Roll up! Roll up!! Get the answer you're looking for RIGHT here. NO problem too big..

Desperately need advice. I have a colt who has just had his 1st birthday, he is about 15hh - I think he will make about 11.2hh when he finishes growing because his daddy is a thoroughbred and his mummy is RID (this does concern me as whoever owned her must have wanted RID of her and I don't know why :confused: ) I have never handled him but he does love me. He gives me lots of love bites and tries to hug me with his front legs if I get too close to him when this doesn't work he swings round and tries to hug me with his back legs. He obviously adores me so much and he looks sooooo cute with his ears pinned back. When he is hungry he sometimes gallops towards me with his mouth wide open and I can see all his teeth. He is soooo cute :D my son is now 5 and I plan for them to do the olympics together. My son doesn't ride yet but I wondered have I left it too late to plonk my darling child on top so they can be ready for 2012. Should I have put him up last year? Am i going to have to wait until 2016 :( I thought they could do the sj and the eventing. I don't have a shiny diamond thing that goes above their eyes under their fringe so don't think we can do the dressage :mad: Also I have tried to lasso him but can't get him - he is soooo fun and loves playing chasies with me. Sometimes I chase and sometimes he does. Anyways pleassseeee helppppp me.
Thanks from very experienced with young horses
Well done on establishing such a close relationship with your horse. He clearly sees you as his best friend. It's not too late for you to get your son to do dressage at the 2012 olympics, but the sparkly (that thing that goes over their eyes) browband is essential and all your bandages (yes, you will need these- and so will your horse ;) ) and saddle pads MUST match. You don't need to buy a hat for your son; no serious dressage rider wears a hat. Do all of these things and everyone will take you seriously.
 
Dear PF,

My horse has just been PTS, however I've changed my mind. As I think medicine and science is a load of rubbish. Do you think a combination of arnica, Aloe vera, tea tree oil and homeopathic water will make him better? Reading through other posts here the aforementioned seem to cure everything else. Or would you recommend a different approach, possibly a herbal supplement or some sort or reiki perhaps?

PS what he best natural remedy for Rigamortis?

Ah, well, I'm not going to lie to you; Death is quite serious and not all deaths have a positive prognosis :( Your best bet is probably embalming. Your horse WILL be quieter than usual and hacks might seem a bit sedate, but he will be cheaper to feed and won't need mucking out :)
Result!! :)
 
Ah, well, I'm not going to lie to you; Death is quite serious and not all deaths have a positive prognosis :( Your best bet is probably embalming. Your horse WILL be quieter than usual and hacks might seem a bit sedate, but he will be cheaper to feed and won't need mucking out :)
Result!! :)

Bad PapaFrita - you forgot to tell her to get her saddle refitted as horsey will almost certainly have lost weight!!
 
Dear PapaFrita

We have a lovely horse and want to do dressage with him. However I don't have matching pads and bandages, would it be ok to wash the boring white ones with some jeans to get a blue colour or do they have to be special Anky ones. Also I like wearing hats, is it really better to train without one, it's what all the best dressage riders do.
Also the horse can do all sorts of fancy sideways dance moves. Would he be better on strictly come dancing, then I can really dress up all matchy matchy?
 
Hi Papafrita!
I have 2 liitttle questions .
1.I want to go hunting with my 14hh pony but she gets so excited she runs off really really fast.I heard that if you go right to the front ,in front of everybody , and people shout -shes overtaken the master!!- then your doing really well and that she should calm down. But if she gets really tired , then I should just smack her on, coz its her fault for going to fast at the beginning.
Yes, the correct protocol is that you must go to the front and stay there at all costs, even if your horse is really tired (probably just pretending in any case) and smacking is a perfectly acceptable way to get her to keep going

2. I also want to do dressage ( it should be fine in the same day right?) but loads of people have these bandages on their horses? I dont know what they do so I have tried cutting her legs so the vet has to bandage them ..Will this help? I will also sellotape her head to her chest to get "rolkur - the easy way" .Maybe i saw it on one of your dvds? XX

(NOTE - I did once meet a woman , who was a good local dressage competitior and asked her whilst she was doing the bandages why she used them .She said she didnt know, but everyone else had them .She had already been using them for about 5 years? !! )
*tut tut* not necessary to cut your horse to put bandages on her; they are there so you can match other things to them; Saddle pad, funky headband/earwarmers that you can use instead of a hat (proper dressage riders don't wear hats) Your rollkur device should also match them although I don't really advocate 'gadgets' as they're not natural
 
Hi I have a really big problem , everytime I try and do my horses girth up my horse tryes to eat me , do I just not use a girth?I thought if I didn't use one it might save me time aswell. thanks

It is possible to ride without a girth, after all, these are not natural. However, it would be easier to nip the nipping in the bud (see what I did there?) and you will achieve this by feeding lots of treats. If your horse is too busy stuffing his face with carrots, he won't have time nor the inclination to bite YOU. Good luck :)
 
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Hi

I have a pony called toffee she has arthritis but I really miss jumping if I just bute her up could I go on a sponsored ride and do lots of jumping again?

