said:
Blimey, I'm flummoxed.... You're doing all the right things... I think your main concern though is your underweight pony. Put him in the field as soon as poss! Poor darling must be so hungry. As for the TB; I've never known a TB to be so hard to shift weight off!!
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he is already in the 30 arcres so not sure what to do, he had three heavy weight combos on but i have now put a duvet under them to make him warmer. the thoroughbred is now being lunged for 3 hours, and galloped for another 5 on the near by gallops by a girl that has never touched a horse in her life but is learning fast!!
 
camilla4 said:
Right, Papa Frita - I have a bone to pick with you!! I posted a while ago to tell you that, in spite of all the money I spend buying my lovely dressage horsey and obtaining all the latest gear (matchy matchy and all), I have yet to win a Grand Prix. I have been riding for at least four years now and have lessons regularly - at least once a month. You pointed out that all the top dressage horses seem to be black so I sold my old one and bought a shiny new black one - but guess what? Not a single rosette. I changed the colour of the matchy matchy stuff and bought myself a whole new outfit, but still nothing. Obviously this horsey will have to go too, but what colour should I try next? And should I get a high-profile trainer?
Click to expand...
You mean you didn't immediately book a full course of lessons with Carl Hester? *sigh* Well there you go!! If you'd had lessons with Carl you'd be at LEAST as good as he is by now. Well, all that's left for you to do is to get a big chestnut like Alf and to get lessons with Laura B. All matchy matchy accessories MUST be taupe.
 
PapaFrita said:
Yes, you can ride one and lead at least 6 others at the same time. If your jumps are wide enough you can jump them as well. Who needs staff? They can all live out and of course they can all wear the same saddle; you can only put your bottom on one at any time, after all.
Daytime TV requires your full attention at all times!!
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I had a portable tv cradle fitted to the earpiece of my pony's bridle - now I can keep up with daytime tv whilst hacking round the roads! But the drivers keep screeching up behind me - what more can I do to make them be more careful? I already ride down the middle of the road so they can't miss me, and I don't wear any of that gaudy distracting yellow stuff so there's no excuse they mistook me for a christmas tree either :( what else can I do??
 
PF, are you still there?? I have an important question for you.
I am looking for a new horse but there seems be no suitable horses for sale. I thought with the market like it was it would be easy to find one!
I only have a few simple requirements too....
It must be a flashy horse, so nothing hairy or cobby, but I hate TBs or anything related to a TB. It must be quiet enough for young children who have never ridden to ride, but I fancy doing quite a bit of competing so I am looking for something well schooled to GP level dressage and pops a 1.30m showjumps, and not a plod, but good in traffic.
Must be good to travel, shoe, clip, catch obvs.
It will live out so must be hardy but as I have said I don't want a native or hairy horse. I must be a weight carrier but not a heavy build. I don't want to feed it either so it must be a good doer.
I mustn't have a white hair on it as I don't like cleaning horses.
I think these reasonable demands shoulkd be within my £200 budget :confused:
Stupid people selling horses want SO much money! Any ideas??

(p.s I have seen an actual wanted advert very similar to this) :eek:
 
dominobrown said:
PF, are you still there?? I have an important question for you.
I am looking for a new horse but there seems be no suitable horses for sale. I thought with the market like it was it would be easy to find one!
I only have a few simple requirements too....
It must be a flashy horse, so nothing hairy or cobby, but I hate TBs or anything related to a TB. It must be quiet enough for young children who have never ridden to ride, but I fancy doing quite a bit of competing so I am looking for something well schooled to GP level dressage and pops a 1.30m showjumps, and not a plod, but good in traffic.
Must be good to travel, shoe, clip, catch obvs.
It will live out so must be hardy but as I have said I don't want a native or hairy horse. I must be a weight carrier but not a heavy build. I don't want to feed it either so it must be a good doer.
I mustn't have a white hair on it as I don't like cleaning horses.
I think these reasonable demands shoulkd be within my £200 budget :confused:
Stupid people selling horses want SO much money! Any ideas??

(p.s I have seen an actual wanted advert very similar to this) :eek:
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I have just the one for you (I presume you made a typo and your budget is actually £20,000)

He has already featured in this thread, he was going to be sold to Laura B but she wasted my time and didn't turn up!

picture.php


As you can see, he's a great allrounder. He could even play for England, imagine how much he would be worth then!

I am sure PF would recommend him, she always spoke highly of him! :rolleyes:
 
Snoozinsusan said:
I have just the one for you (I presume you made a typo and your budget is actually £20,000)

He has already featured in this thread, he was going to be sold to Laura B but she wasted my time and didn't turn up!

picture.php


As you can see, he's a great allrounder. He could even play for England, imagine how much he would be worth then!

I am sure PF would recommend him, she always spoke highly of him! :rolleyes:
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pmsl i love this thread!!!!:D:D:D
 
deaar PF

i have recently bought a 16.2 hh black mare, supposedly grand prix dressage horse for whom i payed £60k for. we have really expensive tack and school in double bridle and draw reins but having won any competitions. i'll show a pic of her and see what you think

Marley-the-horse_26982t.jpg


do you think she was worth the money??


(p.s this isn't my horse i got it from google images, so don't tell me off for cruelty)
 
Snoozinsusan said:
I have just the one for you (I presume you made a typo and your budget is actually £20,000)

He has already featured in this thread, he was going to be sold to Laura B but she wasted my time and didn't turn up!

picture.php


As you can see, he's a great allrounder. He could even play for England, imagine how much he would be worth then!

I am sure PF would recommend him, she always spoke highly of him! :rolleyes:
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Ah yes though he is grey and has hair I will put it down as a maybe... is he exactly 15.25464cm? Anything bigger or smaller is just no good.
Sorry I did make a typo about the price, my budget is £20...
:D
 
horsey mad matt said:
deaar PF

i have recently bought a 16.2 hh black mare, supposedly grand prix dressage horse for whom i payed £60k for. we have really expensive tack and school in double bridle and draw reins but having won any competitions. i'll show a pic of her and see what you think

Marley-the-horse_26982t.jpg


do you think she was worth the money??


(p.s this isn't my horse i got it from google images, so don't tell me off for cruelty)
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As PF is currently here may I give some suggestions???
That horse is just pure fat, it needs to lose a tonne more weight to do well. Galloping it around on the roads should do the job :D
The main area you are going wrong is the lack of bling and dead sheep. I would start with investing with a blingy deadsheep leather headcoller pronto.
On the plus she is black so naturally must be a dressage horse... :D:p
 
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