Thanks. I really miss jumping. X x

Certainly bute her up. I'm sure she loves jumping and it would be cruel not to allow her to do what she likes, even if in the long run she becomes crippled by her arthritis and has to be put down. It's the same principle as letting children play in the road or with poison ivy; they want to do it, let 'em get on with it...
 
Actually after thinking about it I have decided that keeping her even captive is cruel so have decided to set her free. How do I go about it? She will need to learn to cross the road and take her sweet itch rug on and off. Do you think every one all over the equestrian world will see the error of their ways.

She will also have to learn to phone the vet for her vaccinations and to get wormer, and a barefoot trimmer to sort out her feet. You will have to start teaching her immediately. With a bit of luck the whole world will see your good work and do the same for their horses...
 
Dear PapaFrita

We have a lovely horse and want to do dressage with him. However I don't have matching pads and bandages, would it be ok to wash the boring white ones with some jeans to get a blue colour or do they have to be special Anky ones. Also I like wearing hats, is it really better to train without one, it's what all the best dressage riders do.
Also the horse can do all sorts of fancy sideways dance moves. Would he be better on strictly come dancing, then I can really dress up all matchy matchy?

Oh dear, I'm not sure I see the way forward as not matching means you will be unable to get your horse to work correctly, and it's no good just getting the same colour, they have to be designer brands. As for wearing a hat... well, everyone knows that if you're a proper rider you don't need a hat and it's not really important anyway as, unlike colour coordinating all your gear, it doesn't affect your horse's way of going...
I understand you must be very demoralised, but once you've got all your gear, you will be qualified to judge dressage as well as ride it, and everyone will be obliged to listen to your opinion when you give, whether they want to or not.
Oh, and you should give your horse the nickname of a mythological creature. Perhaps a centaur to emphasise the one-ness of horse and rider??
Good luck!
 
bloody hell papafrita-jealous much?!

we all know who your reply is actually about and its verging on bullying as well as a bit sad, so you disagree, many people do without turning it to a rather bizarre,almost stalkerish crusade.

i work my ass off (2 jobs), and im entitled to spend all my money on anky/pikeur/eskadron if i want to.the only problem you can possibly have with that is jealousy.i have never (and neither has a certain other person) said it improves the horses way of going, or in any way implies that-my horses would still do well if they were kitted out in budget kit because rather bizarrely i do put as much effort in to training as preening them!iv got enough money to do both, so shoot me.

you are a quite unpleasant person.
 
bloody hell papafrita-jealous much?!

we all know who your reply is actually about and its verging on bullying as well as a bit sad, so you disagree, many people do without turning it to a rather bizarre,almost stalkerish crusade.

i work my ass off (2 jobs), and im entitled to spend all my money on anky/pikeur/eskadron if i want to.the only problem you can possibly have with that is jealousy.i have never (and neither has a certain other person) said it improves the horses way of going, or in any way implies that-my horses would still do well if they were kitted out in budget kit because rather bizarrely i do put as much effort in to training as preening them!iv got enough money to do both, so shoot me.

you are a quite unpleasant person.
Oh dear, oversensitive much?? Why on earth do you feel you have to justify yourself?
Yes, my life is terribly unfulfilled because I don't have a load of designer gear....
I've poked fun at people for 73 pages and no one has yet accused me of having a 'stalkerish crusade'. This based on what... one post??
 
Oh dear, oversensitive much?? Why on earth do you feel you have to justify yourself?
Yes, my life is terribly unfulfilled because I don't have a load of designer gear....
I've poked fun at people for 73 pages and no one has yet accused me of having a 'stalkerish crusade'. This based on what... one post??

You aimed it at me. You know it, I know it, a hell of a lot of other people have mentioned to me that they know it; so don't pretend. You've made some horrific comments on HHO, ones that you can't cover up and there for everyone to see; so stop lying and own up to what a vile character you have the tendency to be.

You are clearly a grown up so have the decency to act like one.

And don't worry, I won't contact you again because hopefully you won't be on here much longer.
 
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You aimed it at me. You know it, I know it, a hell of a lot of other people have mentioned to me that they know it; so don't pretend. You've made some horrific comments on HHO, ones that you can't cover up and there for everyone to see; so stop lying and own up to what a vile character you have the tendency to be.

I have reported you, and the reply I got back makes it clear I'm not the only one you've purposely upset recently and have also reported you. You are clearly a grown up so have the decency to act like one.

And don't worry, I won't contact you again because hopefully you won't be on here much longer.

I have never EVER PMed anyone to express outrage or offence. All my criticisms/opinions are made publically on the forum and I NEVER hide or cover up. Which exactly are the 'horrific' comments? Believe me, I could say a few things that would REALLY upset you if I'd had that intention.
I have no idea who you think I've purposely upset recently or who has reported me. This entire thread has been in jest and you are the ONLY person who has PMed me about it and you and PS are the only ones who have taken it personally.
Why aren't you offended or outraged for all the other people I've poked fun at?

Good luck with getting me banned. Don't forget to pick up all your toys and put them away when I'm gone ;)
 
Coming out of long-term lurkdom just to say that I've enjoyed every single word of this thread...up to the last couple of frankly bizarre posts. PapaFrita, you are amazing!!
 
I don't understand what happened with the two unhappy posters who have frankly wrecked the funniest thread for ages. Why they have chosen to pick up on a light hearted post about needing to have matching kit is beyond me :confused:. It's a pointless thing to do and I fail to see why they'd want to try to ruin a thread that has brought a whole load of fun to HHO. There are no names, no pack drill. Slighty paranoid?
 
I don't understand what happened with the two unhappy posters who have frankly wrecked the funniest thread for ages. Why they have chosen to pick up on a light hearted post about needing to have matching kit is beyond me :confused:. It's a pointless thing to do and I fail to see why they'd want to try to ruin a thread that has brought a whole load of fun to HHO. There are no names, no pack drill. Slighty paranoid?

Clearly we dont see the importance of matchy matchy, bling bling things.
I for one, feel that i am clearly missing out!
 
Dear PF,
I posted a while back and i love your advice :D so I've come back for more!
Anyway, if your horse gallops off with you would it be best to run it into barbed wire or throw yourself off and grab the reins and pull from the ground?
Also, I think my horse is a bit old now, I think I heard someone say you can tell their age by how many teeth they have, and my horse has 44 teeth, which is old, right? So if I take his teeth out he'll get younger again?

Many thanks, dumbass :)
 
You aimed it at me. You know it, I know it, a hell of a lot of other people have mentioned to me that they know it; so don't pretend. You've made some horrific comments on HHO, ones that you can't cover up and there for everyone to see; so stop lying and own up to what a vile character you have the tendency to be.

I have reported you, and the reply I got back makes it clear I'm not the only one you've purposely upset recently and have also reported you. You are clearly a grown up so have the decency to act like one.

And don't worry, I won't contact you again because hopefully you won't be on here much longer.

No, no, it's all about me I tell you! All about me!! :rolleyes: :D :D
 
I don't understand what happened with the two unhappy posters who have frankly wrecked the funniest thread for ages. Why they have chosen to pick up on a light hearted post about needing to have matching kit is beyond me :confused:. It's a pointless thing to do and I fail to see why they'd want to try to ruin a thread that has brought a whole load of fun to HHO. There are no names, no pack drill. Slighty paranoid?

*shrugs* Some people, eh?
 
Clearly we dont see the importance of matchy matchy, bling bling things
I for one, feel that i am clearly missing out!

It is terribly important to match and cannot be overstated!! Not matching means that you are a) terribly unfulfilled and your life is lacking in some way and/or b) that you are very very jealous of those who DO colour coordinate.
I am both :( but at least I have a sense of humour. Feel the huggles!!
 
Dear PF,
I posted a while back and i love your advice :D so I've come back for more!
Anyway, if your horse gallops off with you would it be best to run it into barbed wire or throw yourself off and grab the reins and pull from the ground?
Also, I think my horse is a bit old now, I think I heard someone say you can tell their age by how many teeth they have, and my horse has 44 teeth, which is old, right? So if I take his teeth out he'll get younger again?

Many thanks, dumbass :)

Definitely throw yourself off and stop it from the ground. If you land in front of your horse he will definitely stop. OK, so he might step on you a bit, but most horses don't like stepping on anything squishy and will pull themselves up.
Yes, 44 teeth means he's 44 years old. Foals are born 2-4 years old :) Leave a couple of his teeth in so he doesn't become a foetus.
 
Surely PS and NM are taking the proverbial? If not then I have seriouse concerns about their mental health :eek: Narcistic personality disorder anyone? :D
 
Oh, but enough about me - let's talk about you. What do you think about me!

PF, I bought a New Forest pony but he refuses to eat anything except crisps and cucumber sandwiches. As we get into summer he keeps escaping and gatecrashing garden parties for the petit fours. I'm really worried about the upcoming street parties planned for THAT wedding. He just can't help himself when the flasks come out.
Should I take him back to the Forest and let him go free like Hidalgo? (why did they leave his shoes on BTW?)
 
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